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Chuck Norris "Exhausted" By Iran Nuclear "Antics", Walker May Launch "Pre-Emptive Strikes"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Earlier this year, for reasons that remain unclear to this day, the US government decided to re-annex Texas.

The idea, according to on-the-ground intelligence, was to send in the SEALs and other elite military units under the guise of a “training” exercise on the way to instituting martial law and nullifying Texans’ second amendment rights. The exercises, dubbed "Jade Helm 15", began on July 15 and run through next week. As of now, the feared “Texas takeover” has not in fact played out. 

As far as we can tell, there are only two possible explanations for why insubordinate Texans weren’t rounded up in rail cars and shipped off to makeshift internment camps at abandoned Wal-Marts. The first explanation is that Jade Helm really was what the military said it was - a training exercise. Needless to say, that seems unlikely - just ask Walter Eugene Litteral, Christopher James Barker, and Christopher Todd Campbell (pictured below). 

The more plausible reason why Texas is not currently under siege by federal forces is that the US Spec Ops command realized the government’s original assumption - that besides the Texas guard, the state would be largely defenseless against a federal incursion - was a dangerous miscalculation...

As you might recall, Chuck Norris pledged to protect the state in the event Jade Helm turned Texas into a war zone and we can only assume that it was Walker Texas Ranger’s warning to Washington (“these ‘exercises’ come too near to my ranch’s backdoor”) which ultimately served to dissuade the Pentagon. 

Now that Jade Helm is set to end without incident, Chuck Norris is free to focus on even bigger threats to the American public than the military. Threats like Barack Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani, two like-minded despots who, as you might have heard, recently struck a deal that will soon see Tehran obtain enough nuclear firepower to wipe out a continent - or something. 

Anyway, we learned last week that Obama likely has the support he needs to sustain a veto of a GOP challenge to the Iran Nuclear Deal which means that unless Republican lawmakers can figure out some manner of legislative ruse, the world is about to get a lot more dangerous - and in a hurry. 

Of course keeping America safe in an insanely dangerous world means calling on an insanely dangerous man for help and on that note, we bring you the following message from Chuck Norris, in which America's favorite Texas Ranger suggests that if he were allowed to speak for and act on behalf of the entire international community (and what a world that would be), the Bahamas will never obtain a nuclear weapon, Iranian drug dealers will never be given a 90-day heads up to hide their stash, and most importantly, Iranian nuclear ambitions will be "sniffed" out and "pre-emptive strikes" will be launched.

*  *  *

Via Chuck Norris

Let me highlight six Obama statements about the Iran nuclear agreement that are complete exaggerations.

1) President Obama said, “I’ve had to make a lot of tough calls as president, but whether or not this deal is good for American security is not one of those calls. It’s not even close.”

“Not even close”?

He just said Friday, “the vast majority of experts on nuclear proliferation have endorsed this deal. The world is more or less united …”

But 200 retired generals and admirals completely disagreed as they sent a letter to Congress last week urging lawmakers to reject the Iran nuclear agreement, which they said “would threaten the national security and vital interests of the United States.”

Are we to assume that most of them are not in any respect “experts on nuclear proliferation”? And are we gullible enough to believe that the commander in chief knows more about military strategy and American security than 200 retired generals and admirals?

2) President Obama said, “Because this is such a strong deal, every nation in the world that has commented publicly – with the exception of the Israeli government – has expressed support.”

But the Wall Street Journal reported that “Saudi Arabia, Egypt and the United Arab Emirates – are just as distraught” as Israel about the Iran nuclear deal.

Obama’s “with the exception of the Israeli government” comment is not only a ginormous snub to our greatest ally in the Middle East but an affront to the fact that Israel has been threatened repeatedly with genocide by Iranian leaders.

Jerusalem is 970 miles from Tehran, which is roughly the distance between Washington, D.C., and the islands of the Bahamas – just 50 miles off the Florida coast. If the Bahamas were a hostile state to Washington with a long history of threatening to eradicate the U.S. capital from the planet, do you think anyone in Washington would concede to give the Bahamas nuclear power?

