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Humpday Humor: Fox News Anchor Sues For "Emotional Damage" Over Toy She 'Thinks' Looks Like Her

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by SM Gibson via TheAntiMedia.org,

Stop. Take a deep breath…Okay, are you sitting down? What you are about to read is real — far too real. For the sake of humanity, I would love to tell you that the following paragraphs were constructed as satire meant to mock a mainstream mouthpiece who regurgitates a corporate agenda for a living. Sadly, this story isn’t satire.

One topic both the right and left have begun to exceedingly agree upon in recent years is that anchors, pundits, and the various players in “oldstream” media are no more to be trusted than a man adorned with a pencil thin mustache, top hat, flowing cape, and a nagging habit with which to tie genteel damsels up to train tracks. No matter who you think is the most vitriolic newsperson today, when it comes to pure absurdity, one Fox News anchor has recently surpassed the insanity of her colleagues and officially jumped the shark.

Harris Faulkner, co-host of Outnumbered on Fox News and anchor of Fox Report Weekend, is suing toy manufacturer Hasbro for five million dollars because she claims a plastic hamster in the Littlest Pet Shop line they produce infringes on her likeness.

The lawsuit, which was filed in a New Jersey district court, is claiming  Harris has suffered “commercial and emotional damage” over the children’s toy.

The name given to the little canary colored inanimate rodent by Hasbro designers is in fact Harris Faulkner, but that is where the similarities end — at least to anyone with a functioning brain.

As for Faulkner and her legal team, they believe — according to court documents — that the harmless toy bears a “physical resemblance” to the award-winning journalist, specifically its complexion, make-up design, and eye shape.

While no one at the Anti-Media can either confirm or deny that the Fox news anchor is constructed of plastic, she certainly is not yellow with gigantic blue eyes…or a hamster with a butterfly in her hair.

It would also appear that Mrs. Faulkner believes she is the only person on the planet legally allowed to posses her name.

Her lawyers state:

“Harris Faulkner, the uniquely named, acclaimed veteran journalist and author, has worked for decades to establish and maintain her personal brand and laudable professional reputation.”

 

“(Hasbro) willfully and wrongfully appropriated Faulkner’s unique and valuable name and distinctive persona for its own financial gain,”
they added.

The suit also claims the television host is “extremely distressed” due to the “choking hazard” risk the toy bearing her namesake poses to children.

Hasbro has pulled the toy from its online store, but the product is still available to purchase on various other websites.

 

 

The silver lining is that if you’ve been in search of information regarding world affairs delivered by a news anchor who also thinks she is a hamster, you need look no further.

 

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Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:33 | 6528001 Salsa Verde
Salsa Verde's picture

Lifestyles of the self-important...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528021 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

That toy is probably smart enough to replace that presstitute!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:40 | 6528033 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Nah, the doll is WAY better looking- case dismissed....

Then again, if she can prove that SHE doesn't have a "choking hazard",  then I'm interested.....

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:41 | 6528057 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Imagine how many nuts that hampster could fit in its mouth!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:44 | 6528060 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Blued-eyed, yellow, plastic hamster?

Her lawyer should really look at these folks as a defendent...

TY big eye plush toys soft brown monkey

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:45 | 6528085 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Das speciest!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:51 | 6528136 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I have a giraffe doll that looks something like that, but i don't need to sued over it to prove a point.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:03 | 6528221 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

acclaimed veteran journalist and author, has worked for decades to
establish and maintain her personal brand and laudable professional
reputation

And it's gone.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:05 | 6528231 pods
pods's picture

Does the toy have an Adam's Apple like that "woman?"

pods

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:09 | 6528269 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

 

That toy dindu nuffin.

He a good toy.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:24 | 6528367 greenskeeper carl
greenskeeper carl's picture

Winning^^

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:35 | 6528402 MalteseFalcon
MalteseFalcon's picture

The name given to the toy is: "Littlest Pet Shop LPS Benson Detwyler Harris Faulkner Pawsabilities" This is the problem.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:44 | 6528466 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

I broke a toof laughing so hard.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:22 | 6528655 TongueStun
TongueStun's picture

Who knew FOX had a Minority Recruitment Goal, Diversity Mandate, and Racial Hiring quotas?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:41 | 6528730 caconhma
caconhma's picture

Thanks to Zionist Banking Mafia that controls  mass media and deliberately destroys this country, the USA  is doomed. Somehow, I don't feel sorry any more. 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:03 | 6528808 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

This is where Larry Flynt comes out with the stripper hood prostitute doll named Harris Faulkner who comes with a book of free Obama food stamps.

