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Here's A Chart You Won't See On CNBC

Tyler Durden's picture




 

What goes up, comes down considerably faster.

For global stocks, Bloomberg notes, the way down ($15 trillion lost in 7 months) has been much easier than the climb up ($30 trillion added in 4 years).

Source: Bloomberg

With markets from Asia to Europe entering bear markets this month, stocks worldwide have lost more than $14 trillion, or 20 percent, in value from a record last June amid worries over global growth and deepening oil declines. The pace of the drop has been so fast that it has already unraveled about half of the rally since a low in 2011.

And here is a bonus chart from Bank of America, which looks at the S&P on an equal weighted basis, to avoid such aberrations as the collapsing market breadth phenomenon, also known as FANG. Spot the symmetry.

 

 

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Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:37 | 7051095 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, the "markets" broke-out a while back...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:41 | 7051136 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Broke Back Markets, where the screwing never ends......

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:44 | 7051167 nyse
nyse's picture

I wish I could quit you...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:06 | 7051381 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

 Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, Janet! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. I can't make it on a coupla high-amplitude bullish rips once or twice a year! You are too much for me Janet, you sonofawhoreson bitch!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:43 | 7051638 Ward no. 6
Ward no. 6's picture

i can't quit you .....

https://youtu.be/g41q_OqwKHk

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:54 | 7051712 DownWithYogaPants
DownWithYogaPants's picture

Sounds like the audio of buttsecks.  Dude is screaming as though sumpin hurts!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:25 | 7051944 Flatchestynerdette
Flatchestynerdette's picture

Which is why the treasury dept and  TPP is ready with the lube to ease the pain. We're up big from the lows. I can only imagine they actually pull this turd into the green at close.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:34 | 7051979 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

Long refrigerator boxes

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:00 | 7052125 techpriest
techpriest's picture

Is it finally time to start saying "Gold Bitchez!" Or do we have to get through one more monkey hammer?

http://money.cnn.com/2016/01/13/investing/gold-prices-jeff-gundlanch/

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:20 | 7052214 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

I cant wait to say Rhodium Bitchez and see the return to $10,000/ozt.

The current price of $780/ozt seems like a steal.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051176 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

With common core math this works out exactly right.  Thanks Obama!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:47 | 7051193 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

The economy is stronger than it's ever been!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:50 | 7051230 manofthenorth
manofthenorth's picture

You're just "peddling fiction" ;-)

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:56 | 7051287 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Gotta love that head and shoulders though

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:07 | 7051384 illyia
illyia's picture

:)

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:17 | 7051455 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I like the rolling over part in your emoticon when flipped 90 degrees left.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:54 | 7051714 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

Ya gotta admit the fucktard in chief knows how to come up with a memorable phrase. Now if he could just learn how to think

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 20:50 | 7053547 conscious being
conscious being's picture

Just to be fair, his predecessor came up with "Mission Accomplished".

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:54 | 7051723 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

" Change you can beleive in? "

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 17:27 | 7052635 Supafly
Supafly's picture

Change you can be leavin'

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:33 | 7051575 Gazooks
Gazooks's picture

'Gotta love that head and shoulders though'

 

 

looks like Atlas shrugging to me

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 20:58 | 7053578 Keyser
Keyser's picture

And the next leg down is going to be YUUUUGE.....

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:35 | 7051588 Fullthrottle
Fullthrottle's picture

Barack the Magic Negro will save us. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:37 | 7051597 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

I honestly believe that he thinks he is.... One world giverment is going to be for your own good.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:56 | 7051729 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

His major accomplishment?

Getting those darn Confederate flags removed from Walmart and changing the names of a few buildings on campuses.

 

That's something, right?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:33 | 7051573 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Release the Kramer!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 19:16 | 7052026 Cadavre
Cadavre's picture

Knuggle guy said, "Broke Back Markets ...".

During my initial read, a cockroach pittering about under an "out of order"  50 cent washing machine at the "upside down sign" laundromat, known (locally) for it's self emptying used syringe  recycling bin in it's bathroom, at the corner of Skid-row Dr and Dead End Cemetery Rd, where Soylent Green Kimchi factory is being built, asked me if I prove "1 + 1 =2" (but was really attempting to pimp me 20 minutes of his girlfriend amour if I would pull the rotten tomatoes out of the garbage can where the turds were thrown when the potty in the syringe recycling room stopped up.

