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Fortress Backs Hundred Million Dollar Subprime, Payday Lender Scheme: "He Has Peacock Feathers Tattooed Down His Left Arm"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

“I don’t hide tattoos, I don’t take earrings out. I just don’t do that, because ultimately if you don’t like who I am, you’re not going to like what I do.”

Who knows what that is supposed to mean, but it’s a quote from Douglas Merrill who, as Bloomberg notes, “has peacock feathers tattooed down his left arm, black fingernail polish, [and] chin-length hair.”

Two other things Douglas has are a Ph.D. in cognitive science from Princeton and the online version of a payday lender called ZestFinance. 

Now make no mistake, payday lenders are bad because what they do is trap low-income households in a perpetual debt cycle and they do it in the name of providing credit to those who wouldn’t normally have access to it.

In other words: the pitch is that before you think about criticizing a payday lender for charging an APR that amounts to 30%, you should actually think about whether you should be praising them for helping America’s downtrodden debt serfs get into still more debt. 

Of course we’re employing quite a bit of trademark sarcasm here. Payday lenders have been proven time and again to be largely predatory in nature, capitalizing off of the desperation of poor people albeit with a business model that comes with substantial risk because.. well... because the business model depends on collecting interest payments from those same poor people who have just been made poorer-er-er by the fact that they took out yet another loan they most certaintly can't afford to service. 

Anyway, Fortress is ready to jump in on this to the tune of hundreds of millions:

“I don’t lie about who I am,” [Merrill] said in an interview from the startup’s headquarters among the pawn shops and souvenir stores on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. “I don’t hide tattoos, I don’t take earrings out. I just don’t do that, because ultimately if you don’t like who I am, you’re not going to like what I do.”

 

The funding from Fortress, which manages about $72 billion, will help ZestFinance make more of its Basix installment loans, which are capped at $5,000, last as long as three years and carry annual rates of up to 36 percent. Borrowers often use the money to consolidate credit-card debt or pay for medical expenses, Merrill said.

 

His unusual appearance in the financial world is a luxury he can afford. ZestFinance is among a crop of startups leading a technology-driven push to make lending easier and cheaper. Wall Street firms and other large institutional money managers have taken note, writing big checks to participate in the fast-growing businesses.

 

Avant Inc., one of ZestFinance’s competitors, said last week that it had raised $325 million from investors including private-equity firm General Atlantic and JPMorgan Chase & Co. Social Finance Inc., which helps borrowers from elite colleges consolidate student debt, said a day later that it raised $1 billion from investors including Japan’s SoftBank Group Corp. and affiliates of Dan Loeb’s hedge-fund firm Third Point LLC.

 

ZestFinance gained notoriety in recent years for its approach to underwriting some of the most challenging borrowers. By sifting through oceans of data, Merrill and his colleagues created models that are being used to provide an online alternative to payday loans. Still, they’re not cheap: Some carry annual percentage rates of as high as 390 percent.

Right.

What could possibly go wrong here?

Here's a guy with a PhD lending money provided by a firm whose cost of capital is basically zero to borrowers whose credit is terrible and these loans carry APRs that approach 400%. 

Let's call this what it is: this is just nonsense and what will end up happening is that these loans will end up in the collateral pool of a CDO at some point and the very same hedge funds and PE houses that are providing the financing will end up betting against the loans they effectively made in a hilarious Abacus CDO redux that mainstreet with neither care about, remember, nor understand, which will be great news for Merrill and Wall Street because that means they can continue to perpetuate the business model.


 

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Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:07 | 6638084 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

You do, then i decide if I like. 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:10 | 6638100 order66
order66's picture

I mean look at this guy.....http://assets.entrepreneur.com/article/douglas-merrill-zest-finance.jpg. Clearly he's in it for the humanitarian angle.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:19 | 6638139 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

He deserves a touch of the old "ultra violence".

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:26 | 6638171 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Fuck LA, what a shithole...Nor Cal needs to dump So Cal and leave it dry and full of thirsty porn stars and dumb Hollywood movies.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:41 | 6638222 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Doug Merrill and his cronies need to face a guillotine or wood chipper.

Taking advantage of poor people like this is disgusting but Wall Street, the govt and others do it every day.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:54 | 6638259 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Voting for the chipper...sounds so happy in a way.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:14 | 6638421 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Oobersyberpara-site.....ooh...so....Goth!!

