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CENTRAL PLANNING

 

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Wed, 11/11/2015 - 11:10 | 6777112 janus
janus's picture

good morning, ZHealots.  

this, the 11th day of the 11th month, is not an inauspicious day; which necessarily makes it auspicious.  and it is especially auspicious not only because we honor those brave boys felled in foreign fields of battle fighting rich men's wars for causes so contaminated with greed and mendacity it triggers the gag reflex in any with the tiniest mite of scruples, it is similarly the day janus selected to initiate the first phase of his vision-quest some four years ago...today.  today is also the day janus made his way to fort jackson, south carolina, where he was physically screened for entry into the united states air force and then put on a plane to san antonio, texas for basic training some seventeen years ago...today.  

yes, the 11th day of november has been one of significance and change in my life...as i was saying, auspiciousness par excellance.  regrettably, i haven't anything planned in remembrance of it.  instead, i was hoping Fortuna would come through with a propitious turn of her wheel.  of late i've been giving the matter of Fate quite a bit of consideration.  to my way of thinking, janus has done his part -- stuck his neck out, stepped out into the inky void, stared deeply into the abyss and even shouted some obscenities therein -- but the arc of events and my own trajectory have yet to mate in time & space.

that is not to say i haven't met with some success.  from the beginning it has been my stated purpose to influence the influencers; and in that respect i do know that my efforts here have attracted the attention of many influential personages.  inasmuch as there aren't any metrics by which one can assess the measure of my success, lacking as i do in book sales, public recognition or what-have-you and conversely abundant in anonymity, poverty and ignominy, it would be easy for many (including myself) to dismiss all my labors as meaningless ephemera -- just fodder to fuel vanity's bonfire.  and while it is true that janus cannot point to any particulars, i will relate a strange encounter from this just past summer.

looking back, i suppose i would've thrown in the towel long ago if it weren't for strange encounters like the one that follows.  my experience in boston has been peppered with them, and they seem to come just when my spirit is flagging and thoughts of responsibility viz. my family start to ballast the hopes & enthusiasm that keep my dreams afloat.  crazy as this all may seem to many, i do carefully evaluate the merits of my odd enterprise; and though i could've provided my family with greater material comforts in this span of years, they continue to believe in me; and as i contemplate the shame i'll feel in a month & 1/2 when our humble xmas tree broods over a bleak array of cheap trinkets instead of presents, i start feeling a bit blue.  nevertheless, and taking a broad view of things, we still have food, shelter & clothing...i'm still holding it all together, if but barely...and crazy as i keep telling myself this shit is, Destiny seems closer than ever.

strange encounter:  while ubering along the cape's bicep janus picked up a fare from hyannis to orleans.  the trip spans about 20 miles in just over 30 minutes, and during the bulk of it this gentlemen and i discussed topics of every variety.  but it wasn't until we were near his beach house that janus made a discovery.  as we approached his summer residence this guy casually noted that timmy guitner's place was not far from where we were.  now, i have a certain knack for discerning the occupation of strangers after a very short spell of conversation, and because i sensed that my passenger was part of the finance world it seemed best to avoid the subject (i tend to get bogged down in the minutiae of money once it's broached) but the invocation of that name (timmy g) forced the topic to the fore.  after discovering that this guy was working at the highest level of one of the world's largest hedge funds (a fund whose name is known to 90% of we Hedgers...easily 90%), i couldn't help but ask if he were familiar with Zero Hedge.  look, i know just as well as any the first rule of Fight Club; but, just because we can't 'talk' about Fight Club doesn't mean we can't 'ask' about Fight Club.  sure, sneaky bit of semantics; i know.  still, i like to occasionally check and gauge the depth to which we've penetrated.  he responded by affirming that 'everyone' reads Zero Hedge.  and then, well, vanity took over...janus couldn't help but ask if he'd heard of 'janus'. "yes" was his answer followed by a question of his own, "are you janus?".  my answer, "yes".  vanity again prodded shamefully for some praise and forced me to ask if he liked what i wrote.  his answer: "you don't understand how widely you're read...no joke, my top clients all talk about you and a few other posters.  seriously, one of my biggest clients collects your stuff.  please, keep doing what you're doing."