Hustler magizine sells 75 million additional copies.

Where's Larry?

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 00:30 | 6530040 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

although i hesitate to counter a handle as evocative and beloved as maltese falcon (the stuff dreams are made on), in the interests of precision accuracy and to look good to the many adorable ten year old female lurkers here, a distinction must be made: https://www.google.com/search?q=Benson+Detwyler&client=safari&rls=en&tbm...

you see, the hamster harris faulkner is the pet of the terrier benson detwyler.  what exactly pet means between two domesticated species is up for discussion.  one does own pets though.  perhaps an addendum to the suit should be prepared citing the sordid history of slavery in the americas.  

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:09 | 6528592 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

The bimbo is delusional. She's nowhere as cute as the toy...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:17 | 6529105 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

^^

Please promote to top of page.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 03:05 | 6530274 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

So, if she were to get down and crawl around on all fours, I do indeed see a resemblance... :>D

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:12 | 6528272 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

@hedgeless_horseman

A monkey doll since she's black.. how original and witty.  Hard to belive the tylers gave an unoriginal racist douchebag posting rights.  but you did get a lot of upvotes.

congrats.

douche.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:13 | 6528297 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

And you'll be getting downvotes for your anti-free speech libtard bullshit.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:21 | 6528338 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

I've been getting downvoted here for 5 years + and could give a shit less.  It takes no brain to go that route for insults on this lady.  I thought she might get a pass from you dolts since she's "Fox news approved"

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:54 | 6528519 LasVegasDave
Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:06 | 6528818 g speed
g speed's picture

thanks for the link Dave----LMAO   ----chimpologist indeed ---

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:11 | 6528608 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Since you seem to like it, have some more !

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:50 | 6528756 caconhma
caconhma's picture

BKbroiler,

Zionist "science" claims that a man evolved from a monkey. In your case, the evolution went into reverse reaching a feebleminded stage of development.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:02 | 6528802 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

We all know Zionist science is nonsense.  Man was created by the enormous invisible man in one fell swoop.  All similarities in appearance, symmetry, and enviornmental adaptation to other species is purely coincidental.  God was like "Bam" and Adam came out.  Thank god he had an extra rib or he'd be jerking off for millenia.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:32 | 6529141 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I don't get it...what does having an extra rib have to do with being married?

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 00:39 | 6530086 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

mr. broiler.  i see some logical flaws in your reasoning.  if he was jerking off for "millenia" how did he reproduce past one generation? hmm?

also even if there hadn't been the extra rib, god had a backup plan: get a wife from the same place cain got his (east of eden, where he could hang out with james dean).  in a pinch, try the place where noah's sons found wives.  where there's a will there's a way.

at least you knew zionist science was nonsense.  there's that.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:15 | 6528856 Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

Couldn't  FFS ... couldn't care less or couldn't give a shit.  If you could care less it means you still care a measureable amount. It does not make sense in the context used.

 

Example: I couldn't care less if Black skinned people instantly assume effigy whenever they see a toy monkey and proceed to acuse every child with a stuffed toy monkey of racism.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:34 | 6529127 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

you're right, there's absolutely no racist connotation when a white texan famer posts a picture of a stuffed monkey and refers to their resemblance to a black newscaster.

I'm not captain morals over here, I live a heathen life.  But racism is for pussies, and veiled racism by anonymous internet tough guys is pathetic.  I usually have no prob with the horseman, but when he uses his posting rights to further that kind of thinking then I like to fuck with him.  If racism is fair game then so is everything I can throw back at him.

Oh, and about that last part, I'm white.  

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 00:55 | 6530111 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

i'm sorry mr. broiler but i'm going to have to help gang up on you again.  you did seem to slide into that "could care less" logical inconsistancy you were cited for (logic is my specialty).  also you used "their" as a pronoun for monkey (grammar another).  then you use pussies like it's a bad thing, then you call hedgeless's racism veiled, which is a stretch, then you say if racism is fair game, which means it can be shot, figuratively speaking, which sort of contradicts your then statement which wouldn't need to be made were racism fair game.  right?

though for pluck you are a credit to your race.

 

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 07:53 | 6530502 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

America was a better place with:

homos in the closet;

women in the home;

negroes in the fields.

