San Francisco Housing Bubble Goes Subterranean: $500/Month To Live In A Crawlspace

Tyler Durden's picture

While housing bubbles around the world are imploding from a sudden withdrawal of foreign capital (most recently exposed in Manhattan's 9-year high vacancy rate) there is still an excess of greater fools clinging to their unicorn dreams in the Bay Area to keep San Francisco home prices exuberant and rental costs through the roof... or in the case of this unbelievable Craigslist offering - through the floor...

Located just off the intersection of Pine and Divisadero (a nice area of the city)

There is this gem...

As the generous landlords explain...

With rent skyrocketing in San Francisco, desperate times call for desperate measures and we recently came up with the idea to rent our crawl space out to cash strapped young San Franciscans.



We aren't going to sugar coat this, as you can see by the photos, this is a basement crawl space and the ground is un-even. My roommate Neil has agreed to help out and level off the dirt crawl floor and we have some scraps of rug to throw down.



There is a decent amount of room for a mattress and night stand and you can keep a dresser in the garage. You will be able to run an extension cord into the crawl space for light and the garage provides decent heat for those chilly SF nights or feel free to bring in a space heater.


Since you'll have access to our bathroom and kitchen, we don't want any slobs! It would be great if you were also in tech so that we can talk shop but that is not a deal breaker, perhaps you are a founder still looking to get that seed round and this is all you can afford!

About The Landlords...

We are two 20 something start-up guys and like to have fun but are serious about being a part of the next big unicorn company. We like to go out on the weekends in North Beach, SOMA, Marina (Tipsy Pig!) and venture out of the city to Tahoe for some fresh pow pow and Napa on occasion.


We'll be hosting an open house this weekend to pick our next crawlspace housemate!

*  *  *

Thank you Ben, Thank you Janet!!! This is what you have wrought!

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JustObserving's picture

Yes, Virginia, we have no inflation in the land of the free

Pladizow's picture

I call Bullshit on this story!

Looney's picture

With such a beautiful crawlspace, I’d stay away from them golddiggin’ bitches. ;-)


Ignatius's picture

This place looks to be just one cut above living in a bankster's butt crack.

highandwired's picture

Hey Tyler, maybe it's time to cover the INVASION OF CANADA?

fockewulf190's picture

Sraight eye for the closet space guy? Probably not.

BaBaBouy's picture

""$500/Month To Live In A Crawlspace SF""

Rats Included ???

smithcreek's picture

So the two twenty something guys that own the place have a baby stroller and loads of kids toys, looks like Big Wheels?  C'mon, at least look at this shit with a critical eye before posting, it just makes all the other end of the world stuff a little harder to take seriously.

knukles's picture

About time for the Diversity Crowd like Zuckerberg to begin Opening Their Home to Alleviate the Problem

And if I'm not a Privileged White Boy taking the space, it's a Micro-Aggression Housing Unit


RonArgent's picture

I've been renting out my crawlspace to a small family of 16 Guatamalans since last February, $100 a head per month

JLee2027's picture

Yeah my first reaction was someone has $500  ? Who'd have thought?

NidStyles's picture

I get that this is likely a joke, but what is the alure of that city? 


I'm not gay, or a Jew. So I guess that is why I'm not into the modern Sodom. 

Amish FinEng's picture

What_ever_happened_to_living_out_of_the_back_of_your_Chevy_Chevette_Wagon? Oy!

Normalcy Bias's picture

Did they forget to mention the 'Master/Slave Arrangement' in the listing?

J S Bach's picture

"If you're goin' to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.  In the streets of San Francisco, you're gona meet a lot of crazy people there."

What is it about that beautiful city that attracts the looniest bipeds on the planet?

jeff montanye's picture

they should move the bikes, put some concrete blocks there for stairs and charge $750.

The9thDoctor's picture

This is obviously a joke.

Renting out a crawlspace violates many zoning laws.

Tyler Durderian's picture
Tyler Durderian (not verified) pretty bird Dec 14, 2015 2:27 AM

Come, don't be shy.

I even OFFER free LUNCH:


kralizec's picture

Nanacy Pelosi making room for some of those Syrian terrorists?  LOL!

DollarMenu's picture

That extension cord to the space heater sounds like something really firesafe.


DeadFred's picture

LOL if you think that matters you have never been to SF.

847328_3527's picture

"Yes, Virginia, the PRC has stopped the flood on money laundering Loot coming into Cali."

