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BMW Chief Faints On Stage During Frankfurt Auto Show

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Back in June we noted that for luxury car manufacturers, the Chinese cash cow is dying. "The enormous growth rates luxury-car makers like us have seen in China in recent years won’t continue,” Porsche CFO Lutz Meschke warned at an event in Atlanta in May and needless to say, the picture has not brightened since then.  

The dramatic bursting of China’s equity bubble along with nervousness around the botched attempt to transition smoothly towards a new currency regime has left the country on edge, and although the Tianjin explosion did wonders to vaporize a bit of excess auto inventory, it didn’t do much to calm the country’s frayed nerves. Xi’s anti-corruption campaign hasn’t done anything for the luxury space either.

Here’s what Barclays had to say Monday on the way to slashing GDP growth forecasts for China: "The stock market crash and rising CNY depreciation expectations are also hurting investor and consumer confidence, adding downward pressure to growth in the coming quarters. Looking into 2016, we believe the three major headwinds highlighted in the medium term - excess capacity in many industries, oversupply in the housing market and high debt burdens (especially among local governments) - together with anti-corruption and policy uncertainties will continue to weigh on growth."

As Reuters reports, with economic growth decelerating at a rapid pace (as telegraphed by the yuan deval) and with trillions in paper gains having vanished from the SHCOMP and Shenzhen, luxury automakers are cutting costs and production for their China ventures. Here’s more: 

Volkswagen and other major carmakers have begun reining in Chinese output, wages and other costs, industry sources told Reuters, as executives at the Frankfurt auto show put a brave face on a sharp slowdown in the world's biggest vehicle market.

 

The German car giant's Chinese joint venture, FAW-VW, is cancelling staff bonuses and cutting shifts at its plants near Changchun, northeastern China, people with knowledge of the matter said. The bonuses being scrapped typically account for more than half of the assembly-line workers' take-home pay.

 

Volkswagen's high-end Audi brand also said it had cut output at its Chinese plants, trimming the working week to five days from seven in response to lower demand for models such as the A6 saloon.

 

And German rival BMW said on Tuesday it had reduced output of its locally produced 3 and 5 series models. "We reacted relatively fast," Chief Financial Officer Friedrich Eichiner told journalists. "We are not stockpiling."

 

Car sales in China, until recently the profit engine for automakers around the world, have been hit by a cooling economy and a plunging stock market. Demand was flat in the first eight months of the year and could drop in 2015 for the first time since the market took off in the late 1990s.

 

But some analysts said the Chinese slowdown was coming at a time when carmakers are still opening factories in the country -- creating an excess of capacity that could weigh on profits.

 

Leading research group IHS Automotive expects carmakers' capacity utilization rates in China to drop to 65 percent from last year's 70 percent, a key profitability threshold.

 

"The mood is very depressed at VW, BMW or GM," said Clemens Wasner of Austrian automotive consultancy EFS, which advises several German carmakers in Asia.

One person who saw this coming was former BMW chief Norbert Reithofer (who stepped down in May) who said luxury manufacturers "need to get used to single-digit growth in China." 

As for Reithofer's successor, we wonder, based on the following clip, whether BMW's new chief knows something everyone else doesn't about how bad things really are in China...

 

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Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:27 | 6549922 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

He looked at the sticker price.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:33 | 6549941 nyse
nyse's picture

Shemitah, duh.

Don't lock those knees out buddy!

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:35 | 6549949 New England Patriot
New England Patriot's picture

At  :20 you can see the blowgun dart.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:36 | 6549957 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Pygmy Syrian?

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:07 | 6550086 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

BMW's Chief -- the Ultimate Fainting Machine.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:28 | 6550174 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

It's obvious he is either very nervous or just unwell at the start, and the stage is inclined towards the audience and he got disoriented.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:09 | 6550363 Freddie
Freddie's picture

And we all thought that Tim Cook was a total p*ssy.

