Full Metal Retard: US Launches "Performance-Based" Ammo Paradrop Program For Make-Believe "Syrian Arabs"

Tyler Durden's picture

On Monday, the Pentagon proudly announced that it had “successfully” delivered 50 tons (yes, tons) of ammo to rebels fighting the Assad regime in Syria. 

Before going any further, it’s important to note that the move to publicly deliver ammunition to the groups fighting the Russians set off alarm bells even among the most mainstream of media with CNN running the following headline as though the notion that the conflict is just another proxy war were somehow “news”: “Syria's 'proxy war' rages in towns near Aleppo, Syria.

So “all” it took was for Russia to invade and for the US to brag about handing “tons” of ammo to the very groups Moscow is fighting for the clueless public to come to the shocking realization that Washington is effectively at war with Moscow in Syria. 

Obviously that’s not news, as it’s been clear to anyone who knows anything about geopolitics for years, but what is news is the extent to which the ammo paradrops mark a new low point for Washington in terms of countering Assad. As we put it on Monday: 

The US has now thrown in the towel on the ill-fated (and that’s putting it lightly) strategy of training Syrian fighters and sending them into battle only to be captured and killed by other Syrian fighters who the US also trained.


The Pentagon’s effort to recruit 5,400 properly “vetted” anti-ISIS rebels by the end of the year ended in tears when word got out that only “four or five” of these fighters were actually still around. The rest are apparently either captured, killed, lost in the desert, or fighting for someone else. 


Because this latest program was such a public embarrassment, the Pentagon had to come up with a new idea to assist Syria’s “freedom fighters” now that they are fleeing under bombardment by the Russian air force only to be cut down by Hezbollah.


The newest plan: helicopter ammo. No, really. The US has now resorted to dropping "tons" of ammo into the middle of nowhere and hoping the “right” people find it. 

In funnier terms: The US just paradropped 50 tons of ammo on pallets into the most dangerous place on the face of the planet with no way of ensuring that it falls into the "right" hands.

The absurdity of that wasn’t lost on Putin, who offered the following critique on Tuesday: “U.S. air drops of weapons and ammunition intended for the Syrian Free Army, which is fighting Assad’s regime, could end up in the hands of Islamic State instead.”

And then on Wednesday, Turkey pitched a fit, with PM Ahmet Davutoglu proclaiming that “Turkey definitely can’t accept weapons aid to groups linked to PKK.” 

Of course that declaration from Ankara seemed to come out of left field because after all, the US claimed the ammo and weapons were retrieved by the “Syrian Arab Coalition”, not the YPG. 

Well, as it turns out, the “Syrian Arab Coalition” (which apparently didn’t even exist until last Friday) conveniently merged with the YPG over the weekend.

Consider the following from Reuters:

A Kurdish militia in northern Syria has joined forces with Arab rebels, and their new alliance has been promised fresh weapon supplies by the United States for an assault on Islamic State forces in Raqqa, a spokesman said on Monday.


The alliance calling itself the Democratic Forces of Syria includes the Kurdish YPG militia and Syrian Arab groups, some of which fought alongside it in a campaign that drove Islamic State from wide areas of northern Syria earlier this year.


The Arab groups in the new alliance are operating under the name "The Syrian Arab Coalition" - a grouping which U.S. officials have said would receive support under a new U.S. strategy aimed at fighting Islamic State in Syria.

Got it.

What happened here is that the US knew it couldn’t directly arm the YPG without infuriating Ankara, so Washington tried to say that the YPG had now aligned itself with various (likely fictional) “Syrian Arab groups” and so therefore, Erdogan shouldn’t mind if the US hands them a few tons of weapons. 

