Bill Gross' Advice To Traders As Stocks Crash

Tyler Durden's picture

In a time when the S&P fluctuates with unprecedented velocity and investors need HFT-like reflexes to catch any momentum move, this may be the most practical advice to traders we have heard today.

In an email to Bloomberg, the former (and currently in contention for the title with Jeff Gundlach) bond king Bill Gross says to "stay out of the bathroom" as stock markets enter bear territory.

For those who ate Chipotle.coli for lunch, our condolences.

Some more Gross courtesy of Bloomberg:

“Markets are recognizing the limited tools they now have to prop up assets AND real economies,” Gross, who manages the $1.3 billion Janus Global Unconstrained Bond Fund, said in an e-mail.


Stocks fell around the world today, with U.S. equities trading at the lowest levels since August as oil plunged below $30 a barrel. Treasuries gained as U.S. economic data did little to ease concerns that global growth is slowing.


“Wealth effect constructed with paper - sometimes corrugated/strong, sometimes toilet/flimsy,” Gross said in a Tweet on Friday from the Janus Capital Group Inc. account. “Stay out of the bathroom.”


Gross warned in December that markets were headed for a fall and urged urged investors to de-risk their portfolios or “look around like Wile E. Coyote wondering how far is down,” a reference to the cartoon character whose schemes to catch the bird Road Runner always backfire, often with a plunge over a cliff.


In his e-mail, Gross said that zero-percent interest rates and quantitative easing created leverage that fueled a wealth effect and propped up markets in a way that now seems unsustainable.

His conclusion: "The wealth effect is created by leverage based on QE’s and 0% rates."

In other words, it was all an illusion.

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Squid Viscous's picture

even better advice for Shit-potle food handlers

BullyBearish's picture

Eeetz always beeeeen about Liqueeeediteeeee!

Soul Glow's picture

Toilet paper burns the same as dollars.

undermind's picture

Why waste good toilet paper?  Great barter currency!

NoDebt's picture

Why is it no matter how much of Gross' stuff I read I feel like I've never learned anything new?  I mean other than his strange predilection with death.


Supernova Born's picture

The buy and hold shall ride into Valhalla.

yrad's picture

"In his e-mail, Gross said that zero-percent interest rates and quantitative easing created leverage that fueled a wealth effect and propped up markets in a way that now seems unsustainable."



ThroxxOfVron's picture

"I made a fortune skimming the Bond Bull while America was hollowed out."

TAALR Swift's picture

IOW... long ropes and short Wall St necks.

Drop the trap door.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Thank you you motherfucker!...

After you spray the porcelain shit seat with pine scented spray... May we hang you in the same place you took your "dump"?!!!

Make_Mine_A_Double's picture

Stay out of the bathroom......did he just short Shitpolte?


The Carbonator's picture

The Obama Regime needs to BAN selling stocks.  If you buy its a Good trade.  If you sell its an Assault Trade.




Fixed it.

Sudden Debt's picture

Weird how they all figure it out when the game is over.

Give it another months and there will be hundreds of "smart" people who saw it comming and tried to tell everybody.


NEOSERF's picture

I would say, "Look up".  Both to make sure the sky isn't falling and that some dumbass trader hasn't jumped.

Spitzer's picture

havn't read it yet. Is he reccomending treasuries too ? Like the last article > and the article before that ?


Hey China and the Fed are selling, lets step infront of that train

I woke up's picture

I'm hearing it from people at work already how much they already "lost" but had no intention of cashing out anyway

zipit's picture

Tell us when they finally cash out to make the pain stop.  That'll be the bottom.

ThroxxOfVron's picture


When the markets are closed to selling, and they can't sell at any price -THAT will be the bottom.

Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

They're the smart ones.

Wall Street makes much of its living convincing low-info investors to buy dear and sell cheap.

northern vigor's picture

Ohhh, they're going to the bathroom all right...they're crapping themselves.


Seal's picture

Where there is construction there must be destruction - Ma Kali

viator's picture

"it was an (government created, central planned) illusion."

drivenZ's picture

Bill gross stating the obvious. Even Bernanke outright admitted this years ago (see: "wealth effect"). whether it was all an illusion or just partially an illusion remains to be seen.

Midnight Rider's picture

Tech Bubble, Housing Bubble, Bubble Bubble. All illusions. End of Story.

robnume's picture

WTF? We're supposed to believe now that Bill Gross of 'Pimpco' fame has our back? Get the Fuck Off of My Planet! This guy's been sucking at the gubmint teat forevahhh!

drivenZ's picture

He hasn't always been right but Bill has actually been a solid voice of reason the past 5-10 years. 

MrButtoMcFarty's picture



falak pema's picture

its only 15 T of digital money...

Salsipuedes's picture

LEVERAGE! (is a bitch...). He sold it as well as most. Fuck off skinny.

NoWayJose's picture

You can't stay out of the bathroom -- if you've eaten at Chipotle!

Niall Of The Nine Hostages's picture

You know what this is? Another taper tantrum.

Bond yields are falling because the smart money fully expects Aunt Janet to give the naughty children on Walll Street what they want, and fed funds to go back to zero.

Once Wall Street starts getting free money again, everything will be awesome again---at least for those on Wall Street who bought equities and oil futures from the rubes at a fraction of fair value.

By all means, sell the FANGs before they bite you any harder. Buy the dip on everything else.

Dark Daze's picture

You know the really fucking crazy indicator in the US stock market is AMZN. I was stunned a few months ago when I saw it had a P/E of over 500. Now the P/E/ is over 850. The NY Jews won't  let go because they think they will actually see a profit some day. Hahahahahahahaha.

Lost in translation's picture

"In his e-mail, Gross said that zero-percent interest rates and quantitative easing created leverage that fueled a wealth effect and propped up markets in a way that now seems unsustainable."


shocking I say, just shocking!!  Oh, thank you, Bill, thank you!  Does anyone else know? 


gould's fisker's picture

"We" impoverished some people . . . don't let the toilet seat hit you on the head when you're done puking out all those unicorns you were counting on.

Tegrat's picture

I have been long TZA since about $41. This time. lol


Dark Daze's picture
Dark Daze (not verified) Jan 15, 2016 7:23 PM

Illusion? It was not an illusion for the big swinging dicks that have already cashed out for hundreds of millions in profits and protection from the coming hyperinflation. Whenever you see a dick........

r3phl0x's picture

He means the "Jerk Off And Cry" room.