SLuMLoRD HaTHaWaY...

Submitted by williambanzai7 on 01/14/2016 10:01 -0500

Average:

Your rating: None Average: 5 (34 votes)

- advertisements -

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 08:06 | 7049810 overmedicatedun...

some people just need kill'in. josey wales.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 01:04 | 7049336 robnume

Lovely to look at, yet again, WB VII! And double kudos for luring out our bud. Janus.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 05:33 | 7049602 janus

you've briefly made my day, Robnume.

but since i took an extra day or so off this week to celebrate my space, i now have to pay for it with some grueling shifts.

after one more cup of coffee, i'm off for at least 16 hours straight in a car. i should probably start popping tylenol now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zul4Ln-0md0

thanks again,

janus

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 23:35 | 7049185 Kagemusho

On 9/11, Buffet and his plutocratic buddies were whisked by the US military from their Colorado Springs golf course to the safety of NORAD, while the rest of us were left to face whatever would happen. Now, just what importance to the nation's security does Warren Buffet have? Did he own a piece of Cheyenne Mountain?

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 23:31 | 7049175 Kagemusho

Trailer Park Boys...all grown up, eh?

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 21:17 | 7048786 toadold

And here I thought , "Mutual of Omaha" refered to an insurance company.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 20:43 | 7048680 JenkinsLane

You never fail Bill, kudos.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 19:04 | 7048303 OldTrooper

Of course, if we're talking trailer parks, then these are a must see:

https://www.youtube.com/user/tpbSwearNet

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:35 | 7047865 besnook

you've got to give buffet credit for selling trailers to black people. when i first moved south i asked the black people i knew why black people didn't live in trailers. they said they blow away and burn up or both. they couldn't understand why white trash liked them so much.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:34 | 7047860 Intoxicologist

I don't see a train engulfed in flames in the background, but the setting probably isn't Wisconsin. Warren hates Wisconnie.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:28 | 7047830 janus

as was the other day mentioned, janus has seized control of the basement apartment. it was a coup both heroic and deserving of banner spangled celebrations.

the view is incredible -- on a moontide the water comes right up to the lip of the back porch. most of all, and after such a long span of time being jammed-up with so many people undertoe, it's so nice to have some quiet and space. i wouldn't bring this up again except that there happens to be an odd tie-in to mr. buffett.

my mother-in-law is something of a pack-rat. the most useless and tacky bric-a-brac is by her amassed; and these things, having been with her for a while, take on a sentimental value that is difficult for the average person to assess. janus is not the average person. he can, after gathering all that flotsam & jetsam together in a pile, give it a quick scan and come back with a dollar value that will always be correct +/- $1.00. in the case of all my mother in law's detritus, i calculated the net worth of it all to be 17 cents.

after bundling it all together and dropping the several bags over the fence into my neighbor's yard, i put together a sentimental cajun crap disposal bill for my mother in law and forwarded it on to california...first class postage.

i then stumbled upon some boxes left behind by the former tenant. guys, this was a fascinating few hours of financial forensics.

one of the more amusing bits found within these reams of fraud was his 'letter to investors', dated june 2009. allow me to explain: this property's former tenant fancied himself the next warren buffett. he for a while went about building an investment portfolio and recruiting clients with one view in mind: be warren buffett. a comparison restated a thousand different ways and pried into almost every paragraph of the five or six such letters i discovered.

the opening line from his 2009 letter begins (and i'm not joking), "boh-yahh!!!"

obviously, in addition to his admiration for all things hathaway, the former tenant was an acolyte of jim cramer and had enjoyed a banner year against the various indicies by virtue of his buffettesque market acumen and cramerish bravado. anyway, the letter goes on to include seven or eight acts of fraud and other misprisions of future frauds. and for whatever statements of fact there were or were not in that investor letter, the most hysterical paragraph came near the end, where he proudly announced that, after an exhaustive scouring of trading desks from zurich to singapore, his brother would be joining the team at the firm.

okay, before i continue, a little 'color' on the matter. the former tenant was/is italian and once owned a deli called 'wize guyz' pizza and deli. just to give you a sense of what we're dealing with.

there was also a certain metal box in which i found check books from eleven or so different accounts. when linking each checkbook with the statements from their respective accounts, each and every only had a fifty or so dollar balance.

