Caption Contest: Kerry, Putin, Lavrov Staring Match Edition

Tyler Durden's picture

Earlier today, in "The Humiliation Is Complete: Assad Can Stay, Kerry Concedes After Meeting With Putin," we documented John Kerry's visit to Moscow where America's top diplomat discovered there are Dunkin Donuts in Russia and also found some time to talk Syria with Vladimir Putin and Sergei Lavrov.

After what amounted to a staring contest over the fate of Bashar al-Assad, Kerry blinked as expected, and the US is now willing to concede that the Syrian President may remain in power indefinitely. 

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
TheSecondLaw's picture

You were saying...?

Looney's picture

Kerry swallows!


P.S. The last time the Quds Force commander visited Putin, Russia moved into Syria. Well…

According to the Fars News Agency, General Soleimani Visits Russia

TEHRAN (FNA)- Islamic Revolution Guards Corps (IRGC) Quds Force Commander Major General Qassem Soleimani traveled to Moscow last week to meet President Vladimir Putin and high-ranking Russian commanders, unofficial sources said Wednesday.

Somepin’ big is in the works… This time in Iraq? I think?  ;-)


nope-1004's picture

Putins' expression is priceless.  He's like:  "You're so full of shit Kerry....."



Welfare Tycoon's picture

I love Putin's shit-eating smirk. 

It just screams "got you fucking good Horse Face".

ZerOhead's picture

It looks much more serious judging by facial expressions than the last potential nuclear standoff over the Crimea when Kerry and Nuland showed them their testicles...

Kabuki theater my friends...

nope-1004's picture

And notice how Kerry goes to visit Russia, not the other way around.  Speaks volumes because Putin doesn't need the US, but the US needs ME oil.


Amish FinEng's picture

FU israel! Bring the Russian pipeline! American military is a dont ask dont tell and female joke. General Katlin Jenner is in charge.

Occident Mortal's picture

Now watch in awe as Putin brings back Saddam Hussein.

J S Bach's picture

Putin is just fascinated that Herman Munster is actually REAL.

Amish FinEng's picture

Now that israel has a direct SSL tunnel into our military technology they(israel) doesn't need the real thing anymore. As long as any and all surplus goes to israel shithole everything will be fine.

FUCK these joos! Wake up America!

I am more equal than others's picture



You pigeons crapped on the board.  We must crush the pigeons!

krispkritter's picture

How do you say "So this horse walks into a bar..." Russian?

janus's picture

best caption so far goes to Krispkritter.

SuperRay's picture

Putin: "Who wants to be the last diplomat to be humiliated over Syria.  The last diplomat to be humiliated for a mistake!"

strannick's picture

There's is a magnitude of contempt and loathing in Putin's stare we can't comprehend .

Putin is looking into the eyes of a shallow, botoxed Billionaire-by-marriage who, if given the chance, would reduce his beloved nation to servitude and ruble.

Obama would trade his for 18 rounds with Tiger

beemasters's picture

Putin: Look into my eyes....You're feelin sleepy. Now listen, you need to let Assad stay and put a leash on your turkey.

kralizec's picture

They're both thinking the same thing...

"Obama is merely the second most retarded clown in the US government."

Freddie's picture

Putin:  "Do you need any hay or oats comrade Mr. Ed?"


Love Putin and Lavrov.  Rational adults dealing with evil juvenile psychopaths. 

I sleep better at night knowing Putin and Lrvrov are around because hopefully they can stop or at least deter  these sick evil f**ks from starting WW3.

The USA is a paper tiger now with defective and outdated hardware.  Backed by illiterate troops who do not have enough discipline to make it in the private sector.  Who worship Facebook, Star Wars, fantasy football and their Trayvon ball player thugs.  What a pathetic joke.

Consuelo's picture

The shame of having to agree with your statements...

two hoots's picture


That’s the “did he just ask for the nearest Dunkin Donuts?” stare.


NotApplicable's picture

Meanwhile, Lavrov looks like he wants to beat the crap out of the Kerry for having to deal with such a joke of a loser in serious times.