 

Anyways, as Gorillaz Clint Eastwood faded an oldie with a chorus that screamed "I WANT TO BALL YOU" and reminded of cheap windowpane and pimpled sausage casing wrapped tubby girls with wads of semisolid fish-ish bouquet-ed wax for their periodontal braces taking shape in in the pack pocket of the double knit stretch pant's move bequeathed them before she ran off with the meth dealer ... I thought (if that is possible) Knuckles print said (and it mades sense too) ...

"Broke Black Markets".  

A vain shame of ignorance began to wash through URS true, like smack hot out of the spoon, and I realized:

Black Markets Never Break - that's why they be illegal.

Then a nano moment of burning grey matter fueled a suspicion that Knuckles was shucking some kind of Senator Lacy Lindsey Graham "through the teeth and over the gums yummy yum yum .." backdoor Flaunting American Girlyboy Suck-ass dandies that the Diebold, not too unexpectedly, mind you, machines told us we hired to manage our authorities. 

"I Want to Ball You " faded to a radio pitch to participate in a medical study, and Alex Jones busted into my ear with the false logic of his "I'm not a "flat-rather" or a "hollow earther" or a "seven gods of chaos", trust me, I'm like everybody else, I be saying anything for moola moola - and - after not switching off the mic, he askes his producer if he's seen his one gal pop corn bucker with the hole in cut into the bottom ... then sizzzzzzzzz,

... and as the gain is upped by the driver of a 1976 Monte Carlo locked onto a barrio AM's replay of "Low Rider", and the blah blah blabbering politico-sychophant-psycho-excrement shart of the conceptually  meaningless of Donald Trump Vs Hilary Vs Rand Paul blather fades like memories of a quack's back alley, root canal quack who sidelines redecorating a 12 year old girl's uterine wall so she can punch in with the rest of the crew for a more cud chewing love in the mud of Epstein's flying joy stable.

 

And Alex asks: Who more of of a bad boy, Crosby or Billy? Who the fuck cares. 

TRUMP - THAT'S a RETAIL NO - NO FLUFF HEAD BOY - PITCHING a SALE, based on your competitors negatives is basic junior college marketing 101. Bill's pimples are not the issue. Hillary's gout is not the issue. The issue is will any of you fat cats and the common's employees your fact cat paper bribes visa vi a big pot and a truing of losing hand in a Watergate BJ Hive, be a begging the stakeholders that own the lump of rock for a pass when the livestock trucks deliver your sweet tender meat ripe on the bone to the Solyent Green Factory at the end of cemetery road.

Why are the lease's of our RF frequency pitch to be president to stop the inflow of Mexicans. Mexico's GDP is more attractive is better than mirror in the matrix motel attempts to pump the pitch that nothingness has substance. F -em all.

The first candidate that says America will go to paper ballots in cheap clear plastic box with a slot on top that never gets removed or locked away from the commons view.

Bad mouthing a known asshole through a suspected shill like AJ. How much did you pay for that advice fluff head? You wrote book DT? Really ... as images of Kurt Vonnegut doing Rodney Dangerfield's term paper in "Back to School" dancing like shadows of demon tentacles in a street dregs dreams crashing from bad meth.

We don't have patriots who are willing to set a piece of their life aside to serve the constitution and the commons running for presidents. We have shape shifting entertainers and media whores pitching a produce t that will never exist.

Wanna get rich. Pay me and be an "Instant Water" franchisee. Easy to to demo, All ya need to do is empty the packet of instant water in a glass AND just add wage - viola. (quantities available while supplies last. Not sold outside the US where people can still take a shit without missing the fucking toilet)

T H E  - F U C K I N G - Q U E S T I O N -  I - H A V E - I S:

Are expected interest income from notional swaps derivatives (notional means the term structure does not risk countepartyany principal. The notional principal is used to compute the interest on the swap (currency swap, currency fixed-float rate swaps, rate swaps). Twas long ago, after a tedious stint in the over the counter bond brokerage that my little fixed income [actual] accounting solution and a tedious-er read of a fat handwritten  notebook filled the algebraic redux of the quant I needed to forward price LIBOR and the cofi-s so my partners could pitch a merger.

The counter-party arrangements, if brain fog and Monsanto Gout, have not disrupted my Ginkgo dosing (did you know that dinosaurs ate Ginkgo leaves - and they're still eating in paradise inside our hollow earth (_|_)) , could term one party as the payer and the other as the receiver, or both carries could be a payer and a receiver. There were even contracts where both parties could structer as floaters in a currency rate swap.

Are swaps even registered with the SEC - or is it all dark pool transactions? If things gets so bad the party with the USD float underly can't pay fixed CAN party - so fucking what - a doom and gloom of assets not risked, like the notional principal to mark the payouts on an opff the book bets don't matter to me.