So yeah, the hits just keep on coming. In July, NATO agreed to allow Erdogan to crack down on the Kurds in exchange for access to Incirlik. But because the Kurdish PKK has ties to YPG, Ankara wouldn’t be happy with the US supporting the Syrian Kurds anymore. Of course some of the sorties the US intended to fly from Incirlik were almost certainly meant to support the YPG, so it’s unclear how anyone ever thought this was going to work from the beginning unless the US intended to fly missions in support of YPG from a Turkish airbase and then lie to Turkey about who those missions were supporting. 

Once the “train and equip” program crashed and burned, the US wanted to arm the Kurds again. Unfortunately, we’re now two weeks away from elections in Turkey so there was no way Erdogan was going risk 50 tons of weapons and ammo being channeled to a group with ties to the PKK.

Washington’s solution: create a fictional alliance between YPG and some “Syrian Arabs” who probably don’t even exist, and then use that alliance as a front. It was a make-believe militant merger.

If you think that sounds too far-fetched, just consider the following out yesterday from Bloomberg

American and Kurdish officials and Syrian Arab opposition leaders told us this week that ammunition said to have been for the Syrian Arab Coalition, a newly announced group of Sunni Arab brigades in northeastern Syria, had largely ended up arming the Kurdish Democratic Union Party and its associated military forces, known as the People's Protection Units or YPG. That will aid the Kurds in fighting the Islamic State and cementing their control of Kurdish territory.


One senior administration official who works on the issue told us that the White House knew that the coalition was likely to pass on most if not all of the weapons to the Kurds. The official, who called the Syrian Arab Coalition a "ploy" to arm the Kurds, said the White House knew they would receive the shipments because they controlled the area where the weapons were dropped. The U.S. did not ask the Arab coalition for any guarantees the weapons would stay in Arab hands, the official said.


On Thursday,  Mutlu Civiroglu, a Kurdish affairs analyst, published an interview in which the YPG commander, Sipan Hemo, acknowledged his group had received the airdrops, which he said were important to its cause. “With this new support, the cooperation we have had for a year has reached a new level. And we hope to increase our work together even more, we hope to work strategically. So what we received was not big. But it is big for a new start,” Hemo said.

Technically then, Washington is now paradropping tons of ammo on pallets to make believe "Arabs".

And because the US is never content to let sleeping foreign policy mistakes lie, the Pentagon is now set to double down on the helicopter ammo drops. Here's AFP

The US military is poised to boost its supply runs to rebels fighting Islamic State jihadists in northern Syria, a US official said Thursday, days after an initial air drop of ammunition.


"There will be more deliveries but only if they can demonstrate that they have used it in an effective way against ISIL," the official said, using an alternate acronym for IS.


"As they demonstrate results, the packages will get heavier and US strikes will occur in places that are advantageous to their operations."


The official described the rebel-arming program as "performance-based."

So let's attempt to sum all of this up. The US sanctioned a crackdown by Turkey on the Kurds ahead of Turkish elections in exchange for access to an air base. But allying with Turkey means Ankara won't be pleased if the US helps the Kurdish YPG in Syria because if there's anyone Erdogan hates more than Assad, it's the Kurds. Once every other "plan" for countering the regime in Syria demonstrably failed, the US wanted to send weapons to the YPG. To avoid angering Erdogan, the Pentagon created a fictional group of "Syrian Arabs" then pretended that the YPG had formed an alliance with the make believe fighters to give Washington an out in case Ankara got mad. US planes then dropped the weapons into the desert and prayed the Kurds picked them up. 

Now, the US is set to paradrop many more tons of ammo into the middle of nowhere, provided the "Syrian Arab Coalition" can show "results." 

So ultimately, this is a "performance-based" program under which Washington provides hundreds of tons (literally) of weapons and ammo to Arabs who don't really exist. 

No further comment.

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Hype Alert's picture

Fast and Furious v9.0

Money Boo Boo's picture

history will not be kind to the r'tards called USSA

greenskeeper carl's picture

I know this gets said a lot here, but am I taking crazy pills? I mean, seriously. You couldn't make something this absurd up if you tried.