Note that is p*ssy not pansy.  I made no reference to Tim's g*yness.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:26 | 6550694 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Like normal men (but with small dicks), he's probably compensating for what he doesn't have or get.  P*ssy, that is.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:31 | 6550191 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Nevermind just get me a glass of hot fat

https://youtu.be/oK1X8SfGMs8?t=58s

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:42 | 6549980 Element
Element's picture

He tripped on an apple.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:27 | 6550699 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Or his big-ass Apple 6 Plus in his pocket tipped him over.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:36 | 6550218 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

His voice was shaky from the start.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:03 | 6550334 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Either he is afraid of public speaking or he just heard an extended family of 150 muslims just moved into his back garden in Munich.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:32 | 6549934 Joe A
Joe A's picture

As a design team you worked years on a new model, made long hours, came up with new innovative solutions, etc. Everybody works hard to get the new model ready to be unveiled at a car show and then your CEO ruins it all by fainting. Perhaps he was overwhelmed by the beauty of your new model.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:27 | 6550443 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Speaking of 'new model', where are the car show model babes that usually show off this stuff ? If they had a few of them on stage, no one wouldve even noticed that guy falling over.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:33 | 6549937 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

Poor man. Poor people generally. We are in for tough times me thinks.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:33 | 6549940 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

"what?  Obama is levying a 40% tax on Volt competitors!!??"

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:35 | 6549950 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

Is this the free market they speak of?

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:39 | 6549971 junction
junction's picture

For an example of the free market, drive by the Belmont race track parking lot on Long Island and take a look at what seems to be thousands of new cars just parked there.  Cars no one are now buying. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:45 | 6549996 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

The auto companies are their own buyers of last resort

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:30 | 6550179 MANvsMACHINE
MANvsMACHINE's picture

Do you mean to tell me that those cars aren't those of horse race fans?

After the success of American Pharoah, I just thought people couldn't wait to buy their new car with a portion their track winnings and rush back to "reinvest" the balance.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:33 | 6549942 franciscopendergrass
franciscopendergrass's picture

Too many hookers the night before and the coke wore off

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:33 | 6549943 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

I think the smell of kebab polluting the streets of the fatherland finally got to him.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:52 | 6550029 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Germany and Europe are f'ed if they don't sned these invaders home.  The USA is already F'ed with Zi-o-bola and the Z-State Dept flooding Amerika with at least 280,000 muslims a year. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:34 | 6549945 saints51
saints51's picture

Have a family member who has this issue. I believe it is called vertigo.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:35 | 6550214 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Vertigo is a symptom (effect) not a cause, and the orchestra didn't look like much of a fear inducing pit, but it could be something like BPPV.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:37 | 6549951 MFL8240
MFL8240's picture

When everyone has to have a car that was originally built for wealthy people and all of a sudden sales stop to the novo rich, I am unsure of what they were thinking when they thought the market was right in China in the first place?  I think the old saying is that GREED will get you every time??  Hope that same principle applies to the US banking crooks, keep our fingers crossed?

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:36 | 6549953 Rubbish
Rubbish's picture

Not enough Cowbell

 

Gold Bitchez.....I pick up pennies

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:37 | 6549958 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Satan's debt collectors are knocking.

 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:37 | 6549960 Mostly Harmless
Mostly Harmless's picture

The photo is ripe for a "caption contest".

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:45 | 6549993 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Someone keyed his brand new BMW.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:57 | 6550050 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He can blame zio-Merkel and her zio-bosses like Soros and other for f**king up his business plans.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:10 | 6550104 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

can't make this suff up, anti corruption laws depress auto sales you say??

"together with anti-corruption and policy uncertainties will continue to weigh on growth."

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:03 | 6550333 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

When the politicians and bureaucrats are even margnally restricted from looting the public purse they don't have millions to blow on luxury cars, art work, expensive jewelry and watches, casino or stock market gambling, London/Vancouver/Laguna Beach/NYC real estate, etc., etc....

Not just a chinese problem.

Check your local mayor, representative, etc. for bundles of cash stacked in the freezer:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/21/jefferson.search/index.html?iref=...

