Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein Reveals He Has Lymphoma

Tyler Durden's picture

A little over a year after Jamie Dimon said he has throat cancer, the "other" big bank CEO, Lloyd Blankfein just sent out a memo, in which he revealed he has too has cancer in the form of lymphoma, which however is "highly curable", and will continue "leading" Goldman during treatment.

The full memo:

To my colleagues, our clients and our shareholders,


Late this summer after several weeks of not feeling well, I underwent a series of tests, which culminated in a biopsy last week. After the biopsy, I was told by my doctors that I have lymphoma. Fortunately, my form of lymphoma is highly curable and my doctors' and my own expectation is that I will be cured.


My treatment plan will include chemotherapy over the next several months in New York. My doctors have advised me that during the treatment, I will be able to work substantially as normal, leading the firm. I will, however, reduce some of my previously planned travel during the treatment period.  I have discussed this approach with our Board of Directors and they are supportive.


There are many people who are dealing with cancer every day. I draw on their experiences as I begin my own.  I have a lot of energy and I'm anxious to begin the treatment.  I appreciate your support and good wishes.



So the two most important US bank CEOs both get cancer within a year of each other?

We wish Lloyd well - there are more appropriate venues to be held accountable (to both god and the people) than a hospital room.

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order66's picture

Sucks for Lloyd but if there was anyone who ever deserved cancer...........

VinceFostersGhost's picture



Lead me not into blasphemy.....I cannot comment on this.


I'm counting to 10 here.

messymerry's picture

We don't wish Lloyd well, we wish him a speedy recovery so he can serve as long a time as possible in a 10-x10 foot cell. 


Stuck on Zero's picture

Unfortunately his "megalomania" condition is uncurable.

Took Red Pill's picture

Highly curable so he will be able to face the guillotine

Four chan's picture

can lymphoma fit through the eye of a needle?

MANvsMACHINE's picture

Doesn't Jamie Dimon also have some form of cancer?

Could they be planning their escape?

TongueStun's picture
TongueStun (not verified) MANvsMACHINE Sep 22, 2015 8:04 AM


Maybe there is a God? Sometimes we get signs.....

philipat's picture

I didn't realise that cold-blooded animals, such as Squid, were subject to Lymphomas? Let's just leave it at that?

y3maxx's picture

...Some wearing tin foil hats might suggest these cancer diagnoses's are escape hatches.

Rumor out ... both Dimon and Blankfein are headed to Israel w/ shitloads of gold & silver.

brockhardman's picture

It's not so much that he "has" cancer.  It's that he IS a cancer.

Spigot's picture

Too bad it wasn't testicular cancer of both nutz.

Bananamerican's picture

"Fortunately, my form of lymphoma is highly curable and my doctors...."

i stopped reading after that....

Confused's picture

This is where we find out there is a cure for Cancer. Which of course is not ready for public consumption. Ala Magic Johnson. 

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

Are they planning on treating his other cancer at the same time? Cancer of the soul is much harder to treat, or so they say. Did he elaborate on any plans for that malignancy?

espirit's picture

What hospital? What floor? What room?

...and When?

I'd like to surprise him with some flowers...

Fahque Imuhnutjahb's picture

BREAKING NEWS!!!    Lymphoma Reveals it has Lloyd Blankfein!  Poor, poor Lymphoma.

Freddie's picture

No.  It was total bullshit.  Dr. Jim Willie months ago mentioned someone he knew was connected to a secretary who worked for Jamie.  Jim said it was totall BS story and was for sympathy.  Dimon did not have cancer.

Jamie then comes out and says he is all better.  Blankfein story is more bullshit.

Arnold's picture

It is the sympathy alternative to having relatives 'die'.

FreeNewEnergy's picture

I totally agree, Freddie. Just get sick and all sins are forgiven. Jim Willie isn't right on everything (and his timing kinda sucks), but I think he nail(-gunn)ed this and Dimon's BS story.

All for show, you know...

CheapBastard's picture

Will Bankfine go bald from the chemo?


Oh, wait a sec.....

Venice13's picture

Lloyd will bypass reptilian overlord and go straight to Skeletor. I fear skeketor. 

God save us from Skeletor. 

OneHorseCarriage's picture

@Manvsmachine: Read the article.

Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

They are gonna go join Ken Lay in Paraguay on the Bush Ranch. Duh. 

JerseyJoe's picture

Four Chan...

Thanks for the belly laugh - I saw that thread earlier...geez.  

HungryPorkChop's picture

Probably curable with the right treatment.  Look up Vitamin D Binding Protein GcMAF and trail of dead doctors.  You'll get quite a few interesting reads and videos:

Victor von Doom's picture

Probably curable? Yep, hot lead is a cure for all dieseases and maladies.

