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Here Is "Gate" #2: $1.3 Billion Hedge Fund Founded By Ex-Bear Stearns Traders, Just Suspended Redemptions

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday, in the aftermath of the shocking news that the Third Avenue Focused Credit Fund was liquidating and had gated investors due to its "illiquid" portfolio, we had one simple prediction:

"What this means is that now that the dreaded "gates" are back, investors in all other junk bond-focused hedge funds, fearing they too will be gated, will rush to pull what funds they can and submit redemption requests, in the process potentially unleashing a liquidity - and liquidation - scramble within the hedge fund community, which will first impact bonds and then, if the liquidity demands continue, equities as well."

We had to wait just over 24 hours to be proven correct, because moments ago Dow Jones reported that the $1.3 billion Manhattan-based Stone Lion Capital, a distress-focused hedge fund, has just suspended redemptions after "substantial requests."

The WSJ adds:

It is the latest example of the sudden crunch facing traders across Wall Street looking to sell beaten-down positions.

 

Stone Lion manages around $1.3 billion and specializes in distressed debt and other risky investments that have plunged in value lately.

 

It received “substantial redemption requests” in its oldest hedge fund, the $400 million Stone Lion Portfolio LP, precipitating the decision, the firm said.

At least the had a pretty logo:


 

The management team via CapIQ:

 

And here is the punchline:

  • Alan Jay Mintz, CPA, a co-founder of Stone Lion Capital was Co-Head of the Distressed Debt and High Yield trading group at Bear Stearns
  • Gregory Augustine Hanley, a co-founder of Stone Lion Capital was Co-Head of the Distressed Debt and High Yield trading group at Bear Stearns

One really couldn't make this up.

 

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Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:01 | 6912091 Tinky
Tinky's picture

I'll say it again: negative feedback loops are a bitch.

Buckle up.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:08 | 6912131 Baby Bladeface
Baby Bladeface's picture

Hedging funds are now become like disengruntled host radio program: "No, do not take requests!"

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:13 | 6912165 knukles
knukles's picture

Dammit!  I was hoping to see one of my old buds listed on the personnel roster.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:25 | 6912208 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

How do I hedge my investment in this type of Hedge-Fund

I just want to have a nice safe conservative portfolio

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:35 | 6912244 Occident Mortal
Occident Mortal's picture

Could these assholes at least have waited until AFTER the fed picked up the smoking gun?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:03 | 6912381 Amish FinEng
Amish FinEng's picture

NEW YORK, June 10, 2008 /PRNewswire/ -- Tudor Investment Corporation today announced that Gregory Hanley and Alan Mintz will join Tudor to establish a new investment management business focused on credit-related strategies. Hanley and Mintz join Tudor from Bear, Stearns & Co., where they served as Senior Managing Directors and co-heads of the Distressed Debt Group and Mr. Hanley served as co-head of the High Yield Trading Group.
Also joining as senior members of the new credit-related team will be Mitchell Sussman, Eric Friel and Howard Norowitz.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:13 | 6912424 two hoots
two hoots's picture

 

Coming to a Money Market Fund near you. Along with “break the buck” then NIRP.

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:55 | 6912617 manofthenorth
manofthenorth's picture

Great time to put some Silver in your portfolio.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 23:38 | 6913317 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

And represented by the law offices of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 02:57 | 6913730 markmotive
Fri, 12/11/2015 - 21:14 | 6912894 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Vaporized".

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:48 | 6914205 pilager
pilager's picture

WAIT A MINUTE!

What do you mean "coming to a money market near you"

Seriously question gentlemen, how exactly does this trickle into a general money market. Say a 401k or Ira, T Rowe with no brick and Mortor....

Poof! Wheres the money market?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:29 | 6912504 Uchtdorf
Uchtdorf's picture

Good catch. So it's not their first rodeo.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:43 | 6912798 Amish FinEng
Amish FinEng's picture

The Amish don't miss nufin!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:41 | 6912281 Surveyor4Pres
Surveyor4Pres's picture

Mattress?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:04 | 6912386 Handful of Dust
Handful of Dust's picture

NB: News of fund problems and Wall Street bankruptcies will not be read on HuffPo or heard on NPR.

 

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:08 | 6912133 gregga777
gregga777's picture

It's positive feedback that is a bitch. A process loop where small perturbations result in ever greater responses is an example of Positive Feedback.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:37 | 6912253 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Absolutely correct; I transposed.

