A Warning For The Bears: Gartman Goes Short S&P Futures, "Very Worried In Catholic Terms"

Tyler Durden's picture

Will Gartman make it 4 out of 4 this week?

As a reminder, Tuesday Gartman came out swing bearish and stocks soared. On Wednesday, he was bullish and stocks staged a late tumble. On Thursday, Gartman exhausted from all the flip-flopping refused to virtually trade virtual money, and said he was "flat and nervous". Stocks, not knowing how to fade that, closed virtually unchanged. To wit:

Tuesday - bearish:

Trend Line Support, We Fear, Is A Very Long Way Down: This is a sobering thought, but this chart… which we included in our commentary yesterday… should give everyone a case of very real concern for support for the S&P is several hundred points below where the market closed on Friday. Strength is to be sold into.... We remain here at TGL modestly net short of the market generally and we’ve no intention of changing that focus other than to become a bit shorter still as time and market conditions demand.

Wednesday - bullish:

In our retirement fund here at TGL… the only money which we manage directly… we came into yesterday’s session decently net short; not aggressively so, but not marginally so either. However, it made no difference; we were short in a rampaging bullish move and we had no choice but to rush to cover much of the net short position immediately upon the opening of trade on the NYSE.... Within moments of the opening we had reduced that net short position almost entirely. Would that we had had the temerity and the foresight to have reversed our derivatives position entirely, but we are neither that insightful nor that heroic.


Today, almost certainly we’ll be covering in a bit more of our derivatives position and at the same time we’ll be buying more of our single “tanker” stock to take our “net” position to one that is modestly, marginally net long. We’ve no choice. The market has spoken and it has  spoken loudly.

Thursday - "flat and nervous":

We enter today effectively net market neutral, holding the same position we have held wherein we are long of the same “tanker” stock and long of a small position in coal shares while “short” of derivatives and at this point we see no reason to believe that we shall be changing that position today; however, the randomness of the market’s movements makes even that statement seem disingenuous. We are indeed “Flat and nervous,” and that seem quite reasonable and rational under the circumstances.

Which brings us to today, and the most recent now daily flip-flop by the world renowned contrarian indicator, when somewhat to our surprise, Gartman did not revert back to being bullish, which would be great news for bears, but instead Gartman decided to almost assure that stocks close the week green.

To wit:

From a purely technical circumstance we are still quite worried about the markets in general terms, but we are very worried about the markets here in the US in specific, catholic terms because the current consolidation has traced out what in the text-book of technical analysis, Edward’s & McGee’s Technical Analysis of Stock Market Trends is a nearly classic “pennant” formation that almost always resolves itself in the direction that prevailed before the consolidation took place. In this instance, since the moved preceding the “pennant” was down, the next move of consequence shall also likely be lower. If the consolidation is indeed reconciled to the downside, the target becomes 1725-1750, or just a bit more than 200 S&P points to the downside.


* * *


NEW RECOMMENDATION: we wish to sell the S&P futures short this morning, fearing that a major top hss developed and that the recent consolidation in the stock market is precisely that: a consolidation before the next leg downward.


We’ll sell the S&P future short and will buy the December T-note at the same time, with the S&P trading 1933.00 as we write and with the Dec T-note future trading 127 ¼. We’ll risk no more than 1.5% on either position and we look for the consolidation in the S&P to resolve itself sharply lower as discussed at length above.

Not sure what being worried in "catholic terms" means aside from the daily comedic trolling of clients for what may be the most accurate (if completely in inverse terms) newsletter in history. Bears (and Treasury bulls): this has been your public service announcement warning.

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Amateur Society's picture

Thanks Dennis, Dow 20,000 here we come!

Unless it's time for the broken clock...

bania's picture

"catholic terms"? I was worried when he was long in dong terms, now this!

bania's picture

or even worse, long dong in catholic terms. Yikes!

Secret Treaties's picture
Secret Treaties (not verified) bania Sep 11, 2015 8:11 AM

How does this villiage idiot get any air time?

Haus-Targaryen's picture

So panic buying into the close then? 