3) The president initially said International Atomic Energy Agency, or IAEA, inspectors would be allowed to “access any suspicious location” in Iran. He then backpedaled and limited it, saying, “Inspectors will be allowed daily access to Iran’s key nuclear sites. If there is a reason for inspecting a suspicious, undeclared site anywhere in Iran, inspectors will get that access, even if Iran objects. This access can be with as little as 24 hours’ notice.”

But the truth is, Obama’s “anytime, anywhere” inspections is a bunch of smoke-and-mirror sales pitches to get the American public and legislators to buy the agreement.

First, even the president confessed: “And while the process for resolving a dispute about access can take up to 24 days, once we’ve identified a site that raises suspicion, we will be watching it continuously until inspectors get in.”

However, the Wall Street Journal did an investigation into the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action released by the Obama administration and it “reveals that its terms permit Iran to hold inspectors at bay for months, likely three or more.”

Now, imagine what a drug dealer could do with a warning 90 days before a law-enforcement raid.

The White House noted: “Right now, Iran has nearly 20,000 centrifuges between their Natanz and Fordow facilities. But under this deal, Iran must reduce its centrifuges to 6,104 for the next ten years.”

Ten years?! That’s two-and-a-half presidential terms or cycles. And we expect the No. 1 terrorist-recruiting Islamic nation in the world to comply and not play a shell game with centrifuges over that 10-year period?

And if you think the preceding sounds bogus, consider that the Associated Press just discovered a “secret agreement” between the IAEA and the United Nations and reported this about the discovery: “Iran will be allowed to use its own inspectors to investigate a site it has been accused of using to develop nuclear arms, operating under a secret agreement with the U.N. agency that normally carries out such work.”

And, to add injury to insult, guess who will pay for those Iran inspectors to investigate their own nuclear facilities? You guessed: the American taxpayers have to pay more than $10 million a year.

Imagine: Washington agreeing to force American taxpayers to pay for a rogue and terrorist-funding Islamic republic to inspect its own nuclear facilities while ignorantly hoping it doesn’t develop a nuclear bomb behind our backs.

We really have forgotten Sept. 11.

Over the last week, I discovered two more exaggerations for a total of eight I want to address.

Here are two more significant exaggerations:

Obama says his critics are exclusively Republican and warmongers: “a majority of Republicans declared their virulent opposition. … By killing this deal, Congress would not merely pave Iran’s pathway to a bomb, it would accelerate it.”

First, what Americans need to know is that many of those who have formerly backed the president are reneging their support when it comes to the nuclear deal with Iran. And even though the president may boast that he has enough votes to prevent a veto override by Congress, opponents are within one vote of securing enough votes to overcome any filibuster, and five Democrats’ votes are still unknown.

What is it saying for a Democrat president when key Democrats largely from more liberal coastal states are even opposing his nuclear deal?

Obama cited critics, “They warned that sanctions would unravel. They warned that Iran would receive a windfall to support terrorism. The critics were wrong.”

No, Obama is wrong, and this point may prove just how clueless he really is.

Here’s one of the craziest facts about the U.S. deal: Even if Congress rejects it, Iran will be rewarded with at least $40 billion and up to $150 billion that were previously frozen through international sanctions. These are funds that can and will be used to sponsor terrorism against the U.S. itself.

When fact-checking this claim, PolitiFact affirmed, “Even if Congress does not approve lifting the United States’ sanctions, Iran will likely be able to get a good chunk of the money it currently cannot access.”

PolitFact continued, “Iradian estimated that Iran would be able to access $40 billion of its currently inaccessible assets in that scenario, and the Iranian economy could get an even bigger boost if European companies decided to invest heavily in Iran.”

The more you open the sanction floodgates, the more money Iran will have to pour into its military and pro-terrorist sponsoring. And don’t forget that the Islamic regime will also start to sell its oil openly on the market. That will dump mega-amounts of money into its economy and military to fund terrorism around the region and world.

The worst part of this money being released is what prompted even Rep. Brad Sherman, D-Calif., to call the whole deal “good, bad and ugly.” Win or lose the agreement, Iranians will “get their hands on $56 billion,” which he said they will use to “kill a lot of Sunni Muslims, some of who deserve it and many of whom do not, and what’s left over will go to kill Americans and Israelis.”

