Putin Calls US, Allies "Oatmeal Heads" On Syria

Tyler Durden's picture

To be sure, there are a lot of absurd things about what Washington has done and is currently doing in Syria. 

There’s the support for Turkey’s Recep Tayyip Erdogan, for instance, who has used ISIS as an excuse to wage war on his own people. Then there are the various efforts to arm and train a hodgepodge of different anti-regime rebel groups (with more embarrassing results each and every time). And just yesterday we learned that the best idea the Pentagon can come up with now is to literally paradrop “50 tons” of ammo on pallets into the middle of the desert and hope the “right” people pick it up.

Of course when it comes to absurd outcomes in Syria, it’s difficult to top the fact that at some point - and you don’t have to go full-conspiracy theory to believe this anymore - either the West or else Qatar and Saudi Arabia provided some type of assistance to ISIS, which then proceeded to metamorphose into white basketball shoe-wearing, black flag-waving, sword-wielding desert bandits hell bent on establishing a medieval caliphate. 

Having said all of that, things took an even more surreal turn late last month when, after Russia stormed in via Latakia and started bombing anti-regime targets, Washington was forced to claim that somehow, Moscow’s efforts would be detrimental to the war on terror.

To be sure, there really wasn’t much else the US could say. After all, you can’t simply come out and say “well, we need to keep ISIS around actually and we’d much rather them then Putin and Assad, so no, we’re not going to help the Russians fight terror.” The only possible spin to avoid blowing the whole charade up was to claim that somehow, The Kremlin is helping terrorists by killing them (and not in the whole 72 virgins kind of way). 

Now as we’ve said before, Putin is there (along with Iran) to shore up Assad. There’s no question about that and Moscow hasn’t been shy about saying it. But at the end of the day, when you are trying to wipe out your friend’s enemies and some of those enemies are terrorists, well then, you are fighting a war on terror by default and that’s not good for terrorists by definition. By denying this, the US is effectively arguing against a tautology which is never a good idea, and we’re running out of ways to describe the ridiculousness of it. 

Fortunately, Vladimir Putin is not running out of colorful descriptors.

Here’s Bloomberg with some amusing excerpts from a speech he gave at an annual conference organized by VTB Capital in Moscow on Tuesday:

Some of Russia’s international partners have “oatmeal in their heads” because they don’t understand clearly that its military campaign in Syria seeks to help the fight against terrorism, President Vladimir Putin said.


Russia notified the U.S. and the European Union in advance “out of respect” that it intended to begin airstrikes against Islamic State and other militants in Syria, Putin said at an annual conference organized by VTB Capital in Moscow on Tuesday. This showed Russia’s ready to cooperate on Syria, while nobody ever warned the authorities in Moscow about their operations, he said.


Putin’s colorful phrase, normally used to describe someone as confused, to characterize relations with the U.S. and its allies on Syria comes amid deep tensions over the Russian bombing campaign and cruise-missile strikes that began Sept. 30. The EU demanded on Monday that Russia stop targeting moderate groups opposed to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. U.S. Defense Secretary Ashton Carter warned that Russia’s actions “will have consequences” and the bombing “will only inflame” Syria’s four-year civil war.


Russia “received no answer” when it asked its international partners to provide information on terrorist targets in Syria, or to say at least where its planes shouldn’t bomb, Putin said. “It’s not a joke, I’m not making any of this up,” he said.

And while the US insists on says things like this (out just hours ago):


Put makes a more logical argument. Namely that when one drops 50 tons of ammo from the sky into the most dangerous place on earth, there’s absolutely no way to know for sure where it will ultimately end up:

U.S. air drops of weapons and ammunition intended for the Syrian Free Army, which is fighting Assad’s regime, could end up in the hands of Islamic State instead, Putin said.

Yes, they might “end up in the hands of Islamic State” which we’re sure wasn’t what Washington had in mind. Oh ... wait...

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junction's picture

I don't trust that Bloomberg translation of what Putin said.  If he called Obama a POS, that I would believe.

Truther's picture

OF course he did.... Very politely. Check mated him too.

Silky Johnson's picture

That's kind of shit that happens when you lie to everyone and pretend to be all chivalrous an shit, but you're really a cuntface that arms monsters.

Bumpo's picture

Putin should play the old "Flaming Bag of Poo" Halloween trick, and tell the US to stomp on it because Assad is inside.

ZerOhead's picture

So Bloomberg is now handing the microphone over to Putin so he can make an ass out of Obama.

And 60 minutes last week was uncharacteristically very hostile to the POTUS over his Syrian policy.


Things that should make you go Hmmmm....

