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ISIS Tries To Blow Up Russian Bombers With Flying Condom Bombs
If you’re a black flag-waving, sword-wielding, desert bandit in white basketball shoes, you’ve got a lot of options when it comes to terrorizing the locals on the way to racking up territorial gains. After all, indiscriminately killing civilians and conducting brutal executions can exert a powerful psychological effect on non combatants and on poorly trained, ill-prepared army regulars for weak Mid-East states.
You don’t, however, have a lot of options when it comes to countering an all-out aerial bombardment by one of the most powerful militaries on the planet. Your options are even more limited if said aerial bombardment is backed by thousands of fearless militiamen belonging to a group that’s been fighting Mid-East proxy wars for more than three decades.
So, with Russia in the skies over Syria and Hezbollah on the ground, ISIS is in a tough spot. But you know what they say: when the going gets tough, the tough get going, which explains why Islamic State has devised an innovative strategy for countering Russian airstrikes.
What they’ll do, you see, is inflate condoms and attach a homemade mine to them. They'll then float the condoms into the sky in an effort to create a kind of condom bomb sky minefield. That, ISIS figures, should deter Russian fighter jets.
Here’s Sputnik with some epic sarcasm:
Left with little recourse in the face of relentless Russian airstrikes, the self-proclaimed Islamic State terrorist group has apparently resorted to a fairly unique defensive strategy. According a video that surfaced online on Wednesday, the group has begun launching homemade condom bombs, hoping they’ll somehow veer into a Russian bomber.
While Sputnik cannot independently verify the authenticity of the video, it appears to show IS militants creating aerial mines out of condoms, which are then released into the skies over Idlib.
The entire arts-and-crafts project is shown, scored to look like some kind of bizarre extremist music video.
In a desperate move, the contraceptive contraptions are seemingly meant to drift into Russian bombers as they fly overhead. A clever – if fairly ineffective – strategy.
Yes, a “fairly ineffective strategy” indeed. Here’s the video:
As Sputnik goes on to note, "why IS prefers condoms to simple, run-of-the-mill balloons, is unclear, but if they think a bunch of exploding rubbers are going to scare off the military, they’ve clearly never been to Fleet Week."
At least now we know why the US has had such a hard time achieving results with 13 months of airstrikes - the condom bombs must be disrupting the operation...
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If what they say about ISIS is true, they were prolly utilizing previously used condoms.
Well, at least the sheep, goats and camels get a break while the condoms are diverted to military use....
And condoms get a P/R boost too - now it can be said they're really a blast to use....
Ah! The thought process of a bunch of inbreads.
So assuming these are all "bombs", what happens when they all come back to earth as eventually they must? Are you not in effect bombing yourself if they come back down on your position? And what if one of these "bombs" were to come untied upon launch and fall back onto your position?
I have a better idea for ISIS to try. The Flying Lawnchair. The concept has been proven to work about the flying aspect at least. Just take an AK-47 with and now you have an air to air combat aircraft ready to shoot down encroaching Russian aircraft. What could possibly go wrong?
Oh, cum on...that's just silly.
So when all these balloons eventually deflate or pop and little bombs come raining down all over themselves, is that Allah's will?
I have a better plan for them. I hear that you can get 100% accuracy at shooting down a plane if you aim through both ears of a human, because the entry hole and exit holes line up with the natural gravitation and magnetic forces of the earth when tracking a plane in flight. It's uncanny the accuracy you can get this way. And Allah wills it!
BBBBWWWWAAAAAHHHAAAA!!!!!!!
Ha crazy mother fuckers...
Muslims with condoms, must be another Western supply chain trying to get in on the action
CNBC's Kramer is saying buy, buy, buy! Condom stock a safe investment indeed
these most be the "safe" moderate groups doing this
When this technique doesn't work, can they move to Saudi for a break? My commodity stocks are waiting.
They need to put a guy with an RPG in a lawn chair suspended from 50 helium-filled condoms. That's a low budget anti-aircraft missile.
I guess it's true. War brings science and technology together like nothing else.
Somewhere in the MIC, someone is asking why the fuck didn't they think of this and how much can they overcharge the remaining taxpayers to get them flying.
If they can sell the F-35 they can sell anything. Next up, burning paper bags filled with shit.
first the guy with the cock bomb on the airplane and now cock bombs. the zionazis are real phallis worshippers. queer fantasy under the rainbow flag wing of the zionazi party must have planned this.
I juss don't think the IS boneheads can see the phallisy in this technology....
These fellows have potential as central bankers. Just tie bundles of money to condom balloons.
"why IS prefers condoms to simple, run-of-the-mill balloons, is unclear, . . "
Not really. They use condoms because they're dickheads.
Any particular brand better? Some have great weapon names, like Trojan Magnum.
Instead of a "Muslim caliphate", they want to create a "Muslim phallic state"!
LOL.
Willy the Coyote comes to mind.
"if they think a bunch of exploding rubbers are going to scare off the military, they’ve clearly never been to Fleet Week."
Hey, the navy's condoms don't leak. They may spurt a bit, but they don't leak.
... used condoms? or are all ISers virgins?
That commenter is correct. This just in from the US State Department.
ISIS's new leader is General Wile E. Coyote.
He plans on using many Acme products to combat Russian jets. Next, they will use giant rubber band slingshots to physically shotput ISIS fighters into the sky so they can shoot down the Russians as they fly by! He is also planning to use giant magnets to pull the jets out of the sky & to drop giant anvils & boulders on their troops.
&, if none of that works, he will use the deadliest weapon known to man - the Q45 Explosive Space Modulator!
Gagball IED's are next.
Given the way the oil price is trending, they're probably using USED condoms!!
Did they forget to include the law of gravity in the Koran? Things that go up must eventually come down. It would be sweet justice if the prevailing winds blew them all toward Mecca or Riyadh.
We Condomed some folks.
Most funny
Anyway these goatfcukers , animal & human sacrificing satanists have no idea how high fighter jets fly.