Thanks.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 15:18 | 6915026 delete entry
delete entry's picture

negative feed back loop
a self balancing system that relies on feed back to balance it's self is getting noise instead of needed feedback, noise leads to even more noise and less signal

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:54 | 6912341 saldulilem
saldulilem's picture

Props, positive feedback loop with negative impulse input --> unbounded output :)

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:14 | 6912172 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Funny they never seem to see the end coming as it looms so large?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:49 | 6912313 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

Escalator up, elevator down.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:44 | 6912568 tdogg
tdogg's picture

Stone Lion!(?) !

Isn't that a ganja strain??

For you bud enthusiast - think of Stone Lion for your next bag of kush.  Smoking that Stone Lion prospectus - that sh@#t be chronic.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 01:38 | 6913603 Silver Sativa
Silver Sativa's picture

For *cough cough* research purposes only *cough cough cough*

https://www.leafly.com/

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:23 | 6914144 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

No, you're thinking of Pineapple Express Capital Partners whom specialize in buying distressed debt

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:20 | 6912191 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Who shouted fire?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:57 | 6912356 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

That's pretty much what I was thinking too.   A relatively small fund, but, still probably smart connected types.  That the fund is getting "substantial redemption requests", screams to me that somebody got a heads-up to bolt for the exits.  Next week could get really interesting.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:41 | 6912556 Retired Guy
Retired Guy's picture

Retired guy goes into broker, asks for safe interest income investment and comes out with bond fund papers. Happens all the time. Nobody explains small exit problem with bonds. Later, like now, grandpa sees the fund's share price is way down. He calls the broker to sell. A crime has been committed in slow motion. No banksters go to jail. Very sad. Grandpa stops buying steak, investigates dog food as alternative.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:28 | 6913115 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

1) I hope you aren't referring to yourself when it comes to dietary matters.

2) Why oh why do people think it's a good idea to trust their wallet to some smarmy 20-something that they just met?

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 05:58 | 6913870 Lore
Lore's picture

I'd be cautious around the 60- and 70-somethings, as they've had time to fine-tune their techniques and prepare strategies for offloading blame onto subordinates who don't keep paper trails.

"Aaaand.. It's gone."

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:22 | 6912200 hongdo
hongdo's picture

I think you mean positive feedback loop which leads to oscilation and chaotic states. 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:37 | 6912255 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Correct; I transposed.

Thanks.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:26 | 6912216 THE COIN
THE COIN's picture

When you name your HedgeFund after a Library Doorstop your Trading acumen is already brought into question.

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:52 | 6912331 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I am the Keymaster.  Are you the Gatekeeper?

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 00:08 | 6913407 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

It's not that we don't like you, it's that starting your post with an italic prevents an up/downvote.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 12:58 | 6914596 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I did not know that.  Thanks.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:15 | 6912433 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

"Now yous can't leave'" - Sonny LoSpecchio

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:47 | 6912807 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Announced after the close on a Friday, so they are hoping it gets buried by Monday morning. Let's see if something else blows up this weekend. There have to be others out there that took a beating this week.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 00:18 | 6913434 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I know, when Monday comes around look out it will be bad really bad.  

 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:45 | 6914197 explosivo
explosivo's picture

I think you mean, positive feedback loops. Negative feedback loops are stabilizing. 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:52 | 6914947 Not My Real Name
Not My Real Name's picture

Positive feedback is worse. And what we'll soon be seeing is a classic example of it in the form of a market panic.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:02 | 6912100 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

It's kind of late on a Friday for something like that.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:04 | 6912113 Junerberno
Junerberno's picture

<wipes keyboard>

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:06 | 6912125 blue51
blue51's picture

^^^ haha! Ya, a Mortimer moment. Turn them back on!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:03 | 6912105 gregga777
gregga777's picture

The Federal Reserve's sole role is enriching Wall Street Banking Gangsters by stealing from the American People while the political parasites look the other way—because they are bribed to do so—and pretend not to notice.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:38 | 6912258 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

...until it's not

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:38 | 6912259 Surveyor4Pres
Surveyor4Pres's picture

Perfect analysis, kudos.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:04 | 6912107 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Jump you fuckers!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:04 | 6912109 Junerberno
Junerberno's picture

Icahn looks smart. Again.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:08 | 6912110 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

WHY O' WHY HAVE I ONLY ACCUMULATED GOLD AND SILVER OUTSIDE OF THE FRAUDULENT FINANCIAL AND DEBT BASED CURRENCY SYSTEM????