The Juggernaut's picture

I stand corrected, fellow ZHer's. USA gov't is dropping the 2nd Amendment to ANYone in the ME... yet looking to end the 2nd on their own shores. Malon Labe.

BuddyEffed's picture

50 tons of ammo just doesn't walk off on its own.  Everbody's spy satellites ought to have a good idea which vehicles were used in the pick up.   Unless it was a semi or tractor trailer, it would have been many vehicles, or many trips for a few vehicles.

Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Too bad the pentagram budget isn't "performance-based"...

pods's picture

Is anyone else confused?


formadesika3's picture

Nowhere in this article is there any mention of the barrel-bombs that Assad is dropping by helicopter on his own population!

BuddyEffed's picture

.......  BREAKING ........

Satellites have indeed confirmed the vehicle used to pick up the 50 tons of ammo and the people involved (who are among the most fierce sand fighters in existence):




TBT or not TBT's picture

This would have to be 7.62x39 as far as rifle ammo goes.  I wonder if they dropped anything useful against armor, helicopters, light vehicles etc.   

Tarzan's picture

Non of this is new and all you've mentioned, plus fighter jets, have "fallen into terrorists hands".

The Optics of Humvees adorned with ISIS Flags parading through the streets of Iraq and Syria were a bit much though.

Now they send machine gun armed Toyota's

N2OJoe's picture

Does anyone still believe that it's just a matter of "stupid" that they're wrong EVERY SINGLE time, or are people ready to accept that the driving force is "evil", not "stupid"?

Pure Evil's picture

No, its just "stupid".

If it was evil I think they would have more successes to brag about.

Uchtdorf's picture

I upvoted you because I'm hoping that you just forgot the sarc tag.

Baby Bladeface's picture
Baby Bladeface (not verified) formadesika3 Oct 16, 2015 4:38 PM


"Nowhere in this article is there any mention of the barrel-bombs that Assad is dropping by helicopter on his own population!"

And what is your brain different from the brain of a sheep?

Congratulations, you full retard gone!

Pure Evil's picture

Maybe he can drum up the old canard "using chemical weapons against his own people" to convince us.

Ms. Erable's picture

If you are confused, comrade, you must re-visit education camp no. 4342 to become re-educated on dialectic materialism. This is not optional.

Tarzan's picture

They know exactly who picked them up, guaranteed,

They watched it live and have a copy for review!

 I totally get all the arguments for classified information, but the negative side effects of secret budgets, covert diplomacy, and our young men doing the dirty work of Billionaires in the dead of night,  far out weigh any benefits to the People, when the aftermath is truly understood,. 

When this Washington Regime dies, and it will die,

these crimes must be prosecuted in the light of day,

if not by law, then by the wrath of the people!

All secretive Government Agencies must be OUTLAWED, before we will see an end to this BULLSHIT!

Tyrone Shoelaces's picture

Maybe they dropped some new Toyota's to help 'em get 'er done!

NoDebt's picture

The CIA would have used GM trucks, but that would have been too obvious, wouldn't it?

Pure Evil's picture

Better yet, untraceable Saturn's with their VIN's stripped out.

I can see it now with the head dude cruising in his Sky convertible at the head of the ISIL column.

Billy the Poet's picture

I'd walk a mile for a camel. Maybe pick up a few crates of ammo on the way.

AnonymousCitizen's picture

Seems it was all picked up by 45 Toyota trucks.

NoDebt's picture

"Well, as it turns out, the “Syrian Arab Coalition” (which apparently didn’t even exist until last Friday)"

I need a playbill to keep the actors straight.  I swear to God, they make up these groups and their names on a regular basis just to fuck with us.  This is FAR from the first time I've heard a made-up name for some made-up group that doesn't exist or is actually a different group which they DON'T want to name.

Head to Syria and ask for directions to the "Syrian Arab Coalition" and, if you aren't immediately shot, the look of puzzlement on their faces would be absolutely priceless.