Does the White House have a cell left in its thinking cap? Who’s kidding whom? Is there anything right or sane about giving a terrorist nation the money to kill our own people and allies?

How about the option neither to give Iran nuclear abilities nor more pro-terrorist monies?

What about the international community regarding Iran for the terrorist-sponsoring Islamic regime it is and saying to its leaders, “We’re exhausted by your antics and empty promises. If we so much as sniff continued nuclear development, we are going to covertly and overtly stop you, even if that means military action and pre-emptive strikes on your nuclear facilities.”

Isn’t an international line in the sand a better option than either Iran developing a nuclear bomb behind our backs or funding more terror against the U.S. and possibly our next Sept. 11?

Congress, don’t be pressured to drink the nuclear Kool-Aid!

*  *  *

 

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Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:03 | 6519736 Spiritof42
Spiritof42's picture

He hasn't been the same since Bruce Lee kicked his ass.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:05 | 6519743 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

You mean the USSA is not the same since China and Russia said fuck you to the banksters.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:10 | 6519754 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The red white and blue Kool-Aid is pretty strong, here, but not all of us Texans are fucking idiots like this actor, Chuck Norris.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:11 | 6519779 buzzardsluck
buzzardsluck's picture

Your a Houstonian correct? 

 

This says it all "Obama’s “with the exception of the Israeli government” comment is not only a ginormous snub to our greatest ally in the Middle East but an affront to the fact that Israel has been threatened repeatedly with genocide by Iranian leaders."  Kinda says it all no? 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:39 | 6519792 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

How many nations has Israel invaded since we created it and its apartheid government after WW2?  5?  6?  Iran has invaded zero nations.

So Israel has the right to have reactors and nukes, without inspections, but its neighbors don't? How do you make an intelligent argument for that?  You don't!  So, you just push a bunch or rhetoric, propaganda, and scare tactics.

Idiots like Chuck Norris are for freedom, liberty, democracy, the right to self defence, and property rights...but just for themselves, not for everyone.  He is the worst kind of moral relativist.

 

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-01-27/and-wealthy-men-were-enthralled...

The morality of a fight matters, as was taught to a young Chris Kyle by his father, and to me by my father.

It always has. 

It always will.

As Bastiat says in, The Law:

Each of us has a natural right — from God — to defend his person, his liberty, and his property. These are the three basic requirements of life, and the preservation of any one of them is completely dependent upon the preservation of the other two.

We do not have the natural right to attack others, imprison others, and to take or destroy others property...even if it is profitable to do so...and even if not doing so may endanger our nation's ability to enforce the petrol dollar.

Get us out of Afghanistan.

Get us out of Iraq.

Get us out of Syria.

Get us out of Bahrain.

Get us out of Saudi Arabia.

Get us out of Yemen.

Get us out of Ukraine.

Stop the drone war.

 

Chuck Norris writes:

We really have forgotten Sept. 11.

No.  We haven't forgotten that Israeli Mossad agents filmed the attacks and celebrated them.  Have you, Chuck?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:52 | 6520141 strannick
strannick's picture

Like Bolt the cartoon dog, Norris really believes he is a super hero, really believes there are mustache twisting arch villians

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 23:36 | 6521211 AE911Truth
AE911Truth's picture

It's all a pack of lies. The Iranians want peaceful plasma based clean energy for all:

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2015/08/10/disclosure-why-sabotaging-the-ir...

 

Fri, 09/11/2015 - 01:32 | 6534680 Ace006
Ace006's picture

Unh huh. Surrre they do. You bet.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:53 | 6520152 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

9/11 was a CIA/Mossad plot as former President of Italy, Francesco Cossiga, who blew the whistle on Operation Gladio, explained:

Former Italian President and the man who revealed the existence of Operation Gladio, Francesco Cossiga, has gone public on 9/11, telling Italy’s most respected newspaper that the attacks were run by the CIA and Mossad and that this was common knowledge amongst global intelligence agencies.

