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Humpday Humor: Fox News Anchor Sues For "Emotional Damage" Over Toy She 'Thinks' Looks Like Her
Submitted by SM Gibson via TheAntiMedia.org,
Stop. Take a deep breath…Okay, are you sitting down? What you are about to read is real — far too real. For the sake of humanity, I would love to tell you that the following paragraphs were constructed as satire meant to mock a mainstream mouthpiece who regurgitates a corporate agenda for a living. Sadly, this story isn’t satire.
One topic both the right and left have begun to exceedingly agree upon in recent years is that anchors, pundits, and the various players in “oldstream” media are no more to be trusted than a man adorned with a pencil thin mustache, top hat, flowing cape, and a nagging habit with which to tie genteel damsels up to train tracks. No matter who you think is the most vitriolic newsperson today, when it comes to pure absurdity, one Fox News anchor has recently surpassed the insanity of her colleagues and officially jumped the shark.
Harris Faulkner, co-host of Outnumbered on Fox News and anchor of Fox Report Weekend, is suing toy manufacturer Hasbro for five million dollars because she claims a plastic hamster in the Littlest Pet Shop line they produce infringes on her likeness.
The lawsuit, which was filed in a New Jersey district court, is claiming Harris has suffered “commercial and emotional damage” over the children’s toy.
The name given to the little canary colored inanimate rodent by Hasbro designers is in fact Harris Faulkner, but that is where the similarities end — at least to anyone with a functioning brain.
As for Faulkner and her legal team, they believe — according to court documents — that the harmless toy bears a “physical resemblance” to the award-winning journalist, specifically its complexion, make-up design, and eye shape.
While no one at the Anti-Media can either confirm or deny that the Fox news anchor is constructed of plastic, she certainly is not yellow with gigantic blue eyes…or a hamster with a butterfly in her hair.
It would also appear that Mrs. Faulkner believes she is the only person on the planet legally allowed to posses her name.
Her lawyers state:
“Harris Faulkner, the uniquely named, acclaimed veteran journalist and author, has worked for decades to establish and maintain her personal brand and laudable professional reputation.”
“(Hasbro) willfully and wrongfully appropriated Faulkner’s unique and valuable name and distinctive persona for its own financial gain,”
they added.
The suit also claims the television host is “extremely distressed” due to the “choking hazard” risk the toy bearing her namesake poses to children.
Hasbro has pulled the toy from its online store, but the product is still available to purchase on various other websites.
The silver lining is that if you’ve been in search of information regarding world affairs delivered by a news anchor who also thinks she is a hamster, you need look no further.
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Lifestyles of the self-important...
That toy is probably smart enough to replace that presstitute!
Nah, the doll is WAY better looking- case dismissed....
Then again, if she can prove that SHE doesn't have a "choking hazard", then I'm interested.....
Imagine how many nuts that hampster could fit in its mouth!
Blued-eyed, yellow, plastic hamster?
Her lawyer should really look at these folks as a defendent...
TY big eye plush toys soft brown monkey
Das speciest!
I have a giraffe doll that looks something like that, but i don't need to sued over it to prove a point.
And it's gone.
Does the toy have an Adam's Apple like that "woman?"
pods
That toy dindu nuffin.
He a good toy.
Winning^^
The name given to the toy is: "Littlest Pet Shop LPS Benson Detwyler Harris Faulkner Pawsabilities" This is the problem.
I broke a toof laughing so hard.
Who knew FOX had a Minority Recruitment Goal, Diversity Mandate, and Racial Hiring quotas?
Thanks to Zionist Banking Mafia that controls mass media and deliberately destroys this country, the USA is doomed. Somehow, I don't feel sorry any more.
This is where Larry Flynt comes out with the stripper hood prostitute doll named Harris Faulkner who comes with a book of free Obama food stamps.
Hustler magizine sells 75 million additional copies.