Looney's picture

“Gartman” is so offensive! Dennis should change his last name to Gartperson. ;-)


P.S. Somebody, please, give this looser a big shiny trophy just for his participation. ;-)

Pairadimes's picture

This clown gyrates more than Miley Cyrus. He is singlehandedly responsible for putting the V in VIX. I cannot believe there is anybody that takes him seriously anymore.

gmrpeabody's picture

DAMN IT..., now I need to buy?

Crisismode's picture



Isn't this cartoon buffoon a lead character in South Park?


Hype Alert's picture

Ah come on, he said "almost always".  ;)

Shleprock's picture

True to form, Green baby Green!!

SuperRay's picture

Even this self-satisfied Krugman's-perverted-cousin can't be perfect in his market calls - i'm taking the other side of that bet. S&P is down 15 points by the end of the day.  Who's brave enough to take a chance that this empty SOS can't always contra-call the market?

RopeADope's picture

Gartman will get stopped out on Sunday night or Monday.

Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Don't be so harsh, he's at the forefront of the move toward driver-less navigation

DeadFred's picture

Village idiots get air time (or get elected president) because someone wants it for them. Maybe this clown is there to send out coded signals. Catholic terms??? The market breaks when the pope talks to the UN, Congress and the Kenyan guy in two weeks???? Wish I had my secret decoder ring but it went down with my gold in that boating incident. My crystal ball suggests a collapse at about the 23rd to 25th so the Catholic clue may be a good one.

SoilMyselfRotten's picture

It means call the priest to administer last rites

TahoeBilly2012's picture

"catholic terms"...rythym method, hopefully "pulls out" in time...

Paveway IV's picture

If he said he was worried 'in muslim terms' he would be put on a watch list and recruited by the FBI for their next false flag.

SixIsNinE's picture

extra extra, read all about it !  Yale has accepted a large donation from a wealthy ME benefactor in order to establish a center studying Islamic Law. Done deal.  Maybe we better have GW do us a Sharia Law for Dummies post ....


XAU XAG's picture



Fart and give us a clue!

Plunge Protection's picture

The real jokes on the people buying his newsletter. At this point its probably just commic relief for people.

Plunge Protection's picture

The real jokes on the people buying his newsletter. At this point its probably just commic relief for people.

PlayMoney's picture

damn, there goes my inverse funds

XAU XAG's picture

Not nice on the Clowns

NoDebt's picture

My trading strategy for the day is now locked in.

NoVa's picture

I've said it before - A broken clock is right twice a day.




LawsofPhysics's picture

Well damn...  just when my puts were paying off too, fuck this clown.

Laughinggrizzley's picture

Here we go to 2020, can't you just STFU!

Spungo's picture

Very worried and having sex with children. Got it.

The Axe's picture

I don't change my socks this much. I am confused with all of his opposite calls, which call I should trade against. 


VinceFostersGhost's picture



If you can stay current.......which is quite a commitment.

Dr. Engali's picture

To be honest, I'm so confused by this guy that I don't know what his most recent call is.

monopoly's picture

This man is truly a treasure to day traders. I don't day trade but enjoy his modestly long and marginally short positions.....On a daily basis. lol.

 Does anyone actually give this guy money?

Crisismode's picture



"A fool and his sheckels are soon parted."


Bro of the Sorrowful Figure's picture

im worried about the market in ambiguous, transgender caitlyn terms. could this consolidation be nothing more than a bear vagina constructed from an inside out surgically implemented bull scrotum?

Deadratsplat's picture

Wow! I worry in Lutheran terms, maybe Gartman I could go bowling and discuss a list of things to nail to a door!

Chippewa Partners's picture

If his position sizing/risk discipline was followed with GARTMANLIKE precision his retirment account was zeroed out a long time ago.   Bullshit artist extraordinaire!

BlueStreet's picture

Oh, FUDG(e). Flip again Denny, best 2 out of 3.

tedstr's picture

I think he forgot the occasional best trading strategy: Do nothing

VinceFostersGhost's picture



Sit on your hands......over time.....just sayin.

john_connor's picture

I could see a short squeeze to maybe SnP 1990 or something. Then Gartman will flip flop again and then the market will crash.

doggis's picture



Dr. Engali's picture

Doesn't matter how many times you flip a coin, your odds of it landing on heads or tales the next flip never changes.

smoke em if you got em's picture

I think one of his ancestors must have been a revolving door.