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Inside Janet Yellen’s Brain At 4am (Part II)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Bill Bonner via Bonner & Partners (annotated by Acting-Man's Pater Tenebrarum),

Master of the Universe

And so, we return to poor Janet Yellen. Today, much of the world turns its lonely eyes to the Fed and its chieftain. The Fed has as much as promised to make the blind see and the lame walk. It claims that it – and it alone – is capable of improving the U.S. economy and, by extension, the world economy.

People will earn more money. They will live better. And they will have less to fear from financial calamities, such as those that happened before the Fed was set up in 1913.

In the popular mind – if there is such a thing – it is further believed that the Fed “won’t allow” a major bear market, because “it would be bad for the economy.” The Fed rules the entire universe of commerce, finance, and investment.

 

yellen-fed-580

Never has a move in administered rates by a few basis points exercised people as much as this time around. Thousands of pages must have been filled with exhortations by assorted armchair planners as to “what the Fed should do” over the past few weeks. The usual suspects were pleading for more easy money.

 

 

DJIA

Over the past two days the DJIA has actually broken out of its triangle to the upside – normally a short term positive signal, but it remains to be seen how the market reacts to the FOMC decision – via STockCharts, click to enlarge.

 

Janet Yellen rules the Fed. But who rules Janet Yellen? Yes, the weight of extravagant claims and preposterous promises now falls on one woman: Janet Louise Yellen of Brooklyn, New York.

During working hours, she holds her head up and talks the mumbo jumbo of a normal, confused economist. But late at night, after tossing and turning in bed, her thoughts must focus more clearly. In moments of pure, enlightened terror, she must see the impossible position she has been put in.

“How am I supposed to know at what price credit should change hands? Of course, it is impossible,” she must think.

“Markets, not bureaucrats, set prices. Try to do it any other way and you always end up with a mess.

“And yet, here I am. I have a responsibility. I am head of the world’s largest banking cartel. I am charged – by law – to do four things.

“At least this is what the Fed’s website tells me…

“One, conduct the nation’s monetary policy by influencing money and credit conditions in the economy in pursuit of full employment and stable prices.

“Two, supervise and regulate banks and other important financial institutions to ensure the safety and soundness of the nation’s banking and financial system and to protect the credit rights of consumers.

“Three, maintain the stability of the financial system and contain systemic risk that may arise in financial markets.

“Four, provide certain financial services to the U.S. government, U.S. financial institutions, and foreign official institutions, and play a major role in operating and overseeing the nation’s payments systems.

 

Fed-rate-decision-668x501

And this is how it’s done in practice …

 

 

ZIRP for Zip?

“I shouldn’t ask questions. I should just do the job.

“Full employment? Yes… I think we’re on the right track.

“Stable prices? Where did that come from? I didn’t know that was in there. No question – we nailed that one. Prices are more stable than we wanted.

“But we were aiming for 2% inflation. Well, how do you like that, we hit that target without even trying?

“But if the economy is as healthy as I say it is, it isn’t going to be bothered by a quarter-point rate hike. And if it isn’t as healthy… and the rate hike throws it into a tizzy… then all those seven long years of ZIRP did zip for the economy and rates may as well be raised anyway, no?” (Janet smiles; she is pleased with her turn of phrase.)

“Wait… maybe the employment picture isn’t as good as I’ve been told. There’s that former assistant of mine, Andy Levin, shooting off his mouth at Bloomberg.

“He says the U.S. is probably about two years away from achieving full employment… and that millions of Americans working part time would take full-time employment if they could get it. And many others out of the labor market might be induced back in if they felt they had a chance at a job.

“And there are all these clowns on TV explaining why I should or why I shouldn’t raise rates… or why I will or why I won’t.

 

hawkish

Leaving the birds guessing.

“One tells me the unemployment rate is not as good as it sounds. Another says China is headed for a serious depression. Another worries that world trade is slowing.

