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QE Trade "On" - Stocks & Bonds Soar After Yellen Admits "Quite Uncertain" On Economy

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Here comes QE4... *YELLEN: 'QUITE UNCERTAIN' HOW ECONOMIC OUTLOOK EVOLVES

 

 

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Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:53 | 6561421 lehmen_sisters
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Shits getting good. :: grabs popcorn ::

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:53 | 6561424 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Yellow Yellin chickens out!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:23 | 6561617 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Remember all the talk & debate about why Yellen was picked awhile back? Things like no one would beat a grandma looking type when the SHTF? No one could lynch an old lady when the time came?

Is that still true?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:25 | 6561630 pods
pods's picture

Well I'd gouge out her eyeballs and skullfuck her, but I am a *bit* different than most.

pods

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:27 | 6561639 BandGap
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Thank you for your interesting thoughts on this provocative topic.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 16:04 | 6561880 Creepy A. Cracker
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QE Infinity up next...

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 16:05 | 6561883 ThaBigPerm
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That didn't last long.  DOW & S&P down for the day.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:57 | 6561467 Kilgore Trout
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Everybody grabbing up popcorn for the last 6 years, and it's a damn industrial hygiene film on endless replay.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:34 | 6561660 BullyBearish
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She has ratcheted up the war against the middle class in this country versus the global bankers by refusing to normalize interest rates.  Middle class savers need the income from appropriate rates but instead Smellen has ensured the continuance of the income going to bankers and their mega-asset holding friends.  She is STEALING the wealth of the middle class...WAKE UP!!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:42 | 6561704 cougar_w
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The Dow will add 25% before year end, and Janet will be on the cover of Time magazine. As was Bernanke before her. And Greenspan before him.

The middle class savers will be allowed a little something extra in their tax returns, maybe $2,500 for their trouble.

It looks normal enough only because the smoke hides the flames. Thus it rolls along for another year -- on fire.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:54 | 6561426 Seasmoke
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The more she talks. The more she slips. Mr. Yellen is no Greenspan or Bernanke.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:03 | 6561501 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I liked the Fed better when they were just a black box that policy decisions came out of.  No explanations, no transparency.  Sounds backwards, but it was better that way.

If they had to change course they could do so without the added complication (and confidence-sapping embarassment) of having to explain why everything they were thinking in the previous meetings was just dead wrong.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:04 | 6561507 Salah
Salah's picture

doesn't matter...they're going to put it through during an election year, when the obvious winner is the Party not in power

OLD MEXICAN PRESIDENTIAL-TRANSITION TRICK: LET LOOSE THE SHIT SO THE 99% WILL 'TAKE HEART' AND KNOW THE NEW GUY WILL DO BETTER.

IT FUCKING WORKS EVERYTIME IT WAS USED.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561435 slaughterer
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All Yellen needs is the nod from Hatzius and it is NIRP/QE4.  Fed has to soak up the Chinese Treasury sales somehow.  

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561454 DeProgrammed
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I'm no eCONomist, but I just don't understand this. Stocks up on poor economic outlook? Clue me in?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:00 | 6561482 Superdave532
Superdave532's picture

Hahaha hahahahaha haha hahahaha haha HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 


(PS, I'm not laughing at you. That's the explanation.) 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:19 | 6561590 DeProgrammed
DeProgrammed's picture

With no sarc intended, that actually makes perfect sense.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 16:35 | 6562085 GernB
GernB's picture

Why has the market gone straight up like a rocket. Because bad == good, because bad economic conditions mean more QE. Ironically good == good because it means the this year the economy will finally reach escape velocity. Never mind that I've heard the same thing for the last four years and it's never true. So if bad == god and good == good then the market never goes down.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:00 | 6561483 bnbdnb
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Can load up on cheap debt to do stock buybacks. Dividends still outperforming bonds.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:01 | 6561492 BandGap
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QE = free money to spend in the market. So the worse the news (or cornfusion) the more the people with access to the pipeline think they are going to get a Fed handout.

