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Monday Humor: Go 'West' Young Men

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 08/31/2015 19:00 -0400

First Trump, now this...!?

h/t @MaxwellStrachan

Relive the moment...

Get More:

...and read on for the full transcript below:

“Bro. Bro! Listen to the kids. First of all, thank you, Taylor, for being so gracious and giving me this award this evening.

And I often think back to the first day I met you also. You know I think about when I’m in the grocery store with my daughter and I have a really great conversation about fresh juice… and at the end they say, ’Oh, you’re not that bad after all!’ And like I think about it sometimes. … It crosses my mind a little bit like when I go to a baseball game and 60,000 people boo me. Crosses my mind a little bit.

And I think if I had to do it all over again what would I have done? Would I have worn a leather shirt? Would I have drank half a bottle of Hennessy and gave the rest of it to the audience? Ya’ll know ya’ll drank that bottle too! If I had a daughter at that time would I have went on stage and grabbed the mic from someone else’s? You know, this arena tomorrow it’s gonna be a completely different setup. Some concert, something like that. The stage will be gone. After that night, the stage was gone, but the effect that it had on people remained.

The … The problem was the contradiction. The contradiction is I do fight for artists, but in that fight I somehow was disrespectful to artists. I didn’t know how to say the right thing, the perfect thing. I just … I sat at the Grammys and saw Justin Timberlake and Cee-Lo lose. Gnarls Barkley and the FutureLove … SexyBack album … and Justin, I ain’t trying to put you on blast, but I saw that man in tears, bro. You know, and I was thinking, like, ’He deserved to win Album of the Year!'”

And this small box that we are as the entertainers of the evening … How could you explain that? Sometimes I feel like all this s–t they run about beef and all that? Sometimes I feel like I died for the artist’s opinion. For artists to be able to have an opinion after they were successful. I’m not no politician, bro!

Look at that. You know how many times MTV ran that footage again? ’Cause it got them more ratings? You know how many times they announced Taylor was going to give me the award ’cause it got them more ratings? Listen to the kids, bro! I still don’t understand awards shows. I don’t understand how they get five people who worked their entire life … sold records, sold concert tickets to come stand on the carpet and for the first time in they life be judged on the chopping block and have the opportunity to be considered a loser! I don’t understand it, bruh!

I don’t understand when the biggest album, or the biggest video … I’ve been conflicted, bro. I just wanted people to like me more. “But f–k that, bro! 2015! I will die for the art! For what I believe in. And the art ain’t always gonna be polite! Ya’ll might be thinking right now, ’Did he smoke something before he came out here?’ The answer is yes, I rolled up a little something. I knocked the edge off!

I don’t know what’s gonna happen tonight, I don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, bro. But all I can say to my artists, to my fellow artists: Just worry how you feel at the time, man. Just worry about how you feel and don’t NEVER … you know what I’m saying? I’m confident. I believe in myself. We the millennials, bro. This is a new mentality. We’re not gonna control our kids with brands. We not gonna teach low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We gonna teach our kids that they can be something. We gonna teach our kids that they can stand up for theyself! We gonna teach our kids to believe in themselves!”

If my grandfather was here right now he would not let me back down! I don’t know I’m fittin’ to lose after this. It don’t matter though, cuz it ain’t about me. It’s about ideas, bro. New ideas. People with ideas. People who believe in truth. And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”

* * *

If you thought Kanye West’s declaration that he would run for president in 2020 was a joke, guess again. As MediaEqualizer reports,

A Maryland Republican has already registered a pro-West committee with the federal government, Ready For Kanye. Eugene Craig III of White Marsh (shown above) submitted paperwork to the Federal Election Commission this morning and was given FEC Committee ID number C00585596:

The rapper made the announcement during last night’s VMA Awards.

Mr Craig has set up a Ready For Kanye Facebook page, which has attracted just four likes so far but is sure to grow from here.

