This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

JaBBa THe CoRRuPT...

williambanzai7's picture




 

JABBA THE CORRUPT

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 12/31/2015 - 14:14 | 6982511 Muse minus Time
Muse minus Time's picture

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/hongkong/12076602/New-Yea...

Happy 2016 William...sincere gratitude for your "Visual Combat" series...it inspires me to read more.  2016 Eyes Open, No Fear  {}

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 12:21 | 6978345 ALANBEEKMAN
ALANBEEKMAN's picture

Good job WB, made me laugh!

Can't wait to see what inspires you in the New Year.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 10:51 | 6977985 Zero-Hegemon
Zero-Hegemon's picture

WHAT, NO SLAVE YELLEN??? DENIED!!!

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 01:28 | 6977079 MaxThrust
MaxThrust's picture

Hey William,

may be you could do one with Obe 1 kanobe saying to Luke skywalker

 

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy"

with Wall street in the background.

 

Max

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 00:24 | 6976942 blindman
blindman's picture

http://www.elmoremagazine.com/2015/08/music-news/listen-to-nrbqs-terry-a...
EXCLUSIVE: Listen To NRBQ’s Terry Adams Take On Thelonious Monk
Music News | August 19th, 2015
.
to morrow.

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 23:33 | 6976786 janus
janus's picture

good evening, ZHealots.  greetings from beneath a thick slick of sleet.  up to now we in new england have been spared the slushy, blustery mess typically endemic of late december's weather.  and, up until now, we have all been glad of that.  now things are different.  a dreary pall hath fallen as pelletized bits of sleet hinting at the horrors to come and encrusting our hearts with curmudgeonly spite for the season.

what better time to call off 'The Year of Hate'?  let me stop you all before you start hyperventilating...i know what you're about to start typing: "but janus, you said 'The Year of Hate' was to comprise an entire calendar year and not a moment less; technically, you can't officially call off 'The Year of Hate' till sometime after 23:59:59 on january the first, 2016...a deal's a deal!" 

i would never dream of denying my brethern a single moment of hatred, but 'technically' i have fulfilled my contractual obligations to 'The Year of Hate'.  for you see, 'The Year of Hate' 'technically' began on Christmas eve, 2014; not january the first, 2015, at 00:00:01.   

let me play the ghost of christmas past right-quick and sweep you back in time...back to where 'The Year of Hate' all began. 

janus was, on the eve of Christmas eve, 2014, jumped by several young people who could easily be mistaken for obama's sons.  my crime? showing one of them generosity and kindness.  from this scene of beastly viciousness a theme for the upcoming year was born.

and now it's over; as of Christmas Day, 2015.

i haven't yet decided to what sentiment i'll dedicate the succeeding year.  i reckon it'll come to me right before we crack its seal.  'The Year of Love' is far too hackneyed a meme for me, i want the theme for 2016 to be something more original and less predictable.  all the same, events thus far leave me inclined to go with the tediously saccharine and threadbare trope: "love".  love is the complement and proximate coordinate of hate; they as concepts maintain a relationship that is symbiotic as much as it is symmetric -- much as life's events are punctuated by conceptual polarities in the form of joys & pains, ups & downs and wins & losses.  verily, life has a way of bracketing the major plot-points of our time on earth with complementary events, the balancing effect of each suggesting that there is some measure of symmetry in the proximate polarity of each's respective extremity.  symmetry is an element of aesthetics; symmetric beauty belies a truth pregnant with significance. in evaluating events in sequence, their significance individually is derivative of each in relation to all when considered holistically.   

perhaps there is no order nor symmetry nor beauty nor significance nor meaning to all we endure; maybe it's merely our tendency to interpret patterns from randomness and affix to them a sense of coherence.  perhaps the blizzard of happen-chance is just a jumble of coincidences inter-spliced with accidents.  perhaps our universe, our galaxy, our solar system, our planet and our very form are but a melange of muddled space-time masses that our consciousness has sub-consciously arranged into systems, permitting our conscious consciousness a framework within which it can reason and make sense of things that are, in actuality, senseless.