Meet The Walking FED

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:36 | 6638457 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

" Basix installment loans, which are capped at $5,000, last as long as three years and carry annual rates of up to 36 percent. Borrowers often use the money to consolidate credit-card debt or pay for medical expenses, Merrill said."

So.... let's say I would like to "consolidate" a bunch of 18% APR credit cards into a single 36% APR payday loan.  How much would I save on my monthly payments?  Excellent.  Sign me up!

Fucking douchebag.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:35 | 6638534 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Reminds me of the two twenty somethings that rolled in to our Northern AZ town in their new Bentley with CA plates to buy up all the available new homes in 2007.  They had raised a pool of money to buy and sit on houses which were appreciating at 20-25%/year.  They had promised their investors 10% returns on AZ real estate.  I know what happened to the houses they bought, not sure what happened to the Bentley?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:36 | 6638592 Idiocracy
Idiocracy's picture

what happened to the houses?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 05:18 | 6638712 Silky Johnson
Silky Johnson's picture

What the article doesn't mention is what he did before this gig. He's not just some hipster that popped out of nowhere, this puke was CIO of Google for several years. So in effect this is Google getting in on the Jewing business. Big fuckin surprise, eventually, you'll be eating Google cereal and your wife will be sticking Google tampons in her.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:29 | 6638774 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Do they take car titles as collateral? I have one of those still left.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 07:05 | 6638818 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

This is not a large investment bank named backwards, its a recommendation:

Lynch Merril

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:22 | 6638956 Four chan
Four chan's picture

"ZestFinance Takes Its Big Data Credit Scoring to China" some chinese are going to get fucked. 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:55 | 6639044 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

The banksters took the houses back, and sold them for 60% of what the Bentley Boys paid for them.  They did try to rent some of them out, but rents had not skyrocketed at that point in time.  Their house of cards collapsed.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 10:02 | 6639395 mtl4
mtl4's picture

Not so sure, if the market drops out the house of cards collapses pretty quickly so big data might have touble with an 8 sigma event.

 

Some forgotten wisdom:  "Every creditor that lends unto his neighbor or his brother shall release it at the end of every seven years."

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:18 | 6638312 Ataxic Press
Ataxic Press's picture

JEFFERSON!

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:27 | 6638444 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

MADISON!!

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:53 | 6638605 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

POLO!!

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 09:14 | 6639137 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

PAINE!

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:38 | 6638350 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

San Francisco is a filthy sewer overrun by traffic, vagrants, fags, drug addicts, moonbats, and "vibrants".

Give me LA any day.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:43 | 6638541 Paveway IV
Paveway IV's picture

Vibrants? Weren't they something like Australia's version of The Monkees? I think my older sister had one of their 45s.

The Vibrants - Something About You Baby (1967)

Seriously - WTF is a vibrant?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:15 | 6638581 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I live in the Bay Area and try not to pay too much attention to most things he mentioned, but, do we ever have a metric fuck-ton of traffic -- about 12 hours of each day.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:46 | 6638600 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

fuck the car and just use uber in that clusterfuck town

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:50 | 6639029 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Fuck owning a car in Frisco. I lived there in the 70's and couldn't find a parking spot within a half mile of my apt. then.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:23 | 6638635 prmths2
prmths2's picture

Re: Seriously - WTF is a vibrant?

When I lived in the Bay Area and started seeing the adjective "vibrant" applied to various neighborhoods, it seemed to correlate with dense, noisy, and occasionally candidacy for renovation or the wrecking ball. I infer that the noun "vibrant" applies to a denizen of a "vibrant neighborhood." Thanks for the link, I almost didn't recognize the Motown classic.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:08 | 6638569 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Speaking of Buckaroo Banzai, a couple scenes were shot at the famous Sepulveda dam in LA's San Fernando Valley (right next to where I live)

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 03:12 | 6638663 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Feeling is mutual, the Norcal leftist juducial and political asshoes wrecked CA, we had no choice in the state sponsored asshole socialist invasion.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:01 | 6638496 Gold Eyed Cat
Gold Eyed Cat's picture

Well, it will be easy to identify his body.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:36 | 6638537 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Suicide by nail gun?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 09:18 | 6639162 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

So let me get this straight, usury by old white guys in suits is okay (just ask Greece), but younger white guys with well-done tats and a t-shirt referencing brilliant literature are scary?

