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Dennis "Every Futures Broker's Best Friend" Gartman Does It Again (Again)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While we haven't heard the term "churn 'em and burn 'em" for a while, we can only assume that world-renowned newsletter-writer Dennis Gartman is long futures brokers (in commission terms) as in the space of just 3 trading days he has flip-flopped (once again) from "the most bullish I've been" to "you have to fade the oil market here" with WTI trading at almost the exact same price level. If you listen carefully, even CNBC's Melissa Lee is starting to get the joke...

October 7th 1226ET... "This Is The Most Bullish I've Been On Crude"

 

October 12th 1700ET... "Fade The Crude Oil Market"

 

Or in more visual terms...

 

A glimpse at the following images is all one needs to know...

 

Chart: Bloomberg

 

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Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:35 | 6660694 Lorca's Novena
Lorca's Novena's picture

Stop trolling us Gartman damnit!! We get it already!

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:36 | 6660699 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Is that red nose from landing on his face or is that some really nice Scotch....or maybe a combo of both

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:04 | 6660803 TheBoyPlunger
TheBoyPlunger's picture

Gartman is long of Scotch in yen terms.

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 02:00 | 6661793 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

USC needs a football coach, maybe he should apply.

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 12:30 | 6663155 mtl4
mtl4's picture

Watching Gartman talk about finance is like a tempest in a tea cup.

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 00:01 | 6661565 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

He did slip a couple "buy gold"s in there.  Worth noting.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:36 | 6660704 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Does this mean that he's consistantly inconsistant?

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:36 | 6660705 Gambit
Gambit's picture

I will pay top dollar for someone to five finger fist fuck Gartman... while screaming FUCK YEAH! FUCK YEAH! 

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 21:09 | 6660983 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

LOL. If you're taking up a collection for that, count me in!

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:37 | 6660706 DogeCoin
DogeCoin's picture

He flip flops more than a fish caught out of water.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:43 | 6660720 CoolidgeLives
CoolidgeLives's picture

This guy has absolutely no self-respect

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:45 | 6660731 Cosmicserpent
Cosmicserpent's picture

Sure he does. He just does the opposite he tells his followers. Fleecing the sheeple is legal fraud. It's not robbery if people just give you money.  You know, like tele-evangelists.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:44 | 6660723 diamond dog
diamond dog's picture

Gartman always has flushed, ruddy cheeks with a crazed grin when he comes on CNBC to make his 100% wrong calls.  Methinks he is playing with himself under his desk during these interviews...imagining himself with Melissa, Becky, Mandy and Warren Buffett all together at the same time.  And he makes this a joke by saying "It's nice to be seen!" after Melissa's standard intro "Nice to see you Dennis!"...Mel of course never knowing what is going on under Dennis' desk at that very moment.

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 02:02 | 6661794 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

Some things just can't be unseen.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:46 | 6660734 Wild Theories
Wild Theories's picture

come on, go easy on the Gartman, he probably knows he's being trolled by ZH by now.

Gartman has feelings too you know

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:46 | 6660917 Lokking4AnEdge
Lokking4AnEdge's picture

similar to the cloberring (unjustified) that Doug Kass has been getting today on his Twitter account.....At least Doug has a great track record....unlike Dennis.....

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:52 | 6660753 stant
stant's picture

Kenny Rogers of the markets

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:55 | 6660760 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I thought this link was about oil.  Gartman is going to buy gold ahead of the holiday season?  Really?  Who coulda knode demand spikes right about now?  And this guy gets paid to write a "newsletter"?  Okey dokey  then.

"Commodities gone wild"?  That is a good one.

Mellisa Lee is a nice looking young lady.  Go get her Tyler.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:59 | 6660791 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Melissa Lee looks as if someone smacked her in the face with a cast iron skillet.  Many times.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:47 | 6660925 Wild Theories
Wild Theories's picture

already logged out and leaving, but had to log back in to upvote that

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:55 | 6660944 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Her teeth kind of bother me but come on, her biggest problem is that she is on CNBC.  You could do worse than her, like Becky, and she has a job that probably pays alright.(I don't know that though)     

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 19:56 | 6660775 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

looked like he needed a 12 step today to me

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:25 | 6660857 ZippyDooDah
ZippyDooDah's picture

He's not long of dong.