Two T-shirt designs are featured there as well, appearing to have heavily borrowed from past campaigns including Mitt Romney’s in 2012:

Craig is the Third Vice Chair of the Maryland Republican Party and Executive Director of The Bulldog Collegian.

We asked Craig whether West would run as a Republican and why his candidacy should be taken seriously and are awaiting a response.

* * *

Crazy or not, West, 38, scored the award show's top hashtag, #Kanye2020, according to social analytics company NetBase. The show became the most-tweeted television program since Nielsen began tracking Twitter TV activity in 2011, with some 21.4 million tweets sent in the United States alone.

- advertisements -

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:02 | 6492470 Sanity Bear

Sorry Kanye, I'm a-gonna let you finish, but Deez Nuts is the best candidate

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:03 | 6492473 stinkhammer

go fuck yourself kanye

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:06 | 6492487 Groundhog Day

kanya and a kardashian in the white house. then the clusterfuck of this country would be complete

Go KAnya

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:07 | 6492489 CrazyCooter

Can someone translate that shit for me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0j2dVuhr6s&feature=youtu.be&t=58

Regards,

Cooter

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:16 | 6492531 kaiserhoff

Sure Cooter, glad to help.

It means "idiots uber alles".

Vat else;)?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:26 | 6492577 TeamDepends

See what ya done, Barry? Now any half-wit no-talent thinks they can be president.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:33 | 6492598 weburke

drugs wreck a brain.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:47 | 6492655 knukles

OK, y'all watch this shit.
All the rest of his concerts will be political performances, fund raisers, so that they're non-taxable and any money left over after the election he gets to keep, free of taxes.

AAAAAARARARARARARAGAGAGAGGAGAGGGGGGGRARRAAGGGGGHHHHHH!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:51 | 6492677 TeamDepends

I pledge allegience
To the booty
Of First Lady Kim Kardashian
And the banana republic
For which it stands
One nation under bling
With french fries and
Burrito coverings for all

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:58 | 6492701 TSA Thug

Yea a Haitian for president. I guess. As long as I don't loose my job.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:02 | 6492725 nmewn

If we unionize the TSA we'll get a better, more professional class of people!

_{(Gawd I could just fucking scream)}

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:10 | 6492755 TeamDepends

"Look for the union label as they throttle your junk at the airport."

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:35 | 6492850 Save_America1st

People who annoy you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDoisN3JLh0

jus sayin' yo...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:43 | 6492880 Save_America1st

I miss the old days when these fuckers would just murder each other...everything seemed...seemed so much simpler back then. Wish they would go back to the olden times. ;-)

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:00 | 6492947 remain calm

The White House isn't big enough for her huge ass. Look America a gang banger rapper and and a porn star. America really is the land of oppurtunity for degenerates.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 22:03 | 6493263 eatthebanksters

This guy Kanye is a staming turd and that wife of his is a useless ho. He won't last a month.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 00:11 | 6493784 Manthong

“People who annoy you”

I lost a little perfectly good single malt up the sinus on that one.

Well, one good turn deserves another..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jgebZi17zI#t=226

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 22:04 | 6493267 eatthebanksters

This guy Kanye is a steaming turd and that wife of his is a useless ho. He won't last a month.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:58 | 6493747 skepsis101

I think I'm going to puke!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:32 | 6494130 Oracle 911

Well at least he is REALLY American and have a real birth certificate.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 07:51 | 6494413 kralizec

Once again "What difference does it make?" in play.

Fuck 'em. make your own plans for the end game,

if you don't, bad on you.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:05 | 6492740 realmoney2015

Holy crap! I have just about had it. Just more MSM circuses to distract from the only candidate that has meaningful policiies that will give us more liberty. The only one who is serious about audting and ending the fed!