Donald just said he'd bomb the shit out of ISIS's oil crackers and then have have Exxon - some bad-ass american company that borrows from the fed to pay stock dividends to share holders ain't someone I'd depend Donnie. You can go bankrtupt all you want, Donnie babe, as long as it ain't my money or my neighbors money bailed in to cover your casino losses when some sex tour industry country goes belly up.

What we need fluff head face is to the same weapon Ic eland used with double extreme prejudice.

(trump said "we never win any wars" and that the "media sucks" - two thing - Ya wanna a war Donnie Floff Boy, you pay for it and you have your children ex-wives political consultants and your garrisons madison ave girly boys wearing kneepads under their pantaloons - America did not come into this world to win fucking you fluff coiffed bitch - America came into existence to feed the blood lust of my criminal and indentured ancestors with Aboriginal American lukecytes with a hope that breeding beyond their European Master's barnyard  Indian flesh

I don't even know if swap contracts go through a custodian. Do they?

How does book something that does not exist, liked a swap contract flavor marked for computational purposes to a notional principal cost?

When the talking heads, including Max, bomb the bandwidth with "be very afraid of the 200 Trillion Leveraged derivative gorillas in the room. what are they talking about? Are any of those contracts structure with real principal or  collateral underlies that is anything more than a signature on a paper with a law firms logo printed.

That's why alien's are coming to earth from Gronobulax. The economies of Grunobulax must be fueled by conversion of hadrons to Higgs particles used to make the printing ink for paper with a legal letter head.

that can be seen

 

In reality, I suppose that all paper is a derivative bet, even thUSD

(ain't all bets outside mom and pops fence, ain't the jizz derivative bets.

 

That's when I learned that Burmuda and New Zealand have different banker holidays.  Who the F cares, right. Well, as we all know, there are anal regents that think their shit smells like Hillary's dic. I am not smart. I hate memorizing. And I am an ass-hole when I work 20hrs/day on a project that (even) outré highest SAT asian engineers said they didn't have the time - they did own any equity or risk assets either. That was weird to guy who earned his dog meat in the FASB patch. . The PITA was an MIT MBA whose job was to answer the phone when I had a question. One day we were chunking through a test of random number, and he asked, "Do you know what the name of that identity is?" (like some admission of  a word urs true was not familiar with would give his cock street creds). He got pissed when I told him "I don't have time to get personal with the math" (my goal is to structure the data and processes so that it take all night to crunch the forward state of the swap)

It was fucking accurate as shit. A predicted price as reliable as accounting print. Price fixed float rates YEN vs GPB 9 months ahead, and it hit YEN/GBP to the into. Of course gave myself, and not the smarty pants prof who gave me the big book, the credit. The merger went through - next move was the pitch to a primary in the WTC. I took stock and built a quant engine that managed carbon and volatile solvents stored, manufactured and piped pumped in the crackers of the oil patch.

The buyer and the lame ass CEO the board appointed, shook hands and agreed to formalize the structure and terms. I shopping for land on Maui. Laying back in bed watching CNN - taking the day off. I was tired - I paid my attorney 15K to negotiate with my PO'd cause they did not own as much stock as I did - then magic planes with wings in foreground that magically disappeared behind buildings in the background on the vids

The bet's I l;poked at were always 100 Million notional dollars. 

 

SO When one hears there's trills leveraged in the derivatives market, are they talkin ENRON using ENRON paper as collateral. 

 

I was told by a onetime student of the guy that did the redux was also a one time MIT teacher. MIT cert's are falling out of the trees these daze.

 

The bass player in my sometime gigging band taught electrical engineering at the MIT factory, but now can afford his artistic-ish hobby with me and a mix of other scalawags attempting to fog the listener's path to the Soylent Green intake chute with disruptive primitive rhythm of thrusting pelvises. 

 


 


Fri, 01/15/2016 - 22:22 | 7053911 cheeseheader
cheeseheader's picture

Sir Cad;

 

Not really a fan of Janus, but your feeble (and alcohol-fueled?) attempt to capture a bit of his conjecture and conviviality comes up quite a bit short with me.  No problem tho, as I sometimes log in to assert my own alcohol-fueled wit and wisdom amongst the army here.  Like, now fer instance being a Friday and have been attitude-adjusting for amere three-and-a-half-hours now.

 

So, kerry own and don't get any on ya, orr jus have a goood daay   ok

!