Cossiga’s tendency to be outspoken upset the Italian political establishment and he was forced to resign after revealing the existence of, and his part in setting up, Operation Gladio – a rogue intelligence network under NATO auspices that carried out bombings across Europe in the 60s, 70s and 80s.

Coming from a widely respected former head of state, Cossiga’s assertion that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job and that this is common knowledge amongst global intelligence agencies is highly unlikely to be mentioned by any establishment media outlets, because like the hundreds of other sober ex-government, military, air force professionals, allied to hundreds more professors and intellectuals – he can’t be sidelined as a crackpot conspiracy theorist.

http://www.globalresearch.ca/ex-italian-president-intel-agencies-know-9-...

 

9/11 - The Truth In 5 Minutes - James Corbett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgrunnLcG9Q

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:18 | 6519808 buzzardsluck
buzzardsluck's picture

I wasn't clear enough it seems, he is a Israhell supporter. 

 

Thats what happens when drinking during daylight I guess.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:27 | 6519832 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

Try this, confused fellow:

Israeli Minister Meridor Concedes Iran’s Leaders Have Never Called for Israel’s Destruction

http://www.richardsilverstein.com/2012/04/16/meridor-concedes-irans-lead...

or this:

Experts confirm that Iran's president did not call for Israel to be 'wiped off the map'. Reports that he did serve to strengthen western hawks.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/jun/14/post155

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:40 | 6519878 buzzardsluck
buzzardsluck's picture

Not confused, just drunk enough to think my original statement was clear enough to implicate norris as a zionist bitch. Obviously it wasn't (along with me using your instead of you're) and I'm on number four.

 

P.S. Holy edits H.H.   lol

 

P.S.S. Holy edits edits H.H.

I'll see you at the next TV event.

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 12:11 | 6522710 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

Even more confused than I thought. Get well, strange fellow.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:43 | 6520121 Flagit
Flagit's picture

 

Yea, and an actor is the LAST person I would figure has jewish friends.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:11 | 6520024 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

So Chuck, Chuck bo buck, banana nana fo ...

 

Just WHO started the nuclear arms race in the Middle East?  And with who's help?

 

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:32 | 6520091 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

All this butch macho talk made me pop a boner in my spandex crotch jeans!

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:03 | 6519737 buzzardsluck
buzzardsluck's picture

I'm guessing this is the TD that posts on Slope of Hope

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:10 | 6519768 knuppel
knuppel's picture

USA has 0 jurisdiction for Iran or its neighbours.

Chuck go home zionist christian desert nut. And stop putting real american rebels in front of your zionist chariot.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:10 | 6519770 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

The Iranian deal is the only good thing Obama has done.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:11 | 6519783 knuppel
knuppel's picture

if it gets fulfilled

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:28 | 6519859 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

you mean by the US?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:31 | 6519874 knuppel
knuppel's picture

yes

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 12:08 | 6522697 giovanni_f
giovanni_f's picture

agree.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:13 | 6519789 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Chuck stick with the "high kicks" and the third rate C movie acting!...

We've got enough macho without the balls to back it up in Washington since 1965 and the long gray line of military "successes" to prove that point!!!

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:15 | 6519796 IReallyDontCare
IReallyDontCare's picture

Jezz for one second i thought i had clicked theOnion.com, what the fuck is ZeroHedge posting a sad old third rate actor and why the fuck would anyone with half a brain give two shits about his rediculous opinions? 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:24 | 6519834 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

#ChuckNorrisMatters

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:30 | 6520300 conscious being
conscious being's picture

Why? I'm gonna guess because its funny. Let's all laugh at what a zino-dope Chuck is.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:15 | 6519804 Republi-Ken
Republi-Ken's picture

Hey Chuck You Moron.

Nuclear Material cannot be hidden...

Once its in any location, the radioactivity leaves a footprint.

So 24 days or 90 days doesnt matter.

We will know Iran cheated on the deal and BOOM.

Talk to a nuclear scientist next time, instead of your bartender.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:19 | 6519812 OzFan
OzFan's picture

Fck me....another moron.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:22 | 6519822 Toxicosis
Toxicosis's picture

DELTA FORCE-  FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:23 | 6519826 Victor E. Overbanks
Victor E. Overbanks's picture

Since Jade Helm started military air traffic has increased substantially over my area in Texas. I see formations of military helicopters (as in multiple flying close together) sometimes twice a day.

