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Sorry Algos, No Help From Gartman Today Who Flop Flips To "Flat And Nervous"
So much changes in three days. For proof look no further than just the last three days of Dennis Gartman virtual portfolio recommendations.
Tuesday - bearish:
Trend Line Support, We Fear, Is A Very Long Way Down: This is a sobering thought, but this chart… which we included in our commentary yesterday… should give everyone a case of very real concern for support for the S&P is several hundred points below where the market closed on Friday. Strength is to be sold into.... We remain here at TGL modestly net short of the market generally and we’ve no intention of changing that focus other than to become a bit shorter still as time and market conditions demand.
Wednesday - bullish:
In our retirement fund here at TGL… the only money which we manage directly… we came into yesterday’s session decently net short; not aggressively so, but not marginally so either. However, it made no difference; we were short in a rampaging bullish move and we had no choice but to rush to cover much of the net short position immediately upon the opening of trade on the NYSE.... Within moments of the opening we had reduced that net short position almost entirely. Would that we had had the temerity and the foresight to have reversed our derivatives position entirely, but we are neither that insightful nor that heroic.
Today, almost certainly we’ll be covering in a bit more of our derivatives position and at the same time we’ll be buying more of our single “tanker” stock to take our “net” position to one that is modestly, marginally net long. We’ve no choice. The market has spoken and it has spoken loudly.
And today - "flat and nervous":
We enter today effectively net market neutral, holding the same position we have held wherein we are long of the same “tanker” stock and long of a small position in coal shares while “short” of derivatives and at this point we see no reason to believe that we shall be changing that position today; however, the randomness of the market’s movements makes even that statement seem disingenuous. We are indeed “Flat and nervous,” and that seem quite reasonable and rational under the circumstances.
Which oddly is comparable to what David Tepper, who just "topped out" on CNBC, said suggesting that "being flat stocks is not a bad place to be."
So, dear algos, sorry - no directional fade from Gartman this morning.
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F U C K T A R D!!!
What's the opposite of flat?
UN FLAT
So, somebody stole Gartman's Dartboard?
How the hell do I trade against "flat"??? Dennis, I have bills to pay, college funds to fund and I'd like to take a vacation sometime this decade. "Flat" does me no fucking good. I trust you (to be completely wrong). Make the fucking call, Dennis.
It's a hitherto hypothetical dimension in which financial spacetime is folded in upon itself.
Short and calm is my call
"<knock knock>"
"Who is it?"
"It's Nurse Ratched, Mr. Gartman. I have your medications."
Isn't there an options strategy that "consistently makes money in flat markets"? I hear it's all the rage with senior citizens and the 3am TV crowd.
Trade against "flat stocks"? Well the most obvious bet would be on volatility - long VIX call / short VIX put
Quick, are you decisive?
Gartman: "Well, yes and no..."
Is it a virtual portfolio or a virtual recommendation?
WB7 needs to do some work, the Gartman needs caught-in-road wide dear eyes...
Say your sorry.
Take your medicine.
Trade poorly every day.
And let Gartmania run wild over you!
Your sorry, or my sorry? Your =/= you're.
Flat and nervous. Dennis G is making good progress towards completing his first step.
so long straddles/vol is the un-gartman trade i guess?
Denny prefers to drink the bottle rather than spin the bottle today.
He who flips first flops best
He needs to hire a good trader that understands Volatility.It's obvious he's getting bounced around.
Intervention ?
This seemed an appropriate link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azEOeTX1LqM
Hey Fartman....their are certain individuals who are making a killing fading your choices daily. Don't be a pussy and wimp out on us with no "net neutral" today. Get some balls you stock picking shill...
He's suggested a trade: buy at-the-money puts and calls...
Dennis has joined the Flat Earth Society. http://www.tfes.org/
To be fair, this latest Gartman does agree with what Tepper says in the headline post on ZH at 9:00 AM EST.
It is no longer possible to know where equities would be without constant central bank interventions. One looks at Asian markets and cannot tell if central banks bought 10%, 50% or 99% of the float. It will be like this forever now. The bankers see no choice but to intervene to restore “confidence” and prevent a meltdown. But, one would think they can never again back out of the markets without causing panic. It is the New Normal, and maybe that is okay. They have clearly shown that if they prevent stocks from falling, people go out and borrow money and buy stuff, rinse-repeat. Maybe there no longer is ‘price discovery’ sans central bank purchases? Goldman will just revise all old value rules and tell the lemmings what they want to hear. The new markets may be levitated forever and bears will have their faces ripped off time and again, waiting for poor earnings to cause a tumble that never comes.
Makes sense. When you get slammed hard against one concrete wall and then slammed hard against the opposite concrete wall, it can result in spinal injury. This damage could cause paralysis.
Is he talking about his willy????
I would assume someone who subscribes to his newsletter is looking for a calm and professional opinion not based on the whims of the day that change by the minute. The fucking guy is nervous when he's flat, that should be another huge warning flag for his readers that he has no idea what he is doing. It would be impossible to have any type of rational trading system and do a 180 degree switch seemingly daily.
If there are in fact subscribers to this tard's newsletter and he actually have clients, they should be called "Dumb & Dumber"
'schizo' is a word that comes to mind
Gartman Flat and Nervous that means the market will go either swing much higher or much lower today ?
Well, now he's just doing what money managers do, isn't he? If the market looks like its going to drop, well, he told us so, didn't he! And a few seconds later, if the market looks to recover, well he told us that too, so, bravo!
And if he manages a fund, and stands to LOSE money if people REDEEM, then, .... the market always looks great. Don't sell out now! Fear and Greed are not strategies! in it for the long term! You can't time the market! That's way too DANGEROUS!
Instead of listening to the people who make money from this stuff, listen to your gut. That is, of course, unless you had a plate of bad Mexican food last night. Then trust your bowl.