GG"dayy matty

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:41 | 7051137 ShorTed
ShorTed's picture

I don't understand this "broke out" thing you speak of.  Idiot financial TV only uses that expression when "markets" move up.

/s

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:24 | 7051939 Babaloo
Babaloo's picture

Not to be pedantic, but a breakout implies the market is going up.  A breakdown, well, that's a breakout to the downside.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:34 | 7051582 Takeaction2
Takeaction2's picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAAA.......it is on the top of their site now.

.

((((STOCKS TRIM LOSSES)))))

 

Down -485 as of this second is trimming losses?  What a CNBC Shit Show.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:01 | 7051768 Wulfkind
Wulfkind's picture

I know Amazon and Wal Mart have a little something to do with this....

But Office Depot is down 37% from this time last year

And Staples is down 47% from this time last year.

 

Green Shoots anyone ?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:43 | 7052046 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Ate 'em. Got any Soylent Green?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:57 | 7052417 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I was in a Staples a week or two before Christmas to use a gift card and a price match on a HDD. I was the only customer for the thirty or so minutes I was there. What is keeping that store open?

Sat, 01/16/2016 - 00:33 | 7054190 Quebecguy
Quebecguy's picture

Online sales.

Sat, 01/16/2016 - 01:55 | 7054342 Pabloallen
Pabloallen's picture

QE

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:09 | 7051850 Takeaction2
Takeaction2's picture

WHen I was at CES I asked one of my friends if he was in stocks?  He said Yes.....and I told him 9 days ago to GET THE FUCK OUT.....He said "Ahhhh...they go up and down..but mostly up over time."  I told him he was absolutley insane.  I offered one scenario.  I said, why don't you park your money on the sidelines, and then when this thing bottoms out, get back in if you want.  I got the blank stare, and then just some random comment like "Ahhh, it will be fine.."  I am itching to call him right now...and say "IS IT FINE NOW???  GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU HAVE SOME GAINS LEFT MOTHER FUCKER....

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:37 | 7051097 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Watching this fucking thing crash is the most fun you can have with your pants on. The money is secondary, watching the bubble blowers suffer is the most enjoyable part.  

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051121 thecondor
thecondor's picture

Got my popcorn. Just watching the shit show.  I'm waiting for the jump scenes.   

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:56 | 7051289 TRM
TRM's picture

PPT, clean up on isle one, two, three .... oh hell just move the bodies out of the way. They are breaking the fall of the next bunch.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:53 | 7051709 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Or as they used to say at my least favorite summer job: "Code Brown in Produce! Code Brown in Produce!". You figure it out

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:57 | 7051295 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

I agree that watching IS fun. But it's MUCH better when you're short the S&P 500, RUT 2000 and HY debt at the same time.  

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:26 | 7051524 NoVa
NoVa's picture

I've been long SPXU since 32.  IF S&P closes below 1860/1857, then off the cliff. 

Also own TLT as money goes risk-off into Treasuries. 

 

Good Luck -

 

NoVa

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:07 | 7051817 IMACOINNUT
IMACOINNUT's picture

Been long SQQQ for a month or so now, just lovin it all.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:49 | 7051682 City_Of_Champyinz
City_Of_Champyinz's picture

I am long volatility only, sold the stocks 14 months ago.  This is a great show!

Hoping to make up all the paper money I have lost over the last year, I have a feeling that I will be doing that relatively shortly plus much much more.  This is an epic shitshow bubble. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:51 | 7051695 NoVa
NoVa's picture

2016 volatility will be significantly greater than in 2015. 

Good luck

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:18 | 7051462 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Don't forget the nailguns.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:03 | 7051783 Bloodstock
Bloodstock's picture

Yes! The jump scenes, excellent comment! I feel kinda bad agreeing but, not really! Holy jeebus am I becoming one of them? Nah. Jump you bastards, jump!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051126 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Fuck em. They were warned. Fucking idiots never learn. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:48 | 7051216 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Never, never go  Full Krugman.

gosh, I miss Leo.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:35 | 7051589 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

This is keynes occurring now. They are breaking it.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:50 | 7051236 bamawatson
bamawatson's picture

but but but Fiction; they were peddling Fiction

b hussein homobama told me so

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:55 | 7051269 Kayman
Kayman's picture

dupe

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:42 | 7051146 E.F. Mutton
E.F. Mutton's picture

I have a distinct chubby

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:03 | 7051356 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

#DoomChubsMatter

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:44 | 7051162 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

They're making a killing on shorts; believe it.  The real evaporation of wealth is on all of us who own a piece of a 401k or other retirement instrument dependent on the stock market's health.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:21 | 7051490 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Sounds like a bunch of candidates who need the saftey of a Myra. Coincidence? I think not.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:44 | 7051166 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Won't mean a damn thing until the bankers/financiers and their bought-and-paid-for political class start losing their fucking heads. Then we can really celebrate.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:11 | 7051418 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Even more fun when their private security details end up even ditching them...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:21 | 7051464 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

...bought-and-paid-for political class start losing their fucking heads.