maybe.  but then again, maybe there is in fact a delicate and impossibly intricate order articulating all things, and all things are in turn articulating a larger order...and so on.  maybe there is no such thing as coincidence; perhaps there is a purpose and a reason for everything we do and experience -- particularly the big events.  however, in appraising things this way, it necessarily follows that nothing is left to chance -- no matter how small or seemingly insignificant (what some call the butterfly effect).  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

it's strange how reluctant we are to recognize the ordained symmetry of our experience as such...so much so that when we do perceive the symmetry/beauty in events we convince ourselves that it's just illusory for the very reason that we do perceive it.  

janus is more of the 'cogito ergo sum' persuasion. for those of us so disposed, the thinking goes: if you do in fact perceive it, that's a pretty strong indication that it's in fact there.

to put it another way: are two notes in a harmonic relationship 'actually' in harmony?  or do we just perceive 'harmony' due to our tendency to organize observable phenomena into patterns?  

we could go further and assert that the concepts of 'order' and 'chaos' are altogether incompatible; that you must believe in one or the other.  a reasonable argument can be made that if any such thing as order exists anywhere, nothing could be independent of that order; that everything, one way or another, maintains a relationship to that order.  and by the same token one could say that chaos is all there is and order is just an illusion, which is a function of consciousness, which is just sentience's attempt to rationalize chaos.

janus puts his money on order...there is just too much of it about -- even my ability to comprehend 'order' as a concept suggests the existence and primacy of order; and i do further accept that this acknowledgment negates the possibility of chaos as something distinct and meaningless; that chaos is itself only a mistaken form of order or a phase of it -- what seems to us chaotic either falls into arrangement with something whose dimensions and purpose we cannot understand, or it gives definition to the order by virtue of its contrasted chaos.

it is in that frame of philosophical reference that i now play the part of Christmas present:

on Christmas day janus spent time with the ones he loves.  most of the day was occupied with the company of my beloved family, but a portion of it was spent with loved one on-line, you Hedgers.  and, insipid as this sounds, i do maintain an affection for you bitchez.

before i get too sentimental, i'll recall to mind that janus had vaguely mentioned the possibility that his time has come while chatting with y'all here on WB's thread; that his break as a writer may've at long last arrived and that -- unlikely as it most of the time seemed -- Fate would finally reward janus for committing an investment in the craziest of all schemes: a vision quest.

for just over half my forty years on earth i've known my destiny lie in creative endeavors, but instead of pursuing this course in earnest janus has allowed the improbability of success therewith to overcome my artistic ambitions, to keep plodding practically and live a life in adherence to the straight and narrow...all of which resulted in frustration and a profound discontent, aware deep-down that i was sinning against destiny while playing house safely ensconced within a white picket fence and the pretense of propriety.  

some four years ago janus consciously decided to step out into the void and acid-test this notion of destiny, manifesting withal in the crucible of experience.

as i watched the blood gush from my mouth and nose onto a freezing and freshly sleeted boylston street one year ago, i considered the possibility that my intuition with respect to fate wasn't all that keen.  maybe these niggers were right; maybe janus should'a played it safe and stayed within the boundary of his white picket fence back in bama.

a year on from the thug-jumping and janus perceives a distinct symmetry in two contrasted events, and from that contrast i can properly extract both significance and meaning.  this Christmas i meet a black dude who's lived out his own vision quest and along the way found substantial success; instincts strongly suggest that i'm closer to my own than i've ever been, by virtue of a fortuitous encounter with an insightful and creative black dude met within a week and a year of my brush with a group of 'african americans' who can only be described in the most derogatory of terms.