 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:17 | 6638583 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

You mean you've seen his dental records?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 11:47 | 6639921 Slomotrainwreck
Slomotrainwreck's picture

He deserves a touch of the old "ultra violence".

Color me old fashioned - had to look it up

Ultra-Violence (or UV) forms part of the film classification spectrum, which is a method used by experts to classify films in a spectrum and may be considered analogous to the electromagnetic spectrum - except it is real scientific fact and not merely Communist propaganda.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 14:04 | 6640598 InternetToughGuy
InternetToughGuy's picture

The reference here, I believe, is to "A Clockwork Orange", which is the T-Shirt that this motley shylock is wearing.

e.g. Alex: "What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolent."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066921/quotes

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/A_Clockwork_Orange

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:20 | 6638148 balanced
balanced's picture

What they aren't telling you is that this has been in the works for a couple of years. Once the big boys realized how much money was being made in the on-line Payday loan space, the top companies started getting daily calls and pressure from the SEC - you can't do this, you have to change that. When that wasn't enough, politicians (who I won't name) started directly leaning on ACH processors such as Intercept, telling them that if they didn't drop the on-line Payday loan lenders, they'd have trouble. It soon became next to impossible for the on-line Payday loan lenders to do business. In other words, all competition was beaten down and/or exterminated all together. The American way.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:38 | 6638204 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Nobody talks about how the big credit card companies move operations to boondock counties that allow higher usury charges than normal in order to bring jobs to their area.

 

Even the scum car title loan sharks are bait and switching now because regulations on title loans have some consumer protections. My sympathies lie with Darwinian selection usually, but this is ruthless and pathetic.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:19 | 6638515 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Not boondock counties. The really smart ones have allied with the Indian nations in the country that can have radically different banking laws compared to the United States.
.
.
.
.
.
There's more than one way to scalp a white man.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 07:18 | 6638836 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

They don't move to boondock counties because of usury charges, they bribe places to change their laws, then move there.  The reason that Citibank, NA is in Sioux Falls, SD?  Because Citibank, NA, convinced SD to change its usury laws.  Under federal law, any bank that is a "National Association" gets to export its home state's usury laws to other states.  If you read SD's usury laws, it's fucking retarded.  Credit card contracts are NOT written contracts, but SD law defines them as such anyway.  There are usury limits in SD for non-written contracts, but not for written contracts.  FYI, when you use a credit card, if you wind up in court, "use of the card constitutes acceptance of the terms." 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:17 | 6638126 OC Sure
OC Sure's picture

Well, the Dirtens just shut me out again.

 

Strike two on me. 

 

Farewell all, for a very long time.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:02 | 6638273 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Sayanora Biatch

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:03 | 6638614 netpounder
netpounder's picture

These 2 guys make Douglas Merril look like a complete amateur.  They are all copycats of these two ...

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2015-10-06/how-two-guys-lost-god-...

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 10:37 | 6639598 Nostradumbass
Nostradumbass's picture

What - 2 Jewish loan sharks? Say it ain't so.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 11:22 | 6639825 InjuredThales
InjuredThales's picture

Things I am sick of:

1) Blaming the lender and not the borrower [when a loan goes bad, they are both to blame]

2) The idea that banning payday lending (which I agree is nothing more than a speeding treadmill to financial ruin) is going to end the practice, and that it's somehow better to have loan sharks who will break your legs and your finances than payday lenders who will [mostly] just break your finances. 

3) If you are going to get uppity about payday lending, get uppity about all the other taxes on stupidity and irresponsibility: namely cigarettes, alcohol and lotteries and gambling

 

Suckers will be suckered. I don't mean to excuse the people taking advantage, but that's a fact of life. If you don't want to be suckered, don't be a sucker.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:07 | 6638086 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Of course, immoral criminality has been given the stamp of approval by the:  D.O.J., Supine Court, the Treasury/FED, CONgress, and the Kleptoligarchy.  No surprise this vulture is getting backed by a Wall Street firm.

Where is Jon Corzine?

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:09 | 6638097 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Definitely not where he deserves to be.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:17 | 6638128 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

"Just walk away."

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:20 | 6638143 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

It'd be a damned shame if gangsters rearranged his kneecaps for muscling in on their loan sharking action.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 05:23 | 6638719 Charming Anarchist
Charming Anarchist's picture

Bingo. 

I hate usury just like many other folks but I have no intelligent argument for or against it any more than I can convince folks what radio station to choose. 