 

 

Don't mean a thing, if "they" ain't got that "swing".

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:47 | 7052069 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Nah, a Fargo Chipper or a Musollini Piñata would bring in more $$ for PPV.

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051175 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

True if you're being a spectator. But when being active rather than passive, I'll side with the Beatles: Happiness is a Warm Gun.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:22 | 7051498 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

But when being active rather than passive, I'll side with the Beatles: Happiness is a Warm Gun.

 

A PENIS...is a warm gun. Bang bang shoot shoot.

 

Mother Superior jumped the gun.

 

(That is how the Beatles got that around te censors...)

 

When a woman moans, "That is happiness", well, it is a double entendre.

 

You shoot with your weapon then Sally Rottencrotch will play with your gun.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051181 Vlad the Inhaler
Vlad the Inhaler's picture

The best part will be when the tech unicorns go under.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:12 | 7051426 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

It ain't real until it's Pink-Slip Friday at the FANG's, Twatter & (rotten) Apple.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:55 | 7051274 Occams_Chainsaw
Occams_Chainsaw's picture

Just took my pants off.  Now it's even moar fun.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:40 | 7051616 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

The bubble blowers are looooooooong gone, this is Calpers, IRAs and 401ks taking one for the "team"

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:38 | 7051098 Wulfkind
Wulfkind's picture

Every rollercoaster is built this way.

WEEEEeeeeee !! UH OH....puuuuuke !!!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:38 | 7051100 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

everthing is fine...just ask MarketFarce....

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/dont-panic-dont-sell-plan-2015-08-26

 

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:43 | 7051155 Philo Beddoe
Philo Beddoe's picture

Kudos to u Kaiser for keeping the honest money torch burning. Might not do as much good. But better than the shit that might be in store. I almost never post anymore cause I am just so sick of the bullshit. The market could close green today...it is that FUCKED.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:47 | 7051203 Solio
Solio's picture

Stay the curse!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:00 | 7051326 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The comments on that article are telling. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:38 | 7051103 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Just think ...all it took was one lousy quarter point hike, bitchez !

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:39 | 7051109 QE4MeASAP
QE4MeASAP's picture

"I see Jim Bullard"

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051132 Pareto
Pareto's picture

+1000  That is fucking hilarious!!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051123 nemesis2012
nemesis2012's picture

HOW ABOUT A NICE HAWAIIAN PUNCH!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051125 Flounder
Flounder's picture

Well, with Yellen as the country's equity analyst and Bullard as the commodity analyst we are in good hands.  By the way who is the Fed's credit analyst?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:40 | 7051131 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Get me out NOW!!!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:41 | 7051139 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Talking about market cap...Intel Corp not looking too hot today.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:42 | 7051141 stant
stant's picture

Who's got steely dans Black Friday cranked up on the box?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:42 | 7051143 charms
charms's picture

Time to pay the piper

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051149 franzpick
franzpick's picture

May be time soon to try that 7% China market halt, or stox may be going down the 20% full monty.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:42 | 7051150 Kickaha
Kickaha's picture

Yes, I know I'm naive about such matters, but what's the problem if a lot of rich people who think they are rich becaue they hold a piece of paper that says somebody owes them money wake up and discover that they really are not rich.  Their current "wealth" is illusury, and to the degree they live their lives based upon illusion, a dose of reality is a cure, and the sooner they get one, the better off they will be.

On the other hand, he who panics first, panics best, and the urge to find bagholders is a strong one.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:47 | 7051199 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

@kicaha:  You're not naive. You're sane in an insane world.  Common sense has become highly uncommon.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:23 | 7051505 Baldrick
Baldrick's picture

the middle class do not riot like Baltimore. however they do have access to hundreds of millions of guns.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:07 | 7051821 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

"...they do have access to hundreds of millions of guns."

And big screen TVs as the Patriots, Panthers and Packers play this weekend.....

And then there are these necessities:  http://beerchips.com/

Eat em and smile!