Where's Larry?
although i hesitate to counter a handle as evocative and beloved as maltese falcon (the stuff dreams are made on), in the interests of precision accuracy and to look good to the many adorable ten year old female lurkers here, a distinction must be made: https://www.google.com/search?q=Benson+Detwyler&client=safari&rls=en&tbm...
you see, the hamster harris faulkner is the pet of the terrier benson detwyler. what exactly pet means between two domesticated species is up for discussion. one does own pets though. perhaps an addendum to the suit should be prepared citing the sordid history of slavery in the americas.
The bimbo is delusional. She's nowhere as cute as the toy...
^^
Please promote to top of page.
So, if she were to get down and crawl around on all fours, I do indeed see a resemblance... :>D
@hedgeless_horseman
A monkey doll since she's black.. how original and witty. Hard to belive the tylers gave an unoriginal racist douchebag posting rights. but you did get a lot of upvotes.
congrats.
douche.
And you'll be getting downvotes for your anti-free speech libtard bullshit.
I've been getting downvoted here for 5 years + and could give a shit less. It takes no brain to go that route for insults on this lady. I thought she might get a pass from you dolts since she's "Fox news approved"
got your blacklivesmatter right here
http://stuffblackpeopledontlike.blogspot.com/2015/09/black-deaths-matter...
thanks for the link Dave----LMAO ----chimpologist indeed ---
Since you seem to like it, have some more !
BKbroiler,
Zionist "science" claims that a man evolved from a monkey. In your case, the evolution went into reverse reaching a feebleminded stage of development.
We all know Zionist science is nonsense. Man was created by the enormous invisible man in one fell swoop. All similarities in appearance, symmetry, and enviornmental adaptation to other species is purely coincidental. God was like "Bam" and Adam came out. Thank god he had an extra rib or he'd be jerking off for millenia.
I don't get it...what does having an extra rib have to do with being married?
mr. broiler. i see some logical flaws in your reasoning. if he was jerking off for "millenia" how did he reproduce past one generation? hmm?
also even if there hadn't been the extra rib, god had a backup plan: get a wife from the same place cain got his (east of eden, where he could hang out with james dean). in a pinch, try the place where noah's sons found wives. where there's a will there's a way.
at least you knew zionist science was nonsense. there's that.
Couldn't FFS ... couldn't care less or couldn't give a shit. If you could care less it means you still care a measureable amount. It does not make sense in the context used.
Example: I couldn't care less if Black skinned people instantly assume effigy whenever they see a toy monkey and proceed to acuse every child with a stuffed toy monkey of racism.
you're right, there's absolutely no racist connotation when a white texan famer posts a picture of a stuffed monkey and refers to their resemblance to a black newscaster.
I'm not captain morals over here, I live a heathen life. But racism is for pussies, and veiled racism by anonymous internet tough guys is pathetic. I usually have no prob with the horseman, but when he uses his posting rights to further that kind of thinking then I like to fuck with him. If racism is fair game then so is everything I can throw back at him.
Oh, and about that last part, I'm white.
i'm sorry mr. broiler but i'm going to have to help gang up on you again. you did seem to slide into that "could care less" logical inconsistancy you were cited for (logic is my specialty). also you used "their" as a pronoun for monkey (grammar another). then you use pussies like it's a bad thing, then you call hedgeless's racism veiled, which is a stretch, then you say if racism is fair game, which means it can be shot, figuratively speaking, which sort of contradicts your then statement which wouldn't need to be made were racism fair game. right?
though for pluck you are a credit to your race.
America was a better place with:
homos in the closet;
women in the home;
negroes in the fields.
You know I'm right. You're angry because you won't allow yourself to admit it.
Google image search big eye toy and tell us which one most, "infringes on her likeness." It sure isn't the blue-eyed yellow hamster.
Nice backpedaling try. Let me image search "bitter old white guy on a farm" and see if I can find you.
White guy with a huge cock on a small farm.
Looking good Hedgeless. The Mrs. must be pleased!
