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This Is Why Hewlett-Packard Just Fired Another 30,000
Remember when Hewlett-Packard announced it would fire 58,000 in February just so the company could spend even more billions on stock buybacks to make its shareholders filthier rich?
Alas, since then things have gone south not only for HPQ stock but also for the company's buybacks activity...
... and so Meg Whitman clearly needed to spend even more on buybacks. But where to get the money? Wait, here's an idea: lets fire another 30,000!
Sure enough, just out from Bloomberg:
- HPE CFO SEES 2.7BN RESTRUCTURING LEADING TO 25K-30K JOB CUTS
- HP: BY 2018 40% OF ES EMPLOYEES WILL BE IN HIGH-COST LOCATIONS
More details from Bloomberg on the latest restructuring bloodbath out of Hewlett-Packard :
- sees FY16 FCF $2b-$2.2b, with normalized FCF $3.7b.
- Sees FY16 adj. EPS $1.85-$1.95
- Sees FY16 operating cash flow $5b-$5.2b
- Sees cutting 25k-30k jobs as part of restructuring, with GAAP charges $2.7b
- Sees returning at least 50% of FCF to holders through ~$400m in dividends and the remaining in share repurchases
- Says will consider strategic partnerships, investments and M&A “in the right circumstances”
- Earlier, co. said sees HPE cloud rev. ~$3b in FY2015 growing over 20% with similar pace expected over next “several years”
- Said enterprise services business on target for 7%-9% oper. margin target and for reducing $1.4b in costs for 2015; sees similar cost reduction pace continuing next year
And so, dear 30,000 formerly-well paid computer engineers and technicians: welcome to the fast-food recovery. And don't forget to BTFD with all that spare cash.
Now, where is that 25bps rate hike because the economy is just too strong...
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Corporations know what is coming and it isn't pretty. It starts with a D, ends in a ion and makes great things look puny in comparison.
Ouch. Lift off was so close.
And this mythical "winter" is coming, with chill and whiteness.
Carly Fiorina destroyed HP and now she wants to run the country.
Go further in Carly's history. She shit all over AT&T as well.
Who in the fuck buys stock in a tech company where the company's best use of funds is to buy its own stock?!?! These dipships have nothing on the horizon. Fork and done.
How many employees do they have left? those are big cuts!
Of course teh markets rallied today cos we got short. More layoffs, more bullish, more pain for teh we...
Will the last taxpayer leave a note, and turn out the lights.
(oh clean out the fridge so it doesn't smell bad.)
You can thank Obozo's shitty economy.
Nothing says Recovery, like layoffs
Layoff / Closing List: http://www.dailyjobcuts.com
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Some very serious shit coming... biggest copper producer pulled all fy 2016 funds back. Layoffs announced and shut downs. Equip being shipped to south america properties. Corp accountants shitting big bricks.
Come join us for free at www.gunsgrubandgold.com everyone is welcome...
So.. You want $96 dollars for a set of replacement cartridges for your $35 printer - that will run out in 225 pages.. And you wonder why you need stock buy backs?
Peak recovery?
yeah thanks Carly ...
HP made bullet-proof products that would last forever..... I still buy HP workstation notebooks, especially now when I can get them for $100 on ebay ....
I sold HP products in the 1990s .... we had HP laserjet IIs that companies would run day & night .... virtually no maintenance ... when PCL5 came around then we had LJ IIIs .... and still companies would call for LJ I's, .... 100 pounds of invincible Printing ! .... this kind of product has no place in the World of Planned-Obsolesence .... I'm currently running an 8510w, 8530w, 2530p, Dell 6420 quad i7, hp printers hp scanners, hp pavilion desktops, .... all for less than what a Laserjet II would have cost in 1994, Total.
I still have my HP 15C scientific calculator I bought in 1983 to get me through college for my engineering degree. There is nothing better than a hand held calculator that uses Reverse Polish Notation!
Reverse polish! I haven't thought of that since 1988, when I saw one of my classmates throw his TI-55 with sticky keys, at the wall, in the middle of a physics exam. Ahh, the memories.
Nothing pisses me off more than when gizmos get glitchy out of the blue. Planned OBsolesence. F'n bullshit. Apple is ridiculously brazen about it.
