Panic!! All Major US Equity Indices Halted

Tyler Durden's picture

 

Nasdaq was the first to be halted at 0758ET.

The Dow is now down 850 points from Friday's close and halted...

The S&P 500 Futures is halted for the first time in history.

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mophead's picture

<-- Click here if you'd like to suck her tities

<-- click here if you'd rather suck a dick

VinceFostersGhost's picture

 

 

 

Ummmm.....nevermind.

StackShinyStuff's picture

When the house is down, close the casino.  Crooks.

EscapeKey's picture

How about this corker?

 

"We've long felt that the only thing preventing another financial crisis has been extraordinary central bank liquidity and general interventions from the global authorities which we still expect to continue for a long while yet," Deutsche Bank's Jim Reid wrote on Monday.

 

WTF - head explodes! The crash is DUE to extraordinary central bank liquidity. Unbelievable lies.

AgentHarlequin's picture

DUE to AND delayed by.... positive-feedback loop

Secret Treaties's picture
Secret Treaties (not verified) AgentHarlequin Aug 24, 2015 8:38 AM

#winning

BaBaBouy's picture

THIS IS What Happens When You Fuck With The POG!
GOLD Is Constantly "Fixed", Manipulated, Artificial Debasement...

Way To Go, Botchez...

THE 4th Quadrant's picture

Panic at the Disco, Botchez!

DirtyWilly's picture

Wonder if all the major media outlets will report this as just another "dip" or "slump"?

Santini Air's picture
Santini Air (not verified) DirtyWilly Aug 24, 2015 9:17 AM

Yes... until you see Anderson Cooper and teh talking heads being tackled and taken down live on air.

ebworthen's picture

Halted!?!?  WTF!???  When do they ever halt buying!?!?!

What?  They need to "change the dice" on the craps tables?

MalteseFalcon's picture

"Turn those machines OFF, Mortimer"

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

#winning

WTF is up with the lowercase!?!?!  It should be #WINNING.

pods's picture

Does this mean Ann Margret is not coming?

/joker

Bullionaire's picture

Pay attention, everyone. Paper gold to $1135 by close.

FL_Conservative's picture

Turn on those damn machines!!!!

J S Bach's picture

"Pay attention, everyone. Paper gold to $1135 by close."

Pay attention, everyone.  Paper fiat to $0 by 2020.

Jeremy Roenick's picture

It's a big shit sandwich and everyone is going to have to take a bite. 

Testudo321's picture

But some will have to take much BIGGER bites than others, while being convinced by media pundits they are eating Nutella...

fuu's picture

Did the NASDAQ just open down 9.5%?!?

The Big Ching-aso's picture

As bubbles go this was not a soap bubble, this was not an innocent little baby gurgle bubble, no this was a full octane FART BUBBLE my friends.

Now who was the prick that pricked this?

I hope it isn't Eddie Murphy AGAIN, man.

Mortimer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Montani Semper Liberi's picture

DOW was approaching 7% down 20 minutes ago, which triggers the circuit breakers and halts trading. Now it's at 3.5%. Stick save in progress. Look for gold to succumb to the the little guys with their cute tiny hammers soon.

Mr. Bones's picture

All of the indices got hammered last night. 

War_is_Peace's picture

Asked a buddy of mine who trades stawks what everyone is saying at the big firms.  "BUY BUY BUY" was his response.  Told me to double down on any open position because the market just "rebounded" 500pts...WTF.

clade7's picture

You need to find some new friends,

unless you enjoy their sense of humor...

buzzsaw99's picture

they mostly come at night. mostly. [/newt]

AgentHarlequin's picture

I've posted this earlier (below), but seriously... Prepping is now going mainstream from a former UK government adviser... erm... extra-financial-sphere-panic

http://gu.com/p/4bmy6/stw#block-55db1530e4b030434a2b0b07

Raging Debate's picture

Agent - Yes. Get the 3 B's of survival hedging now. Beans, bullets, bullion. Also have water purification, bleach (chlorine) if nothing else. This can be done for a few hundred bucks except for the bullion part. I have a bugout bag to live for months off the land, the worst case scenerio.

Geopolitics is a very real risk for the next few years. It's like the market. You don't wait to sell and time the market for perfection. You may not need these hedges and I hope we never do. But hope is not a strategy, perseverence is a better concept.

"Better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it."
- Benjamin Franklin

AgentHarlequin's picture

Thanks. I am way ahead of the mainstream curve on this, I just thought it particularly shocking that some previously-.gov guy says it, then it's referenced on a MSM website!

I'll replenish on my way back form the office tonight though...

TeethVillage88s's picture

No, time to get whiskey a case of beer, turn up the music, start BBQing, and clean your rifle. Put Deer Hunter the movie on the TV if it is dark outside where you are... I just love the opening in that movie.

S/

Raging Debate's picture

Teeth - I did that this summer and partied my ass off. I hedged and while business was very slow decided to have some fun in this Dark Carnival cycle.

Had to reign it in, the blood pressure was going up and I did wait for a number of years for a particular biz opp for this time so got to increase gym and health for that and the next few years of challenges. Your best hedge is still your health.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

Fucking cowards.  Let this thing burn.  

Eat crow you fucking sheeple & CNBC talking heads.   

Dead Canary's picture

Vala Moglus:

"All stocks must die"

Keyser's picture

For some comic relief, I just turned on CNBC to watch Cramer's head explode as the DIJA dropped 1042 pts... 

 

L Bean's picture

Cramer on the crashing Ulta beauty stock; "But people won't just stop doing their hair...BUY!!"

 

That's all theyre doing this am. "What should we buuuuuy?" Ludicrous. Like late night horror movie hosts.

 

LOLOLOL now he's blaming it all on TEH MACHINES. omg.

recidivist's picture

Beware of psychotic, highly leveraged traders on the roads today.  Saw four of them today on my drive in.  Post close it may be worse.

Raging Debate's picture

I watched that for a few on a Friday so I could wait to hit that 'buy buy buy!' button. I'll wait a month or so and evaluate then. Buying anything in panic mode is unwise.

Bilderberg Member's picture

would someone please post circuit breaker trigger points on cash markets

clade7's picture

"Who can fuck in this kind of weather!?"

 

Gene Tracy..circa 1975

Meat Hammer's picture

Tyler, you spelled RECOVERY wrong!  It's not P-A-N-I-C.  It's Q-E-4-E-V-A.

Slomotrainwreck's picture

<-- Click here if you'd like to ...

So many people would have tweeted or otherwise remarked to friends about this article but you had to ruin it by posting such a useless and vulgar thread at the top. Shameful!

techpreist's picture

Maybe he was doing it on purpose.

EscapeKey's picture
i was listening to the BBC radio news earlier in the car - they said that Shanghai fell 8.5% as expectation of easing monetary policy didn't come to fruition - Shanghai is now down 38% since June, and some commentators point out that it's a bubble caused by easy money.
in other words "we are completely aware that this is a bubble caused by easy money, but we expect you to ease further". Keynesian/Friedman economics in a nutshell.
XAU XAG's picture

 

 

Halt

 

Who goes there?

 

Seller or buyer

 

Seller = Foe

buyer = friend