ZHealots, that's the truth and it's high praise.  i promised not to mention that guy's name nor his specific fund...but i did say there was a chance i would someday write about our strange encounter.  and so i have.

anyway, today's piece is not for the prurient purpose of patting myself on the back, it is rather due to the fact that Destiny has finally laid before me a clear path to glory, fame, fortune and whatnot.  

in the world of Destiny "coincidence" is not found among the inhabitant's lexicon, it is a place altogether lacking in such a silly phenomena...'everything' portends 'something'.  as such, i knew there was something significant to my Mississippi State Bulldogs traveling all the way to columbia, missouri for-to thoroughly thrash their pathetic tigers...right in their own back yard.  and thrash them we did.

as through a glass darkly, janus started to see the purpose of events with greater clarity as this latest race-based fracas fulminated throughout the amorican psyche.  it seems clear to me that every member of any university's administration must go personally scrub anything incendiary written in feces; they must also submit to mobs of agitated do-gooders when they aggressively surround their vehicle with race-based menace; they should also avoid being white & male at all costs.  let me be be as clear as possible: onward, social crusaders.  burn it all to the fucking ground.  get out there and protest; demand redress; shout, stomp and sit-in.  hey-hey/ho-ho 2/3rds of academia has got to go!  i want to see every superfluous institution of higher learning ablaze in acrimony.  bring the gears of this nonsense to a grinding halt.  since we've come to a point where the types who've successfully petitioned for the removal of a university president should never be at a university to begin with, it's high-time we let the snake consume itself.  let us all stand back and watch entropy do its thing. it will be beautiful.

but cheered as i was at seeing these feckless acamadicians reap what they've sown, i still couldn't see how janus fit into all of it.  that is until today. 

for those who lack the capacity to pick out patterns, there is an ever-so subtle motif threaded throughout WB's art today.  it didn't come readily to me, either; but after the forth or fifth pic, i finally got it: banksters' pinheads superimposed on roided-out meat-heads posing in neon banana-hammocks.  as to the relevance of this motif, i'll get to it in just a minute -- in that it serves as the missing link betwixt janus and Destiny.

for now i'll introduce the other element to be mixed within the alchemy of my destiny: wellesley college.  not long ago i had another uber fare, but instead of hedge-fund honchos my prius was packed with wellesly gals...all of them eager hillary acolytes...each of them percolating with the kind of piety and sanctimony that you'll find at any planned parenthood clinic (i mean, really, amorica...have we come to a point where the sale of intact aborted babies is a trivial afterthought and a national campaign is provoked against a fast-food chain if its ceo sheepishly confesses his preference for a traditional definition of marriage? wtf?).  as they were departing my prius to enter an ostentatious mansion, i asked after wellesley's mascot.  they said they hadn't one.    

tragic, thought janus.  

i mean to say, what do these girls rally about when their team is facing defeat?  what do they paste on banners for the cheerleaders to parade?  sure, wellesley doesn't have a football, basketball nor baseball team; but that doesn't mean they don't compete.  how sad that they can't chant the name of some mascot at the national knit-offs.  there is no avatar at the annual nag-a-thons.  why, they took top prize at this year's menstruation and hysterics olympics...but it's as nothing without a mascot.  and so janus has assumed the duty of assigning the wellesley gals with a mascot.  just as with the construction and founding of that university, it must be left to a man to do the meaningful work.

my first instinct was to submit for consideration "the battle ax".  this grim bitch would be dressed in the garb of some turn of the century hag, straight from the marches of this country's first social crusade -- prohibition.  yes, these cunts have been trying to make our lives miserable from the get-go.  for you see, the term battle-ax comes from the prohibition era, insofar as prohibition was the first feminist cause.  they were called battle-axes because these gals would, shortly after downing a fifth of laudnum (popular opiate of the day) grip their hatchets and storm into the speak-easys to hack the barrels of hooch to bits.  and prohibition being the unqualified success that it was, i thought it meet to honor those brave lasses with a mascot at wellesley. 

thinking this mascot a tad obscure and arcane, i next reckoned that wellesley should have an emblem immediately recognizable to all.  and what icon is more emblematic of the wellesley gal than the standard witch.  here's the thing, feminism was not established to advance the cause of women, per se; only that of ugly bitches and vexing witches.  if you think feminists hate men, it is nothing compared to their contempt for attractive women...O-M-G, do they hate the fair and truly feminine!  in point of fact, feminism is the mode by which witches intend to secure vengeance against the pretty ones.  fair warning, beautiful ladies -- the hillarys of the world positively detest you, trust them at your own peril.  

but i abandon the witch mascot because it wasn't fair to the hot chics at wellesley; and though there are only 3 at that university, they mean the world to me.  there were a few other candidates entertained, but none of them really stuck; and my thinking on the matter has since been stunted.  until, that is, until today.

