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Chuck Norris: World War III Started Last Friday In Paris

Tyler Durden's picture




 

If you know anything about Chuck Norris (or his alter ego Walker Texas Ranger), you know that he’s not one to take things lying down. 

Just look at what happened over the summer when, after a number of Texans got worried about the US Spec Ops Command’s Jade Helm 15 “exercises,” Norris warned The Pentagon that the drills came “a little too close to the backdoor of [his] ranch.” 

A few months later, after Norris became “exhausted” with Tehran’s nuclear “antics”, Walker suggested that if he were allowed to speak for and act on behalf of the entire international community, the Bahamas would never obtain a nuclear weapon, Iranian drug dealers would never be given a 90-day heads up to hide their stash, and most importantly, Iran’s nuclear ambitions would be "sniffed" out and "pre-emptive strikes" would be launched.

Well, in the wake of the Paris attacks, Norris is out with a new missive titled simply, “World War III?”

No, really. Just click the link, you'll see.

In it, we get a history lesson, a quantitative assessment of Islamic State’s power vis-a-vis other Sunni extremist groups, and all sorts of semantic shenanigans. Below, find some highlights and commentary. 

First, Norris says this:

...if you weren’t convinced before, now you know what a disorganized World War III looks like from the six simultaneous Paris terror attacks by ISIS that killed at least 129 precious souls and injured more than 300 more. And to think just a year ago, President Obama called ISIS “a jayvee team.” In fact, on Friday morning just before the attacks in Paris, President Obama again minimized ISIS’ power as he shared on “Good Morning America,” “I don’t think they’re gaining ground. What is true is that from the start, our goal has been first to contain, and we have contained them. … We’ve [also] made some progress in trying to reduce the flow of foreign fighters...”

 

Whoops. Another misdirected miscalculation.

We’re not sure what a “misdirected miscalculation” is, and the word “convinced” doesn’t work with the phrase “now you know”, but Norris is correct that Obama had a rather unfortunate soundbite on Good Morning America and we think we understand what Chuck is trying to say. But just so we’re sure, let’s see if he can clear it up:

I believe these coordinated murder sprees in Paris may go down in history like the Nazis’ invasion of Poland on Sept. 1, 1939, as the spark that lit the fuse for a wider European involvement in World War II. Though apples and oranges in warfare, the impact of ISIS in Syria and Iraq is comparable to Hitler’s annexation of Czechoslovakia and Austria, which caused great concern and condemnation but not greater European revolt.

Ok, got it. ISIS taking territory in Syria and Iraq is a lot like Anschluss and the German occupation of Sudetenland. You see, late 1930s Germany was a rising industrial and military powerhouse capable of annexing entire states by decree. Much like ISIS, a ragtag group of desert bandits operating out of bombed out cities in the war-torn Middle East.

But hey, at least Norris admits their style of warfare is “apples to oranges.” 

It took the closer invasion of Poland to provoke a military battle from France and Great Britain. So, I believe, ISIS’ attacks on Paris will prompt Western nations and others to coalesce against ISIS like never before, especially for those countries whose victims lie among the dead and injured.

Well, on that point we’d have to agree, although we think Chuck may be missing a thing or two when it comes to understanding the real motivation for Western troops going to Syria. 

The expansion of ISIS’ footprint is undeniable. The jihadists possess a hundredfold the power of al-Qaida and, in their own estimation, are well on the way to Caliphate victory.

Yes, they “possess a hundredfold the power of al-Qaeda.” We would love to know how Norris calculated that and we’d also like to know what “well on the way to Caliphate victory” means. Does that mean the Caliphate itself is nearly victorious? Or does that mean ISIS is soon to be victorious in realizing its goal of creating a Caliphate? Because if it’s the former, well, of course they’re going to say that - we're sure that "by their own estimation", ISIS is a lot of things. If it’s the latter, we suggest Norris take a look at a map of some real historical Caliphates and decide how close he thinks ISIS is to realizing their goal.


In true Walker fashion, Norris goes out in a blaze of glory with four policy recommendations. 

Number 1: Mr. President, we need you to quit sticking your head in the sands of cultural, military and religious ignorance and minimizing the power of ISIS. We need you to unleash the full force of the U.S. military and U.S. Intelligence to destroy it both domestically and abroad. We must triple the protection at all of our ports and borders. It is also imperative that nations around the globe join us in collectively stopping ISIS’ Caliphate.