and to a larger extent, when this encounter is placed within the context of my holistic experience, i must confess that it would be pretty cool for janus, a hick from the sticks of rural alabama, to get his big break via a black dude from beverly hills.   

whose to say what lesson(s) there is to be drawn from these two Christmases and their representatives from the opposing polarities bracketing blackness and the contrasts within it -- on one end a gang of no-account niggers and on the other a mover/shaker from beverly hills/hollywood who's in every way a gentleman.  there is every possibility that nothing is in any of this significant or symmetric...that it's just a matter of coincidence and random chaos.  

maybe and maybe not.

nevertheless, the black dude from beverly hills has asked janus to write a story and send it along once it's ready, an original story that i was to set to work on once we parted.  so last year i submitted a pint of blood to some thugs and this year i'm laying an original story on the line; for the record, i prefer the latter when it comes to exchanges...i'm writing on the Hedge right now to warm up.  that is to say, i'm about to write the most important words i've ever typed...about to spin the most significant story of my life...and, maybe, just maybe, actualize my Fate and secure the promise glimpsed in a vision which some four years ago catalyzed my quest.

my instincts are all the more fortified with positivity because this is a very special story.  i have to say, my muse really came through for me when i needed her most.  the concept is brilliant, now it's time for janus to do his part and execute with a flourish of genius.

all i know is: i can't wait to play the ghost of christmas future.

moreover, as i extricate my sensibilities from 'The Year of Hate', i'm going to need some help re-acclimating to a world of love and neighborliness.  you're reading me aright: janus has officially declared an end to all hatred and enmity forever and ever.

not that i'm expecting any gratitude, but if planet earth wishes to express its thankfulness, it can start with a little patience. 

so far, my efforts at comity and racial harmony have been met with the blunt edge of hostility and/or indifference.

two days ago, while thinking i'd ceremonially mark the end of 'The Year of Hate' janus set about to find a nest writhing with every minority one could fathom, a place percolating every ethnic permutation imaginable with whom i could celebrate the initiation of a new epoch, an age of fraternity, liberty and equality.

naturally, i made my hajj to the mecca of all things multicultural and, not coincidentally, home of harvard univeristy: cambridge, massachusetts.

janus set upon cabridge with alacrity and ferocious enthusiasm to span the various cultural bridges burned in my campaign of hatred.  being both excited and impatient to begin this process of healing and inclusion, i leapt from out my prius the moment i crossed the river charles and dashed into the first place i could find.

on memorial drive there sits a shell gas station abreast the muddy river; 'coincidentally', it happens to be the same gas station where those obnoxious (and probably racist) boston bombers chose to go shopping for a stolen SUV, have their selfies taken on a security cam and kidnap an unfortunate immigrant from vietnam, the former owner of that stolen SUV.

janus thought his actions would go some way in repairing all the damage done by those pesky terrorists and set the minds of our vietnameese guests at ease with a little of his highly stylized diplomacy.

i came bursting into that shell station like a force of nature, "alright, people, show me something vietnameese...and make it snappy!"

it just seemed right and natural that i demand a vietnameese candidate to begin my works of charity and compassion.  the vietnameese got schlonged by those unruly chechnian terrorists (not to mention that nasty little war a few decades ago); so janus was to shoulder the burdern of restoring some balance to all things vietnameese...remember what i was saying about symmetry?

anyway, it appears that shell station was running very low on vietnameese immigrants -- they all just stood there stupefied, unable to produce nary a specimen of the race...and to add insult to injury, they didn't even have any laotians in stock.

undeterred, i started cataloging the various asian races searching out the next best thing to a vietnameese immigrant...as i ticked off everything from mongoloid to phillipino, my ethnic invitations were met only with crickets (boring and intolerant white-american crickets, at that). this was not going as well as i imagined in the planning phase.  furthermore, you'd think that the people would have a little more respect and enthusiasm for a cause so noble.  what's worse, the more i tried to energize the store's patrons with some aggressive and voluble do-goodery the more stand-offish they became.

