This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Art Cashin's 2015 Summary: From Caitlyn Jenner To Confederate Flags

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Authored by the venerable UBS NYSE Floor Director Art Cashin,

'Tis two days yet to New Year
but despite what you’re hopin’
The folks in the Board Room
say “the full Eve we'll stay open”
 
So we'll buy and we'll sell
as the tape crawls along
And though "Bubbly's" verboten
we may still sing a song

Two Thousand Fifteen
had high hopes at the start
But a sharp selloff in August
nearly ripped us apart

Then Draghi and Yellen
swore that hope hadn't departed
So we stuttered and sputtered
to just get back where we started

We lost special people
as we seem to each year
It just makes us treasure
each one that's still here

Mr. Spock, Leonard Nimoy
beamed up for one last time
And Rod McKuen put his pen down
as he wrote his last rhyme

BB King plays for Angels
on a heavenly shore
Ben E. King is gone also
he'll "Stand by me" no more

And Maureen O'Hara
with her fiery red hair
Went to visit St. Peter
and found "Ellie May" there

Horror movies', Wes Craven
now some cherubs he'll scare
Christopher Lee went along too
to play the monster lead there

Frank Gifford departed
as did Yogi Berra
Sports true special gentlemen
its the end of an era

Darryl Dawkins is gone now
as is Moses Malone
They're teaching foul shooting
to each cherub alone 

And Meadowlark Lemon
will Globe Trot no more
Guess the party is over
since we lost Leslie Gore

Julian Bond left us also
as did Edward Brooke too
Two of the best statesmen
that we ever knew

And Mario Cuomo
just decided to go
And our VP, Joe Biden
lost his precious son, Beau

King Abdullah left also
to sit by Allah's great throne
As did Omar Sharif
who went off on his own

A much loved lion named, Cecil
a dentist paid so he could slay
The backlash was enormous
so the doc hid away

Policemen and suspects
caused a ton of blog chatters
As demonstrators all chanted
about whose life really matters

Refugees flooded Europe
terror hit Paris two times
While in San Bernardino
we saw husband/wife crimes

They put a Tiara
on Miss Universe
And five minutes later
they had to reverse

California had fires
the Carolinas saw floods
And a balmy December
has cherry blossoms in buds

There were some shootings on campus
and some even in a church
In Nepal a great earthquake
left thousands in a lurch 

Hoverboards were this season's
really, really hot toy
And Bruce Jenner's now Caitlyn
he's no longer a boy

Taylor Swift told the streamers
her songs she won't sell
But late in this year
she got swamped by Adele

In England Elizabeth
still sits on the throne
Surpassing Victoria
a new record she'll own

Oil prices plunged
for lots of good reasons
To dealmakers chagrin
they closed the Four Seasons

The Confederate Flag
was lowered then furled
That debate was confusing
to the rest of the world

While a rat took a pizza
on a subway one day
But he couldn't eat gluten
so he threw it away

Our good friends to the North
to the left they would go
Which they showed by electing
yet another Trudeau

Harper Lee found an old script
from an old neighborhood
It dethroned a hero
Atticus looks less good

Let not this year's memories
of sadness or sleaze
Disturb you this day
just give your heart ease

Have faith that this New Year
will bring a new sign
And believe in yourself
it will all work out fine

Just lift up your spirits
and some fruit of the vine
And kiss ye a loved one
and sing Auld Lange Syne

And late Thursday evening
as you watch the ball fall
Wish yourself all the best
Happy New Year to All!!

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 12/30/2015 - 13:59 | 6978794 Insurrexion
Insurrexion's picture

"For fuck sake, please put this crap house poet out of his misery."

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:04 | 6978830 Looney
Looney's picture

Art Cashin should quit his job and start posting his rap-rants on Youtube, as a sleeping aid. ;-)

Looney

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:16 | 6978894 Takeaction2
Takeaction2's picture

Off Topic...But needs to be on TOP OF ZH....  Get the new Putin Calender...I want one..

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/28/europe/gallery/vladimir-putin-calendar-201...

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:41 | 6978997 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Cashin said on cnbc yesterday he sees equities rising in 2016.  He says one thing for KWN and another for cnbc.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:09 | 6979078 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

I really wanted a pic with him standing next to an S-500 battery, but this will do...

