We Are All Unicorn-Hunters Now
When faith in the American Dream of hard-work-leading-to-success is crushed by the tyrannical over-reach of an ever-expanding government footprint and centrally-planned wealth redistribution, there is only one thing for "average joes" to do... jump on the ultimate "get rich quick" scheme.
Americans have never piled so much money into such a long-shot as The Powerball lottery hits a stunning $1.4 billion payout - making everyone a unicorn hunter now...
Jackpot for Wednesday's Powerball drawing rises to $1.4 billion with $867.9 million cash value
And the key to success, according to Fox:
So go ahead - make that 1 in 292,000,000 bet - and good luck. Just don't forget: a lottery is just a clever way for the government to tax you.
(18 votes)
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If I'm not mistaken, it was Mr. Lennon Hendrix, who started the crash JPM program by buying silver. And again, if I'm not mistaken, he has since passed. But it's good to see that there is an afterlife and that his "soul is still glowing." Lennon, think you can help me out with those power ball numbers?
At what cash value does it become conceivable to buy one ticket for every possible numerical permutation?
it depends if there are any other winners. however, if you spent $300M on tickets you would "only" double or triple your money. Besides, if some rich maggot did that there would be a serious fucking backlash.
it's like 292 million? The lotto funds used to try and buy tickets w/ their clients' money - only problem is that you can't be sure you're the sole winner: hitting on a lotto that's split 2-3 ways really screws things up.
Americans are fucking idiots. Trust me, I know. I live here.
Yeah.. I have trouble going outside,
agoraphobic much? me too, go out to the doghouse in the woods as often as I can...
Yeah, me too. I run into commerical radio, sports on TV, and network broadcasts, and the worst: all the people who consume it and beleive it all. USA, USA!
People yelling "we won we won" from a football game being played 2000 miles away.
"Buy as many tickets as you can afford"
LMAO !!
This is my best idea for a 700mil X return in the next few days.
If I win, I'll go all in on the "market"...because BTFD...right?
I hope the winner is not from Illinois...they only get an IOU....but it does destroy your life..a guy wrote a book on lottery winners...and most went bankrupt and their families all broke up...hated each other....
I hate most of my family now. If there were to go away, life would be paradise.
Standard Disclaimer: With that kind of money, I suppose I can set up a "Ten Little Niggers" scenario on an island somewhere.
My apologies to Agathie Christie when I inform the fedgov that there are terrorists on that island, and they are taken out by a drone strike.
if the odds are 1:292,000,000 and the aftertax payoff is about $560,000,000 as odd as it seems, thats a good bet. the 'expected payoff' (odds of winning x payoff) or expected return, is greater than the odds. while the odds remain the same, the payoff is, theorectically worth it.
80% of all combinations should be played before the next drawing, so you have to plan on splitting your winning in half right off the bat. I've made peace with that.
That last sentence really made me laugh.
I think the tickets are $2 each.
I love the deeply insightful strategy offered by Fox News.
Nothing wrong with keeping it simple for your simple viewers.
Probably a scam like it was in Orwell's 1984 - The eventual 'winner' will be a Zionist/Jew with an 'undisclosed' identity ! The money will be used to kill a few more muslims !
Very sceptical about this,especially when US foreign policy 'mirrors' Orwell's 1984 verbatim !
“The Lottery, with its weekly pay-out of enormous prizes, was the one public event to which the proles paid serious attention. It was probable that there were some millions of proles for whom the Lottery was the principal if not the only reason for remaining alive. It was their delight, their folly, their anodyne, their intellectual stimulant. Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could barely read and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of memory. There was a whole tribe of men who made their living simply by selling systems, forecasts, and lucky amulets. Winston had nothing to do with the Lottery, which was managed by the Ministry of Plenty, but he was aware (indeed everyone in the party was aware) that the prizes were largely imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid out, the winners of the big prizes being nonexistent persons.” (From 1984 Part I Chapter 8, George Orwell)
odds of winning are 1:290m? that sounds like another way of saying odds of losing are less that 1 which unless goldman's found a way to rig lottery drawings (I'm sure they have their best minds on it!) sounds better than a lot of the alternatives...
I knew a person who won 34 million Powerball back in I belive 96
Mike Mascari
No shit he was a poor ass fuck who had green teeth...he was a mule at a seafood stand called Dockside Seafood..
This fuck never had 2 nickels to rub ...there was a Chinese food joint next door ..someone had bought him a lunch and he played the Powerball with a fortune cookie number!and fucking one!