as the moments crept by and grew increasingly awkward, it suddenly occurred to janus why minorities hate white people so much.  i mean, you go out of your way to spread joy and peace and unity, and white devils will only stare back at you with confusion and alarm.  

white people suck. 

they were looking at ME like i was the crazy one!?!  oh, sure, janus is only ending the 'Year of Hate' and attempting to fill the aching cavity in humanity's heart with a surfeit of LOVE...and all they can do is gape at janus with eyes abulge and brow kinked with concern.

and then, just when i was beginning to yield to despair and try my luck at the mobil station across the steet, i gave the cashier a careful going over.

EUREKA!!! i'd struck minority gold!

in my haste to find some constituent from a put-upon race of asians, i failed to notice the subtleties and nuances of my surroundings.  it's a lesson i'll always take with me in my efforts to end intolerance and bigotry: just because you don't see diversity, that doesn't mean it's not there.  i was about to make the most spectacular multicultural find there is...it's the stuff of legends among us do-gooders...today was my lucky day.

not only was he african and not only was he an immigrant, but, get this, my object of tolerance-based-love was an albino!!!

jackpot!  

almost shaking with excitement i inquired, "you're an albino, aren't ya?"

thinking that maybe albinos are hard of hearing or possibly that his english was inadequate to the present challenge i shouted, "ARE YOU AN ALBINO!?!"

he didn't answer, just stared blankly at janus.

after a while i interpreted his silence for what it was: affirmation.  here i was in the presence of something not unlike the mythical unicorn of multiculturalism, the elusive albino.  

in the excitement and thrill of this amazing discovery i lost sight of the potential peril represented in his secret's revelation.  but the cat was out of the bag...the paste was now squeezed from the tube -- there was no going back; my new friend was now exposed to the potential of intolerance, and it was my job to check its wicked advance. 

time for janus to passionately advocate for all albinos everywhere, especially this one so recently befriended by yours truly, "fellow white devils, there is no cause for alarm.  this albino is one of the very best there are; he's a first-rate albino and comes with the highest recommendations.  he is a credit to freaks and mutants everywhere.  he has forsworn all of the barbaric rituals practiced by albinos the world over: al wouldn't be caught dead giving you the evil eye; he will not infect you with ebola; and he will not sneak into your home while you sleep and eat your children" 

i sought to conceal my wonderment at having encountered this magical creature and at the same time put him at ease.  in turning to address the albino i said "do not be afraid...my name is janus...i'm here to help explain what you are and the nature of your struggle to these white devils."

no doubt dumb-struck with gratitude and respect, that albino just looked on janus with what must have been  awe, and so i continued, "d'ya mind if i call you 'al'?  al, i know how hard it is for you people...i know what it's like to face the intolerance that pervades the culture of cambridge.  i'm going to tell these ignorant white devils what it means to be an albino, and they will be bawling like babies by the time i'm done -- janus is here in solidarity with the albino as an advocate for all the world's mutants and freaks.  in short, i'm the best and only friend you'll ever have in america.  none of these people can be trusted.  only janus is capable of showing you the respect you deserve.  and from here out, i will show these intolerant haters the way"

then i turned again to address the hate-filled honkeys gathered, "while you white devils have been about enjoying your skin-pigment privileges, this poor albino was forced from a land where he was followed like a messiah from village to village because of his lucky charms. but the truth is not what breakfast cereal commercials would have you believe... it's only natural that you'd be jaded by the commoditification and commercialisation of all things albion.  i know what you're thinking to yourselves, 'he's not magical; he's not delicious; in fact, he looks more than a little disgusting!'  sure, it's easy to lean on generalizations; but it's time we grow up and make him feel right at home. let's show 'al' the kind of hospitality mass-holes are known for.  in africa, he can't go two feet without some witch doctor trying to hack off his left hand or a shaman who's after his eyeballs.  and then he comes to america, only to find that his white privlege is worth nothing here in the good ole USA!  here in the land of the prejudice and the home of bigots, he is hardly ever even gawked at by curious onlookers...just one look at his obviously freakish appearance anywhere else in the world and he'd instantly be a subject of superstition and endless attention, but no one could care less for his lucky charms stateside.  he feels lonely and unappreciated on these shores.  back home he could stroll through any of the squalid villages that pepper the bush country with the swagger of a mr. popularity.  here he's just 'al' the albino.  it's sad, really."

i paused so they could take in the heartrending saga and then began again...