;-)
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fb/23/e3/fb23e32bd184aea40605b...
yeah, every time I call you on your bullshit you have to post something about your dick. Sounds like penis envy. Maybe Mrs. Horseman likes the black snake. I'm sure you were quite the stud during Eisenhour's tenure though.
Dick?
Penis?
Black snake?
Stud?
Where is your mind? I thought we were talking about old white farmers?
But hey, if you are into that homo stuff, fine by me.
Hey, you're the one who brought up dicks. Last thing I wanted was to hear about yours.
Shame your wife's ZH debut post failed miserably, along with your "horseman training camp" fiasco. At least they let you keep posting rights. They took mine away last time I called out a ZH poster for their racist bullshit, let's see if I've crossed the line again.
Stop it. I did not. You're verbalizing your fantasies again.
I know that you are very jealous of my wife, but let's leave her out of this.
Totally jealous, based on your food pics I'm guessing yours can cook better than mine. I'm just a sucker for firm tits I guess.
Isn't this fun? It's like old times, Hedge...
I knew this sounded familiar. Yeah, just like old times!
I feel for you on the food . . . I'd envy his wife's cooking if my gf weren't also great in the kitchen. Hell, with much more exotic stuff, too.
But the firm tits . . . that wasn't very nice! I'm guessing you got us both there. Congrats on those!
This thread is hilarious, though. Nice to see a good fight now and then.
Hmm, nice mid-week dust up although the dick part maybe went on a bit long. I'm not taking sides about whose (who's?) dick is bigger but Hedge won if you are a vote counter. And if I may, BK, maybe lighten up on the hatred of racists perveived or real. It is petty unless directed at a serial offender and even then, they usually run themselves off. Just cuz someone types nigger does not make them racist. It is just the current MSM driven cause and there are much worse things going on in the world than racial prejudice. jmo
it's whose. who's means who is.
and there is so much worse going on than racial prejudice.
like all the rich people taking all of the money from the poorer people. like all of the powerful people putting the powerless ones in jail. like all of the well armed people bombing the poorly armed ones.
I have heard yours is a meany in a cock fight...undefeated. Now I know why!
If I do a right click on your avatar and choose Search Google for this image, I get a link to..
Dog Whistle Racism
God, I admire you, BKbroiler- you're so... edgy..... Now drop some fries for me, chop chop.
Wait... Throw in a Whopper with that, too- go.
BK,
Perhaps you are lost.
Let me help.
Ahhh.. yes.
See, you turned hard right into the Fight Club, a very dangerous place for the faint of heart.
My recommendation is for you to back up nice and slooooow with your hand visible.
When you reach the edge of the illumination zone, run.
Oh, do tell me more about Fight Club, sir. Does it look like a Nascar rally? Will there be overweight, sunburnt, coors light drinking, confederate hat donning, chain smoking, Dale Gribble types for me to look up to? Will they be mumbling shit about the good old days when colored folk didn't talk back? It sounds like a magical place, I'm thinking something like this:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/75662964@N00/19842128035/in/dateposted-pub...
Looks like a fun party.
that coors light reference was a little below the belt but understandable considering the degree to which you are, apparently, outnumbered.
Jim Kunstler . . .
is that you?
They can help you.
http://theperiodstore.com
@ bkbroiler get off your soapbox, or watermelon box whatever you choose to stand on when you troll a financial blog and spew your divisive racism.
"get off your... watermelon box.. when you..spew your divisive racism"
Nice work. Yes, I'll get off my watermelon box when I want to spew racism.
this is a financial blog. we are discussing hot black fox "news"casters and littlest pet shops. get serious and back on topic.
This is much better; the "Ferguson Games"
http://safeshare.tv/w/FvVTVikOSz
I’ll make it 90 ‘thumbs down’. I recall Ms. Faulkner’s stint here in the Kansas City area at WDAF (Channel 4 FOX) throughout the 90s. The locals seemed agreeable to her rise to the national stage – wherever the platform. The comments here, in response to her action, or more appropriate those of her ‘handlers’ and the Network however, speak to the core of this angst, anger and absolute disdain we hold against American elitism, narcissism and self-importance. Know thy enemy sir. It may not be Ms. Faulkner directly, but most assuredly what she represents.
