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Robbery In Progress At Chase Branch On 6th Avenue In Downtown Manhattan

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It was 11 months ago when brazen thieves penetrated deep within the "safe" confines of Manhattan, and tried to rob a Chase Manhattan branch on 72nd and Columbus in the Upper West Side. It was unclear if the robbers were successful then, or if the bank even had any cash.

Moments ago, another bunch of just as brazen robbers has attempted to rob another Chase branch, this time on 6th Avenue and 18th street. According to the NY Scanner, the NYPD just called in a Level 1 mobilization to 611 6th Avenue, where thieves have struck yet again.

The branch in question is this one.

Perhaps the robers fled once they learned that under the coming NIRP regime, banks will not only not carry cash any more, but all paper banknotes will soon be made illegal.

 

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Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:36 | 6833019 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

Tyler...that's uptown lol

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:38 | 6833033 Looney
Looney's picture

Someone is robbing THEM, for a change! ;-)

ATTABOYS!!!

Looney

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:39 | 6833046 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Robbing an insolvent bank....

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:43 | 6833082 OrangeJews
OrangeJews's picture

So he stole paper?  Might as well hit up an Office Depot.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:45 | 6833096 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

DiBlazio ordered the Big Apple's police to stand  back and "lets da peeples express demselves."

 

So be it!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:46 | 6833108 knukles
knukles's picture

He's another asshole.
Where in the world are these people hatched?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:50 | 6833129 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Where's chief Wiggum and the rubber gun squad when you need them?

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:07 | 6833231 barndoor
barndoor's picture

The post neglects to mention that the robbery in question has been in progress since the repeal of Glass-Steagall in 1999.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:17 | 6833354 Silky Johnson
Silky Johnson's picture

LOL the silly motherfuckers never fully thought out how to steal digital 1s and 0s, because there sure as hell is not more than $500 in bills in that shithole.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:35 | 6833490 Fascist Puppy
Fascist Puppy's picture

"I hope you're not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag, cause I can swipe it later from the evidence locker." 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:46 | 6833104 knukles
knukles's picture

Probably about 15 or so years ago in Midtown robbers held up about 6 branches all withing a half-hour or so.  Caused mass confusion.  And I think they got away!
Say, mayhaps the Terrorists motivations to make us Terrorized, is really working!  Who are those masked terrorists?

                             Papers!  Your papers!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:04 | 6833229 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Yeah, i remember that. De Niro got shot running from Al Pacino at the approach end of a runway shortly after the heist.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:46 | 6833106 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I'm assuming everyone knows what "perp m/b" means.

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:49 | 6833121 knukles
knukles's picture

Lemme guess.  Male/Black. 
Oh fuck.  Racist police......  Every crime has a Black Male Perp!
#Blackmaleperpsmatter

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:53 | 6834073 Dig Deeper1
Dig Deeper1's picture

Muslim Boy?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:47 | 6833114 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Perp fled the scene? You actually can find him at 270 Park Ave. Look for the office marked Jamie Dimon, CEO.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:43 | 6833088 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

in soviet ussa, bank robs you

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:37 | 6833021 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Criminals stealing from Banksters... who are the REAL victims?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:57 | 6833187 Dr. Venkman
Dr. Venkman's picture

what is in pari delicto in ebonics?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:04 | 6833234 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

I am, for making me read this non-story... #bankersLivesDontMatter

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:37 | 6833025 Francis Marx
Francis Marx's picture

What? The IRS showed up?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:37 | 6833027 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

How about robbing the HQ of the Vampire Squid or the Morgue.  That's where the money is.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:53 | 6833161 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

How about rendering them to dust and ashes instead?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:37 | 6833030 unrulian
unrulian's picture

You still get cash at banks?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:00 | 6833207 DetectiveStern
DetectiveStern's picture

There's a reason no one robs banks anymore. It's not worth the hassle to steal a few counters daily float.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:38 | 6833513 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

there was an attempted robbery in sweden recently that was unsuccessful for lack of cash. 

http://www.thelocal.se/20130422/47484

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:38 | 6833035 Cautiously Pess...
Cautiously Pessimistic's picture

Heck... there has been a 'bank robbery' going on since December 23rd, 1913.   Same as it ever was....

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:38 | 6833036 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Oldskool: Bank robber enters bank, says "hands up - gimme all your money."

Newskool: Robber bank enters people, says "hands up - gimme all your money."