SixIsNinE
I can be cheaper than you. I am still running some USED HP desktops that still perform well for what i need. They cost me 120.00 each and have held up for four years past their dead date. I don't do social media or stuff that eats worthless waste of what's happenin' now.
I still get good performance out of the old software that does CNC programming and am faster and more accurate than the new crap that my employees have.
I am not proud of this, it is just that being a cheap SOB still works.
I did take your advice and made offers on 2012-2013 versions of the high end HP workstation laptops as they will run on my old docks.
We would be too, if HP and Micros**t hadn't done a deal that no legacy printers etc. would get drivers from Vista onwards.
We buy Canon now for printing.
The last decent laptops we bought from HP were Elitebook range, they were well made. All the lower spec. stuff has been poor for years.
I remember well when Carly told us that we designed too much quality into the products. She had this phrase "Perfect Enough", we all just ignored her because we knew that CEOs come and go but customers will always be there a long as we keep the quality in the products. The thing CEOs never understood was that product decisions were made by individual engineers and we just let management take the credit.
ugly bitches carly and meg, but the tv talking heads were just saying last night: wait till carly shows her stuff, trump will melt ...well trump is still running a billion buck co, what the fuck has carly done with her golden parachute payoff money??
promoted beyond her ablities kick out of a job ..now she wants to run a country? nuts.
Tried, and failed. Your endless cycle of failed registration sucks.
HP used to make fantastic products. I remember getting their RPN calculators back in th 80's; built like tanks.
Then they decided to "add value" by removing more and more material from their consumer/"prosumer" products until they became unspeakably flimsy. They stopped holding things together with proper fastenings and starting hot melting/gluing it together, so if it died you had to cut it open to have any chance of fixing it.
I still have one of their Laserjet 4100 printers. I expect it to outlast anything they currently produce, and it must be going on 16+ years old now.
Fuck you, HP. You started selling shit and now you're eating through your seed corn. I just wish the "leaders" who did this to you had to pay some kind of penalty greater than getting $25M in a severance package.
+100. The path of HP is everything that is wrong about modern business models. I still have a 5MP laserjet (one of the first), still works great. Also have a number of 42S calculators.....my day-to-day workhorse and several spares. I don't think the present HP could even dream of making these products today.
How well will I profit, as a salesman, if I sell you something that works?
How valuable are you, as a customer in my database, if you never come back?
Confucious say "Buy another one, and if you can't afford it, f'n finance it!"
It's the growing trend. Look at appliances. Nothing works anymore.
Yep.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_obsolescence
http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/news/2015/09/15/ge-to-cut-houston-job...
" Yes we can! "
That's okay...Trump will bring back all those lost jobs...HAHAHAHAHA
Americans are so entitled to think they should be able to pay for their cost of living. They should live in slums... with a very strict HOA... and $12 celery.
They will dine on the planned inflation and like it.
I had never heard of these models before, but a quick eBay check yielded the following results:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Hewlett-Packard-42S-Advanced-Scientific-RPN-Calculator-in-mint-Shape-/111766853127?hash=item1a05d2d607
And good lord, that's twice what a good used TI-89 sells for, and this thing ^ is 28 years old.
You couldn't kill my HP45 calculator - bought in the early 70's. Was a bloody miracle in the days when slide rules were still being used.
Was stolen or I'd still be using it.
Frick-a-frack. I'm wistful for a RPN 10c about now.
hey big brother.... if you are curious, there is a damn good android emulator of the HP42S available (Free42). really it is so good that it made me relax about accumulating more spares. still not quite the same as a real calculator. (the 42S, by the way, is the modernization/simplification of the classic HP41, the real hardcord very-programmable, reconfigurable, hackable unit with all the plug-in-modules that came out in the early 80s.)
Bought a TI-36-x back in 1994 to get through undergrad. I still use it in industry. It's an awesome basic scientific calculator. Would you believe it's held together with screws on the back and made in Italy.
When's the last time you saw a calcuator made in Italy?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Texas-Instruments-TI-36X-solar-calculator-With-B...