.
I'm betting that chick has a dick
I bet she's Megan Kelley's drinking partner. Both very frustrated femdoms.
Her face radiates stupidity ... so a perfect anchor.
I never thought she was an affirmative action hire but...you have to wonder after this type of a lawsuit.
Consult the AAAAAAALPO Rule:
Always Assume Africans in America Are Affirmative Action Less Proven Otherwise.
Is that a " Don Lemon"?
Holy shit that's funny! I think it is.
Obama?
No. It is a doll. Obama is a puppet.
Yep! All those Presstitute Media Zombie Actors, I mean anchors have that Drone / Deer Caught in MK ULTRA headlights look.
I'm sticking with my Jihad Johnny! He's a better sport and has much more potential. Better yet, despite all he's been thru with isis, he has no chip on his shoulder.
Maybe the plastic hamster should sue her...........
Or poles up its ass...
Yup. Spittin image. She looks just like a fkg hamster. I would suggest the similarities stop there. The hamster has class.
Are we talking about choking on the doll or her news?
There is a likeness. Neither one has a brain.
In a country where a buffoon as Donald Trump can become a serious contender as presidential nominee, anything is possible.
In Scandinavia, where I am from, anything is also possible. Including the importation of tens of thousands subhuman Muslim assholes. The rate of violent crime has gone up so much in Sweden during the last 25 years that in beginning in 2013, the risk of getting murdered officially became larger than the risk of dying in traffic.
Dang, and you guys have Volvos.....
Volvo Cars is now owned by a Chinese company. The cars are still made in Sweden.....but the compnay is owned by China. Volvo Trucks is still Swedish.
Sweden, Norway, Denmark - I have lived and worked in them all. It takes a special kind of stupid to voluntarily give up your country to violent muslims.
Not really- try electing one President and then talk to us.....
Eaxctly, except we don't really have elections anymore. No one counts votes. The ballot boxes have been stuffed for two years now
Sweden really built its street cred by awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to the 21st Century's Greatest Drone Master.
I'd really like to add a comment about how stupid our leaders/ electorate is, but the truth is, it's by design, by TPTB. However, most of the electorate is pretty stupid.
Hey Ewick,
You better find a lawyer.
These corporate facists are using your wife's pic to line their capitalist pockets.
http://www.chicagonow.com/ndigo-chit-chat-all-that/files/2014/10/aunt_je...
Norway awards the Nobel peace prize, but I take your point. They gave the peace prize to Arafat, but not Gandhi. And to DroneMaster Obama. The nomination dealine was February 1, so I guess the nominator based their decision on less than two weeks of work as president. Full libtard regression analysis required to fathom that kind of shit.
arafat and menachem begin (it got better; he is after all one of the pioneers of false flag terrorism)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_David_Hotel_bombing
Who bombed the moslem countries that made them come there? For every action, there is a reaction. Srop whinning.
it wasn't sweden but your point is well taken.
Better go and spread the word to Iceland they are willingly going to take in a lot. So naive.
Liar, liar, Ewik says no one was raped or otherwise harmed by the importation of the superior brown overlords.. You take that back or ewik will whimper like a little biaatch..
I get the impresson you think sub-human and Muslim are the same thing.
If so, that makes you the asshole.
i see your downvotes are winning. i'll bet rather he thinks of them more in boolean algebraic terms, the euler circle sub-human larger and encircling the smaller one muslims. that may not change the conclusion though.
Truth really is stranger than fiction after all!
My suit against Ford is still winding its way thru the courts. They had no right to name a car after my son without his/my permission; Javier "Pinto" Gonzales.
Ditto for a country that can choose a narcissistic communist ideologue, pathological liar, and all around imbecile whose past remains hidden for president.
But wait - there's more!
That's right, John McAfee for president. If he gets elected, you'll pay hell getting him out.