and then there were the real estate scams. this was the really sad part. there were three separate incidents where he'd convinced some old lady that he'd fix up her untended house and sell it. to read the correspondence and know that he's ripping these people off made me feel ill inside. it was just blatant and predatory fraud. he would meet these people in churches. he had a small child...and he prominently advertised this fact to these old ladies.

made me want to hunt him down and grind his slimy guido face into the pavement.

it's really sad, gentlemen. newton tried to share with us a truth with his whole conservation of mass therom: you cannot get something for nothing. but amorica is now divided into two camps about the axis of this truth. everyone in amorica believes something can be had for nothing...it is our defining philosophy. as to the division about this statement, the one percent are profiting from the 99 percent's faith in the fraud.

i guess i just wanted mr. buffett to know that he's been an inspiration to an aspiring young italian investor. it's a heart-warming epic of all-amorican virtue.

in the end, i don't really know who to blame. we used to have usury laws to protect the credulous and ignorant from themselves. but how do you buttress against the pressures of nature? a fool and his money are soon parted...and, strangely enough, the poor and credulous are the strongest advocates of check cashing locations, pawn shops, etc.

the real tragedy in all this is that the warren buffetts of the world are now muscling out yet another occupation. being a slumlord, long the ambition of shrewd slum-dogs, is now reserved for the worlds mult-billionaires. what's happened to this country? we can no longer raise the next generation of slumlords from our own communities?

and while obama was proudly parading amorican fed-induced successes, he forgot about the poor, forgotten slumlord...an unforseen casualty of modern finance and technology.

but janus hasn't forgotten all you woebegotten slumlords. cheers to the slumlords:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNG-xrnaSE4

janus

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 19:20 | 7048372 Manipuflation

"janus is not the average person. he can, after gathering all that flotsam & jetsam together in a pile, give it a quick scan and come back with a dollar value that will always be correct +/- $1.00. in the case of all my mother in law's detritus, i calculated the net worth of it all to be 17 cents."

Good to see you janus. I must admit that four years after my Mother's passing I am still perplexed by the completely full garbage bag of syrup caps in the basement amongst other things upon cleanout. What could you possibly need an entire bag of syrup container caps for? Arts and craps? Multiple gabage bags full of cool-whip contianers with no lids. National Geographics that had been wet numerous times.(those don't burn well) Damaged furniture. All went into a raging bonfire. At times, the flames stretched 70-80 feet into the air. I had some pickers come by to look but there wasn't much of any consequence. Mostly it was just time consuming junk. I did find the old receipts from the 60's to be fascinating though. A typical grocery bill was around $20 for a family of four. The junk was worth looking at one last time before entering into Manipuflation's inferno.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 05:06 | 7049567 janus

hey Manip...,

sorry to hear about your mother's passing...i hope mine comes to see to what extent and how wretchedly the drugs (though above-board and doctor-prescribed) have mangled her personality and thinking. i do wish to someday reconcile with her; but, my friend, the parentals are fairly wealthy -- and money has a way of insulating us in our crazy and protecting us from the consequences of sanity. and so, both my parents remain excessively medicated and therefore cocooned in their crazy with pillowy wads of cash.

as to the syrup caps and cool-whip cups, perhaps she was developing a means by which the two could some day be wed. thinking, 'look at all this waste!!! all these syrup caps with nothing to cap; and all these cool-whip cups, useless sans sealing cap. something must be done about this!' (midwesternerns of german stock are known for their thrift and economy; my wife's german grandmother maintains a rubberband collection to this day -- function of depression era fear -- even though she lives in a multi-million dollar home in cuppertino). but being a woman, she was obviously no engineering adept...and so the caps and cups sat with no hope of genius to come along and fuse the two. it's more likely that at some point, during the course of a bake sale or something old women do, someone found themselves in need of a syrup cap and/or cool whip cup, and your mother heroically charged in to save the day. and from that day forward, she made a vow that at no time under her watch would anyone want for a syrup cap or cool whip cup -- having provisioned against the disaster with bags and bags of the stuff...just in case.

it is most likely a case of crazy old woman syndrome (COWS in the new DSM). in my experience, it is always a mistake to try and apply sound reasoning to the thinking of anyone suffering from COWS...even if the sound reasoning is in acknowledgement of the underlying crazy. it probabaly started the same way as with all neurotic-based addictions: first there was a single syrup cap, and it brought great pleasure. then another by its side. then another. another. and all of the sudden, you're looking at a full-blown and acutely symptomatic case of COWS.

btw, "Manipulation's Inferno" is a great name for a blog.

janus

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 16:55 | 7047664 superdave

Both of these POS should be forced to live in one of their "mobile homes" in the worst part of the Ozarks! I promise you, justice would be served!