The TI basic trig calculators sold in the early 1980's are still in use in my shop. I remove the old thing from the front of the control panel and stick it on the new machine with the two sided carpet tape.
The TI calculators of the past twenty years are not nearly as durable as those old things.
For a cheap calculator the Casiofx-300ES is ok, but not nearly as reliable as the old TI stuff.
I still have three ancient HP calculators but they were very costly as compared to the TI basics.
I still love my SHARP calculator with the long screen and the algebraic entry.
HP was a world-beater when it was run by engineers. Then they handed over the reigns to minorities (even though women aren't strictly a 'minority') and accountants. The shareholders deserve their punsihment. Any jump in share price will be short-lived, this company faces a terrible future.
Way back in the day when Dave and Bill were still alive - HP would only hire someone with some form of engineering background. I think even in sales. Maybe finance and accounting did not have engineers but I sewar that janitors there had engineering degrees.
I had or still have HP stuff that would last forever. The old laser jets were incredible. Their hard drives would run forever as well as their PCs and servers.
This is really sad. Most corporations are shit but the old HP was special.
The board went totally insane loading up with some really goofy women.
Once bean-counters call the shots, companies deteriorate.
Correct. Bean counters have their role. As bean counters.
Ever try to scan 100 pages on a HP flatbed scanner - without the feeder mechanism? I have.
Pieces of shit. One of my clients gave me one. Sold it on Craigslist:
The Canons are my staple now. Have had it for 8 years now.
All the HP test gear, built like a tank too. stuff from 80s still works.
Maybe Meg can team up with John McAfee on his run for President, because this company is toast.
MegAfee...sounds like a good revenue model.
We Megged some folks.
I'd love to party with John McAfee, but I'd rather live next to Peter Norton. lol.
FactSet shows the employee count at 302,000. Not sure if that is before or after the earlier announced cuts. It's a huge bitch!
"It's a huge bitch"
Let me tell you a story about a once huge tech company company called Unisys.....
If you prefer, I could tell you about one called Xerox instead. Or one called Polariod. Or perhaps Lucent (one of Carly's former companies). I got more than a dozen of 'em. Stop me when you see something you like.
... and then there's Nortel [once a great company]:
Nortel bankruptcy: $7.3B in remaining assets to be split among subsidiarieshttp://www.cbc.ca/news/business/nortel-bankruptcy-7-3b-in-remaining-asse...
R.I.P.
Oh... Oh... Ohhhh... Eastman Kodak!
Ironicly, the "sleepy/boring" chemicals side of Eastman (based out of Kingsport, TN) survived. They have still have about 15,000 employees
jinx
Eastman Chemical still pumping out pricey chemicals and such
Eastman Kodak.
I worked for Microsoft for 10 years, they got all lathered about "cloud", then some accountant in the back of the room with a squeaky little voice said "Um but sir for everybody who uses our cloud versions it looks like we only get 1/3rd the revenue we got from licensing onsite software".
SHUT UP LITTLE MAN
Going direct to plate, bypassing film kinda helped kill off kodak in the newspaper business.
The digital camera was developed by a guy that worked for Kodak. Kinda ironic.
For laughs I bought an old Kodak digital that was near the first of the originals. i wasted 120.00 on it, but have a real working piece of history.
Unisys...once known as Sperry Information Systems...previously known as Sperry Univac...a company that once built UNIVAC I, the second commerically available mainframe. Of course, before they were swallowed by Burroughs to become Unisys, they built the System 80. The Model 8 in particular, was, quoting Wiki, "a Sperry-badged, IBM/360-like mainframe actually developed and engineered by Mitsubishi in Japan."
Creative destruction? Hah! More like self immolation...witnessed it all first hand as a fresh grad just out of school. That was more than thirty years ago. Apparently the business mgmt schools haven't taught anything new under the sun since then.
What kind of a efficiently managed company has 88K redundant employees? WTF?
It's hard to get unexpectedly fired. I am prepared for it though; I'll simply sell all the stuff in the bottom of my closet like Dave Ramsey says as well as lost coins under my sofa cushions, all on Ebay, and make anywhere from $100k to $200k, right?
The guy/gal stuffing every computer and printer they sell with crap ware.
The guy/gal stuffing every computer and printer they sell with crap ware.