and now for intermission and a cig.  here's a lil dedication to wellesley.  wellesley gals, this is what the women who make this world go round look like.  janus' father once dated a miss america runner-up in starkville, ms -- he had to dump her for coming in second place (poor thing).  back in the sixties, i think there were like six miss americas from mississippi...the state is just choc-a-bloc full of hot honies, which explains their underrepresentation at wellesley.  and so, fugly wellesley bitches, here's a sample of grade-a magnolia magnificence.  (full disclosure: janus was a 'house-boy' at this particular sorority back in the day.  it was a cool job.  as the saying goes, 'nothing quite as fi-fi-fine as a phi-phi-mu')

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K7T_-_qikc

hate on, wellesley.

my tender heart has been bleeding profusely since first espying the mug of that ghastly professor click.  she's sorta stuck in no-man's-land (pun intended)...too cute for wellesley/too ugly for any place else.  after watching her shrill demands that a student be assaulted, something inside me 'clicked' (again, pun intended).  almost as if it all came together for me.  at long last, janus has his cause.

okay, before i lay this out, i want you all to put down the coffee, take a deep breath and brace yourselves for the shock of a lifetime.  you're all about to be offended in ways you cannot possibly anticipate.

did you bitchez know that there is an elite university here in massachusetts that discriminates exclusively on the basis of gender?  did you furthermore know that one of the leading candidates for president is an alum of the university in question?  can you believe that this candidate has yet to distance itself from this unacceptably antiquated form of horrible bigotry?

believe it or not, wellesley college is an all girls school!  and to think, in this enlightened age, and at an institution so important, they still cling to this shameful policy.  just think of all the 'underserved' males that could be elevated in life through the wellesley experience.  seriously, this social crusading has to cut both ways -- how can it be taken seriously otherwise?  no SJW of integrity can sit there and say to me that the citadel should accept women and wellesley shouldn't take its share of men...particularly those from 'underserved' communities.  the south-side of chicago, watts, the mississippi delta, harlem...all of them communities bristling with future wellesley alum.  and so, mrs. clinton, janus calls on you to lead the charge.  it's time to bring wellesley into the 21st century!  

but i doubt hillary will do anything...she's always looked to men to provide leadership and initiative.  lacking in courage, fortitude and conviction she rides on men's coattails.  whether it be bill, saul alinsky, webb hubble, larry nichols, don tyson, vince foster...hillary has always waited for a man to show her the way.  and so, madame secretary, allow janus to light your path.

in the coming weeks i will be assembling a list of wellesley's administration for resignation.  beyond the prima facia case of gender bias, there was a recent episode at wellesley upon which i can predicate these demands, to wit: there was a 'man'-nequin placed in wellesley's quad wearing only a pair of tighty-whities.  this symbol of masculinity was first defaced with unseemly vandalism and then stolen -- a clear demonstration of the hate that pervades every corner of that place.  where is was the uproar?  where were the crusaders?  a symbol of our much-maligned gender was defaced and abused at wellseley, and now is the time to respond!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2552402/All-female-Wellesley-Col...

finally, in order that we may ensure an environment of equality and inclusion at wellesley, i've decided on wellesley's future mascot.  i must say, there have been some jim-dandy bits of genius to come my way, but this one takes the cake...girls, janus is happy to announce that your long search for a mascot is at an end.  get ready to start shaking your pom-poms, fire-up those bumper-sticker printers and prepare to squeal with delight.  your mascot and avatar-as-ambassador is: The Man.  brilliant in its simplicity and a prescient promise for the future composition of wellesley's student body.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiUEmYbCVak

God bless mother nature/

she's a single woman, too/

she took on heaven/

and she did what she had to do/

hallelujah, it's raining men,

janus 

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 11:23 | 6777191 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Janus, repost this under my latest post...

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 08:32 | 6776500 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

what happened to mr yellen, you misogynest??

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 08:32 | 6776499 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

oops

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 00:35 | 6775898 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

What happened to their Kashless Society?

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 23:00 | 6775633 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Hey William, I think this patch is near to what I want but I don't like that bike.

http://www.patchstop.com/independent-no-club-us-flag-biker-patch-motorcycle-patches.html

 

However, it is not exactly what I want.  I won't do Merican flags.  None of my pins are Merican flags and never will be.  The Captain America bike is one thing but I can't wear colors that represent the statists.  It is black and white and chrome in my world.  How do we make a ZeroHedge a patch or is it even worth it to do it?  If no one cares then I will do it myself.  It will have a top rocker that says "ZEROHEDGE", a patch and a bottom rocker that says something like "worldwide".  I'm not sure yet about that yet but it means you are in an MC.  It means that we are brothers and do not fuck with us.