"Federal agents searched the Capitol Hill office of a Louisiana congressman under investigation on bribery charges Sunday, while newly released court papers said agents found $90,000 in cash last year in his Washington home.

 In a 95-page affidavit used to obtain a warrant for the office search, investigators stated that an August 2005 search of Democratic Rep. William Jefferson's home turned up the cash sum in a freezer. "

 

Opps!  That's one BMW that isn't going to get bought...

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:09 | 6550098 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

They found out he drives a Mercedes...oopps.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:38 | 6549963 iClaudius
iClaudius's picture

He has just heard that the China deal has fallen through.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:39 | 6549967 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Sticker Shock

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:39 | 6549968 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Sticker Shock

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:41 | 6549976 tool
tool's picture

He realised every part bolted to the engine was made out of plastic and knew it wouldn't make it more than a few feet off the showroom floor.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:42 | 6549979 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

It's true, the sticker price can make anyone faint. Great cars and engineering. 

I have a idea, why not utilize that plant in Greer, SC. You have plenty of property to expand. Can guarantee a large staff of bean counters will be receiving a pink slip, along with the DM of Finance. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:43 | 6549984 nnnnnn
nnnnnn's picture

over drugged

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:45 | 6549997 Dazar Nummers
Dazar Nummers's picture

 

 

Never happy with any of the Beemers Ive come to know.  Gotta goose em to get going.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:55 | 6550040 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

I'd be glad to offer you a deathride in a M5 model. You'll only be required to wear a diaper, don't want you shitting all over the passenger side leather seat. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:12 | 6550111 Dazar Nummers
Dazar Nummers's picture

Remined me of the test drive scene in the movie "Used Cars".  Best film Kurt Russell ever starred in.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:39 | 6550506 Atomizer
Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:06 | 6550352 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The M5 will go very very fast. 

The problems of rich white people  (sarc)

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:09 | 6550097 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Yep. You can make a 335 perform like a M3 with some performance mods and save a load of frankfurters.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:16 | 6550127 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Diamond modules can assrape the dual forced induction turbo's. 500hp and change is enough for me. You can pull up to 700hp. Just change the chip. 

/winks

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:36 | 6550219 de3de8
de3de8's picture

Then all you have is a hand grenade

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:44 | 6550244 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

I've been down the ECM and BT highway with my Audis.

JHM parts and APR flashes.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:00 | 6550316 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I knew a guy with a Lambo Diablo that had twin turbos added to the hungarian (Audi) V-10 block engine.  The block is cast in Hungary. 

He said it put out like 1200 bhp with high test av gas  and about 1,000 with high test pump gas.  I thought BS until he broght the thing over and took it out.  It sounded like a freaking rocket ship.  I think even more insane than an F1 V-10 engine.  Not those current shitty F1 hybrid engines.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:30 | 6550460 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Have blown up many turbo's in the early 80's. Still don't have a comfy level. I would not suggest altering the forced induction system. Most likely, the manufacturer warranty will be void.

If you do modify, make sure the axel and transaxle can handle the power distribution. Otherwise, it will end up like a GM engineer designing a Corvette transmission, who forgot to talk with the engine design team. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:52 | 6550004 Callz d Ballz
Callz d Ballz's picture

Faint-topia....a rent-a-crowd outside at a promotion ceremony on a late July morning in South MS.  

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:50 | 6550018 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He found out about 1.5 million muslims invading Munich.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:52 | 6550027 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Apple earns more annual profits than us in how long? 27 days! I feel, I feel....

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:53 | 6550032 Monetas
Monetas's picture

Socialism has made life impossible for productive people .... organize and strike back !

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 08:53 | 6550034 Martin T
Martin T's picture

He has just received the latest car sales figures from China, their most important market...

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:56 | 6550227 Freddie
Freddie's picture

250,000 muslims will be resettled near his neighborhood in Munich.

The Germans better oust Merkel and anyone of these open borders traitors.  Ditto Austria, Sweden, Denmark, Holland, France, Italy, Spain, Hungary and the rest.

