We Are All Unicorn-Hunters Now
When faith in the American Dream of hard-work-leading-to-success is crushed by the tyrannical over-reach of an ever-expanding government footprint and centrally-planned wealth redistribution, there is only one thing for "average joes" to do... jump on the ultimate "get rich quick" scheme.
Americans have never piled so much money into such a long-shot as The Powerball lottery hits a stunning $1.4 billion payout - making everyone a unicorn hunter now...
Jackpot for Wednesday's Powerball drawing rises to $1.4 billion with $867.9 million cash value
And the key to success, according to Fox:
So go ahead - make that 1 in 292,000,000 bet - and good luck. Just don't forget: a lottery is just a clever way for the government to tax you.
(18 votes)
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Like a coin,
I was tossed into a wishing fountain,
I was only one of a thousand,
looking for a little fortune.
And you, picked me up and put me into your pocket,
Nothing I could do to stop it,
It started out full of promise.
The shimmer of the shine that I'd never seen before.
Demokracy at finest - pillage the fortune of common man by addictive enticement of false promise for big pay and skim proceed for personal enrichment of elite class.
When I win it, every one of you sons of bitches gets a gold coin, and that ain't the foil covered chocolates either. Yes, even the down voters.
The DOW looks almost like it's trading like a... well, like a market today. Wonder if TPTB have just decided to put this thing out to pasture?
Think of how many hours of work that 1.4B represents.
The Fed steals it every day with the press.
RIPS
I know the FSA spends their food money on tickets...
Just make my gold coin a Maple, I will never talk shit about you ever again.
Prob just get an IOU form the Power ball peeps, anyway. Does make me laugh that a lottery winner could crash the Crimex tho.
I would do like Sampson and bring the roof down upon those bitches!
I have these crazy ideas of breaking the CRIMEX silver market if I win. And I'd hand out a roll of Maple Leafs or ASEs to all of you. (Choose the Maples, there are 25 of them in a Canadian roll. Is that why the Loonie is at 0.7 to the USD?)
Seriously, if Ol' Yellen would just hand out the $870 million cash value of the prize to each of us, we could really get this deflation story to go away. I hear Bennie has a helicopter for just this purpose.
if I win, can I get a unicorn instead of a lump sum?
I would blow it on a million dollar super car and cocaine. Then promptly crash the car with all of the cocaine in the passenger seat.
now thats ambition. I like your style. My only change I would make is that thee is no mention of prostitutes.
I'd spend half on hookers and blow. The rest I'd squander.
You're this guy :)
Please, whoever wins it, but $867M in silver and bring this manipulation to a halt.
That's my plan.
Can you imagine the roadblocks/threats/fabrications that would be rolled-out if the winner actually tried this? They'd be 'disappeared' and treated worse than a whistleblower!
That's my plan. I'll let you all know ahead of time though.
pepole in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
The Lottery--Shirley Jacksonhttps://sites.middlebury.edu/individualandthesociety/files/2010/09/jacks...
bring this manipulation to a halt.
About 4,000 of these. FREE shipping included.
Hillary would want a bigger cut. News breaking that she wants a NEW tax of 4% for incomes over $5 million.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/hillary-clinton-calls-for-4-surcharge-o...
Sure. Sure.
I read that first sentence wrong.
I was like, why would she want a bigger one?
Janet Reno's and Huma's are too small.
Oh man, I laughed my ass off!
.... then I thought about it and threw up a little. :)
ZH vow to do this if any of us wins
Sorry, my 2 bucks gives me as good a chance as anyone else, like they say gotta play to win!
From 1984:
...They were talking about the Lottery. Winston looked back when he had
gone thirty metres. They were still arguing, with vivid, passionate
faces. The Lottery, with its weekly pay-out of enormous prizes, was the
one public event to which the proles paid serious attention. It was
probable that there were some millions of proles for whom the Lottery
was the principal if not the only reason for remaining alive. It was
their delight, their folly, their anodyne, their intellectual stimulant.
Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could barely read and
write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of
memory. There was a whole tribe of men who made a living simply by
selling systems, forecasts, and lucky amulets. Winston had nothing to do
with the running of the Lottery, which was managed by the Ministry of
Plenty, but he was aware (indeed everyone in the party was aware) that
the prizes were largely imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid
out, the winners of the big prizes being non-existent persons. In the
absence of any real inter-communication between one part of Oceania and
another, this was not difficult to arrange....
I actually logged in just to upvote this.
My girl surprised me by buying 1984 the other day; it's not required reading in EU, but she liked Animal Farm.
She's in for some treat. After she reads 1984 I think she's ready for me to show her the ZH Fight Club.
Can't use EBT for tickets...
Hahaha, not so much. Look at the 3:30 spike today.
3:17 actually, but good point. The PPT is slipping, missing the 3:30 ramp time by a premature 13 minutes, and ejaculating emini futures all over the floor.