302,000 (Q2, 2015)
I predict that what is left of HP is bought by Texas Instruments in the next 3 years for $500,000. HP is dead and has been for some time.
Calculator monopoly...the regulators will never go for it.
Interesting (well, maybe) side note on that. I had an old TI BAII+ that recently went tits up. I opened the case before tossing it, only to discover the calculator contained all of one chip inside it...the chip was made by Toshiba...WTF?
What about Casio? I keep a CFX-9800G on reserve.
My HP calculator must be faulty. I'm trying to calculate +7% growth on 2b FCF, it keeps giving me the result "-30 000"
Integer overflow.
And it is damn near impossible to fuck up AT&T.
There are only so many industries that can have completely crap service and yet still have people send you a check every month.
ATT/ Lucent, how's that's NAFTA opening up the Mexican telecoms Carly?
That was the entire purpose of NAFTA, US Telecom lobbying for MEXICO by Carly.
I guess Slim Helu tricked her into donating to Bush.
so yer saying she's qualified ?
Carly Fiorina / Marissa Mayer 2016!
'Let's Put America Out of it's Misery!'
-or-
'You Wouldn't Let Your Family Pet Suffer For this Long!'
Carly Fiorina plans to make the US great by merging it with Mexico.
Israel.
I thought it was Venezuela with a future Merger & Acquisition with North Korea.
The upper management is already in place and they really know how to run gulags where the work sets you free.
needs to be repeated:
"Carly Fiorina destroyed HP and now she wants to run the country."
her face is like a hachet, trump was right..even with a dick in it she would be very hard to look at.
The FED and the economy distroyed HP and EVERYONE ELSE.
Not saying the top eschelon at HP wouldnt have been part of the "votes" they needed from the corperate polotitions.
Chalk it up as another part of O'Barry's Legacy.
Imagine working at HP and having to listen to Carly Fiorina bulldoze you...she is like a blow-torch...here are 4 minutes of Carly and Ralph Nader (if you can take it):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC4JDwoRHtk
OMG, lasted almost 30 seconds before I had to turn it off. Bitch needs a telephone pole up her ass to make her squeal.
Bear spray would work though.
She's impressive!
Look at that FACE!
mythical "winter"......hmmmmmm........seems reality has been here for 7 years and the myth is that we might go into a "recession" instead of the depression that is the methodical destruction of our middle class and savers
I think Keith Richards has the answer
http://ultimateclassicrock.com/keith-richards-snort-ashes/
My Dad loves the Rolling Stones
for my sister's sake, I hope he doesn't alter the will
'Cocaine is one hell of a drug'...
My husband has been a software architect for 30 years at the same company. Never before has he seen the sheer unadulterated panic in the executives. All indices are down and they are planning for the worst. Quality is being sacrificed for " just get some relatively functional piece of shit out the door we can sell". He is fighting because he has always produced a stellar product and refuses to have shit tied to his name ( 90% of competitor benchmarks fail against his projects). They can't afford to lay him off, but the first time in my life I see my husband want to quit.
What can I say? I picked the glorious field of Healthcare which has been all but completely butt raped by Obama. Yet, I am sad to see someone who clearly loved what he did, so angry and frustrated now as I've been for so long.
Miffed
Glad to hear there are still professionals out here making a living. Many of us dance a fine line about pleasing our masters in the face of getting products to market. It isn't just software.
The drug manufacturing piece of Healthcare should be safe for awhile. And if you are a trained Microbiologist I think I have seen a few openings in my area in the past few months.
We do what we do until we can't do it no more.
The drug manufacturing piece of Healthcare has been off shoring for close to ten years. I have colleagues that work in it. Everything they see suggests the process will accelerate, not reverse. Did not junk you.
I've been an engineer for 31 years - our managements's unspoken motto at the place I'm at (large company) is: "release it now, we'll put in the quality later". I try to put in as much as possible before the product is shoved out the door without killing myself doing it.
sounds like Microsoft
I made bad choices early so I have nothing to complain about. But I do think the situation for most people has been tough and beyond the control of an individual. The dog is creeping g up the chain of the economy now and it will get to the top so take that as some consolation.