 

Actually, I wouldn't (want to) know.  I just like the rhyme, 'cause Dennis is always long of this or short of that (brains).

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:29 | 6660862 Fahque Imuhnutjahb
Fahque Imuhnutjahb's picture

 

 

This dude is either intentionally leading the muppets to the poor house, or he isn't plugged in to the chosen's news feed and has two wrong feet.

If it's the former then fuck him, hope he chokes on his Scotch; if it's the latter then I kinda feel bad for the guy---like kicking a crippled, retarded kid.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:29 | 6660865 Neil Patrick Harris
Neil Patrick Harris's picture

He must be getting paid to play the fool. Otherwise bloomberg would have dropped him a long time ago.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:35 | 6660887 Fahque Imuhnutjahb
Fahque Imuhnutjahb's picture

He's a regular on CNBC's Fast Money, and his daughter is ,supposedly, a producer for the network; but your point is taken.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:43 | 6660908 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Brokers have access to unlimited statistics. We however have no access to a broker's profitability statistics for his past clients.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:45 | 6660915 Tim Knight from...
Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

Here's a detailed breakdown I did of this nonsense.........

 

http://slopeofhope.com/2015/10/what-a-joke-2.html

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 20:54 | 6660942 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Mirthful Gartman. Thoughtful Gartman. Two sides of a delightful coin. 

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 21:13 | 6660997 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Uhm I just threw up in my mouth when I looked at what kind of shoes he was wearing and realized his feet look like Hillary Clinton's. Ugh fucking kill me.

Watch the first clip again when it pans out. Fucking Christ.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 22:13 | 6661214 American Psycho
American Psycho's picture

Gartman, the best contrarian indicator.

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 22:17 | 6661224 yogibear
yogibear's picture

LOL, wrong-way Gartman again. 

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 22:47 | 6661286 Harry Balzak
Harry Balzak's picture

Fake books in the background and finger-tip pushups make him look intellectual.  

Oh, and don't forget a pompous smirk and tangential babbling. 

He sophistry lacks the finesse and refinement of Krugman.  Both are equally full of shit.  

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 00:51 | 6661683 MrNoodle
MrNoodle's picture

Sooooo glad someone else watched todays interview of Gartman and caught Mel catch him flip flopping. He can't stop talking about his 40 years of investing knowledge. Has any website tracked his buys and sells to confirm he even makes any money? I think he read the Goldman report on oil and reversed his take on things. When confronted by Mel about it he states he talked about being bullish on oil 1.5 months ago. Oh boy. Man up and admit it. This is not the first time he has floped.

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 00:58 | 6661706 NoYouAreAnAsshole
NoYouAreAnAsshole's picture

Any day oil moves a couple of bucks is a good day for oil futures traders who don't give a crap which way it moves so long as it moves.

Meanwhille, I watched the Fast Money show this evening and Gartman said he would not short oil from here. But, who really cares what he said, really?  After all, this site has noted that 55% of the American public doesn't invest in the stock market anyway.  Of the rest, less than 1% trade futures.  Oil futures, as represented by CL is a big contract (a one dollar move in oil = $1000; a one dollar move in ES or S&P futures = just $50.00 in comparison).   Few but professionals trade it.  And, I doubt they are hanging on the word of the likes of Gartman in planning their next trade. 

In other words, STFU about Gartman already . . .

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 02:35 | 6661819 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Epic Loser!

Tue, 10/13/2015 - 10:51 | 6662703 Ben Bermonkey
Ben Bermonkey's picture

Dont be so rude with Dennis Fartman.

 

I appreciate Fartman's comments and trade well after him.

 

The Fartman Newsletter is even more valuable

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