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:38 | 6833039 E.F. Mutton
E.F. Mutton's picture

I thought that since DeBlasio took office, everyone just held hands and sang "Kumbaya" all day.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:39 | 6833044 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

and so some poor teller is terrorized while dimon lights another cigar

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:02 | 6833220 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

...he laughed maniacally while lighting his cigar with a 100 bill...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:41 | 6833065 All Out Of Bubblegum
All Out Of Bubblegum's picture

It's good to see that optimism is still thriving with some of the citizenry.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:41 | 6833068 surf0766
surf0766's picture

robberies is a civil right.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:46 | 6833105 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

#robberlivesmatter

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:03 | 6833225 DetectiveStern
DetectiveStern's picture

Nah, some cunt recently made off with the paving slabs in my front garden while I slept. That guy can fuck off. The bits of stone were worth £70-90 a piece and he's made off with 12 of the things.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:42 | 6833069 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Jon Corzine seen fleeing the scene.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:44 | 6833092 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

No. Chase robbed MFG. Corzine was just checking to make sure its all still there.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:19 | 6833851 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

More like Corzine was seen stopping for a hotdog before slowly walking over to get in a Uber car.

 

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:41 | 6833071 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Were the suspects brown? 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:47 | 6833111 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"perp m/b".  Yes, that means what you think it means.

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:59 | 6833195 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Uhhh, that the perp is a 'motherfucking banker'?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:53 | 6833158 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

No

Brown suspects attack the innocent easy prey, like a grandmother on the street fro behind. NOT a bank and the threat of actually having to use force and confront po po. That takes some deal of thought.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:42 | 6833078 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Chase still has money ?

Optimists.

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:42 | 6833081 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

"He said to pull the building"

I would start running if I ever heard that.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:44 | 6833091 Keynesians say ...
Keynesians say the darndest things's picture

Lucky Larry in an undisclosed location heard whispering "Pull it!"

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:43 | 6833084 Cautiously Pess...
Cautiously Pessimistic's picture

#BankRobbersLivesMatter

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:43 | 6833089 nnnnnn
nnnnnn's picture

 

 

look at this ugly nigger woman dressed in pink       

why are black people so tasteless, stupid and ugly?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:45 | 6833093 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Think Michelle...Hope this helps.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:50 | 6833133 knukles
knukles's picture

On second thought, i just cannot pull the trigger.  I promised not to, in retrospect.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:43 | 6833982 nnnnnn
nnnnnn's picture

 

 

wow  11 dv   all i sad are facts proven by reality in the picture above

you may open live leak and see what black people think of you

guys  if you are scared to call a nigger "nigger" because you dont want consider yourself as racist you lost two things:

a) you balls

b) your brain

 

(as a white person you are considered as racist anyway, if you like black people or not)

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:44 | 6833090 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

DIDN'T ANYONE READ THE SIGN!  gun free zone!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:58 | 6833191 813kml
813kml's picture

FREE GUNS?!?!?!

Black Friday comes earlier every year...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:45 | 6833099 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

There is more money in Jamie Dimons daughters purse. Then is in the Chase branch safe.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:45 | 6833102 rejected
rejected's picture

Nice clean city, eh?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:50 | 6833113 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

NYC, like most big and a few mid-size American cities, have become Cesspools, sort of like Septic Tanks on a large scale.

 

2 charged in pastor's wife killing say little in court

 

http://news.yahoo.com/2-charged-pastors-wife-killing-little-court-154327...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:54 | 6833165 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Not sure which is the biggest pile of Liberal excrement L.A or New York City, its a close running tie that's for sure.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:21 | 6833388 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

Barry is waiting for the robbery to end so he can invite the thugs over to the wh for a beer.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:52 | 6834063 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

And dont forget the rambunctious oral sex...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:47 | 6833112 besnook
besnook's picture

you know, there is a pretty good success rate with bank robberies but burglars have it best.

 

hope we get a shoot out like the la bofa branch.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:49 | 6833120 BellevueTrader
BellevueTrader's picture

#bankerslivesdontmatter

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:53 | 6833159 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

JUMP you cunt-like fuckers...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:49 | 6833122 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

'Level #1 mobilization'...?

 

So does that mean only (1) MRAP and a .338 Lapua on a turret, or something else...?

 

 

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:56 | 6833184 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Probably means shoot everyone except the suspect going by the NYPDs past history.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:52 | 6833145 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Isn't it cute that JP Morgan still has bank branches? I guess it's nostalgia or maybe just part of the deal to stay out of jail. Either way, the branches must provide about 1000th of 1% of the ill gotten gains each quarter.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:52 | 6833149 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

I cant decide whether NYC is the armpit or the asshole of the East Coast... I am kinda leaning towards asshole...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:52 | 6833154 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The best way to rob a bank is the own one.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:54 | 6833163 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

Is this the Rapture, or just a terrible tuesday?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 13:55 | 6833170 thecondor
thecondor's picture

Why did Mr Diamond go through all this just to make a withdrawal? Couldn't he just as his sexratary to get it for him?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:00 | 6833698 JamaicaJim
JamaicaJim's picture

It's DIMON. And drop the "Mr." shit....it's Asshole to you

 

Don't insult the real rocks.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:00 | 6833201 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

I get robbed every time when I go to my bank, so what's the news?

