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Lucky Lucky Girl

Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture




 

From Slope of Hope: Over the past 15 years, Yahoo (YHOO) has lost nearly 70% of its peak value (and this is taking into account its utterly and completely lucky gains from Alibaba). During those fifteen years - - and let's remember, on the day of Yahoo's price peak, Mark Zuckerberg was a 15 year-old high school student - - Yahoo has struggled mightily to recapture its lost glory, only to fail again and again, in spite of a series of blonde female CEOs whose principal difference appears to be whether they use profanities in public or not.

As a person who has been online since 1981 (literally), I have a strong sense as to what's good and what isn't so good, and I've always thought Yahoo sucked out loud. It's astonishing to me that they are ever still around. And, in a way, they are not, because their enterprise value was recently calculated as negative thirteen billion dollars.

Now the fact that Marissa Mayer has made her vast fortune by being really, really lucky (first, as an early Google employee, with a key qualification being outlined in this link, and later, as a PR stunt, as the pretty new face of Yahoo) is something that's been covered repeatedly in the hallowed halls of Slope.  However, I saw something earlier this week that just made me roll my eyes again, as the world proved once again how Mayer gets a "pass" on the Yahoo debacle by being consistently fertile (and yes, these are seriously the news headlines for the company):

1211-mayer

I have no problem with people getting fantastically rich by creating value. The tens of billions that Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Paige, Sergey Brin, and Jeff Bezos have made - - God bless 'em! But Yahoo stumbled onto a good investment with Alibaba (long before Mayer showed up), and because the world happened to go crazy about Chinese internet stocks at just the right time, it saved Yahoo from bankruptcy. And even with this huge advantage, here's the kind of performance Yahoo has seen lately, led by everyone's favorite narcissist:

1211-yhoo

I think the reason she gets a free pass is because people are afraid of appearing sexist. I dismiss this notion based on two important facts: first, that any CEO who had stumbled so badly (and become so rich doing so) deserves scorn, whether they are male, female, or Caitlyn Jenner. And second, if anyone on this planet could be accused of using Marissa Mayer's sexuality with respect to her career, I think one need look no farther than the woman herself:

 

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Sun, 12/13/2015 - 11:41 | 6917312 OregonGrown
OregonGrown's picture

"Male, Female or Catelyn jenner"

NOW THAT was funny.... Thak you for the morning chuckle!

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 10:42 | 6917174 gmak
gmak's picture

Lucky or not, that has always been the way of the world.  For every person who gets ahead, there are 9 others who think it should have been them. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.  If you want to look for a free pass, look no further than the community organizer who became President and then proceeded to destroy the Constitution with not a peep from the press.

 

On the other hand, that is one stellar dress Marissa is wearing, and probably cost more than I make in a couple of months.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 09:58 | 6917074 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

 

A: Marissa Mayer

 

Q: What would you have if Kim Kardashian went to Stanford?

  

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 09:50 | 6917060 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Goo Girl"

Hmmm.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 08:32 | 6916928 Verga Biendura
Verga Biendura's picture

 saw the interview on CNBC and she did stumble, and pause alot.  What I saw the most out of her, was her head jerks to get her hair locks back off her face.  that said alot to me.  And the other guy on the right side of the screen.. the COB.  He looked as nervous as a whore in church the whole time.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 00:47 | 6916536 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Good for her.  Money does not buy happiness.  I never thought I would say that.  I gave a lot of it away to the college kids I worked with over the past year.  Not being in debt is happiness.   

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 23:35 | 6916410 HotelBread
HotelBread's picture

Her father must be a high-ranking Mason.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 23:19 | 6916372 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Makes total sense.  

When all stocks go up, you might as well rate things by how well the CEO looks draped inverted on some lawn furniture...

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 20:21 | 6915895 Full Nelson
Full Nelson's picture

A dollar says she's already got delusions of POTUS grandeur.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 19:50 | 6915817 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

lol @ goo-girl

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 19:07 | 6915670 JamaicaJim
JamaicaJim's picture

Fuck Yahoo.

Lousy site.

I do check it to see what the sheeple are fed, and it's a tube of effluvium delivered hourly from those fuckin moaks. I feel dumber every time I go to the shit-site.

Biased to the fucking core, censors scrub much and delete facts posted by commenters. Poorly written. 12 year old level of intelligence.

The Kraptrashians, Justa Beaver, the always asinine Housewifes, and Caitlin I got a Clitty Jenner abound on the shit-site, along with various motherfuckers like Kanyank, and total shit that only complete morons would read.