I have even seen what looks like a predator drone 3 times now. They are quite curious to watch because they almost blend in with the sky completely. It is also really hard to make out the wings/tail section, even with binoculars. Whatever they are it looks like the vertical stabilizer is pointing downwards instead of up like a traditional aircraft's elevator/tail placement.

 

Do you realise how nerve racking it is to have drones/helicopters which are armed/maybe not armed flying over your home all the time?

 

I consider myself a somewhat decent observer. I smoke so I spend a fair bit more time than most looking out at the night/day sky.

I'm also a hobby astronomer, have a few telescopes, and have spent quite a bit of time learning about what is in the sky.

 

That being said, the skys over the part of Texas where I live have never had this kind or volume of air traffic before.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:31 | 6519872 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

Long range laser pointers will clear up any confusion when used properly. Green is best.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:25 | 6519836 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

The Onion?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:26 | 6519847 PoasterToaster
PoasterToaster's picture

Israel has hundreds of nuclear weapons, the enemies it has chosen for itself have zero.

 

Moreover, who cares what happens to the State of Israel?  Why should any American give one shit about it?  What the hell have they ever done for us besides start fights and use us for their own ends, mocking and laughing at us behind our backs?

This is our "friend" in the Middle East?  Fuck them.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:28 | 6519854 FreeSlave
FreeSlave's picture

Fuck you Chuck! stop supporting Zionist, then I will think if you worth my time... But I am sure you wont, because zio-hollywood helped you to make few bucks, so you are returning the favor

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:57 | 6520161 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

ChucK can read your post but being thE humanitarian he is he'll still grant you 3 wishes.

They had all better be "Please don't kill me".

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:27 | 6519857 Raul44
Raul44's picture

Idiot at large.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:33 | 6519882 Xatos
Xatos's picture

Wow, the liberal lack of intellect is strong in the comments, today. 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 21:09 | 6520692 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Your 6 weeks of membership don't make Chuck Norris' confused drivel make sense.  If you want to call people "liberals" in a derogatory sense for demanding that commentators make sense, you should go back to Drudge or FreeRepublic where you'd be more comfortable.

Say what you like about Obama or the Iran deal, Mr. Norris, as  usual, is full of shit.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:36 | 6519898 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I say they already have nukes and they will be offered anything to try to keep them from too many deals with Russia and China. Problem is they are sitting on a great land mass for the unfolding world expansion throughout Russia this century and the banksters want to control that. The banksters are suicidal banksters and corporations lack morality so they will shoot themselves in the foot. Time cannot be stopped easily.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:36 | 6519900 Cow
Cow's picture

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

#ChuckNorrisMatters

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:38 | 6520323 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

But can he get a flight out of Crossroads to Tanaris without being camped?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:36 | 6519904 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Hey Chuck – thanks for the "analysis". Oh, and by the way, Iran hasn't invaded another country for over 200 years.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 22:06 | 6520926 chiswickcat
chiswickcat's picture

Nearly 400 years!

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:48 | 6519916 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

Listen up 'chucky'...[!]

Pakistan's 'Nuclear Program' was facilitated by Prince Turki/ Saeed Badeeb and Prince (aka BabdarBush?) Bandar, all from Saudi Arabia, the UAE with moocho GCC's contribuing. China also helped along with North Korea. Yes, even lowly North Korea!?!

AQ Khan sold hs nuclear supermarket throughout the ME and N.Africa. Iran never had a Nuclear Program other than for 'Medical [radio-active istopes with a very short half-life] Purposes'!

The United States under Carter's Brzezinski made a deal with the devil! And, so Reagan, Bush, and Clinton went along! All these administrations sold-out the country for the USSR's post dissolvement [1992] buying up all Russia energy satellites. The MIC also sold us out 'Big Tyme' by selling Pak's 'Sixty F-16s State of the Art flying death Machines'.

In 1998 Pakistan was an untouchable!!! A nuclear powerhouse, next door to the other nuclear powerhouse in the region-- India [think Kashmir?].