Right. It is imperative that nations around the globe "join in collectively stopping ISIS", which is why it's so damn curious that Washington steadfastly refuses to cooperate with Russia and Iran on doing just that.

Number 2: We need the White House and major mainstream media to quit downplaying Islamic terrorism and playing politically correct cards by moving away from terms like terrorists and jihadists, and condoning Islamic extremism under the rubric of pacifying peaceful Muslims.

Yeah, really. What's with the lack of ISIS media coverage? Besides the fact that CNN has run nothing but ISIS coverage for 72 straight hours to the point that apparently, everyone other than Anderson Cooper and Erin Burnett just got to take three whole days off, and besides this...

...it's almost like no one cares. 

Number 3: We do not need Washington to foolishly open its arms to Syrian refugees when we are in a war with ISIS. Are we naïve enough to believe that the jihadists aren’t packing the flood of Syrian refugees with their minions and importing their jihad into multiple nations around the world, including the U.S.?

Honestly Chuck, who knows at this point and since we've covered it on any number of occasions, we'll just leave it for now.

Number 4: One year from now, we absolutely need a new (Republican) president who rebuilds and expands the U.S. military and U.S. Intelligence, fighting Islamic jihadists like never before, before they succeed in coordinated acts of terror in the U.S. that make Paris and even Sept. 11 seem like Islamic child’s play.

Ah, yes and there it is. The obligatory political plug. Fair enough. Everyone is entitled to that every now and again we suppose.

The irony here is that Norris' premise may in fact be right. That is, what happened in Paris may very well be the spark that starts World War III and so on that point we have to give it to Walker: he seems to be drawing a plausible connection between Poland ca. 1939 and Paris 2015 although it's not at all clear that he fully appreciates what might well be going on behind the scenes.

If Norris is right and World War III did indeed start last Friday in Paris, the only question for ISIS now is this: will Walker be joining the fight? 

Because if so, expect Raqqa to fall in about, oh, let's just call it 14 minutes...

 

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Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:55 | 6801682 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Put his grandson, Max, on the front line in Syria for a tour of duty.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801693 coinhead
coinhead's picture

Call we cynical, but we are doubtful of any Hollywood-affiliated "truthers" like Segal, Norris, Damon and Sheen.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801704 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Chuck Norris once pee'd on an 18 wheeler. It became Optimus Prime!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:00 | 6801717 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

I want to know what is Adam West's take on all this?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:15 | 6801779 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

If WW3 started on Friday, then who the hell are we at war with?

Its not like Russia or China sponsored the Paris attacks.

More like, invite poisonous snakes into your living room don't be surprise if you get bit.

So, are we at war with ourselves for inviting these pit vipers into our bosom?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:35 | 6801890 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Nah, that's just your hope ending in failure.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:38 | 6801893 ACP
ACP's picture

A continuous state of war was inevitable the day oil was discovered in the ME (Hundred Years' War?). Think this is bad now? Imagine what will happen when the oil runs out? Are the stupid, PC Germans going to "welcome" 500,000,000 muslim refugees?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:43 | 6801916 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Chuck Norris doesn't move when he does pushups. He pushes the earth away and pulls it back again.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:04 | 6802033 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It's not that the US starts wars and does false flag operations.... we've been doing that for decades.  It's just that we are doing it so fucking BADLY these days.  Even I can see though this tissue of lies and I'll believe damned near anything with a semi-believable explanation attached.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:51 | 6802170 Tejano
Tejano's picture

He's an actor. Who cares what Chuck Norris has to say?

 

ZH, really? Hollywood Reporter maybe.

 

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:13 | 6802274 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Right. Chuck Norris is not some badass rugged individual gunslinger... hes an actor. His job is to trick you into thinking he is something that he is not through charisma and theatrics and acting. He's also a fundamentalist Christian and a creationist.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:32 | 6802327 stormsailor
stormsailor's picture

he was bruce lee's sparring partner, so i do imagine he can kick a little as if he needs to.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:06 | 6802424 juangrande
juangrande's picture

He got the kicks down, but he missed out on the philosophical/spiritual teachings from martial arts. Martial arts, at least in the far east, were developed for protection AND as a precursor for young students to deeper contemplative practices.

