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Ron Insana: "I Only Manage A Virtual Portfolio Which I Took To Cash Last Thursday"
Once upon a time, Ron Insana tried running a fund of funds. He failed.
Then he tried working at SAC. That didn't work out either.
Then, he decided to write scathing opeds in the Huffpo bashing "doomsayers." Four years later, the Fed is terrified to hike rates by 25 bps from zero while in the meantime all other central banks have joined the Fed in a global, liquidity-injecting tsunami, confirming the doomsayers were right all along.
So what is Ron, who once also used to work at CNBC, up to these days? The answer, in his own words, is "managing a virtual portfolio"... one which he "took to cash last Thursday." So is Ron then auditioning for a gig at Hedgeye, one wonders?
And here is an artist's impression of the compensation demanded by Insana in exchange for his "virtual" services.

* * *
And here is Ron's own take on the above:
@zerohedge Just being honest. I don't run a P&L. I wrote one op-ed in the HuffPo. As for the FoF, it was sold, not closed, in August of 2008
— ron insana (@rinsana) August 24, 2015
@zerohedge And, no, I am not auditioning for Hedgeye. Still work for CNBC, among other jobs that I have.
— ron insana (@rinsana) August 24, 2015
@zerohedge By the way, I was responding to a question. Can't say I'm buying or selling when I am, in fact, active. Would you prefer Iie?
— ron insana (@rinsana) August 24, 2015
@zerohedge When I am NOT active, that should have read ...
— ron insana (@rinsana) August 24, 2015
@rinsana @zerohedge don't worry. We are busy over here. pic.twitter.com/6kw0lddDRH
— Fed Porn (@FedPorn) August 24, 2015
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I have a Virtual Girlfriend who blows me morning, noon and night...
Virtualize bitchez!
https://localbitcoins.com
Market commentators are clowns and Donald Trump is serious. U.S. has gone full batshit retard....
Hope he has a time stamp on that transaction...trust but verify
This guy makes DOUCHEBAGS look good
Taking a virtual portfolio to cash is the equivalent of castrating oneself in front of Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and then bragging to your friends about how you showed them "responsiblity"
If only he'd been CC'd on that Tim Cook email to Cramer, all this nastiness could've been avoided.
Insana-ty??? hmmm
So failed cheer leaders do have a future - Hmmmmm?
Those who can, do. Those who can't, run a virtual portfolio.
what a smug little ass, why does he always have that shit eating grin?
Yeah Ron, we prefer you lie...
As that's your past history.
He took his own hedge fund to zero.
He can't get a job with CNBS which hires monkeys to do financial analysis.
The HuffPo is an AOL reject project where only the crappiest writers in the world go.
And this dude will be the first "virtual hedge fund manager" to take his virtual portfolio to zero while writing about it.
I took a virtual stack of bullion to about 500feet below sea level a few months ago, just being honest.
Hope he smells better, though.
No, he still uses that same crappy nose.
I didn't know Insana was that much of a fuck up. He tried all of that once leaving CNBC and he didn't get nowhere? I can't wait unitil the market upchucks on everyone of them.
Dupe.
Just this guy's last name should disqualify him from being on the tube.
95% of the DOW must be computers swapping HFT with each other. So the market will never really crash, as it's not really a market. My point of the obvious being we should stop paying attention to the DOW because nothing serious will ever happen...or if it all goes crap the only ones hurt will be Wall Street, as most of Main Street left long ago.
I just saw Ron Insana on CNBC an hour ago, talking to Sue Herrera. He looked a lot better than when he was on WPIX news on 9/11 in a street interview, about an hour after Two World Trade Center imploded. He looked like he was in clown make-up, his face and hair mostly white, covered with concrete dust. But when that microphone was put in front of him, he jabbered away fast for a few seconds.
Ron is preparing for survival.
Why not have a fake portfolio for fake markets?
Actually...why not indeed. I know people who sold 'World of Warcraft' characters they developed for real dough. Maybe one can do the same with virtual portfolios? Like buying homes in virtual reality games like 'Second Life'? I just don't know what's unpossible anymore...