Hey Miffed, you should see the petroleum industry engineers in Houston. My brother is a top notch petrol engineer as are his friends...all from Purdue or equiv with good experience almost all getting the ax. Panic, yes, lots of it. Luckily most of them were smart enough to save for times like this but some weren't are now are forced to sell their houses ... in this "Robust Rekovery"
Houston is a bloodbath for STEM grads even in biological sciences depite it being a msaaive health care city.
I told him apply to the post office and get $75k/year. They are hiring 95,000 for Christmas.
Healthcare butt raped by Obama? He handed healthcare money on a silver platter. Healthcare is the leading sector.
"Healthcare butt raped by Obama? He handed healthcare money on a silver platter. Healthcare is the leading sector.'
No that not true. Healthcare is getting hammered. With the much higher deductables fewer people are seeking regular treatment. The amount of money getting paid to doctors for Medicare, and other gov't subsidized plans has cut margins to zero (doctors basically work for free).
On the Pharma side, Everything is getting pushed to generics. Manage Healthcare an cutting out label brand drugs. and they are undercutting generics (ie like walmart does with its suppliers). Obamacare pretty much killed off drug discovery in the US since if manage care won't prescribe it, there is no point in developing new drugs. At best, Pharma is just working on what they already have in the pipleline (ie they started years ago).
He means the insurance industry is raking in the dough. Patients and docs are getting killed by this farce. I also am having to find some new doctors since two of my former ones don't accpet any form of Obamacare. There's also several big hospitals that don't accept it.
All this talk of Butt Rape (heeeheeheeeheee) making me think of... Greece
Okay okay... I'm better now.
Work in supply chain & logistics.... Top global company... Used to be hustle and bussel.... Place packed.... Now... (crickets) .... Still the July slowdown.
Lots of standing around... Clients exceptionally and noticibly slow.
No, he handed health INSURANCE $ on a platter. That's finance. He butt raped actual health CARE.
I interviewed at the HP Scientific Instruments Division back the early 90's. Didn't make the cut, was a awesome company back then making great products. Do they even make test equipment anymore?
Do they even make test equipment anymore?
HP test and measurement was spun off many years ago as Agilent. The electronics part of Agilent was spun off as keysight late last year.
HP basically makes computer equipement (PCs, servers, Printers) and software. Part of the problem is that computer hardware has been commodized. Since PCs are cheap and frequent replacements are need, People just by the cheapest models, expecting to toss it in a couple of years and by a newer model (aka the Flat screen TV model). So there is no justificaiton to use quality components. Same is become true with the Server market. Businesses have switched to virtualization and/or cloud systems. So instead of taking a boat load of time to rebuild a crashed server, the VM is just moved to another host.
HP has also adopted the Computer Associates business model (aka Borg). HP buys up new tech companies and sits on the tech and never improves it. It decays and gets replaced with a system from a competitor. It also has a habit of buying outdated tech companies that never generate the revenues HP thinks it will.
Here's the grand irony of it all: While the global economy is cratering under the mountain of debt that governments and their central banks continue to pile up in an "extend and pretend" ponzi scheme that will be all the worse the longer they perpetuate it, robotics is growing at such an increasingly exponential rate that it stands to take all human jobs — http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150805-will-machines-eventually-take-o...— leaving one to wonder if humanity's only function at this point (or perhaps only ever was) is to create superhuman intelligence that thereby renders our species' brief time on Earth meaningful — http://paleobiology.si.edu/geotime/main/foundation_life4.html
If so, I can live, and die, with that, hoping that the insanity of those who run the world doesn't crash the whole system before we're able to do so.
He should leave as soon as possible. HP is out of business already. The competitors sell much cheaper hardware with better quality (cheap China hardware with very good support for open source stuff). The fucking overpriced services by HP are not needed anymore, companies can fix stuff much cheaper now for themselves with trained professionals who are familiar with open source. Even in software business the end for closed source software is coming, it has no future, just look at M$ and that's how the whole fucking industry built on monopoly will look like pretty soon. Microsoft exploits every fucking single click and page load, you must be really stupid to use their operating system.
I mean your husband should look for a better job, even if he gets less money for it. It's better than nothing in the long term. HP is there to support sionists corporations and banks. Once they start to fall which will be rather soon....