 

He appears to be more like the "bad" sensei in Karate Kid.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:30 | 6802460 dfwpike
dfwpike's picture
Chuck Norris: World War III Started Last Friday In Paris

 

Uh, no.  World War III started on September 11, 2001.  3000 lives vs 129.  Do the math.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:03 | 6802861 Manthong
Manthong's picture

911 got us Muslim outreach.

WWIII won’t start in MENA. Everything there is going according to the Global Elitist plan; divide, create chaos, create fear then provide the oppressive "government" security solution.

WWIII will start in East Asia, maybe the South China Sea, North Korea, Pakistan or Viet Nam where the elitists have far less influence or control..

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:08 | 6802892 Manthong
Manthong's picture

BTW, if you want to see the end of the world as you know it, just look here..

http://www.advocate.com/youth/2015/11/15/boy-stars-new-barbie-commercial

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 00:52 | 6803181 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!

 

WTF?

 

Social Justice Warriors got ahold of Mattel.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 03:10 | 6803394 Manthong
Manthong's picture

The only way to fix this is to starve the beast.

I would make it known to Mattel that there will never be any of their product in my, or my extended families homes.

and.. I would make it crystal clear to my legislators that if they have anything to do with this disruptive enterprise, i will work aggressively against them.

This approach is a little short of the 1793 French solution..

..which is the fix the elite so richly deserve.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 05:13 | 6803505 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Look..

The faggots in Hollywood and the rest of the “creative” media have had a laser focus, and that has been getting to the kids.

The gay thing (not that there is anything wrong with that), the bi-sex thing (well, WTF no holes barred), and then the trans- genital thing (who know WTF sex I am)….  was all engineered towards breaking down the barriers and getting to the kids.  Well, F Mattel.. they are just another agent towards getting your kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews into the sexualized vortex of evil. Just make sure they have a camera phone at 12 YOA so that we have a graphic archive.

Have a nice AIDS cocktail, Mr. Tiger Blood.

 

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 13:37 | 6804945 Isy
Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:03 | 6802868 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

I was an idyllic idiot until researching WT7.  Never Again. 

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 05:13 | 6803506 PhilofOz
PhilofOz's picture

Unfortunately there are way too many brain-dead cretins out there totally incapable of critical thought. Their cognitive dissonance means they will never dare research WTC7 for it would mean their whole cozy little world will fall completely apart.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:04 | 6802430 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master of Tai Kwan Do, among other things - even at 75, I'd say he's probably still a badass enough.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:24 | 6802936 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Somebody please sit down with Chuck and explain that it's the fed that needs his kung fu kicks to the throat.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:58 | 6802624 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

His job is to trick you into thinking he is something that he is not through charisma and theatrics and acting.

 

So he IS a politician then?

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 09:17 | 6803910 newdoobie
newdoobie's picture

Chucks acting is horrible

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:07 | 6802663 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

He is absolutely a badass. He could put anyone here down. At least in his prime.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:11 | 6802903 Drop out
Drop out's picture

You're right. +1. He could have put me down in my prime. Now, I'm not so sure (dirt is falling on my face) if he can make it here in time.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:22 | 6802501 thestarl
thestarl's picture

I think Norris has had one to many kicks to the head

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:15 | 6802910 Drop out
Drop out's picture

You perhaps, one too few?

Edit: Must keep the balance.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:11 | 6802172 Chief Wonder Bread
Chief Wonder Bread's picture

I got this link today in an email from a friend.

http://usdefensewatch.com/2015/11/world-war-iii-the-free-world-vs-radica...

the Neocon crazies are ramping up the rhetoric with the WWIII meme among the clueless goyim.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:05 | 6802435 HungryPorkChop
HungryPorkChop's picture

@Chief Wonder Bread : This is bullish.  No wonder the stawk' markets were up today. 

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:05 | 6802041 Four chan
Four chan's picture

chuck norris doesnt just eat pussy, he eats pussy out!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:20 | 6802096 ratso
ratso's picture

Chuck Norris is just another blow hard disguised in a mucsle suit. WHO gives a DAMN what he thinks

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:28 | 6802129 Muh Raf
Muh Raf's picture

Leader of Paris attack uncovered by vigilant Spanish hacks. You absolutely can't make this sh*t up. F*cking mental. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sikh-mans-image-photosh...

