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Gartman Goes From "Stock Prices Have A Long Way To Fall" To "I'm Confused But Still Buying Stocks" In 7 Days

Tyler Durden's picture




 

One week ago, just after the S&P crashed and when - as predicted - a battery of central bank intervention from China to Dudley jawboning, would unleash the biggest 2-day surge in the Dow Jones ever recorded, Dennis Gartman was unpleasantly out of stocks. In fact, the daily financial TV fixture whose daughter, Courtney, is a CNBC Fast Money line producer, could barely contain himself from telling subscribers (?) to his newsletter that now is the time to panic. To wit:

STOCK PRICES HAVE A LONG WAY TO FALL, WE FEAR!: This is the S&P in monthly terms and now that this first trend line has been broken we fear that the second one drawn here may eventually be put to test over the course of the next several months.

To which we said "Some good news for bulls: the long overdue snapback may be imminent" - this, too, proved to be spot on. Gartman then added:

... we should all be in “survival mode” today; there is no reason to take action of any sort other than to raise liquidity where  necessary in order to survive the present chaotic situation. The margin clerks are in control today and they can and will move markets where they wish and in whatever manner they wish.... This is time for retaining what liquidity we can muster; this is not a time for courage. Get smaller; get liquid and get safe. This is getting ugly and we can only hope it does not get worse.

And in the best humorous tradition on Wall Street, moments ago Gartman was out with the following: "I'm confused, but still buying stocks." More from CNBC:

The annual central banking conflab at Jackson Hole over the weekend has left widely-followed investor, Dennis Gartman, confused on when the Federal Reserve will raise its benchmark interest rate.

 

But, the editor and publisher of the Gartman Letter, has told CNBC he is "slightly long" on equity markets amid this uncertainty from the Fed and the stock market turmoil spreading from China.

 

"I trade only from my own account, I'm slightly long - a little discouraged when I see the action we've seen overnight in China. But, I think I'll stay that way and my propensity shall be to a quiet modest buyer of more on today's weakness," he told CNBC Monday.

 

"I think this morning's action is as confusing as any as we have seen, all predicating upon whether the Fed shall or shall not move in September, whether it can or cannot move in September. And listening to the various comments from the monetary authorities in Jackson Hole Wyoming, I'm still confused as to whether they can or cannot move in September," Gartman said.

So if anyone was confused why futures are pointing to a lower open, now know.

 

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Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:30 | 6489631 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

This clown couldn't call a bingo game.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:35 | 6489641 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

 

 

Why does anyone . . .

ANYONE . . .

give a rat's ass about anything this numbskull says?

Do the Tylers post Gartman crap purely for its entertainment value??

 

 

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:37 | 6489647 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Simple: it's the best market signal bar none. From August 24:  "Some good news for bulls: the long overdue snapback may be imminent." 

Biggest 2-day surge in the Dow Jones in history followed.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:41 | 6489658 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Gartman can out-Stopler Stopler himself.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:50 | 6489683 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

If you can openly admit that youre confused yet youre a financial expert with such a pristine track record of correctly calling the opposite of what you say....YET you are allowed to come on day after day after day to still give advice...its not really Gartman's fault since he is just clueless like the rest of us, its really CNBC's fault for keep getting him on the air.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:12 | 6489979 Kilgore Trout
Kilgore Trout's picture

His daughter and others are concerned with "what to do about Daddy". In the meantime, she's getting him this paying gig on the blowhorn. Eventually, the co-dependents will all be ruined by him.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:00 | 6492715 UncleChopChop
UncleChopChop's picture

i dunno.. i feel that gartman still has a ways to go before he takes the crown from stolper. if anyone here has access and the inclination, it'd be a great article to line up all their muppet-slayings side by side and who the real champion of dogshit is. 

i guess the saving grace for stolper and his title though was that he was a squiddy.. whereas gartman serves a clientele who still fax the newsletter around to their friends. i bet gartman newsletter still comprise the lions share of fax-machine wall street junkmail.