He does not work for HP and if he did, he would have baled on them long ago. He keeps a close eye on the industry and knew for years HP was on its last gasp. His company is not a household name but well known in the industry.
His company's problem is open source has taken so much of the market. So the management wants to hook up his product to the open source and sell it. Unfortunately, his product runs massively faster and does far more simultaneous queries than open source was designed to do so by attaching it slows down the final product. His customers are used to driving a Ferrari and won't be happy with one with a Yugo engine. " But it's cheaper!" just won't fly. His managers insist he make it work. His explanation that it is not possible, given their specific requirements, falls on deaf ears.
When have talked about this for hours. What does one morally do in these situations? Do you let the thing explode and just make sure the shrapnel doesn't hit you or actively try to avert the disaster and keep the company fiscally sound? I have counseled him that my limit is I won't do anything to harm a patient. I will walk if asked. He must make up his own mind where his personal line is. I will stand by his decision.
Miffed
He isn't one of the people involved with the development of linpack by any chance?
That is how I felt when I was let go from SUN Microsystems. I got to play with some of the most interesting, advanced systems of their day... Eveything else has been down hill from there... Good to see ORacle actually bought them (and got them for a song)... because for all the bad press from industry that led to SUN's downfall, the rest of the stuff on the market even today is still absolute crap...
http://www.cray-cyber.org/systems/e10k.php
One of the early prototypes went straight into my lab for debugging failed processors...
The company I work for doesn't consider open source an important threat because our open source competition is so inferior.
Many people continue to use Microsoft because Office and Visual Studio are far better than any open source alternatives.
Open source sounds nice in theory, but in practice it often sucks.
Has the thought occurred to you that your husband's company is being butt-raped the owners?
Who owns Obama?
It's the same in most technology companies since the financial jugglers have taken over from the technical people.
It's not just technology companies in the US feeling the pain. Think of all the other industries (clothing, furniture as examples) that have been outsourced. Nearly everyone opted to buy "good enough and cheaper" instead of "high quality and much more expensive". Globalization provided price relief and thus helped kill American manufacturing jobs (it had help, like all the government regulations, of course) and the "solutions" would be devastating. Now we have robotics giving the cheap labor a run for the money. Even if manufacturing returns to the US, associated jobs may not make much of a recovery. I'm not certain there really is a solution short of civilization collapsing and everything becoming local, and I know I wouldn't like that, either.
While there have been both good and bad leaders of tech companies, I really believe they are the equivalents of pilots whose planes have lost power; some will manage a gentle crash landing, some won't. We seem to have reached some sort of global inflection point, the exit from which includes no really great path. The best leaders, perhaps, will be those who can minimize the pain.
Dandelions. Yes.
don't forget the unicorns & sunsets
Don't worry. The ex-HP slaves can now open Ebay accounts and sell all their worldly goods on Meg Whitman's creation.
It's the virtueous circle.
Thank God for those programs that allow for true entrepreneurs to make $10K a month from their parents' basements.
BDSM videos.....it's not JUST for wack jobs anymore !
Can't go on to the next stage of implementing the NWO without the destruction of the OWO.
And now, her job done, HP split into two hollowed out corporate smoking husks, Meg Whitman will leave to run for U.S. Senator in California. HP's Board of Directors should be manacled and sent off to cells in Supermax for their criminal incompetence in hiring Whitman.
HP's board over the past 15 years or so has to have been one of the worst. Just horrible.
When Obola was first installed - I thought the USA would end up like the old USSR. Totally corrupt where everything starts to fall apart because of corrosive effects of dishonesty.
The USA would break up. The military brass who did nothing will be out of jobs and pensions but will get involved with the intel gangs after the fall of America.
Pensioners will end up with nothing.
The only thing keep it afloat is money printing and a fake stock market.
They should just close the front door and sell the name, if they think it is still worth anything.
When Carly was CEO of HP, she instituted a draconian "pay for performance" plan. She ended up leaving with over $146 Million because she was smart enough not to specify "what type" of performance.
Up up and away!
http://s9.postimg.org/qni28mqfz/image.jpg
Defecation?
