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Panic!! All Major US Equity Indices Halted
Nasdaq was the first to be halted at 0758ET.
The Dow is now down 850 points from Friday's close and halted...
The S&P 500 Futures is halted for the first time in history.
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So where can a HFT desk push the needle into black for the day?
Buy long lasting foodsutffs with the remaining monies you possess.
Don't forget toilet paper ;)
JUST WAIT ... until the Dow crashes thru 15,290.
200-week MAV.
Then watch faces drop and underwear get soiled!!
Am I the only person salivating over all of the cool stuff I can buy at 90% off on Craigslist in another week or two from all the overextended assclowns out there?
CNBC right now - Pure comedy. Love it!!
PPT is having a second cup of coffee, joking as the opening carnage evolves and will not waste any powder until much later in the day.
only 18% more to go!
Bong hits all around! Or that really shitty diesel processed crap that they call cocaine. No wonder the Wall Street pretty boys are sheeple.
Calling Winston Smith! Revisionist history, STAT!
Called it. Five years ago.
Called it. Five years ago.
That line is long.
I sold out in May. Rising wedge plus a head-and-shoulders top.
Of course, it was in oil stocks so I was pretty far past the peak for those stocks at that point; still came out ahead though; good thing MLPs were paying mad dividends. Now we just need to wait for another round of QE before it's time to head back to the casino.
PS: Don't gamble more than you are willing to lose.
Bloomberg: "#BlackMonday Is Trending on Twitter"
In horror movies, cheerleaders usually get bumped off quickly, but despite the ratings, CNBC pom-poms live on.
cnbc says take the day off
go fishing
we'll be here tomorrow
Feels a lot like August 2011. However, with the halts.....this feels new.
Is that the Jaws theme song I hear playing in the background...
http://olduvai.ca
No, that is the music from Psycho you hear.
ANYBODY who's got a Mutual Fund manager who is SELLING today ... call them up and FIRE them. Should have been defensive a long time ago.
HOLY SHIT!!!
Awesome!
The stawk market must drop ~ 60% to catch up to oil, gas, retail, ....reality.
Just in time for some hope and change in 2016!
Day of the Keynesians!!!
"Sweep the leg."
All talmudic ground forces are ordered to immediately return to the homeland.
- Elders of Zion
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RqyBzXYZPoM
First time in history!! Wow, now what?
Call PBOC...they have form on this fandizzimagoo..
New Wall Street rules: only positive analysts allowed and buyers, we don't want any more sellers. The casino is now identifying all subversives who are against our system and will exterminate them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pope coming to praise communism.
With a side of climate change and a sprig of illegal immigration.
Its not a fall.... the chart is just upside down dummy....
this explains it all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1owcncKCHg
www.teamramgold.com/about-us
DOW opens DOWn over 1000. So cool.
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Vomit, baby, vomit! Give to TPTB with spades! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I hope George Soros losese all his money!
Dow -990 on MW ticker...
HO LEE PHUCK
BURN BITCHES BURN
Why is the Kraken cage door ajar?
I assume there's a ton of margin calls going off right now. Also, behind the curtains, the derivatives casino must be fully on fire now... Is this IT ?
+1 If you think we can get a -1,000 Dow day
-1 If you think you should be buying this dip
Am I holding short or long on this buy?
why do some stocks have a short sale ban on them? Tesla for one
.gov just covering .gov's proverbial ass.
War is the only thing left in their quiver.
@freedogger - agreed and they are doing their best to get it kicked off..
www.teamrmagold.com/about-us
I don't have CNBC how are those orange faced phucks doing? Has that one cocksucker that said the market is going up and "pensions have to go somewhere" hit the sidewalk yet?
Gave up able last week. I tried to pull up the site and it won't load.
L O L.
During the tech rout, CNBC was saying "buy on the dip." CCFn said sell.
Who's still around peddling BS?
soros is short since july
I prefer implementing rule #17 -Doubletap rather than rule 48. Emperor is running around naked
The algos are buying the dip!
This will go completely GLOBAL. The world markets will be ROUTED by the end of this week.
I voted up but your tense is wrong: This is global.
A train wreck that has been happening in slow motion just sped up.
So the typical 50:1 leveraged long hedge fund has what happen to them today? Let's see....2% equity + 5% down day = ???
Your avatar should be banned. Low class and nasty.
MArkets are crashing worldwide, and all you want to talk about is sex?
Banned?? It's an actual picture of Miley Cyrus that was shown on Yahoo News twerking at some concert. But yes, I agree with you.
This my friend is a classy ass.
Yours, not so much.
keep the bag on your head
It is a violation of ZH policy; how do we report it if he doesn't change it? You can't even tell if that is a man or a woman.
> man or a woman
I'm offended that you're only offering two choices.
So you'd grind those asses up, Ass Burger?
i am hoping it is a woman because i kinda like it
Hit that -1000 at the opening, that was enough, turned up 300, bang! Short squeeze, here we go...