 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:08 | 6561537 FeelinFine
FeelinFine's picture

Managers buy back the stock with debt. They just so happen to hit their bonus targets (share price targets) to enrich themselves. They Cut more jobs to mask stagnant/negative earnings and then issue the dividend. Of course nobody asks how they will service the debt or invest in capex for future projects or manage a dividend stream with less money. But hey BTFD MORAN! Old Yeller I mean Yellen will buy all your shit at face value should things go south (QE to infinity!) The only people hurt in the end will be stock holders, the taxpayer, people who've lost jobs, savers who suffer from surpressed interest rates etc.

Buy hey the manager got his american dream! You can too if only you work hard enough you lazy bastards! /sarcasm

 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:13 | 6561563 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

DeProgrammed- All you need to know is the free money green light is on again so everyone on Wall St just got a bouquet of daisies shot up the ass!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 16:32 | 6562078 LongRifle0311
LongRifle0311's picture

Everyone knows that keeping rates low means shitty returns on the 10 and 30 year.  Better buy more stock if you want to see any return for your investment right?  At least until the tulip mania of stock buying as a hedge against low interest rates fails and everyone loses.  Actually, it's a lose-lose either way, with Wall Street losing more with a rate hike and Main Street losing more over the long run with keeping rates low.  Higher rates would have been bad for stocks, thus the calm before the announcment, so now that the fix is in, it's stock buying time again.  This isn't real investment based on value, but on potetential short-term gain assuming everyone else will do the same thing and pour capital into stocks.

As I told my colleagues after the announcement, "Can we get this crash on already so we can start the rebuilding process."  True middle class citizens who cannot afford to "invest", but make "too much" for government subsidies are seeing 0.15% returns on savings that are absolutely destroying the ability to set aside wealth for future retirement, small business start-up, college, etc... (speaking from personal experience)

I'm beginning to think that all those on here who joke about a QE4 or QE-Infinity are not far off.  Clearly the Fed believes that there is no room to raise and if we are experiencing a true global recession/depression like it appears, more QE will only slow the inevitable, not reverse the course.  Even though the endgame is still collapse, at least it buys a little more time for capital controls, government intervention, war, whatever.  What failing and/or corrupt government in the world has decided to be honest with their citizens and change direction at the 11th hour?  Argentina? Venezuala? Weimer Germany?  No.  They will try and keep this boat afloat until they feel the chilling water of certain death and at that point, everyone flees to their zombie bunkers in New Zealand.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 16:46 | 6562146 GernB
GernB's picture

It's not a question of what he Fed believes. They have a mandate to target inflation and employment rates. They have specific tools to do so. It's worse than you think. It's like a frankenstien monster. They don't act on belief, they act on a set of instructions, a program that is based on theories that simply cannot be scientificaly proven (because you cannot isolate variables or create a control group in an economy.) They will continue to run the program until the economy collapses or our government changes the mandate or tools.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561455 Spivmeister
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Good Lord , this woman is pathetic and a bad speaker!

 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:03 | 6561499 khnum
khnum's picture

Bernanke was also full of shit but at least he could wing it

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:05 | 6561521 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Like I've been saying since she ascendad to the high priesthood, the woman just DOESN'T HAVE THE CHOPS.  I'm sorry, but she just doesn't.  Weak and ineffectual.  In short, somebody you can have a high degree of confidence in, right?

 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:14 | 6561569 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

So, the perfect guy to take the fall?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:10 | 6561541 Spivmeister
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At least Greenspan didn´t say 2 percent 20 times in one sentence , this "thing" is talking like an algo.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561458 mtndds
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We are fucked.  I think they just screwed the pooch.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:35 | 6561666 Mr. Bones
Mr. Bones's picture

Just?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561463 q99x2
q99x2's picture

QE4, negative interest rates and WWIII BTFD until you see those mushroom clouds.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561465 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Wait a minute.  Why is the Fed only going to continue to do things that benifit their shareholders and not the stakeholders?  That would be like a large corporation borrowing large amounts of money to boost the stock price for a short-period of time.  That would never happen.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:58 | 6561471 mademesmile
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snort.

I'm taking the very last sencence with a dose of snark.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:56 | 6561466 mademesmile
mademesmile's picture

And, I thought employment was doing good according to Obama?