Ref:    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Barlow

http://www.historycommons.org/entity.jsp?entity=arthur_hughes_1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Pressler

http://fas.org/news/pakistan/1992/920731.htm 

and the grand finale:                    http://rawstory.com/news/2007/They_sold_out_world_for_F16_0426.html

and this was the preamble for "911"?!?    

connecting the dots...

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:40 | 6519919 adr
adr's picture

Chuck Norris is an example of believing in your own righteousness to a fault.

I see it in Churches all the time. Thinking that sending a missionary to Africa with $10k will change anything. That missionary will just create a situation where $20k will be needed the next time.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:50 | 6519949 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Church?  Why do you go to church?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:03 | 6520001 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

That's like asking a teenage boy why he masterbates.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:11 | 6520023 SmedleyButlersGhost
SmedleyButlersGhost's picture

A golfer 3 putting is like a teenager masturbating, he's embarrassed and ashamed, but he knows it will happen again.

(Almost makes me want to play golf)

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:59 | 6520169 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I guess we need a prayer then.  What do we have for that?  I am all out.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:16 | 6520035 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

To keep his urges from getting out of hand.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:43 | 6519931 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

As for the "Iran Deal."

For those that remember Zion's PNAC Rebuilding America's Defenses document of 2000, the following will ring a bell.

"Geopolitical analyst Tony Cartalucci mined a prescient quote from a June 2009 strategy paper produced by the Zionist-dominated Brookings Institution, an influential foreign policy think tank. The paper titled “Which Path to Persia? Options for a New American Strategy Toward Iran,” a virtual manifesto for regime change in Iran..."
http://www.intifada-palestine.com/2015/07/iran-deal-ploy-for-future-sabo...

I just love how these parasites of Zion keep using the phrase, "New American." "New" as in theirs?

Anyways, Cartalucci writes:

"The "nuclear deal," as it was planned to be all along, is a ruse. The 2013 article, "Nuclear Deal With Iran Prelude to War, Not "Breakthrough,"" in its entirety, explains:

...any military operation against Iran will likely be very unpopular around the world and require the proper international context—both to ensure the logistical support the operation would require and to minimize the blowback from it. The best way to minimize international opprobrium and maximize support (however, grudging or covert) is to strike only when there is a widespread conviction that the Iranians were given but then rejected a superb offer—one so good that only a regime determined to acquire nuclear weapons and acquire them for the wrong reasons would turn it down. Under those circumstances, the United States (or Israel) could portray its operations as taken in sorrow, not anger, and at least some in the international community would conclude that the Iranians “brought it on themselves” by refusing a very good deal."
http://landdestroyer.blogspot.ca/2015/07/warning-nuclear-deal-with-iran-...

Zion is a scheme, not an ethnicity..

 

Don't believe the hype, it's Zionist tripe.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:51 | 6519952 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

I thought it was Labor Day, not April Fools'.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 17:52 | 6519959 Dragon HAwk
Dragon HAwk's picture

 

Is it just me or is the Author/Source mysteriously missing..

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 21:18 | 6520728 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Usually when that happens it's an original piece from one of the Tylers.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:01 | 6519988 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

With the Pentagon and the US Military purging machismo in favor of supporting diversity through homosexual and transgender rights I would have thought Jade Helm would have involved a San Fransicko LGBT Gay Pride Parade from Laredo in the South to Dallas in the North and from Lake Charles in the East to Ft. Stockton in the West.

All hail our Luciferian homosexual pedophile overlords.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:07 | 6520012 frankly scarlet
frankly scarlet's picture

I say chuck this ignorrisamous as the people have important work to do to get things running correctly....mostly

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:09 | 6520016 StagStopa
StagStopa's picture

Chuck, call me baby.

Kik  cdroxi

Love, Roxi

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:13 | 6520026 bluez
bluez's picture

On some days, I feel pretty convinced that all the famous people, the actors, the politicians in DC, everybody who shows up in People magazine -- is living in an elaborately concocted giant bubble of fantasy.

Yeah the Giant Bubble of Fantasy? Created by the Illuminati programmers. They Live!