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:37 | 6802152 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

Just goes to show you, just because you can act like a tough guy, doesn't mean you're not a dumbass.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:32 | 6802755 Sparkey
Sparkey's picture

Ya Muf Raf, I saw the picture, I dunno what to think, I mean 'I can see him right there in the photo' perhaps if he had an 'enhanced' interrogation, and the interrogators said he 'seems' to be telling the truth he could be allowed some freedom, under survellince of course< Because for sure, we can't be too careful from here to Victory day!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:30 | 6802321 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

Chuck Norris thinks whatever he is paid to think.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 05:54 | 6803561 RockySpears
RockySpears's picture

On the first day, Chuck Norris created God.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:37 | 6802766 NotGrokkingIt
NotGrokkingIt's picture

You need to work on your delivery...

 

He doesn't do push-ups, he does Earth-downs.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:09 | 6802258 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

IMO, there is a very real chance that parts of the ME will get glassed when oil runs out because of that. 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:27 | 6802315 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

IMO, there is a very real chance that parts of the ME will get glassed...period.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:42 | 6802351 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture

Yes, but everybody involved is going to give it their damndest to wait until the oil runs out first. 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:28 | 6802523 divingengineer
divingengineer's picture

Well,  we'll wait as long as we can, but...

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:43 | 6802579 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I...if we cannot have then neither can you.

 

Dawg in the Manger Syndrome

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:16 | 6801793 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

We are at war with the Bogeyman, he who shall not be named, and he is everywhere. Trust no one. See something say something. Tremble in fear........

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:23 | 6801827 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

That's quite a coincidence; I once bought an 18-wheeler on FleaBay that allegedly Norris peed on. I'm now "watching" those highly sought after "Lightly used Kim Kartrashian panties" on FleaBay but demand is hot.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:44 | 6801926 Overfed
Overfed's picture

The bogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:54 | 6801971 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Evidently someone has no sense of humor. And by the way, Chuck Norris doesn't dress up for halloween. He's scary enough.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:06 | 6802243 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.

All kidding aside, the guy is major tool. Maybe he was cool in '76..... Maybe.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:31 | 6802537 divingengineer
divingengineer's picture

Chuck Norris has chunks of downvoters in his stool.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 06:42 | 6803615 Victor von Doom
Victor von Doom's picture

Actually, your right on the mark Pure Evil. "We", meaning "our" ZioJewBankster owned government is at war with "us" - meaning the common man.

You got it in one.

 

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 07:56 | 6803714 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

"If WW3 started on Friday, then who the hell are we at war with?"

 

Satan.  He has infiltrated our government.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:56 | 6801995 T.Gracchus
T.Gracchus's picture

....And what about David Hasslehoff? He was Knight-Rider, so surely we should seek his opinion on .....well, the Saudi Arabian invasion of Yemen? Or maybe find out what Jan-Michael Vincent of Air-Wolf fame has to say about the problems in Ukraine?  

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:56 | 6802211 Gypsy Ramono
Gypsy Ramono's picture

Billy, you are right. Obama needs to get on the Bat Phone and tell Batman that Chuck Norris requires the Super Friends to go with him to Syria to kick some ISIS ass! Fuck with the USA and see what happens you Moslem goat fucking, pieces of shit! 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:31 | 6802531 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

Billy has no problem with folks who practice Islam but he does downvote assholes.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:20 | 6802713 Gypsy Ramono
Gypsy Ramono's picture

I have no problem with Islam either. I think it is great that you are allowed to beat your wives, stone adulterers to death, rape with impunity, fuck boys, blow up infidels, chop off hands for stealing, chop off heads for speaking out against Islam and best of all fuck goats. Is that PC enough for ya Sunshine?

Wait until you experience Sharia Law or better still go live in their fucked up countries.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:44 | 6802736 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

 American law says that your daughter has to get naked with transvestites in the school shower.  Is that PC enough for ya, Caitlyn?

 

U.S. orders girls' locker room access for transgender Illinois student

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/11/03/us-illinois-transgender-idUSKC...

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:49 | 6802821 Gypsy Ramono
Gypsy Ramono's picture

So fucking what? In Sweden, you can get naked and have saunas with chicks, big deal. If you have a problem with that you had better call Batman and Robin to fix it, or better still send your daughter to a Moslem school. I am not from the US, who the fuck is Caitlyn?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:53 | 6802839 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

I am not from the US

 

Oh, nevermind then. I only talk to real people.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:01 | 6802866 Gypsy Ramono
Gypsy Ramono's picture

That is the saddest comeback ever!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:12 | 6802895 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

What's more sad, my affected misunderstanding and dislike of people who aren't like me or your real misunderstanding and dislike of people who aren't like you?