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:01 | 6978814 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Biden's a piece of shit, but the media were total fucking assholes the way they paparazzi'd his son's funeral. Bunch of no-class motherfuckers.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:49 | 6979019 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

Your last sentence is redundant with regard to the media.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:03 | 6978833 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I like Art Cashin.

That said, dear Art is the ultimate 'insider' who likes to promote the belief he is outside. And he pulls it off admirably....long before Trump got into the game.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:47 | 6979014 oddjob
oddjob's picture

His fervent endorsement of Grasso's stomach-churning $200,000,000.00 payout was sickening.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:02 | 6979053 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

That was pretty ugly.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:16 | 6979104 oddjob
oddjob's picture

It sure was, probably a dozen years ago, but funny how the completely outrageous is hard to forget.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:11 | 6978834 Janet Shalom Be...
Janet Shalom Bernanke's picture

Yet another annointed Fed, can't understand what's in their head, because they refuse to let markets go into the red,

as they create yet bigger asset bubbles causing the innocent public much trouble.  These bubbles will end as they all do. Let's hope this time, with their destruction, will cause the Fed some trouble too.  

 

 

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:06 | 6978854 Insurrexion
Insurrexion's picture

 

Here is a much better New Years Eve read...

 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/truly-big-shorts-john-m-cunningham?trk=pr...

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:09 | 6978868 TheObsoleteMan
TheObsoleteMan's picture

I really don't give a fuck what this Wall Street whore has to say. "My doctors have given me six months to live" would be a good start.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:18 | 6978919 10mm
10mm's picture

But he couldn't pay the bill, so he gave me another 6 months.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:12 | 6978871 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

King Abdullah left also

to sit by Allah's great throne...

Surrounded by piles

of decapitated heads

And heaps of bones

from his executed dead

On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! ...Now is the season of evil! [/Vigo]

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:43 | 6979191 assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

you're wrong about Abdullah, a decent fella

yes a despot but best of the lot

look now what we got, you'll see my point

careful what you wish for, or a Wahab you'll anoint

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:15 | 6978883 rejected
rejected's picture

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day,,,  america died.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:16 | 6978903 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

So all year long, profits drop, and Art wants to point to a sharp selloff in August as a problem?

 

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:59 | 6979031 Janet Shalom Be...
Janet Shalom Bernanke's picture

Allegedly, Art was only able to steal a million in fees from clients this year because of August.  

August's decline let some market speculators wonder if stocks do truly go in two directions, not just up.

The market action since 2008 does still prove that fundamentals do not matter, when the government is intent on manipulating markets in order to delay the inevitable collapse that they, themselves seeded and caused.  Instead of investing in infrastructure, and promoting job creation and fiscal responsibility, they instruct the Fed to manipulate interest rates to keep a balooming debt pile from growing even more exponentially, and instead of paying back the debt that is owed, they monetize it with all the hubris and insanity that the printing press will always be there, they give endless entitlements since half of the public can't find a job or can't find a job that pays a decent living wage, they wage endless wars to keep the defense industry in business, and keep the millions of soldiers busy because there aren't jobs back home for them to go to anyway.     The country is truly fucked.  that is putting it mildly.

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 16:50 | 6979398 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

 

There was a sell-off in August?  I must have been dozing.

Weren't the Big Boys just playing the trading range like they always do?

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:16 | 6978906 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Art, your poems suck, time for a dirt nap.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:45 | 6979007 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

His poems just as good as Nikki Giovanni's.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:22 | 6978937 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

When I was in the grocery store last week I saw a magazine at the checkout counter that displayed a front page with 'Caitlyn Jenner' stating that he 'wants to be Bruce Jenner again'. Frankly, the 'Caitlyn' gig did not garner the dollars he wanted IMHO. If he goes back to being 'Bruce Jenner' he will make more money by getting more interviews down the road.

 

Methinks he is taking a page from his BIG ASS daughter and her ASS narcissism.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:43 | 6979002 corporatewhore
corporatewhore's picture

I agree.  Although I don't think it's about narcissism but rather $$$$.  I think he thought the freak show would be much more profitable.

