We Are All Unicorn-Hunters Now
When faith in the American Dream of hard-work-leading-to-success is crushed by the tyrannical over-reach of an ever-expanding government footprint and centrally-planned wealth redistribution, there is only one thing for "average joes" to do... jump on the ultimate "get rich quick" scheme.
Americans have never piled so much money into such a long-shot as The Powerball lottery hits a stunning $1.4 billion payout - making everyone a unicorn hunter now...
Jackpot for Wednesday's Powerball drawing rises to $1.4 billion with $867.9 million cash value
And the key to success, according to Fox:
So go ahead - make that 1 in 292,000,000 bet - and good luck. Just don't forget: a lottery is just a clever way for the government to tax you.
(18 votes)
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Janet is going to buy $2 Billion worth to try to turn a profit
After taxes you would only get about 700 million. And that would only buy you a 10 minute meeting with Hillary!
gross...
If I won I would get a giant cock implant so i could go beat Janet Reno to death with it.
If I didn't know someone who won the New York State Lottery for $10 million I wouldn't play it, no matter what my brother-in-law CPA tells me. He's really good with numbers and is fond of saying your chances of winning the lottery are about the same whether you buy a ticket or not.
The awful truth is that most lottery prizes exceeding five figures are never paid out. The reported winners are fictitious.
Anybody managing to win fair and square can expect some excuse to be trumped up as to why he can't have the money.
You picqued my interest. You have any background or sourcing for that?
Like Mr Grits n Gravy said upon winning the World Series of Dice, I'd spend it on a house for my mom, the rest on PCP.
My bookie only takes 10% on my losses and our office sqaures pools are 100% paid out. Leave it to gubbermint to create the biggest gambling scam in history.
I felt like I won the lottery when the shoes I bought online fit.
First decision after winning a 1.4 bil lottery: Find a way to buy and stash at least $ 200 million in physical gold and silver, after all
Zimbabwe prints 1 trillion dollar bills.
Our factory pooled $300 and won $20. Here's another $5 to make sure government workers can still retire at 55 making 6 figures doing nothing!
When I was a factory worker this was the main communal pasttime as well. I was a bit of a pariah for not participating.
The first thing upon winning is to hire a construction company. The wall goes up first. The moat goes in second.
The third thing that goes in are the crocodiles and alligators...
Standard Disclaimer: And by the way, piss on the kids. (There are reasons for this, too lengthy to go into)
Amazing how they keep popping out balls somehow not picked. Amazing how the government's take from this keeps growing exponentially.
If you're really lucky, they'll pull and IL on you and give you a bunch of IOUs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GSXbgfKFWg
1.4 billion? Ho hum, should be equal to the federal debt in a few more turns.
In today's important news...squirrel
Sitting there, just waiting to fuck someone's life up.
Sports radio today said the Detroit Lions winning the next 10 consecutive Super Bowls are better odds than winning this PowerBall drawing.
Go Lions!
so if i spend 600 million on tickets. my chances should be nearly 100% of winning. at 900 million cash payout this seems almost like a shure thing for one of the hedge funds right?
I just wanna find out if it's true that money can't solve all my problems...
Way too much for a prole. This is Hunger Games -level desperation on the part of Dear Leaders imo. Next year, TWO billion and so on.
Can I please have a conversation today, where no one brings up the lottery? It's some dystopic shit for sure.
Only people who cannot do math play the lotteries. They've also apparently forgot about the powerball cheating scandal of, I believe, 2010. You know, where the guy working for the lotto goes in and buys the winning ticket, it having been conveniently set aside just waiting for him? Yeah, go play the lottery. Unless you can do math.
First thing if you win. Hire a lawyer.
Open an account in the Seychelles. Wire transfer all the cash to that acc't the instant you have it.
Get to the Seychelles, buy a passport and citizenship, renounce US citizenship.
That'll save you all the taxes and get you a fresh start away from all the insanity.
Then buy a zeppelin. Cuz zepps are cool.
no one is forcing you to go and buy a ticket...if you dream, government will tax it.