Some clown on Fox Business channel just called for QE 4 and the panel grimaced and grumbled and poo pooed and axed him mid-sentence!
HILARIOUS!
Here comes the low-volume levitation ... "Black Monday" becomes "Magical Monday".
(All Hail Kortan)
The futures are still routed.
Hm. That EXIT door looks mighty small about now.
The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on and he, he walked on down the hall...
Had to come to ZH this morning to see the millennials triumphing...
Meanwhile, the DOW will be at 30,000 in ten years. The "world as we know it" is not going to end, but selling to "preppers" will always be great business.
You're going to have to get used to the fact that you're simply not going to be a rock star.
"Had to come"
Translation: must fortify my beliefs
We await your pontification on the benefits of socialism.
Cat got your balls?
O yeah? Well we'll see about that.
The dow could be at 30000 yet we can still get poorer. That number means nothing.
Yes, you will continue to get poorer until the right wing in America starts voting in their own interests, instead of in the interests of the capitalists.
Labor's share of output has been falling in America for 60 years.
In America, 90% of the financial wealth is held by 5% of the population. And no, they didn't "earn" it.
In America, 1% of the people own 40% of the stock market. Another 40% have no share at all.
In America, property matters more than people. THAT is the true definition of "capitalism." Only under capitalism could corporations be considered "persons."
Obamacare was a gift to corporations and was written 15 years ago by corporate lobbyists.
The strange thing about ZHers is that while they root for the apocalypse, they don't want justice; they only want an equally unjust system with them on top. This is why they are invested in panic.
Vote for the goverment to fix it? Voting for government is what broke it.
And the left-wing doesn't? They're just as bought and paid for as the Republicans are... In fact, they're BOTH OWNED BY THE EXACT SAME BANKS.
And please, stop the idiocy. The government and corporations paying each other off is the antithesis of capitalism. The mere fact that the corporations pay off the politicians makes said corporations NOT CAPITALISTS because they're not adhering to capitalism's principles. Call it crony capitalism, call it fascism, don't call it socialism, I don't care. I prefer to call it "crime"... Specifically fraud, larceny, corruption, etc. Not being socialism doesn't mean it's capitalism, and vice versa. The fact that profit exists doesn't make it capitalism.
Thanks for all the downvotes guys. I'd hate to think I was part of the ZH echo chamber.
It's not a loss until you sell, one of my favorite bullshit sayings!
I thought I would need a sarc tag with that.
Flipped on Cramer... the ranting... sounds like a whacko just let out.
He needs to be jailed
For his speech?
Fed just bid the market. Down 900 to down 560 in seconds. Must be getting serious.
TAKE IT DOWN!!!!
I went to sams club yesterday to stock up on TP, coffee, and rice.
It was packed in there....I guess everyone is getting the memo
-Arrest Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon. Don't let them get away.
There will be BLOOD in the streets.
Get my banana vendor on the line stat!
500 point bounce!!! Dow now -546!!!
Not to worry. After 3:45 all markets will be up for the day.
The bond markets are still open.
Shut up already.
If they closed, the country just collapsed.
Equity markets are for Stooges.
NYSE, NAZ, and S&P.
ummm...Silver down 3%+, i guess it's time to revisit the LOWZ
Today ends in the green.
The magic levitation pills have worn off. Now what?
Capitalism functions well under stress, eh.
Where do you see Capitalism? I'll buy a one-way ticket today.
I'm in the US we abandoned Capitalism 102 years ago.
hahaha; all model Ts black !
Every time I see a guy sleeping on the street in a plastic sheet, next to a limousine left running to keep it warm for its multi-millionaire owner who "earned" his wealth, I see capitalism.
Just because the state runs things (via regulations, interventions) doesn't mean it's not capitalism. The USSR was state-run capitalism, and China is as well. It's the *ownership* and by consequence the (extremely unequal) distribution that make it capitalism.
"Just because the state runs things (via regulations, interventions) doesn't mean it's not capitalism"
What?
Yep... it's ownership that defines capitalism. The USSR was state-run capitalism. Ownership was concentrated but still private. Despite western propaganda, there was nothing "socialist" about the Soviet Union. Scandinavia today is far more socialist (and richer and living better lives and happier than the U.S. has ever been.)
Socialism changes ownership of capital. It doesn't matter who makes the rules on paper, because they are owned by whoever has the capital -- just like the U.S. Congress today.
In fact, it's even better for the oligarchs when the government "runs things," because then they have moral (and legal) cover for bailouts like TARP. Meanwhile, the billionaires all get to keep the money they "earned" prior to 2008.
Free-for-all markets don't define capitalism. Ownership and distribution define capitalism. Valuing property more than people defines capitalism.
You must define the terms first; you speak of capitalism in the traditional sense and the other speaks of a "crony-type" of capitalism. Terms matter and I have found we often argue over things we often agree on because we never defined the terms. God blesses.