PLEASE TELL ME - WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:10 | 6912144 Bernanke'sDaddy
Bernanke&#039;sDaddy's picture

Because you hate America???

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:15 | 6912177 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"Because you hate what Ameridumb has become???"

there u go...if ur gonna represent - represent proper like...

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:14 | 6912426 Seal
Seal's picture

Ehhhhh, because you hate us for our freedom?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:49 | 6912818 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

'Cause you live next to Paul Krugman ?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:06 | 6912122 Bernanke'sDaddy
Bernanke&#039;sDaddy's picture

I just called them to wish them a good weekend.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:11 | 6912129 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

Not exactly heavyweights in the industry. They suspended in a $400MM fund. They manage $1.3B. 400MM is like peasant money. Chances are they have like two guys running that whole fund. 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:14 | 6912170 Bernanke'sDaddy
Bernanke&#039;sDaddy's picture

Realize that Wall Street nearly imploded when LTCM lost "only" a couple billion bernanke bux also.

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:17 | 6912187 JRobby
JRobby's picture

There has been a lot of asset inflation since LTCM.

If you noticed, it's accelerating

Until now................................

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:32 | 6912209 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

LTCM borrowed something like a 100B and had a trillion dollars of derivative exposure. Nobody lends like that anymore. 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:05 | 6912388 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

LTCM also shorted tons of gold, then Soviet bonds collapsed.  Nothing like having Nobel Prize winners on your staff.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:20 | 6912195 scintillator9
scintillator9's picture

One may look at this situation differently when it's one's turn to have one's redemption "privilege" suspended.

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:38 | 6912268 bookofenoch
bookofenoch's picture

One might pick up a pitchfork

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:57 | 6912359 Montani Semper ...
Montani Semper Liberi's picture

A riot is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:18 | 6912146 shantyman
shantyman's picture

Easy Rhino this is Varible, the target is lit..... Coming Down.... Circular error of probability zero, high order of detonation....HAVE A NICE DAY

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:47 | 6912307 therover
therover's picture

Great movie.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:10 | 6912150 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

those assholes from the "LET US LOSE YOUR MONEY FAST" segment on CNBS r freaking the fuck out...

hilarious...............

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:20 | 6912194 JRobby
JRobby's picture

They will be euhanized on the New Year's Eve broadcast by clowns dressed in purple rags. CNBC will cease broadcasting to it's 127 loyal viewers.

The end of an era

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:55 | 6912350 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

I would be willing to go to Times Sq to see that!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:25 | 6912215 Bernoulli
Bernoulli's picture

Watching them, too.

Santelli is the only voice of reason. All the others are just a disgrace.

I just can't wait to see what they say when this sucker goes down.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:18 | 6912188 bamawatson
bamawatson's picture

Stoned Lie'n

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:27 | 6912220 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Aaaaaaanndddd....IT'S GONE!!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:40 | 6912275 bookofenoch
bookofenoch's picture

Exactly what I was thinking...

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:24 | 6912475 Pareto
Pareto's picture

Escalator up - elevator down.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:30 | 6912227 loub215
loub215's picture

There is never just one cockroach... Or 2, or 20... You get the picture.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:33 | 6912235 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Is dis du big un maw?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:38 | 6912260 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

Another one bites the dust......another one......

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:38 | 6912264 joego1
joego1's picture

It's like extracting money from a stone Lion.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:40 | 6912273 Surveyor4Pres
Surveyor4Pres's picture

How does this compare to that moment in the movie Margin Call,

when that guy asks "What time is it?", and after hearing the time, then says:

"Fuck Me."

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:42 | 6912287 bookofenoch
bookofenoch's picture

Sum Ting Wi Lee Wong

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:58 | 6912630 kenny500c
kenny500c's picture

Wei Tu Lo

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:43 | 6912293 bookofenoch
bookofenoch's picture

I kinda started to wonder if we'll make it to Christmas before impact

It's a 3 day bank holiday

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:47 | 6912308 CHoward
CHoward's picture

I can't explain the feeling I have but I really want to see some of these fuckers get their asses so badly fucked they're as wide as the Brooklyn Bridge is long.  Fuck em! 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:52 | 6912326 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

usa equities will eventually be gated too ala china.