I'm in when it gets to a Trillion
They'll pay out a single platinum coin.
Got a 600 million change....
Quick, here is the sure way to get rich quick....
spend that penurious circa 600 million and get every possible number of lottery...
and wait to collect that 1.4 billion payout....
The only risk is that someone else might also hit the winning number.....
Better odds of being struck by lightning. I never play, but I did buy 5 QP today and got a 007 power ball 3 times, what did I win? Storm is brewing, I think I'll go play a couple rounds of GOLF, wish me luck.
The odds of being struck by lightning in a thunderstorm are about 1 in 7000.
Powerball: 1 in 292,000,000.
Yes, you have better odds of being struck by lightning. By orders of magnitude better odds.
Hmmn. If I won...
As long as we are engaging in a pure fantasy of speculation:
I would use some portion of the $500 million cash payout to bribe all the gaurds at Fort Knox to call in sick on the same day.
I would use the Gold I stole, er liberated, to back an alternative blockchain where 1 virtual coin = 1 oz of gold.
I would offer 1/4 of the gold in Fort Knox as collateral for payment for patriotic ex military types wanting to join the new American Confederacy.
I would ask those rough and tumble military types to seize a single nuclear silo with enough nuclear firepower to disuade any foolish attempts by the North to repeat the atrocities they committed against the South in 1865.
I would place the remaining 3/4 of the Gold in escrow for the new republic of Texas and all the other states who would like to go back to a Confederacy and disband the ties they have with the Tyrants in Washington.
And then I would disappear, with nothing but the clothes on my back, returning again to my own little neck of the woods, free for the very first time in my life, to live out whatever remaining days I have in the company of other free men.
There is a big problem with that plan, there arn't no gold at fort knox anymore.
You have an excellent point.
My bet is the gold is still there, but the paper ownership has been legally rehypothecated six hundred ways from Christmas.
Still, it would be nice to finally know one way or another.
And this is all just fantasy...
The odds of the winning ticked blowing out of nowhere and landing in your hand are only slightly more remote than buying a winning ticket. Standing outside on a windy day is cheaper.
This really should called The Idiot Tax instead of Powerball.
Best line I ever heard about lottery was back when Texas was passing the original law a crusty old oilfield driller told me it was the best thing ever. I asked him why he thought that and he said "they've finally figured out how to tax stupidity"
Ahh throw a few bucks at it.
Skip a meal out.
Live like a sheeple for a few days.
It feels kinda good
i'm buying for a chance to exact revenge for 2007/2008
If I won, I would start my antanctic colony. by building a huge geodesic dome on one of the islands off the unclaimed potion of Antactica, (that would fuction as a huge greenhouse to allow indoor agiculture.)
I would then declare it a free republic open to everyone that desires nothing but freedom.
They would freely throw rocks in your glass utopia.
So if there's a 1:300million chance to win @ $2 per ticket, then $600M will cover all permutations. If the jackpot is $1.4Billion, then there's a fair chance a global syndicate will take a punt, but if there are multiple winners, they lose.
After taxes it would be a wash.
A la dumb and dumber-
So you're saying there's a chance....?
Not for me. I could get 4 rounds of .556 for that lottery ticket price and re-sell them on the black market in two years. I like my upside better..
As fast as this government is falling apart, it will be just like Illinois and offer you an IOU
Spend $2.00 and have a 1 in 292 million or spend a $100 and have a 1 in 292 million. I wonder if the winner(s) get IOU's?!
The best thing to do if you did win is to divest the USD connection ASAP.
We live in a cartoon.
You have to look at the risk to reward ratio...
Odds = 1 in 292,201,338.00
That means when the prize hits 292,201,338 or greater, then it's "worth" $1. So for the powerball, when the cash prize is around 600,000,000 or greater, then it's actually worth it to buy ONE ticket.
I'm a Canadian so if I win I won't have to pay any taxes.
But in Washington state, our lottery is for the children.