 

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:48 | 6489661 philipat
philipat's picture

Apart from anything else, he's a liar. How can "Get liquid, this is no time to go long" (Which in English presumably means "Sell") possibly be interpreted (With no intervening calls) as "I'm confused but STILL buying? Does he ever publish details of his alleged personal portfolio?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:36 | 6490076 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

Too many personas...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:52 | 6489692 Oracle 911
Oracle 911's picture

So a contrary indicator. I think he is doing the exact opposite what he is telling to the public or with a phase shift.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 09:20 | 6489764 jump_mutha_fukah
jump_mutha_fukah's picture

Keep it up Tylers...maybe he will eventually quit.

But speaking of signals....you guys have quite the knack for calling bottoms yourselves...somewhat pot and kettle'ish here with the Fartman, no?

 

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:35 | 6490070 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

But this entire site is commentary. Right?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:37 | 6489648 Boomberg
Boomberg's picture

Yes.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:37 | 6489649 MATA HAIRY
MATA HAIRY's picture

yes

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:40 | 6489655 Dutti
Dutti's picture

He is a great contrary indicator. I want to hear what he has to say.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:02 | 6489938 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

"I'm confused why I keep having these headaches" as he holds a hammer to his temple.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:31 | 6489632 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

he drinks way too much.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:36 | 6489643 bamawatson
bamawatson's picture

... or not enough

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:31 | 6489633 blown income
blown income's picture

Welcome back my friends ,to the show that will never end....

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:32 | 6489636 T-NUTZ
T-NUTZ's picture

this guy is a clown with a little less face paint

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:35 | 6489640 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

This clown should become a TV evangelist. He'd make more money, and it'd be tax free!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:36 | 6489644 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

<---- Markets will close DOWN today

<---- Markets will close UP today

 

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:38 | 6489646 wmbz
wmbz's picture

"I'm still confused"

Dennis "I'm still confused" Gartman for your spot off analysis of the markets far and wide.

When you absolutly, positively need to know which way not to go...Go to... Dennis "I'm still confused" Gartman

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:45 | 6489652 Arnold
Arnold's picture

He may need several prestigious positions on certain Boards of Directors  to make ends meet when the shit show is over.

 

http://www.dacharts.com/articles/_22rulestrading.htm

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:41 | 6489657 Two Theives and...
Two Theives and a Liar's picture

Just needs a red nose and a clown wig...

BOZO the stock timer!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:47 | 6489676 DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

I can't believe why anyone doesn't like The Fartman. He is straight freaking money ! Just trade the inverse of what he says on air and you will make serious $$$$$$. 98% of the time, Dont believe me ? It's your loss....

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:49 | 6489681 2muchtax
2muchtax's picture

"I'm confused", finally a honest commentator

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 08:58 | 6489709 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Allow me to unconfuse you Gartman.  Stocks are in a bubble.  As soon as the Fed and Treasury stop propping them to see what will happen, Goldman and JPM attack.  Then the Fed and Treasury panic and they prop them back up again.  Now you know.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 09:02 | 6489719 SMC
SMC's picture

Think we will buy more pullets (young hens).  

At least most of them will eventually lay eggs that have real world value.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:32 | 6490056 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

Pullets and porkers (shoats) are very efficient energy converters.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 09:18 | 6489759 Deadratsplat
Deadratsplat's picture

Damn...., what if we are the little Gartman acheivers? Is Tyler Brandt? Is hedgeless horseman the Dude? Yellen is Bunny? The options are endless.......

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 09:28 | 6489807 Salsa Verde
Salsa Verde's picture

Retards will believe anything if someone on television says it.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:29 | 6490048 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

Sounds like the song of today's retail investor...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 09:29 | 6489810 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

Guy needs some lithium.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:09 | 6489967 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

I know Nothing and can call it as good as that windbag.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 10:42 | 6490098 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

This guy's just a drunk.

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