The Humiliation Is Complete: ISIS Fighters Cut Off Beards And Run Away As Russia, Iran Close In

Tyler Durden's picture

The thing about ragtag groups of militants that display a penchant for extreme violence is that in the absence of serious opposition, they can rack up gains at an alarming pace. 

Of course there are plenty of (possibly credible) theories out there, which suggest that some of what you see in the videos released by ISIS is for show and we won’t endeavor to assess the degree to which the group’s brutality is real versus staged, but one thing is clear: regardless of who is funding, training, and/or supporting them, there are obviously fighters on the ground in the Mid-East waving the ISIS flag and committing atrocities in its name. 

That works well when it comes to destabilizing fragile states that are already beset with sectarian bickering on the way to claiming large swaths of territory from a defenseless citizenry.

But you can’t intimidate a modern fighter jet by waving around a sword and if you’re a newbie on the Mid-East militant scene, you can’t scare a three decade veteran by beheading a couple of people, which is why if you’re ISIS, the combination of the Russian Air Force and Hezbollah ground troops is absolutely terrifying.

As we documented earlier today, Hezbollah and Iranian troops are advancing on Aleppo and Moscow is backing the offensive from the sky which means that the hodgepodge of anti-regime forces that control Syria’s largest city will almost (and we say "almost" because there are no sure things in war) certainly be routed in a matter of weeks if not days, which would effectively serve to restore the Assad regime in Syria.

After that, the Russian bear and Qasem Soleimani will turn their eyes to the East of the country and at that point, it is game over for ISIS. 

Apparently all of the above isn’t completely lost on al-Nusra and Islamic State fighters because if you believe the Russian media (and we’re not saying you should), Sunni extremists are now shaving off their beards and running for their lives. Here’s Sputnik:

Hundreds of ISIL fighters are fleeing Syria for Turkey, as Russia's Defense Ministry previously said, and reports are popping up that they are leaving their beards behind.

Now obviously, these are just pictures of hair on the ground with razors, so that shouldn't be interpreted as anything that even approximates definitive evidence of a full-on ISIS retreat but put yourself in the following situation for a moment. You're a Sunni extremist and your regional and Western backers have just abandoned you. You are now under siege by the Russian Air Force. If you survive the air strikes you will soon have to come face to face with the fiercest, most experienced Shiite militia on the planet and if you somehow manage to survive that, well then you have to fight the Quds Force ("how do you shoot the devil in the back"?).

What would you do? 

*  *  *

We close with the perfect video clip analogy. The US is in the blue shirt, ISIS is in the red, star-spangled jumpsuit, and Russia, well... Russia is the bear.

US to ISIS: "No, no, you can't quit now, we just started. You got to give these people a show man"...

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JustObserving's picture

Are their CIA handlers running away with them?

Hope ISIS run to Turkey and Saudi Arabia and cause some mayhem there - that would be perfect karma

TeamDepends's picture

Time for some helicopter resupply beard drops.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Is "cutting off beards and running away" a clever metaphor for Hillary divorcing Bill after she loses the nomination?

Chupacabra-322's picture

They actually all look like Bruce Jenner now.

Save_America1st's picture

Gee....I thought they were so tough and fearless of dying because "Alah" and "obama" and "72 virgins" and "koran" and "caliphate" and all that other bullshit????  No??? 


So here's the lesson you fucking primitive, stone-age, retarded scumbags:

Never bring little throat cutting knives and basketball shoes and Toyota pickup trucks and Youtube videos, and American supplied humvees, ammo, and whatever other bullshit to a full-on Russian military battle.  Especially when you're not even a real army of any kind what-so-ever.


Isn't that the old saying?  ;-)



CheapBastard's picture

But they're still covered by Obamacare, even if they're beardless, right?

Stuck on Zero's picture

As soon as the Russians leave they'll re-emerge from the shadows and it will be business as usual.

macholatte's picture


As soon as the Russians leave...


That probably ain't gonna happen without somebody give 'em a kick in the pants and that probably ain't gonna happen any time soon.



0b1knob's picture

ISIS boys will be living it up and growing back their beards in Germany in a week or less.

viahj's picture

now they will blend in with the rest of the wealthy arabs in England and Western Europe whom have taken a kindness to Western women.  the battle is not on the field but in the bedroom. 