SheepRevolution's picture

He did not eat that oatmeal.


// Mr. Oatmeal in da Head

ZerOhead's picture

I think he meant "goatmeal"... it's what all the really cool sheep are eating.

It's a tasty sodium fluoride based food product...

CClarity's picture

In Ruski it means "mush for brains?

NoDebt's picture

Yeah, I'm guessing it makes more sense in Russian.  Where's Boris when we need him for translation?

tc06rtw's picture

 … I think we must realize politics influenced Mr. Putin’s statements;  He must be forgiven for his overly charitable description of the US and its allies.

kralizec's picture

Oat meal in head...probably sloshes around and makes a sound like shit in a bucket, but only those close to Obama can confirm that...

Apparently Putin has a direct source but needs no confirmation...

Neither do we.

Son of Loki's picture

He really knows how to hurt a guy!

The Pope's picture

Matzohs are made from 'oatmeal'? - Who knew?

Save_America1st's picture

Treasonous, Marxist, Fascist, NWO, Sociopath, Oatmeal Heads.


There...fixed it for ya.

Baby Bladeface's picture
Baby Bladeface (not verified) Save_America1st Oct 13, 2015 3:26 PM

Possibility exists ChoomsWagen vehicle of Obama past was secondhand delivery truck Quaker Oats.

Billy the Poet's picture


I sometimes have oatmeal in my head for a brief period of time until it slides down my gullet.

Save_America1st's picture

I wonder if Putin knows who Wookie-head is?  ;-)

Four chan's picture

hitler had the same opinion.

where_is the_nuke's picture

"I must die so that my people can live. But my spirit will rise from the grave and the world will know I was right."--Hitler.



Never One Roach's picture

"Bathhouse Barry could not be reached for comment. He is too busy destroying America's middle class."

old naughty's picture


does that complete with nuts?

Nenad's picture

Obama will not finish his second term! Current Events Linked to Ancient Biblical Prophecy!


ebear's picture

Flight data recorder
Cockpit voice recorder
ATC recordings.
NATO satellite images


undertow1141's picture

mmmm with cream and brown sugar.

Manthong's picture

Well of this having been said. If I was a terrorist, I would be looking for  a job within the Federal triangle or maybe be walking around  the big five sided building on the other side of river with a sandwich sign that said “Have Gun, Will Travel”.

Am I good or what?  

Oracle of Kypseli's picture

The US does not want to win wars. The MIC needs to sell arms and needs to get rid of all stockpiles of bombs and ammo. Fear of .gov also sells arms and ammo. Perpetuate.

MisterMousePotato's picture

I envy you that you can think that all this is just about some folks drumming up some extra business for their businesses. I wish that were true.

Me? I get this vague sense of disquietude about, well, our lives and our souls ultimately. The future. Will it look like this?


KungFuMaster's picture

I am not Boris, but the second best thing. This is what Putin said:


So this an ideom which should be translated: They have mess/chaous in their head. Otmeal is tipical russian food, but in this case the main characteristic is that outmeal looks all the same and this implies that subject cannot differentiate and separate concepts, has a fuzzy filling in his head when he does not know what he is talking about.

Billy the Poet's picture

Christmas trees and sticks!


PS -- For those who don't get it, that's an (apparently obscure) Russian idiom. Nobody downvoted William Safire for knowing it (walks away mumbling to himself in more obscure Russian idioms).



Two Theives and a Liar's picture

Hmmm...maybe a polite Russian way of saying "Shit for brains"

opport.knocks's picture

My resident Russian translator agrees with this interpretation. The specific food reference is to Kasha, not oatmeal, really just mixed grains stirred in a pot with milk, honey, and whatever until it is a hot gooey sticky mess.

AKA an accurate description of US foreign policy, without the nutritional benefits ;-) 

BALANDAS's picture

Here is my reliable information --- Putin fears that US weapons in Syria would be terrorists
10/13/2015 14:12:30
Moscow. October 13. Interfax-AVN - Moscow fear that the weapons and uniforms, which the United States supplied "Free Syrian Army" could fall into the hands of terrorists, said Russian President Vladimir Putin.
"Who said that the aircraft" Free Syrian Army "deliver ammunition and ammunition. Where is the" Free Syrian Army "? Do not fall if it all again as it was in the training of personnel in the hands LIH? Where is the guarantee?" - Putin said at an investment forum "Russia Calling".
"It is only that all this was done, only that it happened just in the United States recognized that action failed, and now just somewhere to throw ammunition and ammunition. This? This is not a rhetorical question," - concluded the president.