But we won't hear from him, because the mases are focused on celebrities and socialists that either don't realize the federal resverve ins enslaving the Americans, or more likely do not care that the Fed is.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:29 | 6493083 Overfed

I could swear that H.L. Mencken had something prescient to say about a thing like this....nevermind the prophet Mike Judge.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:37 | 6493136 Joe Mama 3

What's sad is that Kanye (probably) has the Masonic/NWO background to get his foot in the door !!!!! Widows and Orphans, Bitches !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 12:41 | 6495699 knukles

I believe that he's 33rd degree. Seriously.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 00:50 | 6493894 Mentaliusanything

Shoot us all in the head and make it stop. Please make it Stop

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:12 | 6492509 nmewn

Kanye Kardashian...lol.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:20 | 6492546 kaiserhoff

So Wookies are Republicans?

Who knew?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:00 | 6492712 nmewn

Oh hell yeah!

Ya got Jeb! runnin around talking about random "acts of love" where non-illegals get shot for just walking through a park, ya got your Corker-McConnell-Boehner cross dressing Deep State hacks doing a fucking belly dance in the Senate & the House and some dude in a red ball cap FROM FUCKING NEW YORK (of all damned places) who has declared bankruptcy (like what, three times?) trying to convince people that he's THEEE fiscally conservative choice to make in a country that WILL BE...twenty TRILLION FIATSO's in debt by the time the elections over.

Stick a fucking fork in it or them.

It was a great experiment in self governance that failed abysmally on the alter of Gimme My Free Shit Now Dammit.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:24 | 6492572 Mae Kadoodie

Kanye & Kaitlyn in 2020. Hennessy in every pot.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:33 | 6492602 TeamDepends

The First Booty looked smashing in black sequins....

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:15 | 6492520 Excursionist

Absolutely! But I betcha it'd be the most transparent administration ever, with the reality TV cameras in the White House and all...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:22 | 6492559 Cheduba

We are well on our way to Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, five-time Ultimate Smackdown champion, porn superstar, and president of the United States.

"Shit. I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution."

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:28 | 6492585 TeamDepends

+1, your avatar makes that extra funny.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:58 | 6492706 monkeyboy

Not Sure?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:38 | 6492621 LasVegasDave

laugh all you want. If you are white in the USA you have a target on your back

http://stuffblackpeopledontlike.blogspot.com/

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 00:13 | 6493788 TheObsoleteMan

Sorry, but the clusterfuck is already complete. We are just waiting on the last shoe to drop. And it had nothing to do with the Kardashians or name your "entertainer". Nope, the blame rests squarely in the lap of 90% of the 'mercun sheeple. It's a shame allot of innocent little children are going to have to die because too many didn't give a shit about what was important, and cared too much about what meant nothing. There is a price to pay for being fat, lazy and stupid. USA; OWNED BY JEWS, MANAGED BY NIGGERS AND PAID FOR BY THOSE STILL GOING TO WORK EVERYDAY.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:22 | 6492553 booboo

Who would have thought Bonzo would follow the Gipper's career path. Bedtime for America

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:47 | 6492893 Perimetr

Go squirt your juice kanye

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:05 | 6492482 Normalcy Bias

I bet Deez Nuts would slap Kanye right on the chin.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:14 | 6492514 fauxhammer

Kim K for First Lardy!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:39 | 6492624 angel_of_joy

I still like Trump more... maybe it's his hair, I don't know.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:27 | 6492814 bpj

Ice T and Coco, tons better.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 02:51 | 6494075 StychoKiller

Nigga, please!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:03 | 6492475 Normalcy Bias

Idiocracy really is coming to fruition...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:16 | 6492519 RaceToTheBottom

Kayne 2020

So Kayne is getting some glasses?

I don't care, take him and his nothing wife off my interwebs

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:23 | 6492567 Row Well Number 41

Can't happen until the machines can run themselves. Once that happen we are free to devolve into yeast, and the machines will keep our nutrient bath all nice and warm.