Put these open borders traitors on trial.  The French invented the guillotine for these traitors. 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 12:12 | 6550957 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its called a pincer movement.

First the ZATO bombs various nations.  Then, if that doesn't create enough turmoil, you finance the 'moderate' opposition (and arm them, duh).  Lastly, you make sure the borders are wide open back home, and then, last step, you literally pay the 'migrants' to go there!

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:03 | 6550072 youngman
youngman's picture

Just getting ready for Octoberfest.....get drunk ...fall down....

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:48 | 6550262 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Oktoberfest with lots of drinking and drunkness will surely offend the 500,000 muslims flooding into Munich and Bavaria. 

Here is Rothschilds...er I mean Reuters worried about "right wing" German anti-invasion party.

Merkel needs to be put on trial along with other open borders Quislings.  The French guillotines are quite effective.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:05 | 6550080 youngman
youngman's picture

Its obvious now that for all new presentations..you must wear a helmut...its the law

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:08 | 6550094 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I am heart broken...

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:10 | 6550101 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

He has just been told the Exhibition Hall will be turned over to Gatecrashers shipped into Europe by Turkey and that in addition to free rail travel and free Internet they are to be given free cars to show Merkel can "win hearts and minds" outside Germany because she ain't doing too well inside...........

She has rediscovered the German "Sonderweg" which led them into the joys of the 1914 War and clearly is stoking up civil war in Europe, if not secession by Bayern and Baden-Wuerttemberg

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:50 | 6550275 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He has been told that Zio-Merkel has decreed that BMW and other German car makers must make free cars for muslim invaders to help their self esteem.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:21 | 6550150 nnnnnn
Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:31 | 6550190 StuntPope
StuntPope's picture

Harkens back to Boris Yeltsen days....

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 09:41 | 6550233 Nesbiteme
Nesbiteme's picture

Now he knows what it feels like to be a BMW owner who has just received his first out of warranty repair bill.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:06 | 6550347 Conax
Conax's picture

Doing tradeshows sucks. This guy is used to being waited on hand and foot at corporate headquarters, putting in 4 to 6 hours before retiring to the club for cocktails.

The tradeshows have you on your dogs about 12 hours and eating cheap, disgusting food, meeting all sorts of people, fielding questions and trying to keep your lies straight.

I bet it was low blood sugar or just a lack of sleep with all the hookers and blow.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:16 | 6550408 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Trying to make it sound like executives actually work is amusing; the guy is suffering from myasthenia gravis from living too cushy a life.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:15 | 6550402 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

They may be 1.4B, but how many of them can afford an 740i?

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:41 | 6550512 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Bunch of homos over there in Germany.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 10:45 | 6550529 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

It could have been worse -

 

Massive diarrhea.


 

 


 


Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:05 | 6550590 Goldbugger
Goldbugger's picture

He say sales projections for next year.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:09 | 6550615 Fukushima Fricassee
Fukushima Fricassee's picture

He shit himself

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:42 | 6550787 Teh Finn
Teh Finn's picture

What's with the open arms-closed arms-repeat every few seconds method of delivery?  Is that supposed to induce sleep?

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 11:52 | 6550837 hannah
hannah's picture

they cut the part out of the video where he is still half passed out yet screams..'heil hitler" and salutes...

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 14:21 | 6551524 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Try not to skip breakfast.

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 14:34 | 6551761 Shirley Swanepoel
Shirley Swanepoel's picture

What would Hitler say?

 

Tue, 09/15/2015 - 18:19 | 6552917 Pipetex
Pipetex's picture

This happens when you are not close enough to a chair and the music stops, you see, if your business model are targeted towards a shrinking 0.1%.

Wed, 09/16/2015 - 18:11 | 6557831 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

Or maybe he just bet someone that he could find the dipstick while holding his breath.

Wed, 09/16/2015 - 23:38 | 6559028 rex-lacrymarum
rex-lacrymarum's picture

His condition is hopeless, but it's not serious. 

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