“One says speed up. Another says slow down. They think I’ve got some kind of machine here where all I have to do is to stomp on the accelerator and the economy will race ahead. But if I had that, I would’ve pushed the pedal to the metal a long time ago. It doesn’t work that way…

 

The Biggest Mess in History

“And… oh no… maybe the whole idea is wrong…

“Maybe I didn’t read the job description closely enough. I mean, maybe you don’t get stability, full employment, safety, and so forth by pulling on these levers and turning these knobs.

“Maybe being a central banker is not like being a car mechanic. Maybe it’s more like being a judge.

“Judges don’t have to come up with new tools, like quantitative easing. They’re not supposed to use unconventional methods. They’re not expected to improve the world, for Pete’s sake.

“Judges are just supposed to apply the law and come to the same judgment tomorrow that they made yesterday. The key feature of a judge’s role is a lack of innovation. You murder someone… the judge throws the book at you. Easy-peasy.

 

judge job

The moment the book lands

“Murder is murder every day of the year… Saturdays and Sundays included. It doesn’t matter what the unemployment rate is.”

“Judge’s don’t have the world watching… anticipating their next move; their next move is supposed to be just like their last move. And they don’t have to care what happens after they render judgment. Their job is simply to render the correct judgment… every time… just like the last time.”

“I bet judges sleep better at night.”

“Maybe that’s the way central banking is supposed to work, too. It’s not for me to worry about the jokers who have gambled on low rates. What do I care if their stocks go down?”

“But wait… if they go down too much… too fast… we could have… hmmm… a situation on our hands. And it could develop into a very big mess… the biggest mess in world history.”

“Oh my… is it morning yet?”

 

alarm-5101

 

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Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:51 | 6560005 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

Yellen is today's Paul Volcker.  But instead of raising rates to fight inflation she is raising rates to begin reversing a monetary policy that has led to a deflationary dead-end.

 

Discuss.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:01 | 6560035 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

She ain't no Paul Volcker.  And the only inflation the Fed ever cared about "fighting" is wage inflation.  There ain't much of that around to fight these days.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:06 | 6560056 Looney
Looney's picture

Inside Yellen’s brain:

Today is the Circuit Breaker day. Limit down, in Catholic terms… OR… Limit up, in Islamic terms. ;-)

Looney

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:10 | 6560078 Bernoulli
Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:13 | 6560084 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

This article is so unreal. Reptilians don't have thoughts like that, it's more like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-o-4txOiVE

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 12:59 | 6560697 messymerry
messymerry's picture

Why does that picture of the Janet in profile remind me of the Holy Inquisition???  She definitely does not look like the kindly grandmother yard gnome there.  She reminds me of Bernardo Gui in the 1980s movie, "The Name of the Rose" with Sean Connery.

OBTW:  This is an excellent movie.  Make time for it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_zRHBL7RUY

;-D 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:11 | 6560080 Life of Illusion
Life of Illusion's picture

But who rules Janet Yellen?

Inside the FED Stanley Fischer.

 

Outside the FED ..

http://www.group30.org/members.shtml

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:08 | 6560074 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Volker didn't have to worry about setting monetary policy at the end of the era of global expansion.

How does one end a ponzi?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:53 | 6560013 youngman
youngman's picture

I hope she is not having her period...she could get mean....

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:56 | 6560030 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

she's ancient... probably hasn't had one in 30 years, plus some think she is a man

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:02 | 6560047 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

"The dyke is crumbling."
"Let's put a band-aid on it."
"Ain't no band-aid gonna hold back that gusher."
"Maybe if we made it 0.25" wider, that would hold it..."

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:54 | 6560015 ABB
ABB's picture

Inside the brain there is a daisy.

She is pulling out the leafs one by one. 

At the end if the outcome is not what the goldman wanted, tough luck.

Go with goldman!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:54 | 6560018 Tucson Tom
Tucson Tom's picture

At least that clock will be right more times today than Janet!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:54 | 6560021 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

LOL!  don't overthink this, Janet is a puppet for a criminal enterprise.  She does not have a brain or have to think for that matter.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:38 | 6560160 Grandad Grumps
Grandad Grumps's picture

Agreed. What is to be done was set in motion a long, long time ago for a specific putpose.