We just need to figure out what the patch and bottom rocker should be.  I will get it done.  It needs a sugar skull for those loved ones we have lost.   

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 00:35 | 6775899 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

How about a black leather jacket that says Goldman Sucks in flag letters instead of hells Angels?

Come to think of it, I would like a bomber jacket that says:

Banzai7

Destroy The Image!

With a big finger poking out the evil eye...

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 00:52 | 6775945 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

OK, I like that idea.  I will never do Hell's Angels patch because I am NOT part of that MC.  That would be very wrong.  You just can't decide that you are a Hells Angel and patch yourself.  Those folks are a different group.  We are our own group and we are not 1%ers.

Whatever you would like to do William would be great.        

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:42 | 6775321 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

As you can see I collect central Planning covers.

It's my favorite asshat class.

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:41 | 6775314 t0mmyBerg
t0mmyBerg's picture

Fukkin a awesome banzai

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:38 | 6775299 Zero-Hegemon
Zero-Hegemon's picture

"I Was a Junk Troll On Zero Hedge"

Where can I get a subscription?

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:24 | 6775242 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

banzai these are great!!

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:08 | 6775148 Reaper
Reaper's picture

No steroids or exercise program could turn any of these blood sucking leeches into men.

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:46 | 6774760 SMC
SMC's picture

Awesome!  Thanks! :-)

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:38 | 6775304 Lets Buy The Dip
Lets Buy The Dip's picture

haha that TARP thing is funny. Lots of zh'ers talk about that, but that pic is funny as hell. 

The guys are gold man, know they keep saying a interest rate rise is coming, but it never does. Ground hog day there. 

This video here, shows that we are now back in a FULL on bull market. =>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRzuyt9KMoY

So next year, more up is coming, could be lots more up. Time will tell.

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:26 | 6774683 superdave
superdave's picture

Alex: I'll take oilin' up for the FOMC for $500!

WB7 you're really crankin' today!  One day I'll learn...don't drink a beverage while reading your posts! 

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:26 | 6774678 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Little Timmy's bulge for Ben is frightening

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:06 | 6774616 Crocodile
Crocodile's picture

The best!!

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 18:51 | 6774551 toadold
toadold's picture

The Japanese have this term, hard gay. only I think they are a bit more open about what they are and they don't try to steal your money.

However the reportedly will kiss you before they try and shaft you. 

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 18:48 | 6774540 toadold
toadold's picture

"cut off  point," has a new meaning for me.

Chains saw anyone?

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 01:49 | 6776043 cents gradeschool
cents gradeschool's picture

#fagfatigue

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:24 | 6774674 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Your wish granted...

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 17:43 | 6774328 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CENTRAL PLANNING (JULY 2013)

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:39 | 6774729 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

don't worry Ben will slice that bear into tranches which are all AAA rated

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:18 | 6774655 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Look out! It's the deflation bear!

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 17:42 | 6774324 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CENTRAL PLANNING MAGAZINE

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:18 | 6775208 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Ironic, that Timmah's middle name is Franz - as in, "Hans and --- ."

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 17:41 | 6774320 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CENTRAL PLANNING MAGAZINE (RISK ON VERSION)

Wed, 11/11/2015 - 02:38 | 6776108 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over the top, WB.

Thank goodness I have learned to NEVER have food or drink in my mouth while I puruse this site...

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 22:41 | 6775543 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Anybody can strap on a dildo but this is downright ridiculous.

Of course a strap on is the only thing that gets Melissa Click's panties all wet.

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 21:11 | 6774814 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

WB7 - you have crafted many classic images, but this one is, without question, one of the top three. The "Iron Shill" is the visual exposition of the Wall Street culture of pumping bullshitters.

Risk on !

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:16 | 6774649 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 19:58 | 6774829 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

So Cramer has a woodie on about his latest trade on AAPL...

Is Tim Cook waiting in the wings?!?

Inquiring minds want to know...

DaddyO

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 20:24 | 6774937 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I think Banzai photo shopped in more "credentials" than Krammer is actually due ;-)

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 23:00 | 6775635 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Meh, it's just a wad of athletic socks!

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 17:41 | 6774318 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CENTRAL PLANNING MAGAZINE

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 20:00 | 6774835 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Pin head anyone?

This one always cracks me up...

DaddyO

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 17:40 | 6774311 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

CENTRAL PLANNING MAGAZINE

Tue, 11/10/2015 - 22:34 | 6775526 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Oh......what a He Man........I believe I've got The Vapors!

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