I care not to stop my neighbor from taking out a loan on his own volition. 

----

The article says this is nonsense but that is foolish. This is the canary in the coal mine.  A loan is worthless without enforcement.  The message I get from this article is the following: 

1)  the loan sharking business is hinting at the "market" rate of interest

2)  in the near future, we will see a rise in repo services

 

There will be jobs for aggressive violent people.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:52 | 6639037 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

" the loan sharking business is hinting at the "market" rate of interest "

The implication being that the Shadow Banking System more accurately prices CAPITAL than sanctioned FED Cartel members.

The MOB cannot print.  It must raise the Capital to loan.  

The real interest rates offered on accrued Captial is far different than the rates offered by Counterfeiters who loan what they have not accrued..

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:08 | 6638090 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I think there must be TWO born every minute!

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:23 | 6638156 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

I think PT Barnum Barnum said that

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:50 | 6638602 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

Famously mis-attributed .. you are thinking of David Hannum (who tried to sue Barnum, re: the Cardiff Giant hoax).

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:08 | 6638092 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Needless-to-say, the payday loans will end up being repaid by the taxpayer indirectly after they are absorbed by pension funds.   The new American way.  Create loans no one can pay back, securitize them, sell them, and then tell us how you're rich because you're smarter than the rest of us.  

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:11 | 6638108 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Not smarter - greedier.

(is that a real word? - but you get my point - hopefully)

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:14 | 6638120 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Not only is it a word, it is a way of life for the guys that run this shit show.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:20 | 6638432 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Don't forget the cuff-links.  

The story is not complete without the White House cuff-links...

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:09 | 6638098 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

So what you are saying is...there is a chance I could someday repay my paydayless loan...

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:20 | 6638145 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

Sure thing. Kidney still working?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:32 | 6638779 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Pickled it, but it still works.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:10 | 6638099 ToSoft4Truth
ToSoft4Truth's picture

Here’s the trick, if we choose to critique, he’s still getting rich doing this.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:10 | 6638101 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

kill the mother fucker....

payday loans...get the fuck outta here...

 

Ameridumbs will never learn.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:06 | 6638280 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

 

Fuck these people. Sure many people hit payday loans and worse car title loans for stupid reasons or feed vices.

 

I can't help but feel badly for those real folks in a pitch, need to keep the gas on or a relative dying and getting torn into this debt cycle and think they can get out somehow.

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:10 | 6638102 DOT
DOT's picture

Meh, another bottom feeder that doesn't give a shit.

Roll the guillotines.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:21 | 6638144 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

<< Roll the guillotines. >>

 

Don't forget the kidneys...don;t forget to harves this kidneys and other organs. There's actually alot of deserving people out there who may need an new eye, kidney, heart, lung etc because of some incurable disease ...  and he ain't one of them.

 

Bring ice buckets so you can harvest them fresh and keep them fresher. The brain is no good so you can grind that up and throw it to the hawgs.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:31 | 6638191 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

If they need his heart to live, that's too bad for them since it is a black stone.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:45 | 6639011 g speed
g speed's picture

yea but from what i read he will make a great lamp shade--

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:48 | 6638377 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

his jewish investors give a shit

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:11 | 6638104 Fukushima Fricassee
Fukushima Fricassee's picture

I think Ervin (Magic AIDS) Johnson pulls this same shit, at least I have seen him running commercials for it.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:11 | 6638106 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

God help us if ever the lending industry is ever left to moral judgments. The end is nigh

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:34 | 6638197 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

Don't hold your breath. The tribe owns the regulatory bodies, the judges, the jury, and the executioners. There will be no answer for their crimes until the entire system implodes.

And that is when the black helicopters fly.

Opt out of their system. It's the only way to kill it.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:35 | 6638783 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Recall it's not the lending industry's fault, it's the bought and paid for legislative industry's fault for allowing usury above 10%, a Carter back pocket back room dealeo.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:11 | 6638107 CHoward
CHoward's picture

If you have someone who, because of really crappy credit, can't go to a 'normal' bank and get a loan or a credit card - what recourse do they have other than a pay-day loan establishment?  This is a serious question - what are these people supposed to do?  There are millions of people who do have low paying jobs and just can't make ends meet, no matter what they do.  We all have expenses and at times it can be rough.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:13 | 6638114 ToSoft4Truth
ToSoft4Truth's picture

They are low IQ and to immature to handle credit.   Like taking candy from a baby.  They are trinket addicts. 