 

 

The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the dead keep it. [/King of the Dead, Lord of the Rings]

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:53 | 6912337 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

BTFD'rs better get some ZZZZquil for sunday night

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:54 | 6912342 Mr. Guts
Mr. Guts's picture

Alan Mintz? I don't see Jack Campbell and Peter Lassiter on that list.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 18:56 | 6912353 FX223
FX223's picture

Quick, do it now!!!!  Use credit cards and direct pay to load up on the three Bs. Some more PMs would be a good idea to...let's just don't all go to the bank and withdraw cash at the same timber they'll know we're on to them.

 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:24 | 6914679 OregonGrown
OregonGrown's picture

Bitches, Bullion and bullets?

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 19:57 | 6915837 FX223
FX223's picture

1 of 3 same as the three Bs I was talking about but I thought about your three and I have updated my list.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:00 | 6912369 SharkBit
SharkBit's picture

Investors are so stupid.  Biggest ponzy scheme in the history of finance and who could have seen it coming?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:01 | 6912374 BigRedRider
BigRedRider's picture

I went to grammar school with Greg Hanley.  He pissed on my leg in the playground.  I told him I would get revenge.  However we parted ways and I always held a grudge.  Now I feel vindicated.

 

OH HAPPY DAY...WHAT A FUCKING HAPPY DAY!!!

You're broke now Greggie boy.  Stick that in your sneaker, fucker...HA HA HA HA HA

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:09 | 6912410 kelley805
kelley805's picture

J.P. Morgan analysts wrote that the three best leading indicators for recession have been credit spreads, the shape of the yield curve and profit margins.

Here are some signs of a coming recession.

1. Investors in high-yield bonds are expecting to see their first negative return since the start of the credit crisis in 2008.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/deteriorating-junk-bonds-flash-warning-signs-for-stocks-2015-12-07?dist=afterbell

2. Factory orders continue to drop

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-02/us-factory-orders-flash-recession-warning-drop-yoy-10th-month-row

3. Default risk spikes

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-02/us-financials-default-risk-spikes-2-year-high

4.  M&A set record

http://michaelekelley.com/2015/05/29/mergers-and-acquisitions-set-record/  

5. Iron ore prices tumble

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/iron-ore-prices-keep-crashing-adding-to-global-growth-fears-2015-11-30

6. Baltic dry shipping index tumbles

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/shipping-index-falls-to-all-time-low-stoking-fears-about-global-growth-2015-11-19

 

Here is how to prepare.

http://michaelekelley.com/2014/10/16/8-things-to-do-when-recession-happens/

 

Here is how to get your mind off this stuff.

http://michaelekelley.com/category/humor/

 

Good luck!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:40 | 6912550 taketheredpill
taketheredpill's picture

Pre-2008 Curve leads economy.

Post-2008 Economy leads curve. Down.

 

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:26 | 6912488 Canadian Made
Canadian Made's picture

Well, Cramer says , fuck , I have CNBC on?, ok, Im drunk wayyyy to early, even for friday nite

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:31 | 6912510 bullocks
bullocks's picture

reminds me of the stratton oakmont logo... so trustworthy!

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:33 | 6912515 ZombieHuntclub
ZombieHuntclub's picture

 See? That was nothing. But that's how it always begins. Very small. 

Egg Shen - Big Trouble in Little China 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 19:52 | 6912608 kenny500c
kenny500c's picture

Soon we will find out that the managers of SL loaded up the fund with securities that were shorted by a crony.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:00 | 6912635 Stormtrooper
Stormtrooper's picture

Have no fear.  Santa Claus rally on the way (thank you PPT!).

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:09 | 6912660 surf@jm
surf@jm's picture

You mean Cramer lied to me about buy and hold?......Wait till those market circuit breakers kick in and force you to catch that falling knife......

Guess I`ll be watching the crook who stole my money on an episode of American Greed......

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:43 | 6913168 redd_green
redd_green's picture

Nahh, but he won't do it.

"Do what I say!  'Cause I ain't gonna buy and hold."

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:09 | 6912674 goosee
goosee's picture

Shouldn't they be in prison?

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 20:47 | 6912809 A Man of Wealth...
A Man of Wealth and Taste's picture

Distressed bond investors in distress.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 21:25 | 6912920 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Anyway to follow how these folks are doing?

Don’t Give Your Money to Clinton Son-in-Law Marc Mezvinsky

The Wall Street Journal reports that Mezvinsky’s boutique hedge fund, Eaglevale Partners LP, reported significant losses last year, and has struggled to turn a profit for investors since its inception in 2012.

[...]

