This Is Why Hewlett-Packard Just Fired Another 30,000

Tyler Durden's picture

Remember when Hewlett-Packard announced it would fire 58,000 in February just so the company could spend even more billions on stock buybacks to make its shareholders filthier rich?


Alas, since then things have gone south not only for HPQ stock but also for the company's buybacks activity...


... and so Meg Whitman clearly needed to spend even more on buybacks. But where to get the money? Wait, here's an idea: lets fire another 30,000!

 Sure enough, just out from Bloomberg:


More details from Bloomberg on the latest restructuring bloodbath out of Hewlett-Packard :

  • sees FY16 FCF $2b-$2.2b, with normalized FCF $3.7b.
  • Sees FY16 adj. EPS $1.85-$1.95
  • Sees FY16 operating cash flow $5b-$5.2b
  • Sees cutting 25k-30k jobs as part of restructuring, with GAAP charges $2.7b
  • Sees returning at least 50% of FCF to holders through ~$400m in dividends and the remaining in share repurchases
  • Says will consider strategic partnerships, investments and M&A “in the right circumstances”
  • Earlier, co. said sees HPE cloud rev. ~$3b in FY2015 growing over 20% with similar pace expected over next “several years”
  • Said enterprise services business on target for 7%-9% oper. margin target and for reducing $1.4b in costs for 2015; sees similar cost reduction pace continuing next year

And so, dear 30,000 formerly-well paid computer engineers and technicians: welcome to the fast-food recovery. And don't forget to BTFD with all that spare cash.

Now, where is that 25bps rate hike because the economy is just too strong...

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RopeADope's picture

Corporations know what is coming and it isn't pretty. It starts with a D, ends in a ion and makes great things look puny in comparison.

TeamDepends's picture

And this mythical "winter" is coming, with chill and whiteness.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Carly Fiorina destroyed HP and now she wants to run the country.

Jumbotron's picture

Go further in Carly's history.  She shit all over AT&T as well.

Relentless101's picture

Who in the fuck buys stock in a tech company where the company's best use of funds is to buy its own stock?!?! These dipships have nothing on the horizon. Fork and done.

bania's picture

How many employees do they have left? those are big cuts!

coinhead's picture
coinhead (not verified) bania Sep 15, 2015 4:04 PM

Of course teh markets rallied today cos we got short.  More layoffs, more bullish, more pain for teh we...

Arnold's picture

Will the last taxpayer leave a note, and turn out the lights.


(oh clean out the fridge so it doesn't smell bad.)

wee-weed up's picture

You can thank Obozo's shitty economy.

Shocker's picture

Nothing says Recovery, like layoffs

Layoff / Closing List:



Praetorian Guard's picture

Some very serious shit coming... biggest copper producer pulled all fy 2016 funds back. Layoffs announced and shut downs. Equip being shipped to south america properties. Corp accountants shitting big bricks.


Come join us for free at everyone is welcome...

cnmcdee's picture

So.. You want $96 dollars for a set of replacement cartridges for your $35 printer - that will run out in 225 pages.. And you wonder why you need stock buy backs?

SixIsNinE's picture

yeah thanks Carly ...

HP made bullet-proof products that would last forever..... I still buy HP workstation notebooks, especially now when I can get them for $100 on ebay ....

I sold HP products in the 1990s  .... we had HP laserjet IIs that companies would run day & night .... virtually no maintenance ... when PCL5 came around then we had LJ IIIs .... and still companies would call for LJ I's, .... 100 pounds of invincible Printing ! .... this kind of product has no place in the World of Planned-Obsolesence .... I'm currently running an 8510w, 8530w, 2530p, Dell 6420 quad i7, hp printers hp scanners, hp pavilion desktops, .... all for less than what a Laserjet II would have cost in 1994, Total. 


Not My Real Name's picture

I still have my HP 15C scientific calculator I bought in 1983 to get me through college for my engineering degree. There is nothing better than a hand held calculator that uses Reverse Polish Notation!

canucck's picture

Reverse polish! I haven't thought of that since 1988, when I saw one of my classmates throw his TI-55 with sticky keys, at the wall, in the middle of a physics exam.  Ahh, the memories.

Spaceman Spiff's picture

Nothing pisses me off more than when gizmos get glitchy out of the blue.  Planned OBsolesence.  F'n bullshit.   Apple is ridiculously brazen about it.

Tapeworm's picture


I can be cheaper than you. I am still running some USED HP desktops that still perform well for what i need. They cost me 120.00 each and have held up for four years past their dead date. I don't do social media or stuff that eats worthless waste of what's happenin' now.

 I still get good performance out of the old software that does CNC programming and am faster and more accurate than the new crap that my employees have.

 I am not proud of this, it is just that being a cheap SOB still works.

 I did take your advice and made offers on 2012-2013 versions of the high end HP workstation laptops as they will run on my old docks.

theprofromdover's picture

We would be too, if HP and Micros**t hadn't done a deal that no legacy printers etc. would get drivers from Vista onwards.

We buy Canon now for printing.

The last decent laptops we bought from HP were Elitebook range, they were well made. All the lower spec. stuff has been poor for years.

Chairman's picture

I remember well when Carly told us that we designed too much quality into the products.  She had this phrase "Perfect Enough", we all just ignored her because we knew that CEOs come and go but customers will always be there a long as we keep the quality in the products.  The thing CEOs never understood was that product decisions were made by individual engineers and we just let management take the credit.

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

ugly bitches carly and meg, but the tv talking heads were just saying last night: wait till carly shows her stuff, trump will melt ...well trump is still running a billion buck co, what the fuck has carly done with her golden parachute payoff money??

promoted beyond her ablities kick out of a job she wants to run a country? nuts.

Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) Praetorian Guard Sep 15, 2015 9:44 PM

Tried, and failed.  Your endless cycle of failed registration sucks.

BigJim's picture

HP used to make fantastic products. I remember getting their RPN calculators back in th 80's; built like tanks.

Then they decided to "add value" by removing more and more material from their consumer/"prosumer" products until they became unspeakably flimsy. They stopped holding things together with proper fastenings and starting hot melting/gluing it together, so if it died you had to cut it open to have any chance of fixing it.

I still have one of their Laserjet 4100 printers. I expect it to outlast anything they currently produce, and it must be going on 16+ years old now.

Fuck you, HP. You started selling shit and now you're eating through your seed corn. I just wish the "leaders" who did this to you had to pay some kind of penalty greater than getting $25M in a severance package.

Automatic Choke's picture

+100.   The path of HP is everything that is wrong about modern business models.  I still have a 5MP laserjet (one of the first), still works great.  Also have a number of 42S day-to-day workhorse and several spares.  I don't think the present HP could even dream of making these products today.

nope-1004's picture

How well will I profit, as a salesman, if I sell you something that works?

How valuable are you, as a customer in my database, if you never come back?


Confucious say  "Buy another one, and if you can't afford it, f'n finance it!"

It's the growing trend.  Look at appliances.  Nothing works anymore.

gearbaby's picture

That's okay...Trump will bring back all those lost jobs...HAHAHAHAHA

Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) gearbaby Sep 15, 2015 9:28 PM

Americans are so entitled to think they should be able to pay for their cost of living.  They should live in slums... with a very strict HOA... and $12 celery.

Spaceman Spiff's picture

They will dine on the planned inflation and like it.

Big Brother's picture

I had never heard of these models before, but a quick eBay check yielded the following results:


  • Build date:  1987
  • Build location:  USA (wow, a pocket calculator made in the US)


And good lord, that's twice what a good used TI-89 sells for, and this thing ^ is 28 years old.

cynicalskeptic's picture

You couldn't kill my HP45 calculator - bought in the early 70's.    Was a bloody miracle in the days when slide rules were still being used.    

Was stolen or I'd still be using it.

Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) cynicalskeptic Sep 15, 2015 9:34 PM

Frick-a-frack.  I'm wistful for a RPN 10c about now.

Automatic Choke's picture

hey big brother.... if you are curious, there is a damn good android emulator of the HP42S available (Free42).  really it is so good that it made me relax about accumulating more spares.  still not quite the same as a real calculator.     (the 42S, by the way, is the modernization/simplification of the classic HP41, the real hardcord very-programmable, reconfigurable, hackable unit with all the plug-in-modules that came out in the early 80s.)

RichardParker's picture

Bought a TI-36-x back in 1994 to get through undergrad.  I still use it in industry.  It's an awesome basic scientific calculator.  Would you believe it's held together with screws on the back and made in Italy. 

When's the last time you saw a calcuator made in Italy?


Tapeworm's picture

The TI basic trig calculators sold in the early 1980's are still in use in my shop. I remove the old thing from the front of the control panel and stick it on the new machine with the two sided carpet tape.

 The TI calculators of the past twenty years are not nearly as durable as those old things.

 For a cheap calculator the Casiofx-300ES is ok, but not nearly as reliable as the old TI stuff.

 I still have three ancient HP calculators but they were very costly as compared to the TI basics.

 I still love my SHARP calculator with the long screen and the algebraic entry.

Lucky Leprachaun's picture

HP was a world-beater when it was run by engineers.  Then they handed over the reigns to minorities (even though women aren't strictly a 'minority') and accountants. The shareholders deserve their punsihment. Any jump in share price will be short-lived, this company faces a terrible future.

Freddie's picture

Way back in the day when Dave and Bill were still alive - HP would only hire someone with some form of engineering background.  I think even in sales.  Maybe finance and accounting did not have engineers but I sewar that janitors there had engineering degrees. 

I had or still have HP stuff that would last forever.  The old laser jets were incredible. Their hard drives would run forever as well as their PCs and servers.

This is really sad.  Most corporations are shit but the old HP was special.

The board went totally insane loading up with some really goofy women.

Lanka's picture

Once bean-counters call the shots, companies deteriorate.

Lucky Leprachaun's picture

Correct.  Bean counters have their role.  As bean counters.

Larry Dallas's picture

Ever try to scan 100 pages on a HP flatbed scanner - without the feeder mechanism? I have.

Pieces of shit. One of my clients gave me one. Sold it on Craigslist:

The Canons are my staple now. Have had it for 8 years now.

omi's picture

All the HP test gear, built like a tank too. stuff from 80s still works.

Bunghole's picture

Maybe Meg can team up with John McAfee on his run for President, because this company is toast.

Agent P's picture

MegAfee...sounds like a good revenue model. 

Dave Thomas's picture

I'd love to party with John McAfee, but I'd rather live next to Peter Norton. lol.

Agent P's picture

FactSet shows the employee count at 302,000.  Not sure if that is before or after the earlier announced cuts.  It's a huge bitch! 

NoDebt's picture

"It's a huge bitch"

Let me tell you a story about a once huge tech company company called Unisys.....

If you prefer, I could tell you about one called Xerox instead.  Or one called Polariod.  Or perhaps Lucent (one of Carly's former companies).  I got more than a dozen of 'em.  Stop me when you see something you like.

CheapBastard's picture

... and then there's Nortel [once a great company]:


Nortel bankruptcy: $7.3B in remaining assets to be split among subsidiaries