Four chan's picture

long europe or bust signs. 

StychoKiller's picture

So long as it's a bust like yers, Four chan! :>D

COSMOS's picture

Why coudnt they have just donated their beards to a Wahhabi Jihhadi cancer fund.  What a bunch of selfish pricks.  They must of tossed their black ribbons too. 

LMAO's picture

Excellent, leave your DNA profile for future reference. Get these beards into a database ASAP for cross-checking at the border.

COSMOS's picture

Now we are talking.  Great observation.  If you get a DNA match instant beheading at the border, with their severed heads facing Langley.

N2OJoe's picture

No, no, DNA database is only for the enemy, AKA freedom loving Americans. ISIS will (continue to) be welcomed with open arms and resettled in the American Midwest.

silent one's picture

quote "ISIS will (continue to) be welcomed with open arms and resettled in the American Midwest."


Just like 'Operation Paperclip'

VinceFostersGhost's picture




Hair today, gone tomorrow.


Luke, I am your father.


or is it Bowe?


Can't even remember my own sons name while I'm claiming the Whitehorse for islam.

Refuse-Resist's picture

"resettled in the American Midwest."

Sounds like a nice  hunting preserve.

Put a fence around it, and let hunters pay for their chance to bag a jihadi!

Can I get a FUCK YEAH?

Bokkenrijder's picture

This is an old story, these same claims (and pictures!) were made already during the summer when hundreds of thousands of 'refugees' left Turkey for Greece in small boats.

Here are EXTREMELY similar pictures from the 9th of October:^tfw

LMAO's picture

I believe you're wrong Bok, these are NOT similar pictures.....these are the same pictures!

Bokkenrijder's picture

I was being sarcastic. ;-)

847328_3527's picture

These guys are just following the langley manual, page 238: "when defeat/capture looks imminent, 1) dispurse goats; 2) burn your cia id bracelet; 3) shave off beard; and 4) run away as fast as can."

hunkerdown's picture

They can have them.  Western women are too frum.

Paveway IV's picture

"...ISIS boys will be living it up and growing back their beards in Germany in a week or less..."

I think you're confused, 0b1knob - those were a pile of the ISIS WOMEN'S beards. They're the ones that left.

toxic8's picture

"If you like your Beard, you can keep your Beard."

researchfix's picture

Russia is there to stay. Serves everyone, ´cept Israel. But who cares?

Paveway IV's picture

"...i think this sums it up well:..."

I agree, Jeff. The article hits on all the important aspects of the state of our involvement.

The problem for the U.S. is this: take a step back and consider ALL the information and diplomatic/military drama Dr. Brennan covers. It's got to be overwhelming for 98% of Americans when laid out like that - I doubt they could get through the first three paragraphs.

That's not a critique of the author's writing - the situation itself is just extremely complex. There's a lot of moving pieces - there's no way to Break it down Barney-style for the American public. Which is why I rail at the 'cartoonish evil villian' political and MSM narrative. THAT attempt to dumb down the situation and market our confusing, scrambled efforts in the Middle East helps nothing. In fact, dumbing-down reality has blowback: loss of trust. Subsequent attempts by politicians and the MSM to demonize Putin (for not obeying ZATO world domination plans) further weaken the trust Americans - and the rest of the world - have in the U.S. govenrment's competence and morality. It may sound crazy, but I see this as a GOOD thing. Americans need to realize how bad their government is.

I want to believe in a moral and just U.S. - Americans are fundamentally good. But it's a mistake to automatically project those qualities on to a clearly dysfunctional government. The ways the U.S. govenment is dysfunctional are complex. Ex-PFC Chuck's comment points to govenment corruption. I'll one-up that and point to a much more fundamental cause: psychopathy a la Lobaczewski. There is corruption, but that's only a symptom (although a huge, obvious one).

Efforts to get rid of corruption will always fail if there is underlying psychopathy. One need look no further than Ukraine and their futile attempts to eliminate corruption. We would have no more success here. If we really have to Break it down Barney-style for the average American to understand, then call it for what it is: the 'problem' with the U.S. government is the pervasiveness and tolerance of EVIL IN the government. The organization and its members are sick, and the disease is infectious.

I am pretty damn sure 'voting' for the least diseased candidate next year isn't going to fix anything.