Hospitals do not deny service, they’ll bill you. 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:16 | 6638123 logicalman
logicalman's picture

I don't see how debt can ever be helpful under those circumstances.

If you can't make ends meet today with no debt, how can you make ends meet tomorrow if you have to pay interest?

This is a serious question that may help you see why yours makes little sense.

Trying to be helpful, not critical.

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:22 | 6638151 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

pull back and drop down to a standard of living less than your probable and likely earnings. be very conservative. under estimate your earnings and over estimate your expenses. if all else fails ask for help from friends, family, charities or the government. payday lenders are predators/criminal IMO

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:56 | 6638392 SmackDaddy
SmackDaddy's picture

spending < earnings.  but oh poor me.  poverty in america = obese, iphone, cable.  you spend your cash on cigs, liquor, and drugs.  you know, shit you cant get with your eby card

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:36 | 6638645 ILikeBoats
ILikeBoats's picture

You make a good point, people used to be able to borrow from family or friends - with the destruction of many families and alienation of one generation from another, this avenue is closed to many.

What I do notice, is that almost everyone has a cell phone, costing $30 or more per month, and Comcast or Time Warner cable, costing - whatever-per-month; I don't know the cost because I don't have cable.  Assuming cable is $50 and phone is $30, by abstaining for 1 year, you would have 12x80, or $960 of emergency funds.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 09:45 | 6639352 plane jain
plane jain's picture

Payday/car title loans are awful and stupid. But there are people against the wall and probably always will be.

My brother is trying to scrape by with random small jobs for cash. He has been living in a house that isn't his and now has to be sold for estate purposes.

He recently got a little money from our father passing and got a vehicle. The rest was in the bank. IRS froze/seized the bank money because he was on the business paperwork for a foreigner in the US that wanted to start a business here, but needed a citizen for licensing purposes. Foreigner didn't pay his taxes...now they are coming after my brother though he had no real ownership of any asssets, nor access to the fund of the business.

He took a car title loan to keep his utilities on. Stupid? Hell yeah. That old car is his only asset. Better choices? Not really.

Here if you don't have utilities on the city will evict you. They have already tried to evict him once.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:13 | 6638112 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

Sociopaths have Phds, just look up some of the graduates from Harvard Business School.  Sociopaths aren't stupid; they just have no conscience nor empathy to stop them from bulllying.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:23 | 6638162 Secret Weapon
Secret Weapon's picture

Nailed it! 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:14 | 6638116 stant
stant's picture

New rich = a job and no debt

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:18 | 6638136 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Thanks for pointing that out!

I'm rich!

Never thought I'd get there.

Would I be super-rich if my canoe hadn't sunk?

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:46 | 6638371 stant
stant's picture

If said canoe existed , which I have no knoledge of. Nor can I comment on if said canoe did in fact exist . Because its classified

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:17 | 6638121 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Peak Idiocy.  

"Listen to this.  Seven... minute... abs.  Think about it.  You walk into a video store, and see eight minute abs sittin' there, there's seven minutes abs right beside it.  Which one are you gonna pick, man?"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB2di69FmhE

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:20 | 6638147 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Don't need either of 'em!

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:16 | 6638124 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

sssshhhhhh..These loans can be charged off in bankruptcy..,

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:09 | 6638289 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Yet not before the folks go thru the debt consolidation scams and lawyer scams.

 

If there's one personal finance book that needs to be written well, is how you go bankrupt the right way.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:48 | 6639019 Scooby Dooby Doo
Scooby Dooby Doo's picture

"Apple pie and Jubilee".

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:19 | 6638138 abyssinian
abyssinian's picture

Pay-day load is great for I phone 6s upgrades! Without pay-day loan, Apple would lose 40% of its revenue 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:25 | 6638395 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Is it called a Pay-Day Loan if Apple gives you an iPhone instead of 'consolidating your credit cards'?

 

Do most people NEED these devices?

Seriously.

How did 70% of the US Citizenry survive without them up until only 10 years or so ago?

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:30 | 6638451 buzzy_the_pirate_dog
buzzy_the_pirate_dog's picture

Not true, sorry to be an ass.  The mobile industry has a solution for actually having $600 for an iTurd X or SamFlung Y...we call it EIP.  Equipment Install Plan.  The companies float the consumer a loan, at a Fed welcomed 0%, with monthly "installment" payments.  That's why you need to stay 24 months.  What is cool for us, is that the consumer will gladly pay forever for iTurd X++, etc.  They see as it as just $20 or $30 more a month, forever, for a new farkle.