Yeah, cuz most of us look at his picture and say "that man will last till the end".
He might replace the virtual girlfreind giving blow jobs morning, noon and night.
Hey I paper trade my Think or Swim too!
Did anyone catch Cramer on the NBC News 7:00 a.m. PST special report about the stock market? He stated "Economy is sound, Economy is sound!"
I also puked out my Oatmeal. Pathetic.
Another bald headed asshole with a pretty mouth for making money.
Remain calm. All is well.
When you think about it, the entire financial system is virtual.
Insana in the Membrana.
Those who can do. Those who can't either write or teach.
Why does anyone watch or listen to anyone's advice on CNBC?
What is wif all the Bald guys? Isn't this supposed to be show business?
The best clowns are always bald.
Not to mention those two pony-tail twins.
skullets
And on a pc in his moms basement
Stop the Insanaty!
I haven't watched CNBC in a while except today to watch the stage actors in the face of the 1000 pt dip.. the thought occurred to me that they are on par with the folks that hustle Ronson food dehydrators on the infomercials. Very obviously choreographed.
Now we know who the spammer is who keeps telling us his sister's boyfriend's brother's gay lover makes $5,000 a month from his computer at home in his pajamas. What a loser douche bag.
That's virtual spammer to you doc.
:)
Liar.
Market is turning back down again maybe we can get a 3000-4000 point move today. Anything is possible at this point.
It would never be allowed. Apple would just announced the iTimePortal and send stocks to the moon.
virtual portfolio? bug lulz
Ron Insana
Steve Liarsman
Bernie Madoff...
Who made these fookin names up to take the piss while happily stealing our money?
Burn!
What a douchebag. I appreciate the honesty but anything you say you are doing with your virtual money means absolutely nothing. Lets see how you do taking live rounds, step up to the plate little fella!
Cramer needs someone to come in and buy his f#$king dip.
I virtually laughed at this as I was writing a virtual check for my literal quarterly taxes.
no comment on what this dickhead, or any of his 'snake oil salespeople/cohorts', have to spew..................
Mr. Woulda Coulda Shoulda
Shoulda. Shoulda mentioned it last Thursday!
Ron Insaney.
Get in line fucker. Every internet stock prognosticator that I read, with the exception being zh, went to cash on Thursday and is selectively buying bargains today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you went short gold at $1,850.
I remember when ronnie had a full head of hair, wonder if he tried to deny he was losing all of it back in the nineties--
What you talking about, Willis. He has a virtual head of hair.
Virtual tool.
The questionof the hour is: Will the PPT come ack from their break and do a second rescue today....or...will they just wait til China tanks again and clean things up in the morning?
Sorry Ron. But you are NOT in the Club.
All good. Some of the self-proclaimed tough guys on Fast Money currently manage $755 Billion each . . . . . and they each average gains of +125% for ten consecutive years.
I'm not a financial advisor, I just play one on TV.
Not the same. Had it been real money (oxymoron of the day) greed could've easily had him long.
At one point, I also managed a virtual portfolio .. then my mommy told me to get off her computer and out of her basement.
he's just a virtual celebrity too.
If China is back down tonight....we go down again tomorrow....there is no good news out there...no interest rate hike in September...and that is not good news...shows everyone how bad our economy is....
You simply can't make this stuff up......... running a virtual portfolio.
No doubt SEC registered.
The guy is like a cold sore, he just won't go away......
I hope someone shoves a non-virtual spike into his diseased heart.
What the hell is a Virtual Portfolio? Is that one of those pretend shadow trading portfolios that allows you to back trade to any position last week that would have made you a virtual fortune today? I guess that's fine as long as you're content to live inside your iPhone and Kindle Fire in a virtual world on Twitter and Facebook.
Ron is a tool
In ron's defense...I did see him checking in to a Holiday Inn last Thursday.
Virtual insanity from the mind of a virtual personality...
These newspeople remind me of Max Headroom.
Max had more credibility, authenticity ...
Max Headroom was a man living before his time.
Didn't he start out in Coke ads?
Matt Frewer?