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 23:00 | 7047662 Emergency Ward

We foreclosed on some folks...

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 16:08 | 7047333 RaceToTheBottom

A fart would be the most ethical sound that comes from their bodies.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 15:28 | 7047161 Muse minus Time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxUbgWdBM98

Greatest Sales training model 1984

Thx WB, good laugh

Prudential RE sold most of their OR offices to BHre

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 15:55 | 7047327 janus

here's a scene from a classic for all salesmen:

(one of russell's best roles)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbO2_077ixs

janus

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 21:40 | 7048876 sonoftx

Thanks Janus, your mistake allowed me to dance around in the kitchen for about 20 minutes. I have to get me a couple of Sam Cooke CD's. That was fun!!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 07:54 | 7049783 groundedkiwi

Ditto , over an hour here.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 05:26 | 7049592 janus

agreed.

for as much as Mr. Cooke is appreciated, he remains underappreciated.

true American Treasure.

that voice was a gift from God...no other explanation...and the timing...amazing.

janus

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 07:56 | 7049788 groundedkiwi

I cruised from Sam to Otis. Cannot believe I ended back here lol

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:41 | 7047887 Muse minus Time

Love Sam Cooke...need help with the tie in...

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:53 | 7047977 janus

that's wierd...that was the song i used from the other day...here's the clip i meant to paste

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqHZWdFVyyQ

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:55 | 7047023 Squid Viscous

barbarous relics

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:43 | 7046977 Sorry_about_Dresden

https://www.facebook.com/gregorybrothers/videos/10153884847629284/

Hysterical parody on Obama!

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 17:41 | 7047215 Muse minus Time

LMAO funny re: OB parody

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:49 | 7047001 mtl4

Am I the only one who sees similarities between Munger and this famous villian from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Gw5AbXK2ooA/U_FzUui1ZSI/AAAAAAAAD_4/mbZmcimDkm...

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 18:18 | 7048118 steelrules

No, Your guy looks more like Eric Schmidt of Google.

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:51 | 7047006 SumTing Wong

Is it funny because they aren't drinking Cherry Coke? This is the way I've always envisioned Omaha...

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:56 | 7047031 Squid Viscous

and eating ice cream like two boring dipshit midwestern fucks

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:28 | 7046911 the grateful un...

that weird lighting, like they're both getting an anal probe from their intergalactic overlords

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:12 | 7046829 JamaicaJim

Becky Quick most likely is a great fuck. Her comely "come hither Clintonesqe" leer going to commerical breaks has been boner inducing for years.

No doubt Warren has lusted in his black heart for a piece of that cooze.....

That said, Warren Buffet snapped his fucking cap decades ago. His pandering to the Fuckbama (and..BIG company pulling the strings), plus his asinine tax proposals, along with his own avuncular horseshit annual aorta clogging OmahaManning-fests makes him a serial investment killer.

The shit boxes Clayton Homes Hillbillies together (single wide,,,,double wiiiides) are fucking hurricane/tornado magnets. I used to be in the business. Wouldn't live in one ...ever.

Like Soros, this Nebraska Disasta needs to slip loose the mortal coil.....

But then we'll have asshole Munger..the Tolson to Hoover spigot cocked douche....then after that, whomever these turtley fucks ordain as their "douche/anointed"

Thu, 01/14/2016 - 14:04 | 7046798 Amy G. Dala

WB, you left out the Medal of Freedom or whatever Obummer put around his neck at the WH. For the uninitiated, Clayton Homes MO is to get the buyers on the hook for site prep and building pad, then change the terms of financing. The buyer now has the choice of eating the site prep and pad costs and walk away, or accept the new and usury terms.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 00:12 | 7049263 VegasBob