I expect that the masses won't riot until after Feb 7 Super Sunday.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:42 | 7051151 khnum
khnum's picture

aw the poor puddy tat fall down

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:43 | 7051156 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

Bank of Israel how?  Bank of Japan how?  Bank of Switzerland how?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:43 | 7051157 GRDguy
GRDguy's picture

And they're still capping gold and silver prices to keep the suckers in the financial casinos. There hasn't been a greater example of price manipulation in the precious metals market than at this moment when EVERY market in the world is RED.

http://money.cnn.com/data/world_markets/asia/

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:44 | 7051160 markar
markar's picture

Wow. The "good" news just keeps on coming. I think it's time to duck and cover.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051174 Collapsed_Elast...
Collapsed_Elastic_Pants's picture

16,000 by 3:50. Undecided on adding the /s. Glad I went to cash before the hike.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:45 | 7051178 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Everything in life is the same.  It takes a long time to build something, be it a relationship or a building.  But it only takes a moment to decimate it.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:03 | 7051344 . . . _ _ _ . . .
. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture

"Like boots and hearts, when it starts, it really falls apart."

-T. Hip

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:13 | 7051874 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

These boots are made for walkin'

and that's just what they'll do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:07 | 7052148 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

"The gold road's sure a long road, winds on through the hills for fifteen days...These boots were made for walking; Marquis de Sade don't wear no boots like these. Gold's just around the corner, breakdown's coming 'round the bend." Stone Roses

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:11 | 7052175 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

Maybe its because she's my sister:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRdtPaVaqYY

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:33 | 7051966 ozziindaus
ozziindaus's picture

You're right. Many have lost lifelong relationships over a cocktail and some sweet words.....others have lost buildings over a couple of office fires

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:46 | 7051183 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Nice head and shoulders top on that bitch.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:48 | 7051206 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Exactly! You beat me to it. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:47 | 7051195 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Nice pattern. Means more downside.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:48 | 7051207 Blythes Master
Blythes Master's picture

Hmmmm..... If the carnage accelerates into the close, I wonder if the markets/banks open up again on Tuesday?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:48 | 7051209 wizteknet
wizteknet's picture

Donald Trump the only natural born citizen out of all the above, so funny!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:48 | 7051215 two hoots
two hoots's picture

Yellen is rehearsing her fainting spells. 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:49 | 7051219 Cardinal Fang
Cardinal Fang's picture

Symmetry is the product of automation. call it 'quantity control' instead of quality control.

Once the parts are interchangeable, you can make more of them...

Thus, you have command and control production.

We should be glad the days of horse and buggy markets are over.

Let the computers decide our fate.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:23 | 7051504 Implicit simplicit
Implicit simplicit's picture

Ah, the beauty of art is human error)

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:45 | 7052362 Cardinal Fang
Cardinal Fang's picture

A philosopher, I see...another beauty of art is that the artist can control the context of 'truth' to make it more 'apparent'...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 17:06 | 7052468 Implicit simplicit
Implicit simplicit's picture

I made a bracelet for an artist that got big into making money through automation, she does alright for herself. She asked me if I could make 700 of them for a 1000 dollars. I had to laugh, cause I probably could if I wanted to put my energy in that direction. I was just enjoying my work. Truths are relevant to time and space according to your "categorical imperative" at that time.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:49 | 7051220 Argenta
Argenta's picture

Looks like a macroscopic graph of silver prices.

-Argenta

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:52 | 7051251 starman
starman's picture

Fake titts pop to!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:56 | 7051282 conraddobler
conraddobler's picture

It's tough to tell the scale of that top chart but that graph has a pretty good head and shoulders pattern in it that if it completes should result in going back to about 45 trillion which is where the ramp started LOL.

Looks like the neckline is now broken.

May mean nothing but I thought it looks pretty interesting.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:27 | 7051528 alphahammer
alphahammer's picture

 

Good call. Also looks like a lot of support right here with a four bottom.

If it breks down further here -- uh oh...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:56 | 7051288 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Couple more down days like this and we're talking 2 year equity sector lows all around:

http://finviz.com/futures_charts.ashx?t=YM&p=w1

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 13:59 | 7051298 Schlub
Schlub's picture

I can only hope this is the "cheap-suit/rainstorm" scenario that will finally end this bullshit.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:06 | 7051371 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

2008 wiped out the lower-hanging fruit, but then they engineered the fake rally, and those who escaped the carnage breathed a sigh of relief, and congratulated themselves on being so smart.

The next downturn takes them out. And I think that is when you might hear some noise...the election is just going to make it more likely that someone will actually hear and respond to their cries...

But I think a whole bunch of folks are going to be very, very pissed-off at being cleaned out twice in less than a decade.