Of course, I'm assuming that the folks in whatever God forsaken country you inhabit understand irony. Just to be clear: If you no likee them Muslim and that good then why me no likey not American Joes is bad?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:25 | 6802938 Gypsy Ramono
Gypsy Ramono's picture

Fuck Daddyo, your English really sucks, it's worse than mine. " If you no likee them Muslim and that good then why me no likey not American Joes is bad?"

Are you on drugs or drunk?

Muslims also practice female circumcision, so yes I do have a mild dislike for their culture.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:28 | 6802945 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

But you celebrate male circumcision as the first step on the road to trannyhood, don't you, Caitlyn? And why are you too ashamed to mention the name of your so called country?

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 00:21 | 6803114 401K of Dooom
401K of Dooom's picture

The name of his country is Massachusetts.  I lived there for several years and after a couple of years it dawned on me that the people of the bay state were only pretending to be Americans.  They are mooching off of the real Americans and enjoying a free ride.  They became a separate country back when James Michael Curley became governor.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:10 | 6802100 The central planners
The central planners's picture

Nah, that was Putin and became it a topol launch unit

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:35 | 6801886 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"we are doubtful of any Hollywood-affiliated "truthers" like Segal, Norris, Damon and Sheen."

An interesting bit on poor Charlie Sheen, he's about to publicly admit he's HIV positive:

https://www.yahoo.com/tv/s/report-charlie-sheen-announce-hes-181650138.html

I thought he looked like he was losing a lot of weight. Maybe his meltdown a few years back when he was fired from Two and a Half Men was when he was first diagnosed.

ISIS scumbags and similar, I would wish HIV upon them. How ironic would that be? Most anyone else, including Charlie, nope.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:07 | 6802246 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

I think Charlie Sheen is one Hollywood truther you can trust.

I'm almost positive

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:19 | 6802489 atthelake
atthelake's picture

Damn shame. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:06 | 6802877 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Why are actors and actresses even quoted by the press. It's as if they are more intelligent human beings than the rest of us. The worse part is that they actually believe they are so important that their opinion matters to us in the low classes.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 06:48 | 6803624 Victor von Doom
Victor von Doom's picture

What the actors think is irrelevant. What Joe fuckwitt thinks has impact however - and Joe fuckwitt is dumb enough to listen to these paid flunkies because he likes their movies.

Think about it - what is the difference between an actor and a politician? One might have charisma.

America even hires actors AS politicians.

TPTB do it because it works, sad though that is.

 

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 12:25 | 6804707 lordkoos
lordkoos's picture

In other words, fuck Chuck.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 23:06 | 6801850 BullyBearish
BullyBearish's picture

Chuck Chuck Bo Buck, Banana Bana Bo...nevermind

 

Didn't realize Chuck was such an idol

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:27 | 6801854 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Nice plastic surgery Chuck. Queer!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:49 | 6801965 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

Chuck is employed in the entertainment indusrty. He isn't allowed to age gracefully due to the type of films he does. Same story with Stallone. I'd love to see your coward ass call Chuck a queer to his face.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:09 | 6802255 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Because Chuck would kick his ass? For what? Calling him queer? How old are you? Chuck is 75.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 22:27 | 6802738 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

Chuck doesn't have to kick people's ass dumb fuck, all he has to do is glare at them and they vaporize, hell everybody knows that.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 09:49 | 6804008 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Another Golan-Globus production.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:10 | 6802062 doctor10
doctor10's picture

yeah right Chuck...have you spoken to Rahm Emmanual about the Chicago situation recently?  what happened in Paris is few nights work of the Chicago brutha's-and they get it done quietly without much fanfare

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:25 | 6802109 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

Not quite, but not too far wrong. Here's a very nicely done graphical web page with Chicago's running stats:

http://heyjackass.com/

Year to date in Chicago:

Shot & Killed: 393

Shot & Wounded: 2270

Total Shot: 2663

Total Homicides: 445

Which goes to show exactly why we shouldn't accept a police state in exchange for the grossly exaggerated threat of terrorism.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:11 | 6802071 Sonic the porcupine
Sonic the porcupine's picture

If I was a guard at the compound, I would run towards the person shooting everyone, whilst not actually returning fire.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:13 | 6802079 Sonic the porcupine
Sonic the porcupine's picture

Also, rather than rely on my compatriots to hear the sound of automatic gunfire and exploding grenades, I would focus on working the manual alarm, while the enemy was reloading, rather than returning fire with the AK-47 sling on my back.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:18 | 6802098 The central planners
The central planners's picture

Its not good to learn "history" from bibis best friend.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:54 | 6801684 dimwitted economist
dimwitted economist's picture

Hey!