 

If your credit sucks enuf for a shark loan, then you are on pre-pay, and you're fucked.  You'll need to hike a case of Tide or something to get cash for the iTurd.  Or I guess you are right, we need pray-day loans for iTurds.

Nevermind.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:45 | 6638478 LibertarianMenace
LibertarianMenace's picture

They learned that trick from the auto companies.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:56 | 6639043 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

" The companies float the consumer a loan, at a Fed welcomed 0%, with monthly "installment" payments.   "

 

Do you really believe that Apple is loaning people the wholesale/manufacture price of the iGadget or RETAIL with their purported 40% mark-up?

Whether it is called mark-up or interest by the bean-counters probably effects the accounting and taxation for the item, and the result is the same: profit at the highest possible margin obtainable.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:21 | 6638150 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

It's simply called "legitimized loan sharking" and thank your local congressional representative for making this service possible...

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:37 | 6638202 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

A reckless gambler at almost anything, Al Capone had shunned the market.

"It's a racket," he said. "Those stock market guys are crooked."

Capone knew that both the Feds and other gangs were after him, so he had his Cadillac fitted with bullet-proof glass, run-flat tires and a police siren. In 1932, Treasury agents working on prohibition issues seized the car; it was later used as President Franklin D. Roosevelt's limousine.

Capone's limo went from one crook to another, Roosevelt who as president confiscated American's gold on a flimsy pretextthen had his Federal Reserve gang jack up the price of the gold they had stolen so they'd make a nice profit.

 

Please accept my apology ;)

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:22 | 6638152 will ling
will ling's picture

who ever said there is honor amongst thieves?

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:22 | 6638153 KenShabby
KenShabby's picture

Vampires

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:23 | 6638160 will ling
will ling's picture

ya.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:23 | 6638154 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

make post dated checks illegal and this guy is out of business. the county d.a. ends up playing the role of guido in this loan shark racket. in essence the taxpayer is the unpaid ball busting muscle for this maggot.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:24 | 6638168 logicalman
logicalman's picture

If maggots could type you'd have a lot of downvotes by now.

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:30 | 6638180 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

apologies to fly larvae everywhere for my frequent perjorative abuse of their good name

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:37 | 6638205 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

WTF I wanted to see the peacock feathers and earrings and suchlike things. Not interested in reading about Joe Scumbag, merely wanted to see what he looked like in case I happened to be speeding in LA and noticed some real asshole counting their money as they stepped into the crosswalk.

 https://youtu.be/TehFZ38kt6o

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:44 | 6638230 Jendrzejczyk
Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:24 | 6638435 buzzy_the_pirate_dog
buzzy_the_pirate_dog's picture

Wow, momma says he's a keeper.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:13 | 6638578 Cosmicserpent
Cosmicserpent's picture

Just begging to be kicked in the fork a few hundred times.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:10 | 6638622 Major Malfunction
Major Malfunction's picture

Somebody, please. Right in the solar plexus. He needs it. Badly. Again and again and again.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 21:40 | 6638217 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

At least he admits he's a duchebag.  That's something the likes of Bernanke can't do.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:16 | 6638306 mijev
mijev's picture

“I don’t hide tattoos, I don’t take earrings out. I just don’t do that, because ultimately if you don’t like who I am, you’re not going to like what I do.”

I had to wear a business suits for two decades and even though I didn't really mind that much, often I would find myself thinking how ridiculous it was. Yesterday I saw a cartoon on faceplant comparing the business suit with a burqua and they made some good points.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:26 | 6638329 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Shit dude I love wearing suits.  They're fucking lady killers.

:)

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:41 | 6638357 mijev
mijev's picture

Haha SG, you're damn right. That's why I didn't object too much. I'm pretty sure if men could see what's under the burqua, there would be a lot of pre-arranged marriages would get canceled.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:38 | 6638785 negative rates
negative rates's picture

No suits here, we don't allow hangings in this country.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:30 | 6638338 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

"I saw a cartoon on faceplant comparing the business suit with a burqua and they made some good points "

Wow. Too much time on your hands.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:27 | 6638333 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Great plan. Import the underclass via 3rd world immigration policies and do not enforce against illegals. Create your own market then charge 'em 40% interst whilst receiving their funds at .25%.