You know I'm right. You're angry because you won't allow yourself to admit it. 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:16 | 6528300 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Google image search big eye toy and tell us which one most, "infringes on her likeness."  It sure isn't the blue-eyed yellow hamster.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:16 | 6528320 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Nice backpedaling try.  Let me image search "bitter old white guy on a farm" and see if I can find you.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:26 | 6528376 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Looking good Hedgeless. The Mrs. must be pleased!

;-)

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fb/23/e3/fb23e32bd184aea40605b...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:29 | 6528394 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

yeah, every time I call you on your bullshit you have to post something about your dick.  Sounds like penis envy.  Maybe Mrs. Horseman likes the black snake.  I'm sure you were quite the stud during Eisenhour's tenure though. 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:35 | 6528403 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Dick?

Penis?

Black snake?

Stud?

Where is your mind?  I thought we were talking about old white farmers? 

But hey, if you are into that homo stuff, fine by me.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:38 | 6528422 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Hey, you're the one who brought up dicks.  Last thing I wanted was to hear about yours.  

Shame your wife's ZH debut post failed miserably, along with your "horseman training camp" fiasco.  At least they let you keep posting rights.  They took mine away last time I called out a ZH poster for their racist bullshit, let's see if I've crossed the line again.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:41 | 6528437 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Hey, you're the one who brought up dicks.

Stop it.  I did not.  You're verbalizing your fantasies again.

I know that you are very jealous of my wife, but let's leave her out of this.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:45 | 6528473 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Totally jealous, based on your food pics I'm guessing yours can cook better than mine.  I'm just a sucker for firm tits I guess.

Isn't this fun?  It's like old times, Hedge...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:49 | 6528993 Bob
Bob's picture

I knew this sounded familiar.  Yeah, just like old times!

I feel for you on the food . . . I'd envy his wife's cooking if my gf weren't also great in the kitchen.  Hell, with much more exotic stuff, too. 

But the firm tits . . . that wasn't very nice!  I'm guessing you got us both there.  Congrats on those!

This thread is hilarious, though.  Nice to see a good fight now and then. 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 20:11 | 6529244 83_vf_1100_c
83_vf_1100_c's picture

Hmm, nice mid-week dust up although the dick part maybe went on a bit long. I'm not taking sides about whose (who's?) dick is bigger but Hedge won if you are a vote counter. And if I may, BK, maybe lighten up on the hatred of racists perveived or real. It is petty unless directed at a serial offender and even then, they usually run themselves off. Just cuz someone types nigger does not make them racist. It is just the current MSM driven cause and there are much worse things going on in the world than racial prejudice. jmo

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:03 | 6530122 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

it's whose. who's means who is.  

and there is so much worse going on than racial prejudice.  

like all the rich people taking all of the money from the poorer people.  like all of the powerful people putting the powerless ones in jail.  like all of the well armed people bombing the poorly armed ones.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:47 | 6528481 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

I have heard yours is a meany in a cock fight...undefeated. Now I know why!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:24 | 6528366 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

If I do a right click on your avatar and choose Search Google for this image, I get a link to..

Dog Whistle Racism

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:26 | 6528383 jcaz
jcaz's picture

God, I admire you, BKbroiler- you're so... edgy.....  Now drop some fries for me,  chop chop.

Wait... Throw in a Whopper with that, too-  go.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:28 | 6528386 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

BK,

Perhaps you are lost.

Let me help.

Ahhh.. yes.

See, you turned hard right into the Fight Club, a very dangerous place for the faint of heart.

My recommendation is for you to back up nice and slooooow with your hand visible.

When you reach the edge of the illumination zone, run.

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:55 | 6528622 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Oh, do tell me more about Fight Club, sir.  Does it look like a Nascar rally?  Will there be overweight, sunburnt, coors light drinking, confederate hat donning, chain smoking, Dale Gribble types for me to look up to?   Will they be mumbling shit about the good old days when colored folk didn't talk back?  It sounds like a magical place, I'm thinking something like this:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/75662964@N00/19842128035/in/dateposted-pub...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:07 | 6529079 cornedmutton
cornedmutton's picture

Looks like a fun party.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:06 | 6530126 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

that coors light reference was a little below the belt but understandable considering the degree to which you are, apparently, outnumbered.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:12 | 6529094 Crisismode
Crisismode's picture

 

 

Jim Kunstler . . .