And I can't WAIT till Obama is finally forced to face the reality of the economy. BEFORE he leaves office, so he gets a faceful of his failure as the world watches. May his "legacy" end up where everyone's 401k ended up...in the shitter.

Someone got to Mr. Hopey-Changey as soon as he was sworn in...and he rolled over ridiculously fast. I want him to regret it, and to wonder how things would have gone had he done the right thing. Both as a lesson to him, and to anyone else who portrays him/herself as a 'saviour' and then chooses to sell-out to the Washington establishment instead.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:15 | 7051440 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"elections"...

Locally, maybe (because you know were the fuckers and their children live).

Nationally, LMFAO!!!
None of the digital/currency "wealth" is fucking real, period.  At least not until you exchange it for a real asset or some productive capacity.

The fact is that for 40+ years bankers and financiers have been nothing but privileged overcompensated middlemen stuck between the computer/printer and the producer/consumer in the real economy.

They bought D.C. in order to keep that "privilege", fuck em!!!  Time to execute the middlemen!!!

Everything is well-documented because of their own hubris, fuck em, there is no way forward without a serious refund or serious RETRIBUTION!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:28 | 7051536 o r c k
o r c k's picture

These are EXACTLY THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:44 | 7051649 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

You gonna lead us in that retribution effort, there LOP?

I'm all in!  In the interim, run these parameters to determine the extent that the masses are being buttfucked:

1) angle of dangle

2) mass of the ass

3) heat of the meat

4) speed of the seed

5) direction of erection

I loved physics!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:33 | 7051569 HumourMeBlack
HumourMeBlack's picture

That's assuming he wasn't already "sold out" BEFORE he got elected.  He has done an excellent job for the ones that put him there.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:39 | 7051609 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

The only noise you will hear is a collective whimper after Big Daddy pulls his cum-dripping

joint out of the asses of the masses. 

Hmmmm.  My 401k is at record levels today.  Did I do something wrong?

I guess i'm not toeing the party line.  Guess I missed that memorandum.  Maybe next time.

More like being cleaned out THREE times in about 15yrs.  But hey.  People never learn.

Regret what?  Accepting 250K per speech post-Oval office?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:24 | 7051938 True Blue
True Blue's picture

Someone got to Mr. Hopey-Changey as soon as he was sworn in...and he rolled over ridiculously fast.

He was bought and paid for before the electioneering even began. In December 2007 the Zero had more campaign funds than Any other Two dem candidates put together -including Hitlery Clintoon. Funny for someone nobody had ever even heard of on the national stage...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:15 | 7051443 Consuelo
Consuelo's picture

Isn't it about time for a destroyer drive-by at the Spratly's...?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:18 | 7051460 wally_12
wally_12's picture

I just watched our illusturious leader say our economy has never been greater on the SOTU address. I invested on his que and look at whats happening now. sarc on

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:19 | 7051467 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Where's MillionDollarBoner? What have you got to say now FUCKER.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:37 | 7051999 Bunghole
Bunghole's picture

MDB is sarcasm/satire.

You ought to demand a refund from your educators if you cant see that.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:20 | 7051471 abyssinian
abyssinian's picture

All I see on CNBC is Jim Cramer screaminig buy buy buy! Steve Liesman cheerleading how the Feds actions are boosting the economy and Tim SeeMoreButt yelling marekts just bottomed and buying stocks with both hands.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:20 | 7051476 cheech_wizard
cheech_wizard's picture

Chipotle is up today... WTF?

Standard Disclaimer: I guess some people just can't get enough unicorn meat....

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:20 | 7051477 die standing
die standing's picture

Those seven ain't THE seven.

Simple as that.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:23 | 7051503 o r c k
o r c k's picture

Why are you PEDDLING  FICTION !!??   (this phrase could become a legacy legend)

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:26 | 7051526 zero whaaat
zero whaaat's picture

now that i am finally in the zero loop i have a new acronym for you

this is not a BTFD market...

it's a POTH market...

... Put On The Highs...

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:34 | 7051581 besnook
besnook's picture

short the FUCKING rips- stfr

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:42 | 7051619 zero whaaat
zero whaaat's picture

STFR   that's even better !  Full SALE

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:32 | 7051567 MadVladtheconquerer
MadVladtheconquerer's picture

They slide faster than they glide.

Got cash, beotches?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:34 | 7051577 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Everything is fine.

 

https://youtu.be/tTaJgHD16zM

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:37 | 7051591 rejected
rejected's picture

Here's MSM explaining investing for the lemmings...  stay the course...

