Tyler Durden's picture

You know it's bad when...

But, but, but... Fed... FANGs... Decoupled... Services... Netflix... Unicorns... Cramer...


The day started badly (as China devaluation stress crushed carry trades and sucked liquidity out of the world, slamming USDJPY, US stocks, bond yields, credit, crude, and copper lower) late-day rally today!




All that hope as China lifted its circuit-breaker rule and crude briefly rallied... but stocks carnaged back to overnight lows late in the day... Another bounce into the European close then SELL MORTIMER SELL into NYMEX close


Since the start of December, it's ugly...


The NASDAQ is rapidly losing its post-QE3-End gains...


"Policy Error" Much?


"No Brainer" is down 28% from its highs...*APPLE CLOSES AT $96.45; FIRST CLOSE BELOW $100 SINCE OCT. 2014


FANTAsy stocks tumbled deep into the red for the year (yes even NFLX!!) Facebook, Amazon, Netflix, Tesla, and Alphabet... all red...


Financials caught down to credit...But just keep talking up NIM and their "no brainer"-ness


VIX pushed above 25...


VIX term structure inverted...


Credit suggests more to come..


Stocks are "getting there"...


Catching down to breadth...


Away from the excitement of stocks...

Treasury yields tumbled further (some selling pressure as CNH defense suggested China selling)...


The USD Index tumbled back into the red for the week as JPY strength continued...


USDJPY closes at 11 month lows...


Commodities split between growth and safety as PMs rallied and crude, copper crumbled...


as Gold and Silver Surged...


Charts: Bloomberg

Bonus Chart: What did you think would happen?

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PoliceThePolice's picture

The PPT had the same problem as I would have if I was looking at Janet Yellen nude, no matter what they did, they just couldn't get it up.

Soul Glow's picture

Janet's flesh wound smells horrible.  Like rotting fish.

wee-weed up's picture



"The PPT had the same problem as I would have if I was looking at Janet Yellen nude, no matter what they did, they just couldn't get it up."

Hey, let's really crash this market...Show 'em a picture of Hitlery nude!

PoliceThePolice's picture

"Hey, let's really crash this market...Show 'em a picture of Hitlery nude!"


C'mon man, thats not crashing the market, thats destroying the world. That statement gave me the piss shivers!

JungleCat's picture

The last half hour looks like a broken ramp to me.

Where is the PPT when bankstas need dem to Ramp. It. Up. A banksta's gotta bank.

Automatic Choke's picture

...the most soiled panties since Lehman!

KesselRunin12Parsecs's picture
KesselRunin12Parsecs (not verified) wee-weed up Jan 7, 2016 4:51 PM

If that skank gets elected, I predict that that after 'x' number of these past years of being force fed a steady diet of hags like Merkel, Yellen, & Clinton, fucking 'Taylor Swift' will get elected as the leader of the newly formed Republic of 'Oceania'.


I mean, FFS... Glass ceilings are one thing, but do you all have to look like 'Andre the Giant's' twin sister?

The_Juggernaut's picture

Quick, sell before the price goes back up!

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

That E-Trade baby video killed it. But it's probably way too close to the truth for the trading millennials.

Tyler, don't shelve that video. I think there will be plenty more occasions to play it in the near future. The shit-show has just begun.

stormsailor's picture

the e-trade baby playing around with a cocked sig.

glenlloyd's picture

Wtf is that behind the Markets in Turmoil text? It looks like a rabbid dog or wolf, is it supposed to be a bear?

wanderer9641's picture

Just think of the joy of looking up through the glass ceiling to hitlery and janet above you. You would go through the rest of your life knowing that things would have to get better.

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

europe's bail in legislation is now in effect. thats the last of the sheep they need past the gate. The gate can now be closed.

PPT can go home.

thesonandheir's picture


These guys have it nailed.


Jump you fuckers.

kamikun's picture

Hadn't seen that before.. thanks. Too bad there wasn't more of this in the public space back in 2007.

froze25's picture

The Fed didn't make a policy they didn't want. They want a strong dollar for the fleecing after the carnage. Strong Dollars = more buying power. Weak Emerging market currency means cheap assets to buy up with strong dollars. Its all going according to plan here.

Dr. Spin's picture

QUICK!!!  Get the can of QE and hose it down...

CheapBastard's picture

Depression and destruction of America's middle class, failed Obamacare and tearrists attacks....barry's Legacy.

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

there aint nothin barry did that wasnt firmly part of americas existing trajectory already.

LowerSlowerDelaware_LSD's picture
LowerSlowerDelaware_LSD (not verified) Squid-puppets a-go-go Jan 7, 2016 5:45 PM

Since "aint nothin" is a double negative you are saying that there is plenty that Dear Leader has done that wasn't part of America's existing trajectory.  Just say'n...

Rip van Wrinkle's picture

Well, he promised you 'change'....didn't he?? Good luck with the 'hopey' bit.

SilverDOG's picture

Strong dollar, cheap assets, 34% unemployment, & millions of default property



Reichstag Fire Dept.'s picture

Buy the whole world?  ...didn't Japan try that once? As I recall, a lot of American businessmen were trying to learn Japanese at one point.

stormsailor's picture

worst case scenario,  a xxx lesbian porn of the two above named.

VegasBob's picture

Good Gawd! My dick and balls shriveled up so much at the thought of a nude Hitlery that I might be mistaken for a eunuch.

zeroaccountability's picture
zeroaccountability (not verified) VegasBob Jan 7, 2016 4:56 PM


(Nasty nasty picture)

TeamDepends's picture

"•do NOT contact me with unsolicited offers or services"
Nope, definitely not Hillary.

Nobody For President's picture

Hitllery nude?


Bad boy!

Bad thoght!

I don't mind a crash, but I don't want it to go to zero.

I mean, if Bill is gonna go after something as skanky as Monica, the mind boggles at how bad Hitlery has gotta be...

Bay of Pigs's picture

Something else stinks around here too...

A federal govt and central bank that has lost its legitimacy.

Fidel Sarcastro's picture

Crushed it today. Time for drinks and a Montecristo now. Can't wait for the Unenjoyment # b4 the open tomorrow. 

mandalou's picture

You beat me to it. Payrolls will be interesting to say the least.

mandalou's picture

Watch what stinks when payrolls are released tomorrow morning. Do they cook the numbers big time or continue controlled demo? Personally i will watch the peep show and put in my 2 cents from time to time.

Pooper Popper's picture

This isnt bad,,,,Try getting dressed in a closet with a pocket full of change......Thats bad

two hoots's picture

A blood granny/hor bath.

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

We had just reached lift off but then NK tested that H-bomb! Never mind the market collapsed on Monday as well, forget that little tid bit.  


+400 on Friday

Bunghole's picture

He's proud of being able to beat up on retards.

Next he'll troll the AARP website because the little old ladies make easy targets too.

Soul Glow's picture

+400 everyday this week.  You have either lost your whole book by now or have so many stop losses your head hurts.  EIther way, your advice is laughable.

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

LOL dude I'm being saracstic. It's a running joke now. I have had nothing in the markets for years now. It was not meant to be advice, gee I hope nobody actually saw it as that. LOL

Soul Glow's picture

And here I thought you were Greg Manerino.

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

So far Greg has been wrong, but his overall prediction is going to be proven correct. Market crash with eventual dollar crisis.