 

is that you?

 

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:39 | 6528440 Salsa Verde
Salsa Verde's picture

They can help you.

http://theperiodstore.com

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:40 | 6528447 tarheeler
tarheeler's picture

@ bkbroiler get off your soapbox, or watermelon box whatever you choose to stand on when you troll a financial blog and spew your divisive racism.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:51 | 6528503 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

"get off your... watermelon box.. when you..spew your divisive racism"

Nice work.  Yes, I'll get off my watermelon box when I want to spew racism.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:10 | 6530135 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

this is a financial blog.  we are discussing hot black fox "news"casters and littlest pet shops.  get serious and back on topic.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:45 | 6528474 Salah
Salah's picture

This is much better; the "Ferguson Games"

http://safeshare.tv/w/FvVTVikOSz

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 21:14 | 6529443 Stay Frosty
Stay Frosty's picture

I’ll make it 90 ‘thumbs down’.  I recall Ms. Faulkner’s stint here in the Kansas City area at WDAF (Channel 4 FOX) throughout the 90s.  The locals seemed agreeable to her rise to the national stage – wherever the platform.  The comments here, in response to her action, or more appropriate those of her ‘handlers’ and the Network however, speak to the core of this angst, anger and absolute disdain we hold against American elitism, narcissism and self-importance.  Know thy enemy sir.  It may not be Ms. Faulkner directly, but most assuredly what she represents.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 21:26 | 6529485 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:18 | 6528336 OMG
OMG's picture

I'm betting that chick has a dick

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:48 | 6528496 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

I bet she's Megan Kelley's drinking partner. Both very frustrated femdoms.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:06 | 6528241 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

Her face radiates stupidity ... so a perfect anchor.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:48 | 6528486 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

I never thought she was an affirmative action hire but...you have to wonder after this type of a lawsuit.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 08:04 | 6530525 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Consult the AAAAAAALPO Rule:

Always Assume Africans in America Are Affirmative Action Less Proven Otherwise.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:47 | 6528102 NoPension
NoPension's picture

Is that a " Don Lemon"?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:05 | 6528237 Ms No
Ms No's picture

Holy shit that's funny!  I think it is.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:50 | 6528131 centerline
centerline's picture

Obama?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:51 | 6528139 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

No.  It is a doll.  Obama is a puppet.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:57 | 6528147 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Yep! All those Presstitute Media Zombie Actors, I mean anchors have that Drone / Deer Caught in MK ULTRA headlights look.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:02 | 6528220 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I'm sticking with my Jihad Johnny! He's a better sport and has much more potential. Better yet, despite all he's been thru with isis, he has no chip on his shoulder.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:03 | 6528224 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

Maybe the plastic hamster should sue her...........

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:15 | 6528627 Cosmicserpent
Cosmicserpent's picture

Or poles up its ass...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:33 | 6528413 robertsgt40
robertsgt40's picture

Yup. Spittin image. She looks just like a fkg hamster.  I would suggest the similarities stop there.  The hamster has class.  

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:45 | 6528475 wildeblogger
wildeblogger's picture

Are we talking about choking on the doll or her news?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528028 MarketTruth
MarketTruth's picture

There is a likeness. Neither one has a brain.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:41 | 6528049 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

In a country where a buffoon as Donald Trump can become a serious contender as presidential nominee, anything is possible.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:44 | 6528075 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

In Scandinavia, where I am from, anything is also possible. Including the importation of tens of thousands subhuman Muslim assholes. The rate of violent crime has gone up so much in Sweden during the last 25 years that in beginning in 2013, the risk of getting murdered officially became larger than the risk of dying in traffic.

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:46 | 6528090 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Dang, and you guys have Volvos.....

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:49 | 6528105 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

Volvo Cars is now owned by a Chinese company. The cars are still made in Sweden.....but the compnay is owned by China. Volvo Trucks is still Swedish.

Sweden, Norway, Denmark - I have lived and worked in them all. It takes a special kind of stupid to voluntarily give up your country to violent muslims.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:51 | 6528133 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Not really-  try electing one President and then talk to us.....