Icelandicsaga...............................................'s picture

Boris is visiting his aunt in Minsk....but in Russian what Putin meant was shthead...Zasranees. ....or asshole...Zhopa





Cast Iron Skillet's picture

goatmeal ... you mean like after the goats ate it and it ... became available ... again?

Paveway IV's picture

The U.S. oatmeal head's psychopathic plan is, was, and always will be to overthrow Assad.

Failure #1: To convince enough Syrians to die for the replacement U.S.- and Israeli-puppet Syria. Solution: outsource.

Failure #2: Rebrand unemployed al Qaeda head-choppers under the al Nusra banner from Iraq. Qatar and Saudi Arabia provided the funding, and Turkey and Jordan the training and staging points. Expect obedience.

Failure #3: Expecting said head-choppers to share your vision of a free, democratic U.S./Israeli puppet Syria. The head-choppers didn't give a damn about the U.S. plans because they were just going to keep Syria for themselves. But, hey - if the nut-jobs in the U.S. wanted to set them up with training and weapons, why not? Uh... 'moderate' rebels? Yeeaaaahh... that's right. We're 'moderate'. Free, democratic Syria? ...yeah, whatever.

Failure #4: Give the FSA TOW-2As for their unwinnable war. Al Nusra reaction: how about some TOW-2As for US? No? OK... I guess we'll just convince the FSA that have them that they really need to be in our 'joint opeations room' with the rest of our alliance (or lose their fucking heads). So, yeah... just keep giving TOWs to THEM.

Failure #5: Expecting the demoralized, crumbling, corrupt FSA left-overs (now effectively Shanghai'd by al Nusra and various other takfiri head-choppers) to make military progress with their criminal amphetamine-crazed, civilian-looting head-chopper buddies. At the same time, even more fanatical head-choppers ISIS evolves and secures a lot of the previous al Nusra funding and arms, pissing off THEM. 

Failure #6: Coming up with the clownishly-stupid plan of USING ISIS to fight Assad since the FSA and al Nusra plan fell to shit. You would simple bomb ISIS if they attacked a non-approved target (al Nusra or the FSA) and steer them to desirec targets (Assad and Syrian infrastructure and oil wells) with ammo, equipment drops and intel. It actually worked for a few months, but ISIS knew what was going on all along. They've grown tired of the game and have plenty of weapons and ammo now (between U.S. airdrops and all the shit they seized whenever they roll over another Syrian army position).

Failure #7: Keeping ISIS financially strong enough to serve as your third army against Assad: Bomb the shit out of Assad's forces guarding oil and gas installations, then airdrop arms, ammo and equipment to ISIS so they can take them over and sustain their operations through black-market means. At least not as blatant as Iraq, where you transfer several hundred tons of gold to your new central bank in Mosul - days before ISIS simply walks in and takes it without a shot (almost like it was a planned gold transfer to ISIS).

Failure #8: Failing to anticipate that Putin would do the same thing for now: steer ISIS towards your FSA/head-chopper forces to kill them FOR you. He's done this north of Aleppo and decimated Jabha Shamiya, who is now scurrying back to more al Nusra-safe turf. Putin and Solemani have no plans to enable ISIS long term - just use them for a little short-term al Nusra meat-grinding until they, themselves are annihilated by Syria and allies.

Failure #9: Failing to understand how quickly the supply lines to Aleppo could be interdicted by a Russian air campaign. It turns out the resolve of both the Aleppo FSA (for a U.S. democratized and freedomized Syria) and the Aleppo head-choppers (for their caliphate) are directly dependent on a continuous supply of amphetamines, USD, weapons and ammo. Interferene with that opposition Wal*Mart drug and explosives logistics network has created quite a bit of consternation in Aleppo. The second in command of the opposition coalition there just quit, head-choppers are leaving for paying jobs and the few FSA left there are heading for Turkey. Aleppo might fall in a matter of weeks, maybe days - without much opposition at all.

More to come. Waaayyy more to come.

ZerOhead's picture

That's a lot of failures even for a completely inept Obama Administration.

Too many failures perhaps?

Paveway IV's picture

Not NEARLY enough. The next step of the Oded-Yinon (or whatever the clownfuckery is called) plan calls for a civil war in Turkey (Turks vs. Kurds), partitioning it and splitting off of a corrupt and psychopathic U.S./Israeli-puppet-led unified Kurdish nation. ZATO has hijacked Kurdish nationalism to force an artificial Kurdistan well before it's time.

The purpose isn't to unify Kurds, it's to create a weak and corrupt Kurdish corridor from the Mediterranean to Iran. Guess why? Hint: Israel's U.S.-staffed war with Iran, discount stolen Iraqi oil from Kurdish Iraq for Israel, and the alternative northern route for Qatari gas lines (avoiding Syria altogether).