Then what system (in the U.S.) could possibly be responsible for the ever-increasing, decades-long worsening inequality?
It's not socialism, because socialism corrects for market injustices and produces and more equal outcome.
And in the ZH economic universe, the classification of economic systems is bipolar. It is either capitalism or socialism.
Charlie Gasparino is rattling off the "markets are a heroin addict and the fed is a dealer" analogies with the rapidity of a tommy gun!
pissing-annie noted Margin Calls dont happen until between 1pm and 2pm.
oups, now dat is a big dip.
Get buying, suckerz. LOL
Coitus Interruptus!
Leaves those hungry peckers with a unusual fealing; bitter almonds for the caviar emptors !
Funny my futures feed is ticking along just fine, you lying sack of shit.
Summon his holiness, the deer. Yea! Praise his hoofed and antlered name.
If Obama would just draw one of his red lines @ -1000 it won't go any lower.
If Obama had a son, he'd look like today's stock market.
Trust the holy, sacred, all-knowing markets!
Halted? Halted? I can find no evidence of them being halted.
Remember what I said?
By no later than December 31st, 2015, Triple Lehman starts.
Plunge Protection Team is failing; reversal now taking place again.
Ponzi is as Ponzi does.
Ponzi is as Ponzi does.
Ponzi is as Ponzi does.
We are all capitalists now.
FEES!
That should be a headline today.
Need money for bonus payouts!!!!
Pin meet bubble.
Buy The F**King Abyss. Bwhahahahaha.
My schadenfreude is overwhelming me in orgasmic crashing waves.
More like a maniacal cackle wafting in and out of the cubes over here...
This is just a Rope-A-Dope - the BIG FALL is still lurking in the future
It is just a headfake for now. Dow will finish up today and might even fill the gap left on Friday.
Hey. Hear that little sucking sound? That's the sound of hundreds of billions of dollars evaporating into thin air.
thats so f**cked up how can they halt the market and refill it for free ...
this system has no f**cin sense !!!!!
End this shit
You have to wonder what kind of self-hating human being is invested in panic.
Hey. Hear that little sucking sound? That's the sound of hundreds of billions of dollars evaporating into thin air.
When times get bad timeless things help to ease the pain. Rita Coolidge singing "My Crew" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81gi075_SYA
Written by Priscilla Coolidge & Booker T Jones.
Pick tomatoes, dig potatoes, pick beans, pull onions & corn, slaughter, deer, squirrel, rabbit, chickens, hogs & beef, eat watermelon in the summertime.
Sorry, millenarians. "Life as we know it" is not going to end just because of some numbers on a board somewhere in New York. There is no coming transformation of society, and all that stuff you bought from prepper websites is a waste.
Also, no one outside of the Amish can manage subsistence farming in the apocalypse. But it's cute whenever people talk as if they could feed themselves "off the grid" just because they have an herb garden today.
I'm also amazed at how many "preppers" actually announce themselves as such, since that makes them clear targets if TS ever did HTF. None of you misanthropes would ever survive a black swan event. You would be immediately attacked by cooperative groups, and they would put your head on a pike.
There is no doubt in my mind, your head would be one of the first. You don't know shit!
Nah. I have too many friends. I wouldn't be surviving on my own. I would be in a posse hunting out the misanthropic hoarders.
Why all the contempt? If someone wants the insurance of prepping and a garden, what ever the fuck is it to you? How have you been hurt?
Those items can be helpful in all kinds of situations including natural disasters. The point of insurance is that you just don't know what will happen.
You are not reasonable.
Living in a cleaRing in the woods with enough room to plant a garden does not make someone a "prepper". Many people I know who do just that have never heard the word p-r-e-p-p-e-r and have for many years considered the things that your so-called "preppers" do the gainful employment & work of a lifetime. Step off.
o o someone not in the tribe is making money so lets halt it, skull fuck that midget yellen
If you think this is ass tightening, Wait until october
What... you got a scary halloween costume?
VIX at 50 highest since 2008...
GUESS WHAT its a crash !
Remember all those people you tried to warn?
Don't answer the phone.
Horseshit. I have traded S&P futures when they were lock limit down any number of times in the 1980s.
Indices halted: I say BULL SHIT.
Whoever posted this crap should have their right to post here taken away.
Panic in needle park. Where is my QE fix?
Wow down 10% to start, trading halted, now down 2.5%; this is insanity. It will fail by the end of the week.
First "they" supposedly had stopped reporting Lake Mead elevation, which was a lie as hourly reports are available and have been right along. Now, "they" have halted the market, which is another lie; it has gone from being down about 1,000 to down about 300 now. Really, people, get a grip.
Nothing but net
How does this sh*t get published?
Ashley Madison...are you the reason the stock market crashed a 1000 points upon opening?...could not find any weather related stories...