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:55 | 6528161 Syrin
Syrin's picture

Eaxctly, except we don't really have elections anymore.  No one counts votes.   The ballot boxes have been stuffed for two years now

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:05 | 6528234 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Sweden really built its street cred by awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to the 21st Century's Greatest Drone Master.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:23 | 6528361 sodbuster
sodbuster's picture

I'd really like to add a comment about how stupid our leaders/ electorate is, but the truth is, it's by design, by TPTB. However, most of the electorate is pretty stupid.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:44 | 6528463 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Hey Ewick,

You better find a lawyer.

These corporate facists are using your wife's pic to line their capitalist pockets.

http://www.chicagonow.com/ndigo-chit-chat-all-that/files/2014/10/aunt_je...

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:58 | 6528541 JungleCat
JungleCat's picture

Norway awards the Nobel peace prize, but I take your point. They gave the peace prize to Arafat, but not Gandhi. And to DroneMaster Obama. The nomination dealine was February 1, so I guess the nominator based their decision on less than two weeks of work as president. Full libtard regression analysis required to fathom that kind of shit.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:19 | 6530146 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

arafat and menachem begin (it got better; he is after all one of the pioneers of false flag terrorism)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_David_Hotel_bombing

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:13 | 6528299 Selly2k
Selly2k's picture

Who bombed the moslem countries that made them come there? For every action, there is a reaction. Srop whinning.

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:21 | 6530148 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

it wasn't sweden but your point is well taken.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:51 | 6528135 kiwigal
kiwigal's picture

Better go and spread the word to Iceland they are willingly going to take in a lot. So naive.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:59 | 6528194 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Liar, liar, Ewik says no one was raped or otherwise harmed by the importation of the superior brown overlords.. You take that back or ewik will whimper like a little biaatch..

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:01 | 6528796 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I get the impresson you think sub-human and Muslim are the same thing.

If so, that makes you the asshole.

 

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 01:26 | 6530159 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

i see your downvotes are winning.  i'll bet rather he thinks of them more in boolean algebraic terms, the euler circle sub-human larger and encircling the smaller one muslims.  that may not change the conclusion though.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:46 | 6528094 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Truth really is stranger than fiction after all!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:52 | 6528512 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

My suit against Ford is still winding its way thru the courts. They had no right to name a car after my son without his/my permission; Javier "Pinto" Gonzales.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:50 | 6528132 liverdiefree
liverdiefree's picture

Ditto for a country that can choose a narcissistic communist ideologue, pathological liar, and all around imbecile whose past remains hidden for president. 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:43 | 6528432 Sturm und Drang
Sturm und Drang's picture

But wait - there's more!

That's right, John McAfee for president. If he gets elected, you'll pay hell getting him out.

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:46 | 6528093 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So if sales of the toy go up - will it be racism, sexism, or a compliment?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:53 | 6528765 Caleb Abell
Caleb Abell's picture

So if hasbro's advertising of any toy on any FOX media outlet stays above zero, will it be a miracle?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:59 | 6528198 SethDealer
SethDealer's picture

if the toy were a monkey I would understand her suffering

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:08 | 6528261 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

How stupid can anyone be???

Outfoxed by a rubber duck!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:54 | 6528520 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

The story is really more about the personal traits of the attorney advising Ms. Faulkner...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 17:22 | 6528656 Chris Dakota
Chris Dakota's picture

"My case! My case" it's all I hear all day long.

Now even news anchors need a case.

Fire her

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:27 | 6529126 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

as in basket case

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:33 | 6528006 Ms No
Ms No's picture

Hah, she self identifies as a hamster.   

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:04 | 6528229 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Your muthair was a hamster and your fazzair smelled of elderberries.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:19 | 6528314 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

"You empty-headed, animal food-trough whapper"

 

"Fetchez la vache!"

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 19:28 | 6529128 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

a hamster hamsterbates

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:33 | 6528007 bcups
bcups's picture

Let's see her on all fours.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528024 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Pass.  I'd fuck the hamster first.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:55 | 6528164 atomp
atomp's picture

Armageddon!!!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 20:35 | 6529303 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

i bet you would you dirty hamster fucker

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:34 | 6528009 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

TILT...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528012 Kaniption
Kaniption's picture

 

 

im filing a co-defendant lawsuit.

 

obviously stealing my image

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:40 | 6528054 Ms No
Ms No's picture

I'm not trying to piss you off but your avatar looks  like he self identifies as a transgender homey the clown.  I feel that this is microaggression towards people who liked homey the way he was, myself included.  I feel you have left me no choice but to persue litigation, 15 million should cover it.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:35 | 6528013 Kaniption
Kaniption's picture

i press enter once- ZH double posts me..