Mr.Sono's picture

Lavrov expression "debil" which means dumb ass

Baby Bladeface's picture
Baby Bladeface (not verified) NotApplicable Dec 16, 2015 6:48 PM

Lavrov: "The nerve, the boorishness contemptible, I am not believing! To bring along that Nuland .......... woman."

Freddie's picture

Lavrov" Do we really have to deal with this horse face loser and his pathetic welfare state country?"

Putin: "Nyet"

Consuelo's picture



It 'screams' the quiet confidence of a man in control - of himself, his nation and the support therein.   It's been a long road since the raping of the early 1990's by the West, but worth the struggle.   Russia is a proud nation again.

The Merovingian's picture

Putin: Why the long face, John?

Kerry: Because I didn't put on a fresh Depends before sitting down.

sonoftx's picture

I would not want to play poker c him. He knows his "tells" and hides them well.

Newsboy's picture

Yes, they will probably believe that, too. We won't embarrass you in public.

prefan4200's picture

Putin is thinking: "This man is a silly boring nincompoop.  The only way I can stay awake here is to amuse myself by listening to him, studying him, and attempting to discern who is the greater nincompoop..... This man?  Or his boss?  This won't be easy...."

Lavrov is thinking: "Vlad is still awake.  He must be doing that thing again where he is trying to figure out if Kerry is more stupid than his boss."

Kerry is not thinking anything of importance, is incapable of it.

Arnold's picture

Kerry is thinking of his beloved Serotta.

cheeseheader's picture

Just threw you a bone, 4200.


Putin:  My little finger could make this clown cry...from across the table.  Why oh why do I allow myself to submit to these westerners?


Lavrov:  What is comrade Vlad waiting for? he could drop this clown with his little finger...from across the table!  Note to secretary (my real secretary who keeps my appt. book); never schedule again meeting for westerner little shot.


Paging Mr. B. Alatovkrap.

Urban Redneck's picture

Lavrov: Whatcha wanna do with him?

Putin: He got a real pretty mouth, ain't he?

Lavrov: That's the truth.

Putin: [to Kerry] You're gonna do some prayin' for me, boy. And you better pray good.


After all Syria was "just there" sort of like the Cahulawassee River...

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Not how devout Christian's think.

Urban Redneck's picture

And you speak for all devout Christians?  Like Saudi Arabia speaks for all devout Muslims?

Do you doubt the devotion of Christians in Appalachia?

Or are you one of the Puti fags who can't come out of the closet and simultaneously can't stand jokes about Dear Leader Puti when one of the several levels of the joke insinuates that he is as queer as you?

Lighten up, Francis.

fukidontknow's picture

I'm telling you Kerry she's (Nuland) a fucking dog.

stant's picture

Just Gona throw this out there. When Obama went to the pentagon I saw that as a Hirohito goes to see Mcarthur moment. A real president would have had that press confrence in the Oval Office and those generals would have been ordered. By a commander n chief. Any thoughts?

adeptish's picture

Vladimir: I get the throat.

Sergei: I will gladly rip out his heart then, comrade.

Kerry: You guys look hungry...

BustainMovealota's picture

Of course the US blinked.   Assad is a very good money maker for the US, Jew owned war factories.

Secret Weapon's picture

It is hard to make a winning argument when you do not hold the moral high ground. 

Colonel Klink's picture

Hahaha nice try John, you were trying to Kohn the world, but we're on to joo!

Greenie's picture

The smell in the room from Kerry shitting his pants has gotta be overwhelming

krispkritter's picture

That's complete horseshit and you know it...

cheeseheader's picture

You're rolling tonight, buddy.  I'll have whatever your having b/c this Sobieski isn't doing it's job.  Might need the brown goods....

Rhal's picture

Bashar is his name? 

I thought it was Al. 

So tell be about this Bashar fellow...

besnook's picture

yes, you are our bitch now!

HoserF16's picture

Kerry is Waaaaaayyyyyyy Out of his league. What a 3-D Loser...