"just one ounce of his flesh is lucky enough to keep bad ju-ju away for a whole year if added to the right potion...and here in the land of the racists, you couldn't even give his fingers away for free!  how would that make you feel?  to one moment being the most magical and valuable  person for miles in all directions to working at a shitty shell station never to be gawked at or have your appendages plundered.   you heartless bunch of white devils wouldn't know a magical albino if he came up and kicked you in the shins!"

wiping a tear from my eye i began concluding my remarks, "now, there's a way you can make up for all your indifference to poor al here.  i want everyone to form a single file line and, on the way out, show some appreciation for his magical powers.  i want cambridge to show al some love and respect.  i want each of you to touch 'al' on his ear-lobe for good luck.  i'll bet anything that this is a well established custom in his native land...and what better way to show him he's welcome."

it was a tender moment of genuine human compassion.  janus was so moved he's about to start a facebook page with photos of all those strangers lucky enough to touch al's earlobe.  it will be the first of many facebook pages dedicated to tolerance and my recovery from hate.

the chinese say, "every thousand mile journey begins with single step."  those chinamen sure are handy with the proverbs...and that's all well and good for the those rice-eating bastards, but for janus it's meaningless drivel...i won't waste my time tip-toeing, janus will boldly transit the 1000 mile trek to racial harmony with a few giant leaps forward.

onward & upward,

janus 

 

 

Thu, 12/31/2015 - 13:37 | 6982336 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

@janus,

as usual, rofl!

my spidey senses tell me as an adjunct, you have a brite n shiney future at improv.

here's wishing you & yours a HNY...eatchur blackeyedpeas ;)

should you make yourself available in chat,  ping me as ol' WG has a question to ax.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 10:01 | 6977812 Lumberjack
Lumberjack's picture

Janus, that was freaking hysterical! It was so well written I could easily visualize in full color and motion, all of the above. I hope the gent. from Beverly Hills is a movie producer and you get into the film business!

 

 

 

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 01:08 | 6977053 stant
stant's picture

Godspeed Janus

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 19:29 | 6975864 blindman
blindman's picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTuvmQNiO3w
this is the real one
wash
wd 40, wetter than water or oil
machine clean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJVaIt4srck

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 18:32 | 6975672 blindman
blindman's picture

the monopolistic and fascist central banking,
'money', system and its political facades are crumbling.
people will see right through it in 2016.
More Than Eva Braun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfX5yHjKAU4
.
time to come out of the bunker,
no moar war.
"a broken heart is like a nazi..."
.
Danny O'Keefe - More Than Eva Braun - Live at McCabe's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt8THJfvP8A
.
Samsara Full Movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chjxNfOZ-Io

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 18:23 | 6975652 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Don't mean to sound too critical...

but shouldn't Obongo be protruding - like some malignant, alien growth - from the middle of Jabba's forehead?

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 21:24 | 6976292 snodgrass
snodgrass's picture

Jabba is Al Gore - Mr. "profit from phony global warming" with his monkey - Obonzo - who probably thinks he will be in on the scam as well. Somebody has to pay his golf fees.