That OLD Dude did the Movie "Invasion USA"

it was about Terrorists Invading the USA!!!! 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:07 | 6801751 Carpenter1
Carpenter1's picture

Perfect example of controlled opposition propaganda. Norris represents the right leaning Liberty, Constitutional folks. So his job is to take them to war, which is actually the plan all along. By contrast, Ron Paul is advocating no war, and his voice is targeting the same type folks, but the ones not predisposed to fighting. They'll go along too, once the US is attacked, as it will be in "self-defense," something Ron Paul does support.

 

The globalists are infinitely more sophisticated than most think. Probably because we're constantly told how they "bumble" through these events. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and that viewpoint displays an acute naivete about just how things work.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:49 | 6801964 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Hmmm.

I didn't know that Chuck was elected to represent anybody.

I must have missed that newsday manicuring my toenails.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:54 | 6802202 CapnJackDaniel
CapnJackDaniel's picture

Yes, because elections matter don't they? and everyone listens carefully to elected officials, naturally, and no-one has ever paid any attention at all to celebrities. Back to the nail salon sweetheart

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 02:57 | 6803397 Prophet of Rage
Prophet of Rage's picture

You know, the more I read about the incident in Paris and more importantly people's reactions and comments about it the more I get flashbacks to September of 2001.

Even rational people wanted blood. They wanted to go to war. With someone. Anyone. If the MSM said that Muslims and Afghanistan and Bin Laden were the culprits, so be it. Iraq and Sadaam Hussein too? "Let's roll".

Fast forward to present day. Some crazy Muslims kill a few hundred people, we want to go to war. With someone. Anyone. The MSM said that Muslims and ISIS and Syria are the culprits? So be it. Russia and Putin are trying to get in the way? "Let's roll".

I posted in another thread that mytheory on this is that the US/NATO is trying to get a coalition and get boots on the ground for an invasion of Syria. This will allow them to "deal with ISIS". Oh....... and while they are there, they can get rid of the Assad regime once and for all.

All they need is an excuse or actual reason to send troops. Killing a few hundred in Paris with ISIS "claiming responsiblity" sounds like just the excuse. If it still doesn't end up being enough to get the people to back this, more events like that in Paris may be coming..

Nato is betting that Russia won't have the balls to interfere with getting rid of Assad once the U.S., France, turkey, Saudi arabia, and whoever else actually has a force on the ground to be reckoned with.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 06:54 | 6803632 Victor von Doom
Victor von Doom's picture

Agreed, Carpenter1.

It doesn't matter if their hired flunkies like the POTUS come across as faggy, effiminate, shaven, porch dwelling pavement apes that couldn't organise a fuck in a whorehouse whilst holding fifty one-hundred dollar bills. Simple fact is, they govern from BEHIND THE DANCING MONKEY - the rest is just kabuki.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:53 | 6801687 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

When Chuck Norris finishes with ISIS, they'll be called WASWAS.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801705 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

depending on what the definition of IS IS

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:18 | 6801802 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Chuck Norris IS.  ISIS ... is just one IS too many.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:25 | 6801843 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Is it possible to tie for thread winner?

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:37 | 6801894 BandGap
BandGap's picture

He might need some help. My suggestion-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUdx2siotUo

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:48 | 6801954 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Chuck Norris has a third fist under his beard.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:18 | 6802095 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

There IS IS two fists under that beard.  One for both of them!

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:38 | 6801899 o r c k
o r c k's picture

It ain't no war without the Duke.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:51 | 6802192 Shumbies
Shumbies's picture

"When Chuck Norris finishes with ISIS, they'll be called WASWAS."

 

At the risk of being incredibly pedantic, they will be called "WEREWERE", them being a collective an all.