Ole Yellin sleeps well because the decision is not hers and the only issue to be debated is how to best sell it and position the important parties.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:54 | 6560022 Budnacho
Budnacho's picture

Im not certain what's in her head but I am sure that other parts have a whiff of Mothballs....

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:57 | 6560031 FPearl602
FPearl602's picture

All Janet will do is monitor her text messages from Lloyd B. and Jamie D....nothing else matters.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:01 | 6560043 Arnold
Arnold's picture

The sacrifice is the key.

Good Bye Deutsche Bank.

 

https://www.db.com/usa/

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:59 | 6560039 youngman
youngman's picture

alls that matters is who can front run with insider information...watch the markets blast off a 5 minutes before the anouncement....they will have the news already

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 09:59 | 6560040 ghostzapper
ghostzapper's picture

The idea that the constitutionally-illegal US Federal Reserve banking syndicate is potentially vulnerable to civil actions at law is an important new development.

Despite DC establishment views to the contrary, it is becoming clear that the individuals, agents, agencies, constituent corporations, primary dealers and private owners of the US Federal Reserve nexus actually have no lawful or legitimate claim to legal immunity.

The US Fed (the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve) hides a trillion dollars a year using its exclusive handling of records and disbursement of the US Treasury security auction accounts.

The Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve operates as a US government contractor as defined by the US Supreme Court, and not as an agency of the US government .

The Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve’s violation of the law that all profit of the Federal Reserve belongs to the US government, negates any claim to US government immunity.

Indeed, by its routine working actions, the Fed repeatedly violates the (civil) False Claims Act (the “Lincoln Law”).

The violations arise because the Fed knowingly and intentionally conceals from the US government approximately six hundred times a year, a total amount of money equal to the value of the total deficit spending of the US government.

The Fed knowingly engages in a contorted accounting scam. It uses hidden, unpublished and unaudited records to conceal its perfidy.

The Federal Reserve Bank of New York has exclusive control of the redemption records. This authority is used to control the receipts and disbursements of all US Treasury security auctions. These records have never been independently audited.

The profit is hidden from the United States in violation of the Federal Reserve Act of 1913, which specifies that all net profit of the Federal Reserve system is the property of the United States (the American people; not the DC private corporation).

It has often been argued that a few old families own the Fed. Actually, twenty-one very visible Primary Dealers own the private corporation which is called the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve. The old families own, control, or are major shareholders (through opaque layered trusts) of these visible Primary Dealers.

The Primary Dealers include Barclays Capital, Citigroup Global Markets, Credit Suisse Securities (USA), Deutsche Bank Securities, Goldman Sachs, HSBC Securities (USA), J.P.Morgan Securities, Morgan Stanley, RBS Securities, and UBS Securities. The full list is here: http://bit.ly/1VVDzIr

Each Primary Dealer has violated the False Claims Act by receiving and hiding profit from the Federal Reserve’s operations. Any unlawful practice by any US government employee, agent or entity negates any claim of sovereign immunity.

The Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve itself is subject to court process as respondent superior, and as an indispensable party for any systemic unlawful operation of any Federal Reserve bank.

A US government agency which is established for the benefit of a corporate enterprise in violation of its charter of creation is a legal nullity. It is void from its inception and negates any claim to sovereign immunity.

Federal Rule of Procedure 19 authorises joinder of the owners of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve as indispensible parties and recipients of purloined funds.

Since the trail of embezzled money leads to the Primary Dealers, each member of that group is an owner of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve.

The ancestors of the 21 Primary Dealers who own the private corporation called the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve, contrived and established a scam to acquire vast profit (to receive funds from deficit spending securities) with the full knowledge that this money was and is the fruit of a scam. The scam consists in covertly embezzling the profit from all US Treasury security auctions.

The Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve is a full and willing accomplice in the scam and deliberately provides concealment of its action from public awareness.

This summary is only that: a summary. It deals in generalities of civil law which, as they become transparent, will gain traction on US Federal courtroom floors in specific cases.

Any US Federal court has legitimate jurisdiction over any properly-settled Complaint which addresses the hidden embezzlement and accounting scams which, since 1913, have come to shelter under the cover of the private corporations called the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:12 | 6560085 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

You sir are an optimist. 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:43 | 6560173 Grandad Grumps
Grandad Grumps's picture

The people have no power to bring justice in this case. It is however my belief that the Fed will bring itself down over the next 7 years, cause more harm and then a global Fed-type organization will be presented as the ultimate solution ... and run by the very same organizations and owned by the very same people.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:13 | 6560088 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

The Fed is like the weather.  Everyone complains about it, nobody does anything about it.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 11:44 | 6560334 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

thank you ghostzapper from the comments it appears most of us have given up hope, good to know hope while faint may flicker yet.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:05 | 6560059 Hohum
Hohum's picture

Here's to you, Ms. J Yellen.  ZIRP hasn't left and gone away.  Hey hey hey.  Hey hey hey.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:08 | 6560073 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

At least with Ben we knew at 4am he was buggering a small boy

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:16 | 6560096 BeaverCream
BeaverCream's picture

Thinking about Bagels and Steven Spielberg naked.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:17 | 6560098 aliki
aliki's picture

inside janet's brain = all i fucking care about is my brown paper bag, year-end bonus from GS, MS, BAC, etc. is only 3 months away SO DON'T MAKE A POLICY (BONUS) MISTAKE

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:18 | 6560100 venturen
venturen's picture

She thinks about how smarrt she is and her retirement plan of telling people how smart she is $200k at a time to the very people she is supposed to regulate. 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:26 | 6560130 pocatello
pocatello's picture

.

.

.

I love Bill Bonner.

.

Great article, Bill!  Thanks for your humor and skills!

.

 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:28 | 6560136 Rodders75
Rodders75's picture

She is SO fit

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 10:48 | 6560179 Arnold
Arnold's picture

Possibly the most bitingly sarcastic thing I've ever read.

Top 5 anyway.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 11:27 | 6560277 BeaverCream
BeaverCream's picture

No no, he meant F.I.T.

Fugly International Terrorist.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 11:29 | 6560281 brada1013567
brada1013567's picture

Watching the talking heads on TV reminds me of the rumble in "Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy"

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 11:42 | 6560308 Pancho de Villa
Pancho de Villa's picture

The Creature From Jekyll Island, G. Edward Griffin's Classic Exposes the FED for What it is! An Unconstitutional, Racket Owned by Banksters, Screwing the Peoples of Los Estados Unidos since 1913. Read it!

 

Why do you think Dr. Ron Paul wants to End the Fed?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 11:51 | 6560374 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Fisher suggested they pay down their balance sheet, his work estimates they could draw down a third without impacting interest rates, and more importantly they would be less vulnerable to rate increases. without seeing their balance sheet in real time we really have no idea what it is, (much like Chinas gold reserves, the actual data trails the shift by months) yes we are more transparent, just not temporally. bottom line they can raise rates if they sell (deferred) assets. and as the exit door opens the entrance door does as well, just not so you can see it. bottom bottom line they raise rates and employ some QE4. the beard of the beard is buying Chinas bonds through Belgium, and not sure on which balance sheet they are hiding that one if any balance sheet at all. in world of over capacity excess production is dumped into the ocean, just as it was after ww2. the decade after that was pretty awful economically, it always is after a war. the post vietnam war economy was a real stinker as well and there was a lot of inflation. stay tuned there is a whole lot of lying going here.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 13:09 | 6560728 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

Judging by what this psychopath has done to savers and those stuck on fixed incomes, she has no conscience, and likely sleeps just fine up there in her temple.

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