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:14 | 6520029 withglee
withglee's picture

Why did WTC7 fall down Chuck?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:33 | 6520093 AMPALANCE
AMPALANCE's picture

It wasn't the white Mossad vans with bomb residue, that's for sure. Anybody got a lighter?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:46 | 6520131 general ambivalent
general ambivalent's picture

So Chuck Norris is the true leader of America and Miss Piggy is the First Lady. No wonder things are on the up.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 18:55 | 6520158 loregnum
loregnum's picture

Fuck Chuck Norris. Who cares what he thinks?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:01 | 6520184 Hugh G. Rection
Hugh G. Rection's picture

Obama is a known liar scumbag. 

Clearly, he is getting $1billion in an unmarked Vatican account to do this. 

There can be no other reason.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:06 | 6520197 Tinky
Tinky's picture

The quality of your hypothesis is beautifully consistent with the level of sophistication of your screen name.

Well done.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:29 | 6520299 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Well said...is that "Tinky"?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:12 | 6520226 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

Chuck Norris?  Wow.  Fuck that douche.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 20:12 | 6520452 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

And furthermore, what's with all this Anti-Iran propaganda on ZH lately?

"Now that Jade Helm is set to end without incident, Chuck Norris is free to focus on even bigger threats to the American public than the military. Threats like Barack Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani, two like-minded despots who, as you might have heard, recently struck a deal that will soon see Tehran obtain enough nuclear firepower to wipe out a continent - or something. "

Clearly this is UTTER BULLSHIT.  I also love the association painted that Obama and Rouhani are even remotely related in the political sphere or have anything much to do with each other. And what makes Rouhani a threat to anyone in the Western world, and what exactly makes him a despot?  Clearly this (unnamed) author is either grossly uninformed or is a (somewhat) clever propagandist.

Also, what's up with this?:

"Obama’s “with the exception of the Israeli government” comment is not only a ginormous snub to our greatest ally in the Middle East but an affront to the fact that Israel has been threatened repeatedly with genocide by Iranian leaders."

OMG WHAT?!?!  Greatest Ally in the Middle East?  Wonder where I've heard that before!?!?! That propaganda line has been out since before I was born.  Surely the Hasbara could come up with some new line...surely?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 21:21 | 6520740 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

I took the first half of this piece as one of the Tylers setting up, in a broad tongue-in-cheek way, Chuck Norris' ridiculous screed.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:15 | 6520241 fowlerja
fowlerja's picture

Chuck's pictures reminds me of someone else who said.."Go ahead make my day..."

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:16 | 6520245 To Infinity And...
To Infinity And Beyond's picture

Chuck,

No shit sherlock. That's the whole point.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:18 | 6520251 coast
coast's picture

whats up chuck?   "upchuck", get it?  ah never mind.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:18 | 6520256 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Chuck Norris another goddam Christer asshole who thinks he owns the world 

Fuck that son of a bitch

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:28 | 6520295 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Jesus Christ, whom you do not know and blaspheme many times does not go unnoticed by the Him who will judge you.  When this King judges; all will agree with his decision..especially the ones on whom that judgment is passed upon.

 

I have seen no bigger fool on ZH than you.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:34 | 6520311 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Fuck off ,dipshit and shove your fucking Buybull up your ass sideways.

Grow a brain.

Stop believing in fairytales.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:41 | 6520330 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Tell me if you know; how did the universe come into existence?  Now who is the dummy?

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:44 | 6520341 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

The universe has ALWAYS existed and its  LIMITLESS

You are the dummy.

BIG TIME.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:48 | 6520359 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

Thank you; just wanted to confirm your faith; it is indeed greater than mine.  For that belief is based on nothing and that takes great faith.

 

But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold.  They said to you, "In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires."

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:46 | 6520356 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Okay according to what YOU believe.. some guy in the sky created the universe and before that he was bored from playing golf everyday,

As I said., GROW  a BRAIN and do NOT be afraid to THINK.

I know that you are told to JUST ''believe''  I studied the Buybull inside out and went to Christian school for 12 years.