Wed, 11/25/2015 - 09:46 | 6833246 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

The banking business is robbery, what else to they expect to be going on there?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:07 | 6833253 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Who cares?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:07 | 6833254 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

If the robber is caught I hope his defense team presents the "tempest in a teapot" defense.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:25 | 6833413 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Truly, with ZIRP, it's a victimless crime.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:15 | 6833319 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Funny. First thought: Dirty Harry scene

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:16 | 6833336 HoserF16
HoserF16's picture

Cool! How much Rothschild-Loot did they get???

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:16 | 6833341 HoserF16
HoserF16's picture

Who's the Hottie in pink???

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:45 | 6834018 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Chewwy out doing some pre-black friday shopping...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:16 | 6833343 Able Ape
Able Ape's picture

Send the cops to 33 Liberty St., the FED's been stealing from Americans for 102 years...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:17 | 6833348 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Rob with a gun, go to jail.

 

Rob with a computer or a stroke of the pen, go to the Hamptons.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:28 | 6833429 More Ammo
More Ammo's picture

Some news that doesn't rise above the BS.

Rocket lands under it's own power.  Go Texas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pillaOxGCo

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:17 | 6833839 Baa baa
Baa baa's picture

Talk about comin' in hot!!!! Good to seem something like that out of a private program.

Thanx

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:37 | 6833499 Sparehead
Sparehead's picture

Ahhh phew, just good honest robbers. I thought this might be a trial ballon for US NIRP.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:45 | 6833573 Allen_H
Allen_H's picture

Ali G: So you the D.E.A. ?

D.E.A. Agent: Yes

Ali G: What does D.E.A. stand for ?

D.E.A. Agent: Drugs, Explosives and Arms.

Ali G: So....What else do you sell !?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:17 | 6833840 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

D.E.A. Humans

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:25 | 6833887 Allen_H
Allen_H's picture

I meant A.T.F. = Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.

Been a long time since I seen it, remembered it wrong.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:55 | 6833668 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

Corporate Criminal Meme: If we could only ban cash this type of terrorist act could be stopped forever and never scare the sheep again.

Isn't is fortunate NYPD will rapidly mobilize to save corporate cash. Yet, when they watch someone being almost murdered right in front of them they somehow have no lawful duty to protect.

This video should tell you all something about your value compared to the duty of the police to protect and serve criminal enterprises and their fraudulent schemes. Your value is lower than a fraudulent fiat Federal Reserve debt instrument that has no value.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbLpDQ-7BwY

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 14:58 | 6833684 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

This is odd.  I thought "In Soviet Amerika, banks rob YOU" not the other way around...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:12 | 6833800 slammin_dude
slammin_dude's picture

Are criminals that DUMB these days? Robbing a bank is useless, they have next to zero cash on hand, and it's all fucking tracked.....or do criminals not know an internet exists where they can look up info?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:16 | 6833828 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

Thought you had to own a bank to steal from it with, no penalty just profit.. .. ...

 

Must be idiots ther is no money in branch banks.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:18 | 6833847 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

Best way to steal from a bank is to own it...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:22 | 6833869 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

That is why Jamie has more money than you do!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:28 | 6833902 Gregory Poonsores
Gregory Poonsores's picture

Anyone ever pick up trash in NYC?

What a bunch of dirty pigs.

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:40 | 6833981 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Peak garbage...

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:37 | 6833963 Able Ape
Able Ape's picture

Nice rocket launch and landing - this is the first time in too many years I can honestly say I'm proud to be an American....

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 15:49 | 6834045 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Hey everybody... today is national 'double tap an HFT trader day'. Lock and load and go celebrate!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 16:10 | 6834153 Uranium Mountain
Uranium Mountain's picture

All the real robbers know cash money is at movie theaters and Pizza Hut's, not banks!  Silly thieves...  of you really want to steal money, become an Algo Banker!

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 16:25 | 6834244 Saddam Miser
Saddam Miser's picture

If you look at 1,5,10, and 20 dollar bills, and compare them with the same value notes from Monopoly, you'll notice they have similar color hues. Coincidence?

Tue, 11/24/2015 - 16:46 | 6834396 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

Yes>  Monopoly money.  The new cash for when they ban cash.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!