Someone should calculate the odds of making $1M from the 3:30 ramp with 1:50 leverage on a $1000 bet, playing it every day for one year VS the lottery.
Boris is give you extra up vote for two coin.
Mr Slippery Johnson please I want chocolate too in addition to gold coin.
That's good capitalism there, put your vote up for sale.
I'll spend $10. Big F'N deal
I was thinking. If I won I would pay to get some douche lobbyist to make term limits happen. How much do you think that would cost? Also, a favorite quote from 1984
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/450335-the-lottery-with-its-weekly-pay-o...
Term limits? I'd pay to throw ALL THE LOBBYISTS OUT of the Capitol Building! (One hand, back of collar, one by seat of pants... HA!)
As for playing the lottery ... in general?
It's simply a Tax on "stupid."
)
Term limits? I'd pay to throw ALL THE LOBBYISTS OUT of the Capitol Building! (One hand, back of collar, one by seat of pants... HA!)
As for playing the lottery (in general? = Tax on Stupid.
If you had 350 million on hand you could buy every possible number combination and be guaranteed to win the1.4 billion. I bet that there is already a handful of lotto investment groups working on that idea.
Grand Prize
1 in 292,201,338.00
$1,000,000
1 in 11,688,053.52
$50,000
1 in 913,129.18
$100
1 in 36,525.17
$100
1 in 14,494.11
$7
1 in 579.76
$7
1 in 701.33
$4
1 in 91.98
$4
1 in 38.32
Thanks for the math. Oh, by the way can I have a loan?
except there's a good chance you'd have to split it with other winners which would dilute your pile, . . . then there's ole Uncle Sam , with his fucking hand out also !
Damn straight.
The thing is lottery's are also a litmus test both examining the psychological mind set of a society and inflation. Lottery prizes measure desperation with people that work for a living since somehow the 1 to 294 million odds against winning doesn't deter anyone from buying a ticket. It means there are enough people feeling poor to drive a single lottery up to 1.4 billion dollars.
Why is it an indicator of inflation and economic collapse?
It's obviously cheaper buying a lottery ticket than food. When a lottery exceeds X amount of a country's GDP it's a really good indication they are in deep shit. In rome they did the bread and circuses thing as their gold and silver became thinner and thinner. Everyone had 'lots' of money but couldn't by anything useful, except a 'cheap' chance at a game of chance. A troy ounce became closer to a troy 1/18th if dealing in Denarii. But while that debasement was going on there were loads and loads of games that were increasing in popularity. Keno, which is a very basic form of lottery, was a popular game funded and managed by the governments then, more specifically during August Julius Caesars time is when it started.
See the romans were actually pretty good book keepers given the opportunities there, especially the government bookkeepers. (where the term bean counter comes from btw) They knew they were fucked financially with the constant expansion of Rome and they needed to keep money local and narrow the trade imbalance that always comes with disorganised and political expansion by battle field. The roman empire invented their own destruction and the biggest facility before Ancient Rome shit the bed for government coffers that helped pound nails into Rome's coffin faster. The lottery.
They would crank out tickets and offer 'grand prizes' which really weren't that grand. Government made a fortune with it, literally built the Colosseum and renovated 70% of the city of Rome. Problem is it also accelerated the inflation in Rome and their expansion efforts which weren't exactly looked on fondly by anyone they were invading. The problem then was there was too much money floating around, prices went insane, everything tripled and doubled. Denarii got skinner. People felt poorer as the price of everything went bananas...and of course bought more lottery tickets, thereby pushing the Roman economy over the cliff faster. It's well repeated cycle that helped destroy France twice, England four times, the USA once, Austria once, China six times....anycase. Lotteries are an indication of other things when they get big.
Grab the popcorn, it's going to get interesting.
I dont play because I would dred what would happen if I did win. I like my life as it is. Too much money is sometimes worse than not enough.
You can still live your life the same, you would just have an assload of cash under your mattress.
As for myself, it would be hookers and blow for as far as the eye can see.
Oh you are kidding right? Half a billion after taxes and nothing changes? SUUUUUUURRRRR tell me another one.
Change my looks, my name and buy the Viagra division from its owner.
I have 3 children all married all on the hamster wheel ALL parents and all just getting by because they have to pull together and combine effort to keep things afloat. So now dad has half a bill and here is the deal, IF I dont give them a couple mil each and make their lives comfortable. I am an asshole and will never be spoken to again and on the other hand IF I give them a couple mil each, the divorces come down and my grandchildren all become fvktards from broken families caught in court battles and hatred.
For sure, I can appreciate what you mean. But all I'm saying is, "Dad? Dad who? My name is Harvey, and this is my Swedish wife Inger"
Lol and nothing changed... My big hope is my wife stays alive for one more year so i can get some of that SS money the suckfvks stole from me.
More money, more problems. I just had a fascinating conversation with a powerball expert who knows how the ultra rich live this truth yet, she still is going to continue to blow money on powerball. She is probably looked at as the sane person and I'm the crank. Strange times we're living in.