#41

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:30 | 6492593 Bay Area Guy

I'd agree with you, except I disagree with the "coming" part of your post.

Idiocracy is and has been here for a long time now.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:04 | 6492478 falconflight

One evil jig needing a righteously administered attitude adjustment. New dentures not included. ;0

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:05 | 6492483 stant

" I won't Anserw the phone at 3:00 in the morning"

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:05 | 6492484 economessed

It's going to be a nail biter between Kanye West and Chelsea Clinton for the nomination...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:06 | 6492486 PacOps

Never heard of this guy ... but then I haven't owned a TV since 1966. Am I missing out on something important?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:10 | 6492500 buzzardsluck

Yes, the once beautiful Barbara Eden but other than good looking pussy you didn't miss anything.

Also, fuck off with the auto play videos Tylers.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:07 | 6492491 Sokhmate

Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:09 | 6492492 q99x2

Now I know why people call me Q99X2. I don't recognize the names of any of the people in this article.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:14 | 6492506 L Bean

FISHSTICKS 2020

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:16 | 6492507 Arnold

U r n ngnrnt fol kane.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:22 | 6492560 Arnold

Should I have added 'niga' to the previous post for more cred?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:50 | 6492669 JamaicaJim

NIGGA PLEASE!

add dat....dis de way to go....blood

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:14 | 6492515 netpounder

Kanye, Kenya ... what difference does it make?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:33 | 6492605 knukles

Because one pronunciation sounds like Obama's citizenship, silly.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:15 | 6492518 Kaiser Sousa

say what????

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:16 | 6492529 nmewn

"I believe in myself. We the millennials, bro. This is a new mentality. We’re not gonna control our kids with brands. We not gonna teach low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We gonna teach our kids that they can be something. We gonna teach our kids that they can stand up for theyself! We gonna teach our kids to believe in themselves!”

Can't wait for his first State of the Dis-Union.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:18 | 6492543 kaiserhoff

Believe in demseffs?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:30 | 6492594 Miffed Microbio...

I think it will have to be closed captioned for us to understand anything being said. Maybe a translation to find some semblance of sentence structure to the incoherent ramble?

Has Idiocracy become a documentary?

Miffed;-)

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:01 | 6492705 McMolotov

The BBC peeps completely gave up trying to do subtitles of Kanye at Glastonbury and went with "HE RAPS" for the caption:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/glastonbury/11704373/Kanye-West-at-Gl...

Kanye 2020: "Ain't got nothing to lose, motherducker."

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 02:54 | 6494081 StychoKiller

So, you don't speak jive?!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:33 | 6494132 Zero Point

Haha! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXSLcYQHqFQ

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:35 | 6492537 SSRI Junkie

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:18 | 6492542 Kyrie eleison

We're saved!!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:20 | 6492547 Direct Democracy

I believe the USSA's foreign policy would finally improve, after all, with the first lady having a sex tape, she could blow all the dic tators into submission.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:23 | 6492565 gwar5

Sure, all we need to set things right in the world is to put a Kardashian in White House.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:26 | 6492568 knukles

This is fucked up.
But anyway, I know of about 1/8 the country vote for him, bitchez.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:38 | 6492617 Arnold

Sad, but true.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:25 | 6492571 Bopper09

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z26xPS8fYdE

Gotta have a gay fish

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:24 | 6492574 i_call_you_my_base

Watch, he'll be a neocon.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:32 | 6492595 knukles

That could well get him elected.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:28 | 6492587 Make_Mine_A_Double

Nope - sorry. No more minorities - white people only.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:49 | 6492664 daveO

To God's ears.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:33 | 6492599 wmbz

This moron is the definition of the dumbing down of this country. However there are plenty of very low IQ's out there that would vote for him.

Just look at who we have now.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:36 | 6492614 redman38

Total tool

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:38 | 6492618 surf0766

First Trump, now this...!? should be

First Trump, now dis...!?