So if sales of the toy go up - will it be racism, sexism, or a compliment?
So if hasbro's advertising of any toy on any FOX media outlet stays above zero, will it be a miracle?
if the toy were a monkey I would understand her suffering
How stupid can anyone be???
Outfoxed by a rubber duck!
The story is really more about the personal traits of the attorney advising Ms. Faulkner...
"My case! My case" it's all I hear all day long.
Now even news anchors need a case.
Fire her
as in basket case
Hah, she self identifies as a hamster.
Your muthair was a hamster and your fazzair smelled of elderberries.
"You empty-headed, animal food-trough whapper"
"Fetchez la vache!"
a hamster hamsterbates
Let's see her on all fours.
Pass. I'd fuck the hamster first.
Armageddon!!!
i bet you would you dirty hamster fucker
TILT...
im filing a co-defendant lawsuit.
obviously stealing my image
I'm not trying to piss you off but your avatar looks like he self identifies as a transgender homey the clown. I feel that this is microaggression towards people who liked homey the way he was, myself included. I feel you have left me no choice but to persue litigation, 15 million should cover it.
i press enter once- ZH double posts me..
yawn
Not to worry. We'll make up for it by double down voting you.
get the fuck out then you whining pussy
Don't worry, I never read it either time.
I have no words.
I do.
DUMB CUNT!
Ironically, she just fucked herself. She will never, ever live this down.
God, I hope you're right.
Hope late night tv picks this up. That be some funny shit right there.
TORT Law, as presented by Johnny Cochran (thanks to South Park).
If she is this arrogant and made it onto TV, someone she pissed off along the way is likely buying a crapload of these little things. Oh, the fun in where they might show up from time to time.
Fucking lunatic.
How the fuck do you come up with a name Harris Faulkner for a toy hamster. Who the fuck comes up with this shit.
It was between that name, Vince Foster and Budd Dwyer.
Or perhaps Toy the Hamster.
Budd Dwyer, a Penna legend of 44mag use.
Someone who thinks Harris Faulkner is a total flake. There is certainly nothing I can think of that would support such a notion. Well, other than she apparently thinks she is a hamster.
If they change the hair colour to strawberry blond, lost the eyelashes it could be Donald T.
Somebody at Hasbro was having some fun. Honestly I'm with her on this one it does share her likeness. She wouldn't have noticed if Hasbro named it something else. I'm not with her suing for damages.
They were gonna go with Ritchard Gere but then remembered that was for the new gerbil toy and not the hamster.
It would appear that she may be the only Harris Faulkner in the US, however:
http://www.peoplefinders.com/search/searchpreview.aspx?searchtype=people...
Pretty unique name.
Using the same tool, I find there are actually shitloads of Donald Trumps in the US:
http://www.peoplefinders.com/search/searchpreview.aspx?searchtype=people...
Any doubt that he would be suing? I'd probably sue too, if I were either of them.
You oughta get paid for somebody commercially exploiting your name. If you don't own that--if that ain't your property--what the fuck is?
All the cucklin', shuckin' and jivin' aside, I think Hasbro fucked up here.
Let's get real: Even a fucking color of paint called "Donald Trump" don't fly. Seriously.
It ain't about the fucking color.
cause the name flem snopes was already taken?
I was shocked until I realized it was FOX "NEWS"
Likewise. They're as bad as Barry Obola to me. But I'm with their fucked up anchor, here. Hasbro used her . . . wait for it . . . full name.
Why doesn't she do a hit in Playboy ? Or sorry National Geographic would be more appropriate
Ouch!! :)
BTW that comment dates you, You must have read the magazine back in the 1950s and early 60s.
Whoa! Dats wayciss
14 minutes and 58 seconds.....59 seconds.....
Are anatomically correct models available?
You're looking for a toy with a real looking hamster vagina?
Hasbro should sue her for damaging sales of their hampster...
token nubian with simian brain, seems like a great gig
Isn't there a porn site called Hamster???
like you don't know :oD