Of couses that nigga conveniently forgot all the beers,cigarettes ...lunches that people bought him through the years
Funny thing I saw him like 12 years later with full on Mr T gold and that fuck did nuy him teeth
Full set of Kip Winger Whites...that fuck had the nerve to start about how taxes... blah blah. ..I said nigga please you ain't had shit!
What the FUCK did you just say?
He knows a dumbfuck who won.
The Kip Winger teeth refernnenence LMAO
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Some trailer trash or inner city dindu will win. Then they will be in the Smoking Gun headlines for a year or so until they die.
It'll be some little old lady who is then slowly stolen from by her friends and family as per usual, until she dies and gives the rest to Pat Robertson.
I heard that our chances of winning the lottery would be a lot better if we bought tickets... (LOL) But not after that IOU BS.
If one group can get away with issuing IOUs, any of them can, at any time.
Lotteries: A tax on the stupid.
Gambling's fun as long as you have money, even I play poker with friends. But the lottery? A stupid tax in my respective opinion. Especially now that states are starting to handout IOU notes instead of hard cash.
Thought to be fair, we've so overegualted and taxed ourselves to death through inflation that the old saying, "The only way to increase wealth is to save save save," and Einstein's “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ... he who doesn't ... pays it.” Doesn't have the same kick that they used to.
On the other hand perhpas the old geezer's still got a point. If you increase government and allow banksters to hold a monopoly of money they will lower interest to the point where there is no point in saving.
Win Lottery...Break the Comex.
I like the Shirley Jackson version
The pot will get split 5-6 ways...guarantee it.
Hell it gets over $400m And there's rarely a sole winner,maybe it'll be lucky and all tickets will be bought by pools of 20 people...$1.4b split 100 ways+taxes
have fun.
Doubt 5-6. They lessened the odds to produce higher jackpots, means fewer winners. 1-3 winners likely.
It is the number of people who will be playing this draw that makes your prediction of 1-3 winning tickets correct, while the expected number of winning tickets on a typical draw is zero. Only a small fraction of the 292 million potential combinations are covered on the typical draw.
If I were you, I'd never start an insurance company with your math skills. For there to be five winning tickets, there likely would have to be approximately 1.4 billion tickets sold for this draw, as there are 292 million different possible number combinations. Now if a number happens to be drawn which loads of people choose to play (generally a draw with lots of low numbers in it) it is possible there could be five winning tickets. But it is not likely, and guaranteeing it would be a one-way ticket to the poorhouse.
I plan on buying the Seattle Mariners...
I'm in for $10
If I win, I'll fight hardest to avoid being publicly identified. Only my attorney would know.
Part of the agreement for accepting winnings in most states is that you must make it public. It is a publicity stunt. No face, no money. It's all part of their plan to keep the jackpots going up and up and up.
Of the 44 states you can buy a PowerBall ticket, you may only elect to stay anonymous in: Delaware, Kansas, Maryland, North Dakota, Ohio and South Carolina.
You can set up a trust with a good tax attorney and the "trust" can win. In California they will release and name and a city of residence. If you have a common name, send it to your lawyers office 2 cities over. If you live in big poputation land - In a big metro area, I think you could hide it somewhat. If you live in the sticks, a good tax attorney is going to be in the big city anyway. Just don't spend it like a drunken sailor / be N Word Rich. Then the people you know, know.
I have a plan, now I just have to beat the incredible odds.
You won't win. If you do, you'll never see a cent of the money.
Prizes this large are never actually paid out. The jackpot winners in the publicity shoots are actors.
Ill buy one and one only...
So on April 15th we can all send a 2 dollar ticket to the government and mark the Form, Refund Due.
I dont play, but what ever you do... if you win take the full payout! Dont trust them to make payments..eventually youll get an IOU! Just like ILLONIOS! REMEMBER! Take it while they got it! Tell them to SHOW YOU THE MONEY!
Damn the odds of winning $4 is 36-1. That's shameful especially becuase the tickets are $2. That's like a single number in roulette payig out as a black or red bet.
You don't need any more proof than this that the shit is about to hit the fan financially. People will look back on this as we do on houses that tripled in value in a year or two pre-housing market crash.
Treasure Bath!!! (Dom DeLuise)
It might be a form of tax, but at least I might possibly get something in return; .gov just screws me and demands more.
Ah, yes, the stupid tax!
I understand if you get $1 worth of enjoyment out of getting a ticket and watching the numbers come up, but the fuckers that plan their retirement around winning the lottery are insane.
Is Illinois still issuing IOU's for lottery winners?