"Farticles".

Meyer may be good looking, but she presided over this lowerance into partisan shit. So, so what if she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, or fuck big black cocks? The bitch isn't there to suck and fuck.

 

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:53 | 6916824 UncleChopChop
UncleChopChop's picture

their 'news' is the anti-thesis of zh. utter and complete sheeple-chow.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 18:49 | 6915616 StagStopa
StagStopa's picture

Dear Timmy..

What is it with you and all the misogyny?  Always hating on powerful femmes who have accomplished more than you ever will.

 

I'm guessing small penis/closeted queen.

 

Kik cdroxi

 


Sat, 12/12/2015 - 18:07 | 6915492 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Isn't there a bukkake website out there called googirls?

Standard Disclaimer: Searching the Internet so you don't have to...

 

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:55 | 6916826 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Hesitate to ask what 'bukkake' is.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 11:04 | 6917226 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Think 'pearl necklace' on steroids...

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 09:11 | 6916985 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

You don't want to know.

Bath House likes to be "it," though.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 17:58 | 6915466 Lucky Leprachaun
Lucky Leprachaun's picture

I don't know whether it's MM's fault or not but over the last few years Yahoo News has degenerated into probably the most biased and badly written news site out there. Its left-wing/PC/multikult bias is so blatant that it borders on self-parody and even ignoring the bias the standard of journalism is disgracefully bad.   For example key persons are introduced mid-way through a report without any explanation of who they are. They can't construct a proper sentence and I've seen such howlers as 'could have went', not knowing when to use 'less' and 'fewer', putting an apostrophe for every plural etc.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:56 | 6916827 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Yahoo has News?

Fuck, my link goes straight to my email.  I've never knowingly looked at anything else they had going.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 09:45 | 6917049 newdoobie
newdoobie's picture

My favorite aggregate news sites will direct me to Yahoo news occasionally, I'll start reading without realizing where I am at till about the third sentence. Suddenly that little voice in my head says "WTF who wrote this piece of garbage?" I wish there was a way to filter my aggregate site so it wouldn't direct me there

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 16:46 | 6915286 wholy1
wholy1's picture

Hmmm.  Reminds me of another "swanky skank" / super fail TWICE - Lucent & HP - and CIA as[s]et / GOP go-no-where "candidate" Carly Fiorina !

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 16:07 | 6915156 Salsipuedes
Salsipuedes's picture

"Lucky Lucky Girl" or "Sleazy Scheming Skank?"

 

We´ll be right back after this update of a Mass Shooting of Soccer Moms in Malibu!

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 17:21 | 6915358 Jstanley011
Jstanley011's picture

"Hostility toward women? Moi?"

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 18:46 | 6915607 Salsipuedes
Salsipuedes's picture

Make it "some women" and it would be: Oui!

Same with the "men": My comments about Kissinger have been banned in 30 languages!

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 17:39 | 6914970 sgorem
sgorem's picture

been Through a million or so marissa's in my lifetime.(excuse the minor embellishment:) i'm not complaining, just stating a fucking fact that when the dust settles, the sun goes down, the honeymoon ends, the bottom line is thet it's either "marissas' " way, or no way at all. there are exceptions, but they're far and few in between....jus sayin. beautiful woman, really takes away from her management abilities. yahoo needs something in the line of a yellen, aka "old yeller." @ least you wouldn't be sittin' in your lowly cubicle all day wishin' you could be bangin the boss!

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:51 | 6914944 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

"As a person who has been online since 1981 (literally)"

 

Shucks Tim --- I think you got me beat there...     Funny, after 30+ years, chat/message forum hierarchy rules haven't changed much since rec.politics and alt.conspiracy on my old Wyse 30...   Argghhh...

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:53 | 6916822 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Holy shit, has it been over 30 years?  Can't be.  I was doing bulletin boards back in the early 90's, then came Compuserve, AOL and some other meteor.   I guess he was assisting Al Gore in his creation of the internet back then.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:51 | 6914943 ---------
---------'s picture

" negative thirteen billion dollars"

 

minus 13 billion. pffffff  what a joke

 

usa is worth minus 20 trillion and look how healthy it is

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:43 | 6914917 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

If she could turn herself into a black woman, she  might still have a chance.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 23:00 | 6916325 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Does she have to "be" a black lady?  I thought thinking that you were was enough these days....?

