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How To Beat Every Hedge Fund in Just 2 Trades & 4 Hours A Day
Forget Risk-Parity... ignore volatility-targeting... Risk management is for losers, value-investing is for dummies, and chasing momentum is for suckers... The path to successful trading in the new normal is easy... and involves just 4 simple steps...
Step 1: Put on Pants;
Step 2: Buy S&P 500 Futures at Midnight ET;
Step 3: Sell S&P 500 Futures at 4amET;
Step 4: Go back to bed...
Probably the most stunning chart we have ever seen - note the red line's performance - minimal drawdown, maximal return...
h/t @NanexLLC
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Or you can just buy some high yielding equities right now which are being overlooked in favor of crappy social media companies, and you can stay in bed with your pants off.
What's the point of Step 1?
So, basically short the open, buy the close. Hire me please.
Thank God the market isn't manipulated!
I sort of took 2004 off, so that I could trade my own book, without pants, over an obscely slow and obscenely high priced satellite connection, from a bunch of amazing resorts and beaches that I realisitcly never would made the time to visit otherwise...
Step 1 (and thus step 4) is optional.
bonus (if you need to hit 0000-0400 EST) - you can adjust your location and timezone so that trading rigged markets doesn't interefere with the freeflowing hookers and booze (mixing them is not wise)... or screw with your sleep.
Well done for managing to stay off the blow.
haha, thanks for that.
will this work after ww3 starts this weekend?
Hawaii put on the trade before dinner, close it after dinner and go to bed--golf all day.
even better get someone to write you an algo and do what they have to do to let the thing run automatically. then do it from anywhere.
oops, thats already being done by the 2 and 20.
Step 4 is actually "Take off Pants" or else step 1 never happens again.
You must be a software engineer. I spotted that logic bug too
So that your woman is required to exercise step 4 when you get back into bed...unless you're that Jeffrey Talpins of Element Capital in which case you want to lock those pants so that thing doesn't try any funky stuff.
that's just to check if the Underpants Gnomes are front-running you that day
"Or you can just buy some high yielding equities"
as an inveterate non-investor may I ask.....like what?
HCP, PM, GSK, SO, PPL, SE, MAT, BMR ... and on and on...
before or after the next washout...isn't the cat still bouncing?
Can ZH provide a TradeStation strategy report for this? I need to see the average win/loss ratio...wait is this from Gartman's newsletter?
If it was that simple a Computer could do it....
pants part might be a little tough though
That's how they filter out machine trades... /s
If you moved half way around the world, you could wake up at 10am and finish work by lunch.
I"m usually up at midnight still, and wake up around 4 o'clock to go pee. So, I could do this...
I'm in.
Oh great, thanks for giving away the secret formula for FREE. :-( I suppose next you're going to tell us the BTFD strategy. Ooops, did I say that out loud?
Yeah its easy to make money in a bull market.
Everyone knows my device will revolutionize trading on Wall Street ...
(it might introduce temporal noise)
(and cause the universe to collapse)
(but Goldman-Sachs will fund it)
(they don't give a shit)
http://iamsully.com/?p=5865
a little investor cash and an IPO. bit of marketing, and your rich. doesn't haveto work man, just has to sound real good, and it does. write the book man..
Should have written the book. Too late now though...
The Peripheral by William GibsonOr own gold only when the European markets are open and the US "markets" are closed.
Congratulations - you win this contest hands down. This strategy has worked for years if not decades.
Buy gold when US markets open and sell after they close
I need to get hammered tonight.
#timezonesmatter
i get up at 4 a.m. but staying awake until midnight is a non starter
Why not just say be the BOJ?
The last time the 'Entire Day' caught '12am-4am', was just before Lehman. Which is where it's now back to.
Good observation.
Is there an ETF for this?? The daily NAV would be pretty easy to calculate, so the operating cost would be cheap and could be run by trained monkeys...
Step1: Sit up in bed and open laptop lid.
You mean you don't have a tablet embedded into your thigh?
That's some nice work, Tylers.
This is because it would be where most gov't futures would be bought to get the maximum bang for the buck.
GREAT!!......YOU JUST MADE LARRY FINK VERY VERY ANGRY!! THERE GOES BLACKROCK'S SECRET TO THE ULTIMATE IN MARKET MANIPULATION!!!
Very low liquidity during that middle-of-the-night period
Hey! i sleep in the basement below ma & pa, you sure 3 is legal?
As evidenced by the chart, this year has been one for the 4pm - midnight long trade.
Essentially though, this is smart money stop hunting shorts and forced covering employing limited capital
Nice work if you can get it.
Jerk off to porn 4+ hours a day, helps you keep focussed on what really matters; go back to bed wake up to porn as you can't afford the real thing. Get a disability check, play scratch off tickets, watch Maury Povich and Jerry Springer and think how fortunate you are to not be their losers.....
Step one is optional.
given that there was a 1-4 pm bias in the early years prior to the GFC followed by a 12 to 4 am post the crash, it ought to be easy enough to track down the individuals responsible for market ramps.
ps. why not extend the analogy to a long/short portfolio over time periods and short the green and orange lines. you will then be able to name the big swinging dick round tripping day traders who rip everyones face off. i dont think eccles cakes would mind.
I can never get past step one!
awe it's easier than that, just fade cramer and gartman, it's a win win
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So the question is "Who's driving this market?" Gotta be buyer's and sellerz.
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