Can she why higher interest and less purchasing power is a GOOD thing for most wage earners?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:57 | 6561468 khnum
khnum's picture

Bad news is good news and instead of technical information we now rally 200 odd points on the admission by a fed head they dont have a fucking clue....this will not end well

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 14:59 | 6561472 JustObserving
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If anyone is stupid enough to believe all of Old Yeller's lies on inflation and unemployment, I have the Brooklyn Bridge to sell to you really cheap.

The US is screwed by its infinite debt of over $210 trillion or over $1,720,000 per taxpayer.

NIRP, here we come.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:02 | 6561497 Bear
Bear's picture

Does anyone really question the 'Quite Uncertain' comment ... Of course they don't have a clue and they would look really stupid if they said otherwise 

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:05 | 6561502 brada1013567
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Suwee, suwee, suwee, moar QE!

 

Get the hogs to the trough!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:04 | 6561510 PleasedToMeatYou
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FOMC Reaction: VIX Crushed As Bonds & Bullion Rip, USDollar & Stocks Slip

QE Trade "On" - Stocks & Bonds Soar After Yellen Admits "Quite Uncertain" On Economy

Evidently, a lot can happen in 20 minutes.  Bwaaaahahahahahahaha!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:08 | 6561535 khnum
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When it does go belly up it'll be quicker than a rabbit gets rooted

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:05 | 6561511 brada1013567
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They should hire Gartman, Cluelessness loves company!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:11 | 6561550 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Back to QE! YAY everyone, free money comin again YAY!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:11 | 6561552 divedivedive
divedivedive's picture

So - what would happen if all the savers pulled their money out of the banks and put it in their mattresses ?

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:13 | 6561562 RealityCheque
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"Quite uncertain" = "help me out here, I haven't got a fuckin' clue!"

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:15 | 6561573 SheepDog-One
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We're quite uncertain here, but don't worry, we got this shit!

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:50 | 6561766 Osmium
Osmium's picture

ANY problem can be fixed by throwing a shitload of someone else's money at it.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:16 | 6561579 TheZeitgeist
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PRINTER SUPPORT TECH: How may I help you with your printer today?

OLD YELLER: Faster. Want print faster.

PRINTER SUPPORT TECH: I can probably help you with that, how many pages per minute does your printer need to print, would you say?

OLD YELLER: 7.126 x 10^10

PRINTER SUPPORT TECH: ...

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:27 | 6561637 jakesdad
jakesdad's picture

more like:  "how can I make the auto-repeat faster on my keyboard?  it's not adding zeroes to my spreadsheet fast enough!"

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:25 | 6561632 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

In the old days, when there used to be a rule of law, including the laws of cause and effect, a huge establishment official saying that she was uncertain about the economy would have been very bad news.  In today's world of banker whores hoping to lap up some more slop at the Fed trough, it's a snortin' good time.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:32 | 6561657 Talleyrand
Talleyrand's picture

Smart money going into Au and Ag. For the moment, anyway, "soaring" at twice rate of the stock and bond indices.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:34 | 6561663 BeaverCream
BeaverCream's picture

Wait how can you be quite uncertain about something you're supposed to be centrally planning?  In the business world, you tell your boss you're "uncertain" about the future of the company and you're fucking fired. In the REAL WORLD you don't get paid to be fucking uncertain, you get paid to be 100% positive and to implement a sound procedural directive to reach a goal.  What the fuck are we paying these fuckers for, they're just going along for the ride with the rest of us?  Who the fuck is the captain of this ship?  Let's fuckin fire these worthless pieces of shit already.

Thu, 09/17/2015 - 15:51 | 6561775 coast
coast's picture

actually, the S and PeePee is in the red right now... minus 5

Fri, 09/18/2015 - 14:36 | 6561882 honestann
honestann's picture

Time to update this article!  People are catching on!  SP500 down for day!  And down tomorrow too!

The Yellen has no clothes!  Federal Reserve is stuck on zero!

Keynesianism proven to be a complete fraud!

As if we didn't know that already.

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