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 11:28 | 6917278 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

She could always self-identify

as a kind, somewhat eccentric grandmotherly-type jewish ... oops, already taken

never mind

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 17:50 | 6915436 Lucky Leprachaun
Lucky Leprachaun's picture

Now that is a fact. And were she lesbian or transgender she'd squeeze out a few extra years again.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:42 | 6914912 Vullsain
Vullsain's picture

The author is sexist for exposing another example of the pussy pass.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 14:08 | 6914823 cbaba
cbaba's picture

Yahoo should be fine because Marissa is sexy, Marissa gave birth etc etc..

Investors need something good about the company so that they can put their money in.

Its a PR business, but I believe there are billions of stupid money slushing around which can be put into Yahoo stocks just because its COE is a sexy woman.

Thats how crazy this stockmarket become.

 

 

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:51 | 6914759 RonArgent
RonArgent's picture

I'd fuck her, I'd grudge fuck her so hard she'd wake up the next morning severe vaginal trauma.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 08:18 | 6916911 Verga Biendura
Verga Biendura's picture

jeez man^H^H^H boy.. you are on the wrong website

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 16:37 | 6915240 T.Gracchus
T.Gracchus's picture

So you are a rapist...yes?

You want to have aggressive intercourse so that you injure a woman sexually?

You are one sick fuck. I do not know Marrissa Mayer any more than you do, but you are expressing yourself in a fucked-up way.

Please grow up a little before you post here again 

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:48 | 6916815 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

^^^What he said.  And I don't know what a 'grudge fuck' is.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:45 | 6914751 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

fantasy gambling is a game changer, i notice some state DAs have gone after Fan Duel but no one has gone after Yahoo. this is bigger than legalized pot economically. Bezos is probably trying to get in on their business.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:35 | 6914716 BarkingCat
BarkingCat's picture

I have used Yahoo as my main Portal (is that word still even used?) since the mid 1990s. My main go to for stock market was Yahoo Finance. Now the only use I have for the is email. I think they suck in a major way and will force myself to migrate my email to another vendor.
I was going to choose one in the EU but now I think I will go for one in Russia.
Reason is simple. If they all read your email then I don't give a shit if the Russians do. I don't live in their sphere of influence.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 18:14 | 6915474 Kprime
Kprime's picture

I still keep my yahoo box for junk mail and site registrations where you must provide an email but don't care to wade through their crap.

 

Try RunBox.  I love it.

https://runbox.com

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 08:20 | 6916914 Verga Biendura
Verga Biendura's picture

or better yet,  

mailinator.com

 

you don't even have to register there. a throw away box

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 18:32 | 6915573 Midas
Midas's picture

Thanks.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 17:35 | 6915400 Irish Yoga
Irish Yoga's picture

I forgot Yahoo even existed. I used to have about 12 email addresses for junk mail uses and had them since the 90's. Been a couple years now since I punted their free emails. I forgot they're still supposed to be a major website full of junk I'll never read. Or maybe it's just my Alzheimer's...

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:46 | 6916813 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

I set up a hotmail account in my real name and used it since I don't know how long.  Set up a yahoo account in my pseudonym to allow me to ignore, mass delete, and funnel all the spam to one mass delete button.  It worked pretty well until facebook outed me to the FBI, because in yahoo (I mentally pronounce it yayhoo) I stupidly put my real name in to some part of it.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:31 | 6914701 besnook
besnook's picture

rather harsh. yhoo is an unfortunate debacle that tried to cling too long to the old internet(one of the original do no evil internet companies still alive in zh), not quite as bad as aol and sun microsystems and others. they are still a cash cow and their way out of their self imposed morass can now only be saved by the alibaba shares. that is about as genius as cute little mayer gets. i am disappointed there are no tight ass pictures.

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 05:42 | 6916812 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Got to admit that she is pretty in my lecherous eyes.

Sat, 12/12/2015 - 13:26 | 6914687 Tim Knight from...
Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

Just to show the power of high-end make-up, hair stylists, and Photoshop, here's a bit more of an authentic picture:

 

http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/5213b4afecad04f567000013-800-/i...(1).jpg

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 11:11 | 6917243 Skiprrrdog
Skiprrrdog's picture

Oh yuck.... another fantasy bites the dust. Oh well... back to the nude midget wrestling magazines and industrial sized vat of motion lotion...

Sun, 12/13/2015 - 00:49 | 6916538 MrPalladium
MrPalladium's picture

"here's a bit more of an authentic picture:"

Jewess jeans!! You don't gotta be jewish, but it doesn't hurt!

Gilda Radner SNL

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