Escrava Isaura's picture



And many here are wondering why interest rates are going up.


Odegaard Falls's picture

oh fuck off nice video, ripped off from some other video, we got two planes with a couple hundred people all families and no of age single combantats, you got to be smart to get into this country and even then most likely you will drive a cab and have a phd or maybe even be a doctor, take your hysteria somewhere else jackoff

CPL's picture

Don't bother explaining to them, they don't understand how to plan long term unless a nice man in a suit offers an ARR, even then they've never done it.  They don't understand the arrangements being made are to increase the populations of smaller towns that need fresh blood in them and the families coming are all working people/business owners.  Working people.  The goal is to avoid the pooling in the major metros like has been done in the past and get services to startup where they are needed by people that have an enterpeunerial spirit.  Because if taking refugees, you are allowed to cherry pick.  The bunch of them will do just fine once they get settled in and be bitching about the weather with everyone else in no time.  In a generation all that crap will be behind them and their kids will be strapped with skates and ski's just like everyone else's.

jeff montanye's picture

were i in charge that's what i'd do.  but it starts with foreign, military and trade policy.

until the u.s. gets a divorce from israel, it's all just spinning wheels.

HowdyDoody's picture

No thanks to both - tacky, tacky, tacky.


Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) HowdyDoody Dec 13, 2015 11:53 AM
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

LOL! The architect fucked up by not including arrow slits in those phallic symbol crenelations. 

notbot's picture

Gotta be a fake story. How many 20-something tech guys have a couple of big wheels in their garage?

logically possible's picture

They are green techs. Couldn't afford a Prius

SixIsNinE's picture

they're gay and have had surrogates provide their fertile semen with a  safe space to incubate... e Voila!  Babies!  There was a mention of unicorns in the advert, so better be extra non-microaggro if not gay and bother to apply...

I think the cot in the kitchen area of the London for let story we saw a few months ago was nicer...


MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

That Brady-Bunch-era paneling is SWEET!  Kinda hard to get a foosball table in there though.

Mr.BlingBling's picture

WTF?   A frickkin' castle where you could throw a rock and break the neighbor's window?  (Slide 25)  And across the street from TWO fuckin' baseball fields set up for night games??? 

BWHAHAHA!!!  I hope the new owners enjoy the those HID lights shining through the windows every night.  Along with all the traffic. 

jvetter713's picture

Lots of nice gun turret potential

Stainless Steel Rat's picture
Stainless Steel Rat (not verified) HowdyDoody Dec 13, 2015 1:07 PM

The Frisco one is not my taste at all: too Marie Antoinette.  The San Francisco one, despite having 7 out of 10 photos contain the same room, will sell in about 5 days, whereas the Frisco one might not be sold after 5 years in this economy.

The quote is very telling: "perhaps you are a founder still looking to get that seed round and this is all you can afford!"

It really should read: "Perhaps you have invented an unprofitable business and are just waiting to spend other people's money to gamble on it!"

That way, the people would know they are living where they deserve.

Kaervek's picture

They will all be homeless together after their credit lines dry out

TahoeBilly2012's picture

If I see these homos in Tahoe I am going to bury them in a snow bank.

Mr.Sono's picture

That's what I call housing gone retarded.

Farqued Up's picture

Tahoe Billy, this weekend's storm provides the snow bank, finally. Last week it would have been a granite bank. We need it to snow continuous until about April to fill the reservoirs and the rain for the valleys in CA.

get nothing and like it's picture

Who cares if they let the muslims into the country, just keep the douchebag bayerrians (SF) out of Tahoe.  Keep Tahoe Douchefree!

XitSam's picture

What is pow pow and why is it fresh there?

Skateboarder's picture

Don't underestimate the gayness of 20-something startup fags - one 'of em will take up this opportunity and pat themselves on the back.

Hongcha's picture

Indeed Skateboarder; because it's sustainable and a low-impact footprint on the ecology of the home.  Also, the mushrooms they sprout and eat in the dark will be organic, artisan even ... I have lived in this area for 25 years and am totally unsurprised by this.  I also think it's a real ad.

Meat Hammer's picture

Only a progressive is smart enough to be brainwashed into believing that living in squalor is chic and hip. Maybe that's why hipsters grow big beards...they're practicing looking homeless because it's cool. Stupid. Mother. Fuckers.