BTW, did you buy Kim's emojis? /sarc

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:43 | 6978999 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Every wankers favorite good ole boy, disingenuos at best.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 14:45 | 6979010 NoBillsOfCredit
NoBillsOfCredit's picture

Mr. Jenner can't change his biology with a knife and first name change. The world is insane.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:05 | 6979063 anachronism
anachronism's picture

The clock runs out for each of us. That is inevitable.

Time may wait for no one; but I am sure that it will stop for a second or two, when clock stops for Art Cashin.

God bless him!

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:11 | 6979071 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Dear Art,

Let me tell you about a segment of fraud you know.

 

Zillow Splits – Is Z Stock Worse Than ZG Stock?

 

So I bought a home in 2012. I have always fought Zillow to remove me from active listing of properties. Here we have Wallstreet investment company who list their phone as 206.470.7000

Zillow

1301 Second Ave Floor 31

Seattle, WA 98101

 

  1. CEO: Spencer M. Rascoff
  2. CFO: Chad M. Cohen
  3.  COO: Lloyd D. Frink

 Good luck in having anyone pick up phone. Number 4 is PR and number 5 is customer service.

 

I have a small paragraph to remove under this false property management company. Zillow doesn’t answer phone. Let me show you the shell companies.

http://www.zillowgroup.com/contact-us/

 Postlet has me under their 3rd party the advertise a place that is not available under Zillow removal. Could be more, want it removed. All off it on these property.

Have a look at Zillow Corporate office link. I’m only the property owner. Zillow is falsifying information. Read comments.

http://www.zillow.com/advice-thread/what-is-customer-service-phone-number-for-Zillow/462870/

Need your help ZH family. About to file a SEC fraud report. This is fraud in using property not open for rental to a scammer. Help me out, thanks.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:29 | 6979134 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

What is it you want us to do? Show you why Zilliow isn't an investment company or tell you " Wallstreet" is really "Wall Street" and that you sound like another Angry White Male, probably over 50 years old...?

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 16:05 | 6979273 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

A lawyer is going to lose his BAR licence within Zillow.

Look at the Zillow shell game to steal personal information to resell. Thats your problem.

Two points, the master plan and how Trump will build the wall with Mexician money. The non list third part has to do with Premix mexico oil cartel. Not listed in post. Will post during establishment exposure.

Wall Street: Anarchist Bombing

The Master Plan <------Watch

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:46 | 6979200 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Rascoff, Cohen and Frink - are you sure that's not an ambulance chasing law firm? maybe you have the wrong #

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 16:44 | 6979371 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

You expain to us. How do you explain to investors? How you fucked up in thinking you can skim millions! Grifters will be shot first, then your bosses.

We can publish who sold stock. It won't match up with calling 206.470.7000 to speak with a customer service person to list a new property within Zillow. Phones are dead, so is your ponzi scheme.

You have become a dirty scumbag collecting personal information to resell. We will hack your database to show the public all bad intentions. Stealing information! Welcome to becoming delisted. Honeypots are going to all blow up under Wallstreet. Data collect is so yesterday.

 

Fat finger mistake: 216 is Cleveland. Corrected to 206. Sorry. Now call the lovely critterers. wiinks.

 

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:25 | 6979120 stant
stant's picture

Was a good year for rebel flag sales

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:32 | 6979145 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Why not compare your rainbow fag/transgender sales figures. Let's see who won in 50 States.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 17:04 | 6979524 stant
stant's picture

Yeah , saw so many riding thru the country side .

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 21:53 | 6980444 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

LMFAO. Good sarcastic humor. Clearly to the point. Keep it up. ;)

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:27 | 6979129 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

I was so pissed off when building a new marketing profile. Found it during Christmas Day while launching short term 7 day rental to home.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 15:49 | 6979215 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

What made America great was its ability to display the Confederate flag for 150 years - while still moving forward as a society. Removing the flag, along with much more PC censorship, is contributing to the decline of America, and its subsequent end.

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 16:13 | 6979319 stant
stant's picture

White devil was fine until they got on the lawn

Wed, 12/30/2015 - 16:19 | 6979337 atomp
atomp's picture

Art's had a few good poems over the years. That one was shit.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!