Hilarious none the less :)

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:54 | 6801688 DetectiveStern
DetectiveStern's picture

I hate this planet. We were given everything we need and it ended up like it is today.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:18 | 6801801 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

I hate this planet. We were given everything we need and it ended up like it is today.

Why hate the planet?  It was spinning long before humanity and should we die out, will be spinning long after.

My optimistic streak says our species may yet find its way out of this quagmire known as the human condition.  Hopefully several generations from now we'll be exploring the stars and will look back upon this time as scornfully as we do the Dark Ages now.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:00 | 6802014 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

We'll find whole new civilization out there to conquer and enslave.  It will be glorious. 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:24 | 6802110 scintillator9
scintillator9's picture

I always thought it would be hilarious if space ships finally landed, and the beings who came out were "Native Americans", or Indians as they were called back in the day.

There would be a bit of explaining to do........

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:27 | 6802125 Sonic the porcupine
Sonic the porcupine's picture

Some tremendous philosophy came out of the perjorately so-called "dark ages". Some of the medieval scholastics were quite brilliant, Aquinas comes to mind.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:34 | 6802329 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

Sentient lifeforms on other planets are busily working on invisibility shields as we speak.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:24 | 6801839 Wow72
Wow72's picture

What you should hate is human nature, specifically GREED.  The planet is beautiful where man hasnt destroyed it yet.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:28 | 6801859 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Obedience is far worse than greed.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:54 | 6801989 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Hate away but remember that Gaia loves you.

Until she shrugs you off like a dog shakes off a summer rain.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:27 | 6801848 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

It's all Eve's fault. She had to go listen to that slimy reptile.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 00:25 | 6803108 Farqued Up
Farqued Up's picture

That wasn't Eve, that painting of Eve included a navel.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:56 | 6801697 Lost in translation
Lost in translation's picture

Student asked me today, "who supplies ISIS with weapons?"

"We do," I replied.  "The United States."

And there the conversation came to an abrupt end.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:59 | 6801711 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Hopefully you directed them to the nearest safe space where they could lie in fetal position sucking an artificial thumb that dispenses soy milk.........

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:35 | 6801889 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You've violated the safe space for those with Soy Allergy, and for men in general (elevated Estrogen are probably probably acceptable to the Women's Lib movement.)

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:56 | 6801997 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Nope.

Sorry. The penis will have to go.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:49 | 6801967 trulz4lulz
trulz4lulz's picture

Thats the funiiest god damned thing ive readed in a long time.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:08 | 6801755 hoyeru
hoyeru's picture

and you STILL got your job?? Where are you, in Russia teaching Engish?

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:29 | 6801771 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

SAFE ZONE VIOLATION!!!

Speaking the truth now constitutes a microaggression.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:24 | 6801841 cordial savage
cordial savage's picture

Fun fact: it was a wood shop class.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:33 | 6801884 Beowulf55
Beowulf55's picture

Hope you don't teach at Missouri.......

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:59 | 6802012 yomutti
yomutti's picture

If you mean that they managed to steal weapons that we provided to Iraq and some Syrian rebel groups, you are right.

 

But I think you were suggesting that we deliberately supply them, which was of course, wackoism. I hope he gets a better teacher soon.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:04 | 6802038 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Hope always ends in failure Einstien.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:16 | 6802088 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

The only whacko I see on this thread is you shit for brains.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:41 | 6802169 yomutti
yomutti's picture

Oooh, golly, I am so chastized.

I guess you can't please all the people all the time :)

 

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:01 | 6802229 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

If you're going to troll, at least try to be good at it. We all know the CIA and Mossad have directly helped to train and fund ISIS.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:12 | 6802269 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

or any of them some of the time:)

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:44 | 6802358 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

any of them, at all...ever.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 21:05 | 6802428 August
August's picture

>>>But I think you were suggesting that we deliberately supply them, which was of course, wackoism.

Well, the good ol' USA blows smoke and billion$ towards Turkey, Israel and assorted Sunni Kleptocracies, and then they supply ISIS with weapons.  So you may be right, sort of.

When the USA Security Apparatus actually tries to do the weapons-supplying directly (e.g. Benghazi) it has a way of blowing up in their faces....

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 02:26 | 6802564 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

I used to have a website link, once upon a time, where that picture of the CIA man, wearing his sunglasses, was with a bunch of these guys  in the desert sands of Libya...you know...who just happened to have a bunch of NATO Weapons.