See how that all works out? Russian soldiers die in Syria to clean up the U.S./Israeli mess they created there. At the same time, the Kurds will lose their long sought-after Kurdish nation to a Ukraine-like jewish oligarch controlled, chaotic and eternally-squabbling hell-hole of a country (probably eternally at war with the Turkish partition next to them) kept barely alive by stolen Iraqi oil (who will also be trying to kill them). 

Psychopathy 101: Manufactured death and destruction is like a welcome mat to come in and fuck over the victims even more.

Killdo's picture

more people need to learn how to recognize psychopaths and how to avoid being screwed by them at all levels - pesonally, to do with coprorations, religions and governments. 

we are ruled by psychopaths while encouraged to tolerate them hoping their looting and stealing will rub off us (the American dream?). So too many psychopaths and too many pussies tolerating them - that is the main problem we have today I think

Freddie's picture

Any hope a bit further down the road where Hezbollah or Soleimani help the real Kurds get rid of the corrupt shit?  I though Hezbollah uses that corridor a lot.   Possibly helped by the Iraqi Army?   This would be a bit further down the road.

HowdyDoody's picture

Putin has offered the Kurds an opportunity to split from the USIS groups. I hope for their sake, the listen and understand the implication of that.

Standard AngloZionist m/o would be for corrupt Kurdish oligarchs (wow, the nice cuddly Kurds have corrupt elites? Tell me it ain't so) to pocket most or all of the profits from selling cheap Iraqi oil, giving no benefit to ordinary Kurds. The ordinary Kurds may be getting just a little pissed off by this. So Putin's gambit may work over time.



Paveway IV's picture

This is the corridor between Afrin and Kobane cantons in norther Syria, Freddie. The area in the dotted line formerly envisioned as some kind of fake-assed Safe Zone. Most of it is ISIS-held (grey) but the western slice is opposition-held (orange). Turkey/Gulf State ISIS-supply routes are through the porous Turkish/Syrian border in ISIS land. They use to rely on Kobane, but got their ass kicked out of there. Then they moved to Jarablus, but just got their asses kicked out of there, too. Since the U.S. won't allow the Kurds to go any further than the Euphrates/Jarablus, ISIS still has plenty of routes from Turkey for their rat lines.

The U.S. is interested in keeping the ISIS routes open mostly to appease Turkey. The real core interests of the U.S. though is to keep the orange (opposition) rat-lines from Kilis, Turkey to Azaz, Syria to Aleppo open. That's a major CIA arms and bulk explosives route to supply whatever head-choppers work there and in Aleppo. I think most of the stuff is stolen along the way, so that route is less and less useable. Russia seems perfectly fine with letting ISIS overrun the orange opposition area to the west all the way to the Afrin border. That eliminates the rebels there, closes the CIA smuggling routes and stretches ISIS thin enough for an easy kill.

Hezbolla isn't anywhere near there for now, AFIK. They're busy in the al Ghab plain and the area between Homs and Aleppo. I'm sure Soleimini will beef up the Syrian forces with Quds before any final assault on Aleppo. That won't be for a while though. Unless Aleppo just implodes in the mean time. 

Poundsand's picture

The hypocrisy is staggering and the entire world knows it.  Assad has to go because of what?  They say bombing his own people.  Yet across the border Erdogan is actually bombing his own people and no one says boo.  But I guess duly elected minority representation in a democratic country doesn't really count if you're Kurdish.

The US is losing it's standing in the world and has become a corrupt sheriff in town and don't think that everyone except those here in America don't know it.  As our military and moral authority wane, it will be picked up by someone else.  It always is because there is nothing new under the sun.


Son of Loki's picture

Neither the Law nor Morality stand in the way of The POTUS!

SofaPapa's picture

Increasingly, even those here in America know it.  The US government has minimal popular support for their actions of the past 15 years in the international stage.  They are playing with fire both at home and abroad.

McMolotov's picture

The establishment wants Hitlery but is quickly realizing she is likely unelectable. Bernie is a wildcard and uncontrollable, so they need to swing the electorate over to the GOP. Piling on Obama will accomplish just that. After they find a way to torpedo Trump, look for someone like Rubio to become the front-runner.

Elections are nothing more than selections by the power elite at this point, but there still has to be a thin veneer of plausibility to the whole charade.

ZippyDooDah's picture

This is why they have Biden hanging around.  More reliable than Bernie; more electable than Hillary.  He probably won't announce until all the debates are over.  Then he doesn't even have to perform at all.