Prominent investors include Lloyd Blankfein, chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, where Mezvinsky used to work. Blankfein has contributed generously to Democrats over the years, and has hosted fundraisers for Hillary Clinton.

Marc Lasry, the billionaire hedge fund manager who co-owns the Milwaukee Bucks, is also an investor. Lasry, who used to employ Chelsea Clinton at his $13.3 billion hedge fund, Avenue Capital Group, is a longtime Democratic donor and figures to be one of Hillary Clinton’s top fundraisers in 2016. Lasry had been President Obama’s choice to serve as U.S. ambassador to France, but was forced to withdraw his name over his ties to an alleged poker ring run by the Russian mob.

http://freebeacon.com/blog/dont-give-your-money-to-clinton-son-in-law-ma...

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 23:56 | 6913368 uhland62
uhland62's picture

Very inbred. Next? Crackers for the Frackers.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 21:36 | 6912956 TEOTWAIKI
TEOTWAIKI's picture

One year ago (minus 5 days) Stone Lion saw a great opportunity to invest in PR...

Junque is Junque, no matter how you spill it.

http://www.caribbeanbusiness.pr/prnt_ed/hedge-fund-raises-$500-million-to-invest-in-puerto-rico-10736.html

 

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:18 | 6913080 hw711
hw711's picture

Buy SJB(proShares Short High Yield) before the rest of the flood gates open.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:20 | 6913081 hw711
hw711's picture

<dup comment>

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:30 | 6913123 tarabel
tarabel's picture

 

 

This algo stuff is getting out of hand. This hedge fund has a Borg on salary.

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:32 | 6913134 redd_green
redd_green's picture

Excellent! 

"We used to work at Bear Stearns, you can trust us with your money..."

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 09:17 | 6914051 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

We have the Jim Cramer seal of approval

Fri, 12/11/2015 - 22:44 | 6913174 redd_green
redd_green's picture

So, when this whole 1.3 billion fund takes a steaming dump that it is brewing up, they're all going to .... start another hedge fund, no?   Who gives these crooks their money?

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 02:32 | 6913703 Global Douche
Global Douche's picture

That's simple! The muppets will again entrust crook Corzine (didn't I hear he has another fund to lead?) Bottom Line: When will the Sheeple ever ever learn??

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 00:01 | 6913379 uhland62
uhland62's picture

You nasty little man writing this. It's nearly Christmas and we don't need THESE news. In fact, ain't news at all, we know what to expect of these. Must be something in the water or air there. The only thing we wonder about is how long the 1% can sustain the losses, and then where would we be. We're waiting for the trickle!!!

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 01:54 | 6913639 northern vigor
northern vigor's picture

Abandon  hope, all ye who entered here.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 03:50 | 6913770 Kprime
Kprime's picture

Sitting in the morning sun
I'll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
And I watch 'em roll away again

Sitting on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay
Wasting time

 

Thank you Otis

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:38 | 6914175 Spectre
Spectre's picture

LOL, Ships won't even be rolling in with the bulk freight rates collapsing.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 11:47 | 6914078 zeroaccountability
zeroaccountability's picture

Monday, December 14, 2015

Associated Press News Bulletin

People were waking up to get ready for work, turning on their TV sets, and watching in horror as world markets were in meltdown mode.

A literal Sea Of Red was witnessed on screens in all 57 states as images of trading floors, screaming brokers and bond funds all were wringing their hands and staring in disbelief at the carnage in stocks, bonds, 401ks, pensions and hedge funds.

Cigarette smoke clouded the darkened rooms, computer screens illuminating the men who were seen speaking in hushed tones while others jumped to their deaths after witnessing everything they owned disintegrate into a pile of worthless sand.

AP Reporter Pajama Boy

(Pajama boy wrote for HUFFPO and WAPO and edited 'BETA' magazine)

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:29 | 6914157 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

With a nail gun you can checkout anytime you like but can never leave.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 10:51 | 6914217 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Mother Hen to chicks, Mother Hen to chicks - weapons are free. I repeat, weapons are free. Splash some banksters and hedge scum managers. Last one back on the deck buys the first round.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 11:45 | 6914368 zeroaccountability
zeroaccountability's picture

The small red fox jumped over the chicken mosque.

Repeat:  The Eagle has landed.  Falcon, this is Snowman Go Go Go

Green light, red light, red light, yellow light, red light, green light

 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 12:42 | 6914536 Seal
Seal's picture

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!