Kayman's picture

Paveway IV

"attempt to dumb down the situation" 

You're way too far ahead of yourself.  Before you start dumbing down the quagmire in Syria for the public, you have to dumb it  down for an American Politician.  These guys are stuck back in the Cowboys and Indians mentality.

But if you want to dumb it down to where you can at least function, how about starting with everybody hates everybody else and the one thing they all have in common is everybody hates America.


Paveway IV's picture

" have to dumb it  down for an American Politician..."

I agree 100%, Kayman. But nobody is ever going to ask you or I to do that. There is an entire industry of Washington D.C. think-tanks, institutes, foundations and assorted fake analyst-whores. Their entire existence owes itself to industry groups or foreign governments paying to Break it down Barney-style for our learning-impaired Congress and Administration.

Between a purple dinosaur, PowerPoint decks and good old-fashioned American psychopathy, there is little need for a functional brain anywhere among our elected officials or their evil minions. 

I am increasingly troubled to repeatedly arrive back at only one sure cure: the wood-chipper. I am loath to feed the evil fuckers into one myself. I'm thinking of some kind of trick. Like making the feed chute of one look like the entrance to a fake lobbying firm and setting it up somewhere on K-street. It would have a big rotating neon sign with an arrow pointing to the entrance that says: "Free porn and bribes for important people ONLY - Come on in!" Maybe a little light jazz in the background and valet parking. 

TahoeBilly2012's picture

You might try some rap music and  strippers, probably work better.

Blankone's picture

I want to see Putin's reaction.  TWICE when the EUke's had the WUke's surrounded and were ready to destroy them Putin forced the EUke's to allow the WUke's to safely withdraw under a cease fire/peace plan.  Only to have the WUke's to attack again.

Will Putin bomb them on the roads/backroads/trails?  Will Putin not only allow the Syrian allies to wipe them out will Putin assist with intel and air support?

After what they have done I think it might be difficult for them to try to blend in with the locals.  Once control was established it would seem the locals would turn them in to the Syrian military unless there are areas where the locals actually support them.  But even then the Syrian's might be able to sift through the population and find them.

Considering the basis of the insurgents attack and how they have conducted it - there really is only one solution now that the Syrian allies have regained the upper hand in the fight.


Lurk Skywatcher's picture

I think Marty McFly and the Doc might have fucked up the time continuum - the Syrian army killing (ex-ISIS) "civilians" is the reason why the USA was trying to overthrow Assad... they just got their flux capacitor in a twist and reacted before it actually happened!


Winston Churchill's picture

Putin never wanted western Ukraine.Who would ?

A bankrupt state full of neo nazis is nobodys idea of a prize.

Feeding prisoners costs money.

Blankone's picture

He wanted Crimea.  He cares not much for the rest of EUke, or their deaths.  He uses their deaths to his advantage when he could have stopped it in a week.  Instead he forces them to act as he wishes by threats to cut his supplies to the EUke's unless they let their killers go.  Only to have to be killed to once agian gain the advantage on their murderers.  Only to have Putin, for a second time, force them to let their killers go.

The leader of the EUke's called this a betrayal by Putin.  I believe that commander was killed by a roadside bomb, set just for him, by people who knew where and when he would be traveling that piece of roadway.  Were the WUke's suddely so precise and skillful.

Zadig's picture

Highly unlikely since they're not Syrian guerrillas.  The "foreign fighters" were imported because the locals weren't willing to trash their own country.

lakecity55's picture

No, I think almost all of them will be dead.

Reichstag Fire Dept.'s picture

Russia ain't leaving...this is colonization son. Syria is the lynch pin to supplying oil from Saudi Arabia to Europe, the Russians already have that market cornered and don't want to see a new pipeline through Syria to complete with them.

Savvy's picture

If you like your beard you can keep your beard.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

And run away........

Is this a Middle Eastern version of Monty Python?

HowdyDoody's picture

Geez, they were just playing the part. What part of the faked decapitation videos do you not understand? $100 a day, you shiny new Toyota pickups, snazzy clothes, you get to play with guns and other weapons, you can shoot up anything you like, the US provides arms drops and air cover, a well-connected media machine shows how badass you are. What's not to like for some unemployed disgruntled muslim?

Except - the Russian involvement is not part of and suddenly they are being taken for what they claim to be. Being on the receiving end of serious military hardware was not part of the contract, so the beardos are away.