This one just needs it administered.

duo's picture

Perhaps he will be cured by a drug that just went up 50x in price due to an aquisition he just financed?

RealistDuJour's picture

I are confused??  Somebody seems to be mixing up cure and vaccine.  Vaccine prevents you from getting a condition.  Cure makes the condition go away.

Maybe it was grammatically sloppy preachiness that hurt the most.

TahoeBilly2012's picture

The point is, life is too short to be an asshole...a hardhead, sure. am asshole no.

Spitzer's picture

Lol classic ZH. The first 2 comments did not disappoint

StackShinyStuff's picture

God's working him...payback's a bitch

chunga's picture

Lloyd will deal with his illness just like everybody else.

He'll order a hostile takeover of the entire discipline of lymphoma research and treatment so they can work exclusively on him 24/7.

Titus's picture

It couldn't have happened to a better man...if it were true. How much ya'll wanna bet something he or goldman got hiding under the rug is about to see the light?

My money's on misdirection. Never trust a shifty SOB.

Divided States of America's picture

Is this a way for him to go out of the industry with dignity and grace? If its even true that he has lymphoma? and curable also? I dont trust him before, why should I trust him now. Same with Jamie Dimon....I dont think its a coincidence they both got curable cancer.

If it is true, no sympathies for this zio-fuck who, via leading the Squid, has brought hardship to so many lives across the world. He has been a cancer to many.

Again, if its true, only bad news is that its curable. People of his ilk are better off gone.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Is it possible that the lymphoma was caused by diesel pollution?

TongueStun's picture
TongueStun (not verified) Stuck on Zero Sep 22, 2015 8:06 AM

Obama and HomoPope just said it was caused by global warming

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"So the two most important bank CEOs both getting cancer within a year of
each other. We wish Lloyd well - there are more appropriate venues to
be held accountable (to both god and the people) than a hospital room."

So there is a God after all?

Pseudo Anonym's picture

if there is god, i trust lloyd blankfein to sell god's  ipo; ot at least his bonds

SuperRay's picture

No sir. If there were a god people like blankfein and dimon would never have gotten where they are.

Is the treatment excruciatingly painful? Yes?

Nobody For President's picture

My wife of 43 (almost 44) years was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 2002, and underwent 3 periods of chemotherapy over the next 8 years, each followed by a couple of years of remission. Upon its return in 2012, she underwent the Bone Marrow Transplant program at Stanford, which gave her two more years of remission. Then the "side effects" of high-dose chemo hit - peripheral neruopothy left her unable to drive, then unable to walk more than a few steps, and for the last six months was wheelchair bound and running a fever, as she was unable to undergo any more chemo. She beat the non-Hodgkins, it had to transform into Hodgkins Disease (rare, but it happens) which could not be treated by then because her immune system was basically gone, before the cancer could kill her. She died per her fondest wish, at home with me and her daughter, February, 2014. I miss her every day - a lot. I was the luckiest guy in the room for the 47 years we were together.

As far as being 'highly curable' - well, check for yourself:

Our doctor at Stanford said his longest survivor of NHL was 15 years.

As far as 'treatment excruciatingly painful?'  Mostly not painful, just really sickening: your hair falls out and you can't eat - the smell of food will make you throw up, sometimes just the thought of eating will make you throw up, when there is nothing there to throw up. I.e. chemo ain't fun, and I suspect most of you know someone who has gone through it.

The exception is the Bone Marrow Transplant program, which I described to our friends so: "The first week is hell. That's practice for the second and third week." Excruciating pain is a pretty good description of getting through the side effects of huge doses of chemo, but I'll spare you the details.

Anyway, if old Blanky boy thinks he is gonna go back to work right after chemo with no problems, he is jiving hisself big time. Normally, I wish people well fighting cancer, but I'll make an exception in his case.


xtop23's picture

Sorry to hear about the wife NFP....... been there. It's no cake walk.

That being said, unlike most of the people I care for that are living with cancer,  I have to be honest..... I have 0 sympathy for this fucking parasite.

I hope his long walk is festooned with thorns, his feet bare, the entirety uphill, and he ..... covered in animal fat while fire ants consume his flesh.

...... the Pit of Sarlaac will also do in a pinch.

Nobody For President's picture

I have to agree, xtop - though it's not very Christian of me, but I'm a Buddhist...

DeadFred's picture

Some of Tyler's subpersonalities believe in God, other do not. He's a complicated man (assuming all his subpersonalities are male).

WillyGroper's picture


he's hooking up with Jamie for their escape to join Ken Lay.

mobius8curve's picture

Galatians 6:7-8  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  (8)  For he that soweth unto his own flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth unto the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap eternal life.