New Merikan Communist Core Language

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:40 | 6492629 ThrowAwayYourTV

Man. I watched the first ten seconds and my brain shut down from overload. I cant stand the freakin screaming, man. Why the friggin SCREAMING?

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:49 | 6492663 Consuelo

Free Shit - 2020

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:53 | 6492684 JamaicaJim

Kanye West

A steaming pile of dog shit....

same thing....

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:54 | 6492689 Jstanley011

Wow, what a coincidence! That's the same year I've decided to stop jacking off.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:59 | 6492709 GooseShtepping Moron

I had Limbaugh on earlier this morning, and he was replaying the speech above as he was commenting on the story. At that point I realized that I had never actually heard Kanye's voice before that moment. I only knew him and his ho-bag wife from the pictures contained in the unsolicited news stories that my ISP-provided email portal flashes before my eyes whenever I want to check my messages.

It was an educational experience. He sounds like a pussy. His voice is high and whiney, without any richness or depth. It's as if Steve Urkel bought himself a leather jacket, broke into the music sampling business, and banged himself a Kardashian. Sad to say it, but I honestly think Kim is the brains in that relationship. At least her tweets are grammatically coherent.

I remember I had the same experience the first time I heard Russell Brand's voice. Another pinched and effeminate timbre rendered all the more pathetic by the British accent and the constant undertones of moralistic preening.

I don't understand how women today could elevate these two dorky dudes to the status of sex symbols.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 19:59 | 6492711 jmaloy5365

I'd rather have an illegal Mexican be President.....

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:06 | 6492744 nyse

"Fuk dis nigga presidential hopes -- I'm here to fuk his wife, long-dick style"
-Tyrone

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:19 | 6492796 thesonandheir

Can't have no hobbits in the White House.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWPsGV3HpZQ

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 20:47 | 6492895 Who was that ma...

Well den, he be runnin' against ME, Buh'-whee'!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:01 | 6492956 CHC

I'll vote for Kanye when he turns white and has a fucking brain.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:26 | 6493076 Guns N Metals

What a sad joke this has all become. Jesus is the only truth.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 21:59 | 6493243 Dre4dwolf

Yes, Millennial Kanye West will save the country, clearly.

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 22:17 | 6493334 frontierland

No more Dindu Nuffins in the White House PLEASE!

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 22:32 | 6493409 Harry Balzak

He'd probably be better than the current president...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:05 | 6493560 large_wooden_badger

DEEZ right here IS nutz

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:29 | 6493656 colddirt

We're fucked............

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:42 | 6493703 Colonel Klink

Kanye West, one of the biggest jackasses of our times. Fuck off dipshit!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 00:53 | 6493902 22winmag

I second the notion!

If Obama had a son...

Mon, 08/31/2015 - 23:56 | 6493745 enloe creek

By then he may be the best choice. Since no one born before 1958 will be allowed to vote because we soaked the youngsters for all they would ever have and left a diseased old white of a country for them to manage . we be lucky if they don't make us all go work in salt mines til we turn into fish food

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 01:02 | 6493925 MSorciere

Oh Jesus!

If anyone every doubted that Amerika is soo over - this klown.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 01:54 | 6494028 Deathstar

Idiocracy has become reality.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 01:55 | 6494031 Deez Nuts

Indeed!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 02:57 | 6494086 StychoKiller

Please expound on yer Presidential platform/positions! :>D

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:39 | 6494136 Zero Point

Fuck it, I'd vote for the clown. Might be funnier than the other ziopuppets.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:41 | 6494137 Moonrajah

Deez iz Nuts!

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:46 | 6494141 Kina

Fuck me dead. That he is even serious about it shows how fucking low the bar is set for American politics. That even others in the USA think it ok shows how fucking low the average US IQ has fallen.

Just when you think the USA couldn't get even more stupid we get this.

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 03:51 | 6494147 Panic Mode