 

yawn

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:38 | 6528043 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Not to worry. We'll make up for it by double down voting you.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:44 | 6528073 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

get the fuck out then you whining pussy

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:18 | 6528330 Tarshatha
Tarshatha's picture

Don't worry, I never read it either time.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:35 | 6528019 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I have no words.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:38 | 6528044 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

I do.

DUMB CUNT!

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:39 | 6528045 centerline
centerline's picture

Ironically, she just fucked herself.  She will never, ever live this down.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:39 | 6528051 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

God, I hope you're right.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:49 | 6528116 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Hope late night tv picks this up. That be some funny shit right there.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:49 | 6528121 Skateboarder
Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:54 | 6528154 centerline
centerline's picture

If she is this arrogant and made it onto TV, someone she pissed off along the way is likely buying a crapload of these little things.  Oh, the fun in where they might show up from time to time.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:35 | 6528020 The Shape
The Shape's picture

Fucking lunatic.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528022 10mm
10mm's picture

How the fuck do you come up with a name Harris Faulkner for a toy hamster. Who the fuck comes up with this shit.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:42 | 6528039 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It was between that name, Vince Foster and Budd Dwyer.  

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:50 | 6528126 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Or perhaps Toy the Hamster.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:50 | 6528130 10mm
10mm's picture

Budd Dwyer, a Penna legend of 44mag use.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:50 | 6528124 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

Someone who thinks Harris Faulkner is a total flake. There is certainly nothing I can think of that would support such a notion. Well, other than she apparently thinks she is a hamster.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:56 | 6528170 kiwigal
kiwigal's picture

If they change the hair colour to strawberry blond, lost the eyelashes it could be Donald T.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:01 | 6528211 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

Somebody at Hasbro was having some fun.  Honestly I'm with her on this one it does share her likeness.  She wouldn't have noticed if Hasbro named it something else.  I'm not with her suing for damages.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:34 | 6528417 Occams_Chainsaw
Occams_Chainsaw's picture

They were gonna go with Ritchard Gere but then remembered that was for the new gerbil toy and not the hamster.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:06 | 6528795 Bob
Bob's picture

It would appear that she may be the only Harris Faulkner in the US, however:

http://www.peoplefinders.com/search/searchpreview.aspx?searchtype=people...

Pretty unique name. 

Using the same tool, I find there are actually shitloads of Donald Trumps in the US:

http://www.peoplefinders.com/search/searchpreview.aspx?searchtype=people...

Any doubt that he would be suing?  I'd probably sue too, if I were either of them. 

You oughta get paid for somebody commercially exploiting your name.  If you don't own that--if that ain't your property--what the fuck is?

All the cucklin', shuckin' and jivin' aside, I think Hasbro fucked up here.

Let's get real: Even a fucking color of paint called "Donald Trump" don't fly.  Seriously. 

It ain't about the fucking color.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 20:40 | 6529319 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

cause the name flem snopes was already taken?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528025 ZeroSense
ZeroSense's picture

I was shocked until I realized it was FOX "NEWS"

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 18:09 | 6528830 Bob
Bob's picture

Likewise.  They're as bad as Barry Obola to me.  But I'm with their fucked up anchor, here.  Hasbro used her . . . wait for it . . . full name

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:36 | 6528027 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

Why doesn't she do a hit in Playboy ? Or sorry National Geographic would be more appropriate

 

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:58 | 6528184 MrPalladium
MrPalladium's picture

Ouch!! :)

BTW that comment dates you, You must have read the magazine back in the 1950s and early 60s.

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:59 | 6528201 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Whoa!    Dats wayciss

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:37 | 6528030 Automatic Choke
Automatic Choke's picture

14 minutes and 58 seconds.....59 seconds.....

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:37 | 6528032 Perimetr
Perimetr's picture

Are anatomically correct models available?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 16:05 | 6528204 J Jason Djfmam
J Jason Djfmam's picture

You're looking for a toy with a real looking hamster vagina?

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:38 | 6528035 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Hasbro should sue her for damaging sales of their hampster...

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:39 | 6528048 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

token nubian with simian brain, seems like a great gig

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 15:39 | 6528050 AlfredNeumann
AlfredNeumann's picture

Isn't there a porn site called Hamster???

 

Wed, 09/09/2015 - 21:28 | 6529500 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

like you don't know    :oD

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