Brilliant. This peacock needs a punch in the face.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:55 | 6638606 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

Don't forget that when the poor little dears go bankrupt (the illegals) we will bail them out and give them sympathy money.  And a fainting couch as well.  At least we got to see Katie Couric's colon once.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:32 | 6638342 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

When the leeches stand proud and public...

another rung down We go.

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 22:43 | 6638366 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

I love tattoos, they are an instant indicator of piss-poor judgement and low character. Everyone should show their tattoos.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:50 | 6638551 Joe A
Joe A's picture

That's right. People think they stand out, are unique, adventurous and 'not a sheep' when they take a tattoo. But in fact they are just followers of fashion, of what is hip. Tattoos are so common place now that when you don't have one you stand out. It became hugely popular in the 90s and now you start to see middle aged people with tattoos. I can appreciate a good one but a lot of them are stupid and those tribal things. Try to imagine the old people's homes of the future full with people with floppy tattoos. Yuck.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:50 | 6638795 Flankspeed60
Flankspeed60's picture

Yup - an entire underclass of western civilization driven to copy the appearance and emulate the rituals and behavior of tribes who never made it out of the jungles, who can barely feed themselves as they totter on the edge of extinction. Sure, I wanna look just like them.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:13 | 6638577 fishwharf
fishwharf's picture

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:00 | 6638889 financialrealist
financialrealist's picture

As a former Marine, i know great men with tattoos. Be careful of stating all men with tatoos have low character and exercise piss poor judgment. I wouldn't trade one of them for 10 myopic stereotypical thinkers such as yourself.

Thu, 10/08/2015 - 14:47 | 6645529 Sanity Bear
Sanity Bear's picture

Number of "great men" who are mercenaries for one of the most evil regimes in human history? ZERO.

 

If you or any of your buddies had any morals at all you'd never have gotten within a light year of donning that uniform. May I inquire how many innocents have you personally murdered?

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:04 | 6638400 PoasterToaster
PoasterToaster's picture

Is this how they plan on helicoptering money?  They will have to do better than that.

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:22 | 6638434 Diablo
Diablo's picture

Related: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2015-10-06/how-two-guys-lost-god-...

 

(surprised ZH isnt all over this)

 

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:36 | 6638458 geekz_rule
geekz_rule's picture

jfc.. this is frickin evil...

P < P + I

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 23:52 | 6638486 Shrike99
Shrike99's picture

deleted

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 00:08 | 6638503 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Bring back usury laws.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:24 | 6638636 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

To make it illegal?  or legal?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:11 | 6638572 fishwharf
fishwharf's picture

The asshole has done a favor to those he's fucked over.  The hideous tatoos on his arm make him easy to identify.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:49 | 6638601 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

"Douglas Merrill has peacock feathers tattooed down his left arm, black fingernail polish, chin-length hair and, now, $150 million from Fortress Investment Group LLC to lend to borrowers with checkered credit.

The partnership with Merrill, set to be announced Tuesday, isn’t as unlikely as it seems. For starters, he holds a Ph.D. in cognitive science from Princeton University and used to be Google Inc.’s chief information officer. He now runs ZestFinance, a six-year-old online lender that uses algorithms to extend credit to subprime borrowers. So, he makes no apologies about his appearance.

“I don’t lie about who I am,” he said in an interview from the startup’s headquarters among the pawn shops and souvenir stores on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. “I don’t hide tattoos, I don’t take earrings out. I just don’t do that, because ultimately if you don’t like who I am, you’re not going to like what I do.”"

 

This has got to be the ultimate description of a hipster-douchebag!  I mean he has all the accoutrements of a dot-com beautiful person and an ivy-league education.  And what does he do?  He is a loan-shark!  I mean all he does is give money to those who will not be able to pay it off.  I can see in the near future that the next wave of spectacular violence events will be centered around these Internet and Cyberspace celebrities where assailants will try to kill them!  I used to work in the IT world and one of the things that I saw with these people was that many of them have a messianic complex.  They actually believe that since they can write and debug code in one or more languages, they can solve all of the problems of the world.  It is just like dealing with a communist, where everything is viewed through the prism of the material dialectic.  Don't believe me?  Go and get to know these people yourselves.  Oh and watch out, they will try and use you like a dust mop.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 01:51 | 6638604 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

He sounds like a pirate. That isn't all that surprising. I suppose it was inevitable that the CEO class and the pirate class would merge. They both basically do the same thing

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:09 | 6638621 Grandad Grumps
Grandad Grumps's picture

Was he born with 6 fingers or toes on any of his hands or feet?