Payne's picture

I have an image of Card board cut outs staged across the desert with signs saying Ammo drop here please.  Trucks are nearby under cammo netting to pickup the ammo and resell to highest bidder.

BlindMonkey's picture

It is a shell game.  They start as moderates and, after eating a few livers here and there, are then moved to the extreme catagory and are not eligible for the drops.  They then change the sneaker colors and are moderates again.  Rinse and repeat.

Mountainview's picture

The Syrian Arab Coalition consists of 7000 different groups, selling arms to each other and to IS.

CrimsonAvenger's picture

Look next for the Judean People's Front, the People's Front of Judea, and the Popular People's Front. Splitters!

Uchtdorf's picture

See what the propaganda boys at Foggy Bottom are doing. Iranians are Persians. Persians are not Arab. Can't wait for 300 Spartans vs Persians Part III

stant's picture

Can't one of these accidently be dropped in rural ky for Christ sake ! It's deer season. Has anyone at centcom got a ounce of decency and a sense of humor?

Pure Evil's picture

Just call Homeland Security and let them know you've got a butt load of domestic terrorists hiding out in the woods.

thetruthhurts's picture

Wow.... You can't make this shit up!......er, Yes you can :(

Implied Violins's picture

I just wonder how much more of this shit has to go down before people finally see this shitshow for what it is: the globalist hegelian dialectic, making the USSA look as evil as possible in relation to the USSR, so we will welcome them (and their newfangled BRICS bank) with open arms and cool, designer implanted RFID chips to hold our money.

BullyBearish's picture

So that's where our guns and ammo will go after confiscation...

yogibear's picture

Other  countries look at Obama's  vision of a  trans-gender and female lead army and can't believe it.


Canadian Dirtlump's picture

I've been critical of the reporting here, but hats off. Full metal retard. Absolutely hilarious and on point.


What I'm waiting for is for Russia / Syrian radar / satellite to watch a drop, then send a cruise missile from the caspian or a Sukhoi Frogfoot to blow it up right away.

sandhillexit's picture

nope, I think the Russians like the Kurds, especially the Turkish ones, but the Syrian ones are OK too.  Eventually the two groups will come together, and it looks like Turkey is S.O.L.  

My advice to a Turkish friend, years ago, was to make peace with the Kurds...give them a few extra Senators, treat them like we do the Texans..."you know they are a bit crazy but, hey, they have oil, so humor them."  Move the Turkish army down to protect the oil in Iraqi Kurdistan and let the rest of Iraq alone.  The EU would have welcomed Turkey with open arms.  

It's too late now, The highlanders always endure....

thesonandheir's picture

Someone got a masssive killstreak and called in a care package.


Call of Duty: Wooden Moarfare.

StupidEarthlings's picture

I hope they did the proper background checks prior to handing out 50 tons of weapons /ammo to these 'folks'.



nuubee's picture

So the paper tiger is arming other paper tigers with helicopter weapons?

There's a Bernanke joke in there somewhere.

danepol's picture

The Syrian caravan has moved on. The dogs barking mournfully in its wake answer to Barak and Ketchup.

knukles's picture

Man, they're slow.  Not even a Wikipedia enrty on the newbies, yet.

Hey!  I got an idea make us all feel better!  Let's buy some stocks!

Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

The asset tasked with this, must have been on lunch break until now:


"With a strength of around 4.000 fighters"

Yeah... Mmmmhmmm...

Dave Thomas's picture

LOL The page was literally created yesterday.

wisefool's picture


Hey americans, you don't have to wait till april 15th to pay taxes. The US treasury accepts payments 200 days of the year. Taxation means citizenship!


knukles's picture

Funny how the Progressive who think EVERYBODY should pay more taxes don't pay more that necessary.

Progressives think that robbing people is making too much money, but don't think that taking it by force by taxes is not.