This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Do You Feel Lucky?

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 08/30/2015 19:50 -0400

Chinese (Mis)Fortune Cookie...

Source: Townhall.com

- advertisements -

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 19:54 | 6488550 homiegot

I feel rucky.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:23 | 6488615 0b1knob

"Chinese" fortune cookies were invented in America. They are unknown in China.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:27 | 6488623 Teh Finn

Try Kyoto Japan. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O-mikuji

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:58 | 6488738 Temporalist

silver fortune cookies

https://www.google.com/search?q=silver+fortune+cookie&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#...

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:55 | 6488730 homiegot

I still feel rucky.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 05:13 | 6489366 OldPhart

I feel fucky. No rucky.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 19:55 | 6488553 DirkDiggler11

I thought selling the market in China would get you a bullet to the head ? You can only buy, you can't ever sell ...

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 19:57 | 6488556 homiegot

It's kinda like that Eagles song...

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:01 | 6488567 DirkDiggler11

You mean the "Black Flag Roach Hotel Kalifornia" ?

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:01 | 6488569 bania

Desperado?

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:02 | 6488571 DirkDiggler11

+1000 Bania

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 22:33 | 6488967 zeroaccountability

Already Gone?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 00:58 | 6489233 StychoKiller

"Witchy Woman?"

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 22:26 | 6488945 Row Well Number 41

Like you can kill Skynet with a bullet.

#41

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:00 | 6488565 Victor E. Overbanks

This is not the original cartoon. Tyler changed it.

Here is the original: http://i.imgur.com/kq2622j.png

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:14 | 6488592 Bear

Changed? Just used GOOGle translator.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:37 | 6488674 Proofreder

Much moar humorous

in the original pen strokes.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 05:27 | 6489373 OldPhart

Mine a simple "Phuck Yu". I'd post it but ZH doesne't allow it.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:06 | 6488579 New_Meat

Serr!

Gung Ho Jwah!

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:09 | 6488584 nmewn

Kinda puts the old Chi-Com propaganda line of "running dog imperialist capitalist pigs" into a whole new paradigm of "buy wisky stawk investments wif bof hands comrade or die in re-eduaction camp!"...don't it? ;-)

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:10 | 6488587 knukles

What's the difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball?
You can't fit a prostitute in a bowling ball.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:41 | 6488685 Proofreder

Thou canst lead the whore to water

but cannot make her think.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:07 | 6488763 mijev

You can only get four fingers into a bowling ball?

Another oldie: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

"Full."

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 05:42 | 6489379 OldPhart

You're paying them to leave and get out of your life.

Make any joke you want, that's what it boils down to.

Hired a prostitute once...sat around for about two hours talking about her kids and why the fuck she does this shit. Cost $100.

Have a hard enough time getting it up for the one I love, let alone some stranger.

Bought her a couple drinks and left as 'friends'.

I was curious. I don't get into that sort of thing, but this was a young, attractive girl, that would have been in grand-daughter land. Why the fuck are you hitting on me in this shitty casino?

You looked like the average middle aged man that would want some strange, and you looked like you could afford it.

Well, total cost was about $115 after the drinks.

Lady, you have kids, you can feed/protect/ and educate them without fucking dumbasses like me. You need to look for some self-worth. You shouldn't be hitting on geezers like me at your age.

Forget the hotel in Las Vegas, but it was Japanese themed with impressionator deals....Oh, fuck, Empress Lily! Shitty fucking place.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:13 | 6488591 toady

May you live in interesting times.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:38 | 6488679 Proofreder

And come to the attention of the government ...

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 20:55 | 6488729 CHC

Looks pretty suitable as an American fortune cookie too.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:03 | 6488750 mijev

What you don't want to see in your fortune cookie:

"BTW that wasn't chicken."

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:04 | 6488751 H H Henry P P P...

Even more salt on a wound: the backside of the fortune paper has Illinois' winning lottery numbers.

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:13 | 6488781 JD59

LMAO!

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:42 | 6488843 semperfi

rolling on the floor laughing my mutha fucking ass off !!!!!! (aka: ROTFLMMFAO)

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:12 | 6488777 JD59

Already sold. Just waiting for the other 50% drop in stock prices before BTFD.

When the FED lauches QE to INFINITY! Bitchez

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:40 | 6488839 semperfi

sold a year ago - this bitch is comin down big - anyone who don't sell now is either plain muthafucking brain-rot dead or part of the fucking cabal

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:37 | 6488829 semperfi

I don't know if I fired 6 shots or maybe 5. But bein' this is a 44 magnum which can blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself a question - "do I feel lucky?"- well, do ya - PUNK !

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:48 | 6488861 williambanzai7

The only problem is these cookies are a Chinese American thingie.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 01:03 | 6489238 semperfi

who in their right mind would downvote the mighty WB7 ???

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 21:49 | 6488863 buzzsaw99

mine said: do buy bidu

those bastards!

Sun, 08/30/2015 - 22:31 | 6488960 zeroaccountability

There's gonna be a lot of people in the Hurt Locker next week.

Now, I have to go lub my rucky labbit's foot.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 01:00 | 6489236 onmail

Sell stocks & buy Gold & Platinum
Fast
before stocks become too cheap & Gold& Platinum get sky high

The disaster never tells you before it comes

Do You Feel Lucky?

Comment viewing options