We Are All Unicorn-Hunters Now

When faith in the American Dream of hard-work-leading-to-success is crushed by the tyrannical over-reach of an ever-expanding government footprint and centrally-planned wealth redistribution, there is only one thing for "average joes" to do... jump on the ultimate "get rich quick" scheme.

Americans have never piled so much money into such a long-shot as The Powerball lottery hits a stunning $1.4 billion payout - making everyone a unicorn hunter now...

Jackpot for Wednesday's Powerball drawing rises to $1.4 billion with $867.9 million cash value

And the key to success, according to Fox:

So go ahead - make that 1 in 292,000,000 bet - and good luck. Just don't forget: a lottery is just a clever way for the government to tax you.

Comments

[Skateboarder]

Epic comment from an unfortunate situation.

You should totally buy a shitload of silver, bury it somewhere abroad, prefereably on an island [that only appears for a few seconds when the moon is green], and leave an intricate treasure hunt for the grandchildren. Tell the parents that when the kids are 18, they get are to embark on a treasure quest, and it will be the most epic shit ever - so better hold your marriages together. Leave the first clue with someone you trust (and know will live to see your grandkids at 18). Best present ever - thanks Grandpa!

[detached.amusement]

lol....I would give away 99% and disappear

provided I wasnt disappeared first

[BlindMonkey]

I will buy my way into Davos if I win.  I will take pictures of the bald guy with the white cat and post it here.

[SoilMyselfRotten]

Hope you're up to that whole have sex with children thing in order to get accepted in that club.

[BlindMonkey]

That isn't my normal thing but you do what you have to do to kiss the ring of Spectre.

[BlindMonkey]

OK downvoters.  Do you not understand the implied /sarc??

[indio007]

HAIL HYDRA!

[savedeposit]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxM8Kf5SeiA

[TheDanimal]

I will hold it for quite sometime, if anyone tries to take it from me, god help them.

[Badsamm]

Thank you

[I am a Man I am...]

I piss away money all of the time and this is the only with a 1 and several hundren million chance of making me wildiy rich.

[ThanksChump]

Thanks, Silky.

[dochood]

Yes!  Add me to your list!

Now, if I can just get another 292,000,000 American lottery ticket buyers to promise me the same thing!

[savedeposit]

When I WIn it I spend it on COMEX and see what happens !

[American Psycho]

I'll generously buy a limited edition Wu Tang Clan  CD and send it to a lucky ZHer.  Oh yea I forgot, I don't play the lottery. 

[imbtween]

“The Lottery, with its weekly pay-out of enormous prizes, was the one public event to which the proles paid serious attention. It was probable that there were some millions of proles for whom the Lottery was the principal if not the only reason for remaining alive. It was their delight, their folly, their anodyne, their intellectual stimulant. Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could barely read and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of memory. There was a whole tribe of men who made their living simply by selling systems, forecasts, and lucky amulets. Winston had nothing to do with the Lottery, which was managed by the Ministry of Plenty, but he was aware (indeed everyone in the party was aware) that the prizes were largely imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid out, the winners of the big prizes being nonexistent persons.”

[Hitlery_4_Dictator]

I am a real american. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJfU1z5Revs&list=PLEB62A95CB8D0705C&inde...

[Jurgster]

The economy is so bad that they had to resort to his obvious manipulation of the Powerball to get it to Billion$. Well, that's what happens When Money is the Problem >> http://wp.me/p4OZ4v-2GY

[BlueStreet]

21st century retirement plan.

[JRobby]

Fox: buy as many tickets as you can afford (definition of "afford" in present day USSA: max out cash advances, sell shit, borrow, steal)

The bigger it gets, the more GOV keeps. Lets hit those terminals hard this week sheepsters!!!

[Uchtdorf]

Got a clunker of a car? Well, then get a title loan and increase your chance of winning!

[Boris Alatovkrap]

You are sell transportation for addiction of gambler? Maybe you are seek help from two step program, no? 

[JRobby]

Yoda! Are you drinking again?

[Umh]

Funny, evil and funny.

[Dapper Dan]

15 19 29 33 60 68 pb 04

I have just posted the powerball winning number, you are welcome !

_{I am going to play this #}

[Hohum]

Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do.

[fedupwhiteguy]

yeah.. db died today. we're all getting a little closer to the end.

[38BWD22]

How else am I going to fund my retirement???

Stockmarket?  Please...

[NoDebt]

What?  You don't wanna keel over at your desk at age 80 trying to get out that last invoice for Chinese-made bearings?

Me, personally, I forcibly removed all thoughts about this "retirement" thing from my head years ago.  I'll be too busy foraging for food in the woods to have time for retirement.

[More Ammo]

Let's just hope there are still woods to forage in...

[flaminratzazz]

We will all be Bundys.

[JRobby]

Nuclear Winter, no woods

[KnuckleDragger-X]

I prefer my state lottery where my chances are as good as being struck by lightning.... ;-)

[Boris Alatovkrap]

Boris is prefer strike by lightning than is false promise of unwarranted gift from state.

[SoilMyselfRotten]

Yeah Knuckles it's the 'getting attacked by a Great White' on the same day that hurts.

[JustObserving]

Odds of winning the Powerball lottery 1 in 292.2 million or 1 in 292,200,000

Odd of being hit by lightning in the US in any given year 1 in 960,000

Odds of being hit by lightning in your lifetime in US 1 in 12,000

[More Ammo]

Are those odds still good if you live in Florida?

[krispkritter]

I live in Florida and have almost been hit by lightning twice.  Do I get better odds?

/s

[Automatic Choke]

no, but please stop playing golf when it is raining.

[krispkritter]

But there's nobody else on the greens!!! 

Reminds me of that scene from Caddyshack now...

[Silky Johnson]

I heard the odds are similar to being hit by lighting......while participating in a threesome with Hillary and Trump!

[pods]

And being attacked by a shark wearing a laser beam.

[krispkritter]

I'd rather get eaten by the shark than have the threesome...yechh.

[chunga]

I got hit by lightning nine years ago and all I won was a trip straight to the hospital.

[Lumberjack]

I know the feeling... I will use this technique and buy 2 tickets based on the results.  Hire a trustworthy consultant and immediately convert that check into 3 certain currencies and proceed to acquire land in 3 different countries then quietly disappe...

[pods]

I hope there is an Alpaca involved in that plan.

-Simon

[Lumberjack]

I know some people who have a mid-sized farm that raise Alpaca's. I bought several pair of alpaca wool socks and are the best socks I ever owned. The animals are quite docile, very intelligent and cute as hell too.

[Lumberjack]

dup

[Lumberjack]

That and maybe some fishing too,

http://flywatertravel.com/userfiles/image/martinp.jpg

http://www.atacpatagonia.com/chile_argentina/l/argentina-patagonia.jpg

[chunga]

If you win don't forget about me bro. Actually I confess that we threw 10 dollahs at it. If we win just one thing we're gonna buy is a whole mountain...and we'll build a Zero Hedge Lounge on top. (members only and yes, captcha to get in) If that happens we'll need you down here lol.