Me too. I went to cash and sold 1000's of e-minis in my mind, on Thursday. snort.
That's the trouble with modern technology. Live by the tweet, die by the tweet.
Guys like Ron should be shiv'd.
I sold my virtual portfolio and am now a virtual billionaire.
What the fuck. Think big.
Ok, so we know Flounders a tool...but look ZG=H, if hes only running a virtual book - well, thats impeccable positioning for these times.
Soon all 'wealth' will be virtual. Then notional.
Ron is such a douche ...
This pathetic clown graduated from my high school... Chaminade Prep in canoga Park CA (Great school). We alumni have erased his name from almost all school records, as he is a liar and a turd. The bathroom for those with STDs is still named InsanaVille.
She's going down again ...
"Piper down ... we have a piper down." - So I Married An Axe Murderer
What a complete Dick!
One of these days, people will wake up to find out that their "real" portfolio was virtual all along.
Yep and that day is approaching real fast
www.teamramgold.com/about-us
"Ron Insana keynote speaker at Las Vegas Global Gaming Conference attracted casino operators and exectutives from around the world"
"The keynote events kick off on Tuesday with award-winning journalist Ron Insana, who is expected to share his views about the state of the economy, and where the country is headed with a newly-elected president at the helm.
Insana is the former anchor of CNBC’s "Street Signs," has written monthly columns for USA Today and hosted a nationally syndicated radio program. He currently serves as a regular contributor on CNBC, offering color commentary on major market and political events." 2008
https://gamingtoday.com/articles/article/18960-G2E_kicks_off_8th_expo_up...
http://money.cnn.com/2013/12/13/investing/stock-market-game-invoost/inde...
Fantasy Football Meets the Stock MarketCNNMoney
\
"The website hosts online stock market tournaments that are structured a lot like fantasy sport games: players pay a small entry fee, pick stocks in the Nasdaq-100 using $10,000 of virtual money and trade them in an effort to generate the best returns for a cash prize.
For example, one game that is currently running has a $10 buy-in fee and a $100 prize pool, while another has a $2 entry fee and winnings of $20. Some sponsored games are free to play and also offer cash prizes. We thought about naming Invoost one of CNNMoney's 15 best financial sites and apps. But it doesn't really help you manage your money. It's just cool"
One of the biggest jerks you can unfortunately see on the TV screen.
That has to be one of the best names yet, Ron Insana
You don't like Cliff Assness?
The only thing anyone should be managing right now is their stack of physical PM's. EVERYTHING else is utter shit until true price discovery
www.teamramgold.com/about-us
Ron=Douche
So far Ron is 2 Douches, 1 Douchebag, a Tool, a complete Dick, and a virtual celebrity.
Oh yeah. And a liar and a turd.
I think Ron and Maria are the same person.
Has anyone seen them together, recently?
Waiting for him to apologize for acting like a complete ass to Peter Schiff as his counter-point every time on. Yeah, I'll be waiting forever
Another washed up douche with zero skin in the game trying to tell YOU what to do with YOUR money. Fuck off Ron and please see Sy Sperling soon.
NO, he's telling you what you shudda done with your money. He's a little late.
He's a Prankster Studio Gangster in the immortal words of my role model Eazy E
Hedgeye hahahaha...that was a good one. Busters, they ain't no real muthaphuckin' G's like us.
A virtual portfolio does not have to worry about a lack of liquidity, or worry that its position information is being sold to another party by its broker, or being front-run by a HFT firm or its own custodial broker. A virtual portfolio does not have to worry about security breaches on its internal network, Factset employees violating customer "firewalls" in order to benefit themselves.
In short, a virtual portfolio is not a portfolio at all, rather it is the delusions of a small mind.
No Ron, you did not fill your virtual order on "Thursday" on this planet Earth. Go crow about it on your virtual Second Life earth instead.
LOL! What a colossal asshole! Then again, perfect for CNBC they're all a bunch of gussied up FED whores.
The George Costanza of financial "news"
This is the virtual genius who, some time after he abandoned his slicked-back Dracula wig, told his CNBC audience that Ron Paul knows nothing about economics.