 

And then Benghazi happened and, afterwards, that link returned Error 404-Page Not Found. I wonder why...

 

I wish that I had downloaded that picture.

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 00:50 | 6803176 Billy the Poet
Billy the Poet's picture

But I think you were suggesting that we deliberately supply them, which was of course, wackoism.

 

But the Pentagon said that ISIS is funded by "the West, the Gulf countries and Turkey."  Doesn't the presence of wackos in the Pentagon concern you?

http://www.judicialwatch.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Pg.-291-Pgs.-287...

Tue, 11/17/2015 - 07:01 | 6803641 EddieLomax
EddieLomax's picture

While the US is not shipping pristine Humvee's out to them, there is a big question where they are getting their supplies from today, a modern army consumes a vast amount of ammo, it just is not feasible that they survive on captured ammo forever.

They are getting supplied by Saudi/UAE via Turkey - that is why the Turkish border is so important, and I suspect quite a lot of the material going to "moderates" from the US is passed straight on too with just a nod and a wink, afterall as long as they are fighting Assad it is all good.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:01 | 6802227 ross81
ross81's picture

I fear you may be out of a job soon with those painful truths.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:56 | 6801698 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Text correction ...WW III started Sept. 11, 2001

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:57 | 6801701 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Fuck Walker Texas Ranger, inquiring minds want to know what Mr T. has to say........

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:20 | 6801812 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I pity the fool......

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:42 | 6801911 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Mr. T is about to find out what the derivatives of hope ending in failure is like.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801703 stonehands
stonehands's picture

Chuck Norris is so tough he eats coal for breakfast- and shits out diamonds for dinner.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:00 | 6801725 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I think you would find more brain matter than diamonds, were you to sift through his shit.....

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:21 | 6801822 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I'll leave the sifting to people with more skilled hands like Obama.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801708 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

I've always like Chuck, he is just misdirected about our political machine {the MIC too}. He means well though. Would love to have a sit down with him and try to awaken him.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:47 | 6801945 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under the pressure.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 17:58 | 6801709 orez65
orez65's picture

The Syrian war is simply to force the right of way for a natural gas pipeline from Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Israel to Europe. The Russians know this and it is why they are helping Syria.

Simply a "business competition".

A bit of an overstatement to say that it is the beginning of WWIII.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:03 | 6801740 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

All wars are about "capturing" markets. That is how England was dragged into WW1, Germany was increasingly taking markets from them. Among other things that has been gone over before. In WW2, Japan was swollowing up the entire Asian market, something had to be done. Wars are very seldom ever fought to come to the aid of suffering people.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:44 | 6801924 new game
new game's picture

capturing markets, like deal making is the art and bargaining of each party thinking they are screwing the other, with a preconcieved preception of value from each negotiating party. think treaties and trade agreements too. peg that yuan bitchez, then devalue the bitch...

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 20:21 | 6802294 1223pm
1223pm's picture

arrogance is what causes wars. Business can be dealt with deals, if you believe in, give some to take some. In some deals you gain and in some deals you don't make.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:46 | 6801940 Chuckster
Chuckster's picture

They will get ww3 going.  The excuse is irrelevant as usual.  It don't have to make sense just be plausible.

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 19:07 | 6802052 Savyindallas
Savyindallas's picture

That's a small part of it. Lot's of more significant reasons  -like using destruction and control of Syria to get to iran and Hezbollah and shatter the Shia corridor  - allow Israel to Establish Greater Israel and permanently annex the Golan Heights  --- weaken Russia by taking out an ally -- generally create as Michel Ledeen says  "Creative Destruction" to keep any and all potential enemies of israel and the NWO from posing a threat --working well wity Libya, Afgahnistan, Yemen, Iraq and others  - -  also  -detroying the last few countries that do not have a central bank  -or a controlled Central bank. 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:02 | 6801710 City_Of_Champyinz
City_Of_Champyinz's picture

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.

 

Mon, 11/16/2015 - 18:29 | 6801863 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Tough audience as this crowd here is not too happy about being bullshitted about what happened, or did not happen as the media reports, in Paris.

 

War is not the answer.  Perhaps if the USA would stop supporting ISIS and stop interfering with other nation's internal affairs then this nightmare might stop.

 

But do not count on that. The Bottom Line of Lockheed Martin and the Central Bankers is far more important than the lives of the brown skinned people who worship their satanic god.

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