I woke up in Vietnam.  under fire.   There ARE atheists in foxholes. Lots of us.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 20:02 | 6520406 bluez
bluez's picture

 

The universe was created by Chuck Norris. Unfortunately for Chuck, he was working for Bill Gates at the time, so all the proceeds went for some vaccine in Africa.

Chuck said it, I believe it. That's the end of it. But I am planning no trips to Africa.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:36 | 6520315 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Hey Chuck asswipe

Iran hasn't attacked anyone in 250 years

Meanwhile your ZioNazi buddies in Israel are committing slow genocide and theft and have NUKES.

And your goddam country has killed wel over 10 million innocent people since 1960.

Chuck your one fucking brain cells needs a high kick jump start.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:49 | 6520361 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thats odd, you claimed to be a Vietnam vet last night, you kill anyone  "for your country" over there tiger or did you just play a "supporting role" that you then parlayed into your Techie Tech aircraft job on the tarmac of Amsterdam?

By the way, Mr.Techie Tech tech, I seem to recall MH17 started out from Amsterdam...lol.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:42 | 6520333 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Crocodile. 

If you support bullying and wars of aggression than the payback to you will be HELL.

Same goes for Chuck Norris.  NOT after you die but in THIS LIFETIME.

Have a nice day.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:20 | 6520263 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Lots of knuckle dragging Buybull thumper think Chuck is Jesus Fucking Christ.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:24 | 6520274 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Hey Chuck asswipe

Iran hasn't attacked anyone in 250 years

Meanwhile your ZioNazi buddies in Israel are committing slow genocide and theft and have NUKES.

And your goddam country has killed wel over 10 million innocent people since 1960.

Chuck your one fucking brain cells needs a high kick jump start.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 22:54 | 6521111 SquadronVBF94
SquadronVBF94's picture

Tell that to all the innocent Parisians killed by Iranian bomb attacks because the deposed Shah went there for medical treatment. Your hero died in a bunker in Berlin in 1945. But maybe you and your stupid skinhead pals have built a new one in a basement in Kansas somewhere. It's. A wonder you can type with one hand while you pull your puts with the other.

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 02:58 | 6521501 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Piss off you shit or brains wanker.

Skinheads are Jarhead marines.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:25 | 6520281 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Give this redneck shithead a rifle and send him over to Tehran.  Good riddance,

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 19:50 | 6520366 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Hey Chuck

If you repeat a lie often enough you believe it

You and your knuckle dragging fans are DANGEROUS people.

 

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 20:29 | 6520518 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

While I respect chuck and generally agree with his sentiment I must say that comparing Iran to the USA and calling us the terrorist is good for a laugh. When was the last time Iran invaded anyone, the last time I believe was during the Persian empire in the 1700s when they invaded India.

Iran may do some shit but objectively the USA is the very definition of a rogue terrorist state and the most far reaching and powerful one in history at that.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 20:50 | 6520593 pot_and_kettle
pot_and_kettle's picture

Gonna start preaching:  Seagal > Norris

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 21:25 | 6520756 jcdenton
jcdenton's picture

Chuck, you're getting old and I probably can kick your ass myself. I was in Marines during the development stages of MARSOC. Apparently you have lost brain cells as well ..

I think you need to direct your energies towards Tel Aviv and Haifa, rather than Tehran. You are a transplanted Texan. On my mom's side, we go back to 1836. On my dad's side, we were the original owners of Spindletop until Lucas swindled us out for Standard Oil. I'm a Junker. I'm blood related to Otto Von Bismarck. Ol' Otto was pretty sharp. He did recognize true perps when he saw them ..

http://tuppersaussy.com/museum/html/writings/articles/dialvol1no1.html

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 22:16 | 6520970 ozzzzo
ozzzzo's picture

Bruce Lee kicked Chuck Norris's ass.

Mon, 09/07/2015 - 22:20 | 6520984 OneHorseCarriage
OneHorseCarriage's picture

Please wait until Mr. Norris has something sensible to say before posting this nonsense.

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 04:15 | 6521557 fr0thing
fr0thing's picture

Go Chuck!

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 05:42 | 6521598 mendolover
mendolover's picture

Anyone who is a darling of Fox News, especially Fox and Friends can't be trusted.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!