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 02:58 | 6638651 SMC
SMC's picture

Perhaps there is an opportunity here.

Considering that ZIRP (NIRP considering real world inflation) is no where near the premium the banking sector should be paying considering the risk (repeal of Glass-Steagall, Bail-Ins, etc...).

Perhaps crowd source micro/small loans at reasonable rates while mitigating risk?

I’d rather earn a reasonable rate of return and do something useful with my liquid capital than the near zero rates that are earned on savings accounts, money markets and CD’s today. 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:37 | 6638782 Flankspeed60
Flankspeed60's picture

Yup - great opportunity - but only if you employ Rocko and Turk as your field collection agents, and..............you include a code of silence in their employment agreement.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 03:06 | 6638658 Fireman
Fireman's picture

He can can his creditor$ as catfood and make back dollar$ on the pennies.

 

Merca at the bottom of the barrel aint a pretty picture.

 

http://linhdinhphotos.blogspot.de/search/label/Allentown

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 03:13 | 6638666 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

I smell a government backstop

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 04:16 | 6638695 Keyboard Kommando
Keyboard Kommando's picture

I smell the foul stench of kikes!

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:31 | 6638778 Flankspeed60
Flankspeed60's picture

We don't have to 'smell' it - we've already been bitch-slapped by it. Repubs and Dems conspired and won approval to get FDIC backing for certain categories of hedge funds. Media has been deaf-mute on this.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 03:52 | 6638681 dogismycopilot
dogismycopilot's picture

You don't need a PhD to be a money lender. This guy is overeducated. His value add to society is negative.

May he be cursed with NPLs from day 1, may his CFO embezzle all of his money and I curse him with my evil eye. 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 05:04 | 6638707 TrumanShow
TrumanShow's picture

APR of 36%? You wimps, we have here in the UK a payday loan company i.e. loan shark which I thought was actually illegal, that advertises on the TV and broadcasts its APR as 1509%, beat that! The only thing they don't have (I assume) are the heavies with the baseball bats.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:08 | 6638736 Batman11
Batman11's picture

a) Those with excess capital invest it and collect interest, dividends and rent.
b) Those with insufficient capital borrow money and pay interest and rent.

Once you understand it, you realise that the poor are the best market for the debt product.

Sub-prime, sub-prime auto loans - the banker’s know.

It will all go wrong in the end of course, because they can’t pay you back.

But that isn’t a problem, look at Greece, you just keep increasing the loan so they can make the repayments.

Before it all blows up you just need to have extracted enough money from the company for yourself.

The limited liability company is a wonderful thing.

(Banks have TBTF)

 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 09:01 | 6639063 Bob
Bob's picture

IBG-YBG

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 06:24 | 6638770 redd_green
redd_green's picture

30%?  Sheeeyit, some ofthese bastards charge dollar amount fees that are in the hundreds percent range.  If there is onebusiness that should be outlawed, it is payday loan sharks like this bastard's. 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 07:46 | 6638891 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Another carnival master wannabe. 

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 08:50 | 6639025 Not if_ But When
Not if_ But When's picture

A while ago, I printed and saved the very short "contract" between Hank Paulson and all the TBTFs signed on 10/13/08  required in order to receive the TARP monies.  I got it from the Judicial Watch website and the contracts were called the "Major Financial Institution Participation Agreement" and signed by each CEO.

Incredibly there were only four (4) requirements for the money:

Here is requirement #3 :  " Expand the flow of credit to US consumers and businesses on competitive terms to promote the sustained growth and vitality of the US economy ". 

It should naturally be implied that this type of philosophy be attached to all the emergency lending programs to include all the QEs, etc and the continuing ZIRP, etc.

So what we have here is not only the TBTFs INVESTING in this type of economy-fucking outfits described in this article, but by doing so they are also NOT INVESTING THESE MONIES in a legitimate manner in economic growth oriented businesses.  They are reneging on their promise of directing credit towards growth oriented businesses required to meet their obligation to promote "competitive terms" and "the sustained growth and vitality of the US economy".

We know what happens to a normal citizen when they BREAK A CONTRACT.

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 09:13 | 6639128 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Some guy named Vinny is going to make a lampshade from that arm for cutting in on his business.

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