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 18:23 | 6975650 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

That Russian of mine is always full of surprises.  In 15 years I can't recall her ever making this dish although she says she did once since we have been married.  She is full of shit because I would have remembered. 

http://russiapedia.rt.com/of-russian-origin/kholodets/

This is what happens when you marry a Russian woman and there are other Russians around her at New Years.  I saw this operation starting and I was confused.  I had to ask what was going on.  She said that I won't like it.  I like the vodka part so I will buy plenty and watch them eat that congealed mass.

Well, you learn something new everyday.  I will try anything once.  I was thinking shrimp and king crab and that is what I will buy.  I will drink the vodka.      

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 19:54 | 6975967 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

You've been together 15 years and she is still surprising you. Lucky guy ;-)

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 07:11 | 6977488 Gavrikon
Gavrikon's picture

17 for me.  And I too find Xolodets disgusting.

Now, that Solyanka soup?  Oh Yeah!

And Russian (Ukrainian, too) women are (in general) the most beautiful, feminine and sexy on the planet.  Not to forget racially realistic and anti-feminist.

At this point, I usually thank my ex-wife for dumping me for a younger man (who she no longer is with).  I wish her a Happy New Year, as she grows ever older, alone, and bitter.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 12:47 | 6978456 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Yep, had (more or less) the same thing happen to me ~50 years ago, with a similar outcome.

The best revenge is living well.

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 21:07 | 6976238 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I have to admit that she is one hell of a woman for putting up with me.  Most women would not.;-)  I am watching the process of making this dish.  It takes about two days to accomplish.  OK.  I only want to know how this works so I have to stand clear and let her do her thing.  This is not McDonalds.      

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 19:39 | 6975904 HerrDoktor
HerrDoktor's picture

s'novom godom

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 13:59 | 6974553 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Obozo and his Jabba fester together.

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 13:56 | 6974541 Doppelganger71
Doppelganger71's picture

I find his lack of schwartz disturbing...............

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 14:14 | 6974596 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Are you blind? Can't you see his little dick on the lower left side of the picture?

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 15:45 | 6974981 Strelnikov
Strelnikov's picture

You're thinking "schwanz".   "Schwartz"  means 'black', so there could be a deeper meaning to the post.

Fri, 01/01/2016 - 23:44 | 6987129 Old_Dog
Old_Dog's picture

He WAS thinking "Schwartz"....

from Wikipedia

Yogurt introduces Lone Starr to the power of "The Schwartz."

(I do not have a copy of the script, but I think "May The Schwartz be with you" was said at least once.)

Happy New Year, thanks WB7 for you unparalleled artistic commentary.

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 16:14 | 6975130 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

There are mixed things on this across the web. You are correct too, but see below. 

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/schwartz

The poster would need to clarify.

Me, I was exploiting an opportunity to call Obama someone else's dick or prick. ;-)

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 12:41 | 6978429 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Can always count on you Ms...

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 13:49 | 6974509 Muse minus Time
Muse minus Time's picture

Awesome "visual combat"   :-D

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 13:33 | 6974445 superdave
superdave's picture

International law?  We don't need no stinkin' International Law! 

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 14:06 | 6974575 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

don't worry, we don't have either domestic or international law enforced except for the little people

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 12:58 | 6974326 MrPalladium
MrPalladium's picture

Brilliant!! Best portrait of Erdogan in existence!

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 08:12 | 6977550 Pliskin
Pliskin's picture

Is it a portrait? Fuck me, I thought it was a photograph! Doh!

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 13:58 | 6974548 Bilderberg Member
Bilderberg Member's picture

I always go to William's page at lunch time! Why do I do that!!!

Tue, 12/29/2015 - 16:04 | 6975081 HowdyDoody
HowdyDoody's picture

Erdogan is a mere stain on the rim of the toilet bowl that holds the depravity and corruption of those running the likes of him.

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 09:03 | 6977647 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

I always appreciate good poetry.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 08:13 | 6977557 Pliskin
Pliskin's picture

...and that's being kind!

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 12:28 | 6978384 Thom_333
Thom_333's picture

Too kind.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!