Just to be contrary to others, Destruction? Demolition? Devolution? Depopulation?
Ahhh, Depression. Well, that really doesn't sound so bad now does it?
America doesn't need a Middle Class, anyway.
And the world really doesn't need 6 or 7 billion people Some say TPTB want to eliminate both the American middle class and most of the world's people.
What's coming may make the movie "Idiocracy" seem like heaven.
That population reduction thingy is much more of a part of the plans of TPTB than we think.
Those are some sick mothertruckers and we had better believe that they think we're all just a little bit too inconvenient for their purposes.
TPTB goals are outlined in the Georgia Guidestones. The most likely means of population reduction will be a pandemic, as attrition from wars is apparently too slow. We are on the road to Elysium (the movie), where TPTB live in a pristine, man-made world 20 miles above the earth, and the slaves toil on the degraded earth below to supply TPTB. I do not believe that TPTB will succeed.
WTF do dandelions have to do with the gaping hole where our economy used to be?
New Belgium Brewing in Colorado released a Dandelion Ale in 2009 that was a marvelous drinkable delight ! Unfortunately it was only a seasonal rotator, not to be seen again.... alas, if they had released it nationally, mayhaps things might have gone another way....
Damion is coming?!
And so it goes..... and so it goes..... and so it goes.......
Once again the "jobless recovery" bites us in the ass- WoooHooo the economy cannot absorb a 25 basis point rise in rates- Woo Hoo let's a have a stock market rally!!!
JANET: hey meg, cut those jobs right before my announcement to give me some cover
MEG: no prob, see u for 18 on saturday?
JANET: no doubt, steaks & opus 1 will be on me, umm, i mean the taxpaying dopes for ur help
MEG: fuck um! we have been for years anyway ... we'll do a shot of louis XIII to them, ON THEM!!!
Dow 20,000.....
Hell....HP 20,000
Send in the Robots...... (sung to the tune of Send in the Clowns)
so when they say "and take your desktop with you"
they mean more than one thing?
They mean "duck and cover"
yeah,chew on that Mr.5.1%(monthly Jobs report)
ZH is always so glass half-empty.
By my reckoning, this is great news for anyone who should happen to have technical difficulties with their "smart" phone while in a taxi.
Hey Meg, offshore the remainder of your workforce to save even more $$$ !!!
all former and soon to b former employeesof HP repeat after me....
"Welcome to McDonald's - may i take your order please....?"
Uber is radio advertising.
Brilliant -- the only radio in most people's lives nowadays is in their car; so why would they need Uber then?
Miss the days of "would you like that supersized?
Forget it -- that statement will be uttered by an automated kiosk.
We WERE going to raise rates but now....gosh darnit, we have to wait because our great economy got a tad bit soft here.
What? Laying off 30,000 while going merrily on with nice dividends and share buybacks? Probably due to minimal CAPEX and R&D in favor of dividends/share buybacks causing their situation in the first place.
Why don't they just announce that we are demonstrating EVERYTHING THAT IS FUCKED UP IN AMERICA !
This is how you drive up the stock price so you can now unload it on pension funds. Gotta put some more hot air in this decomposing whale, another win for China. WW3 is being waged right now and we are losing battle after battle.
30,000 STEM americans without a job, time to open the H1Bs and bring another 60,000 Indians
Touche!
When in doubt:
1. Import foreigners.
2. Cut wages of citizens.
More, more, more, more foreigners!!!!!m
I was visiting relatives recently and was watching Fast Times at Ridgement High with my niece and nephew. After one of the scenes in the mall where all the stores and fast food places were run by teenagers, my teen niece asked, "Is that for real?" What, the pot smoking, partying and girl chasing? I asked. "No", she said, "Where teenagers had all those jobs working fast food and in stores at the mall. I don't think I've seen teenagers working like that, and none of my friends can get a job in retail or fast food." It was kind of stunning when I thought about it, but I recovered quickly and told told her that "the economy is so good now that adults choose to work in cheap retail starter jobs, so kids can stay at home and play video games and apps on their phones, while watching Netflix and getting no real world experience.
All those engineers choosing to pursue other opportunties. This is not the Change you are looking for...