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/dont-panic-dont-sell-plan-2015-08-26?si...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:45 | 7051658 Fiscal Reality
Fiscal Reality's picture

I don't agree fully with the "lemming" label; the Market Watch article has SOME truth to it (I'm sure I'll get tons of downvotes from the Hedgers who love to watch a meltdown and hate those who won't panic). I'm nicely allocated in different asset classes; bonds, RE and stocks (no PM's yet). Through yesterdays close I'm down -.35% YTD. I have no plans to change the strategy that I have followed since 1982. I don't like bubbles and HATE Wall Street, but I'm disciplined and don't scare easily as I've "seen this movie before".

Make America Great Again! Trump 2016!!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:38 | 7051605 assistedliving
assistedliving's picture

wait a sec.  I saw this chart under Big Joe Kernan's desk....only

it was labeled CNBS RATINGS

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:39 | 7051610 Lazane
Lazane's picture

Looks to me its past the time to git, now its time to gallop if your going to come out with at least your undapants

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:40 | 7051615 yellensNIRPles
yellensNIRPles's picture

This is what getting dry docked feels like.

Short KY.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:41 | 7051620 1Inthebeginning
1Inthebeginning's picture

Au   Ag  not as higher as I had thought

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:42 | 7051631 Contrariologist
Contrariologist's picture

The sooner it crashes into a smoking heap, the better.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:44 | 7051646 silverer
silverer's picture

Hey, not for nothing, but my dashboard ticker says "markets closed".  Today isn't Martin Luther King day, and it's 1:43 PM EST on a Friday.  WTF?

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:52 | 7051702 Vinividivinci
Vinividivinci's picture

Myraging hemmoroids tell me that we're overdue for a black swan/false flag shit sandwich, just so, you know,TPTB can drive the fucking economy right off the cliff, a la "Thelma & Louise"...just sayin'...

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:55 | 7051724 Amun
Amun's picture

You all know this is a casino

You know rule number 1: "the house always wins"

Yet the whole nation is duped into  401k gambling

into giving away all their retirement in a casino gamble

how can an entire nation let itself be so screwed

 

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:05 | 7051793 pinky lee
pinky lee's picture

I remember way back when, you put your savings in a savings account and collected interest on your money. It is no wonder so many have resorted to putting monies in a somewhat risky 401K. You're right, the house always wins and they don't care about us, at all.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 16:39 | 7052333 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I hear ya, but you gotta pay attention to the math of a 401k and its tax breaks:

 

1. Your Employer does some kind of Matching.  This is FREE money to rise or fall.

2. Your Contribution has a nice Tax Write-off.  That's somewhere in the 20-35% range for most people.

3. Calculate Effective Contribution, adjusting for (1) and (2) above.  Bet ya it's > 35%, or damn close.

4. If you've been investing for years, it means it's been compounding for years.

5. If you resisted the ZH siren song of PM in the last 5 years, but stayed in the market, you did well.  Really well.

6. If you parked your 401k or IRA recently, you're sitting on the sidelines, with a mix of Bonds, Cash, PM.  PM that you now bought really cheap, instead of overpaying for several years (2011-2014).

 

If you do the math (Steps 1-5 above), then whatever 'Dip' you'll see, will still be smaller than the gains you've made.  Unlike the suckers and fools who invest in their fave One-Trick Pony.

Using the stats of the last 80 years, I'll bet you that your 'Dip' will recover nicely in a few years.  Be neither a Bull nor a Bear, but be Agnostic.  Which means, that you're Diversified and you adjust to the Season and Weather.  IF you do, you can stay focused on the real crux of the matter: your Exit Plans A and B (where A=Scheduled, B=Sudden & Unscheduled).

The only thing of real concern to YOU, is where the Portfolio stands when you need to dip into it -- be it 6 days or 6 years from now.  And that is something that only you and your CFP can determine -- not the Bears on ZH or the Bulls on TV -- because your needs and circumstances are unique.  For this very reason, the correct answer is always:  "IT DEPENDS".  Anyone who tells you otherwise is a crook or an idiot.

-Kirk out.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 17:55 | 7052781 Fiscal Reality
Fiscal Reality's picture

Congrats on the best post of the string! I'm shocked you don't have 80 downvotes for your lucid and logical post.

Fiscal Reality!

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 14:56 | 7051727 db51
db51's picture

Please Explain.     How could 3 Trillion have evaporated in a market downturn as per Drudge.    Isn't there ALWAYS someone on the other side of the trade to TAKE your money as profit?    So how can money be lost...doesn't it just change hands?

 

If I go to the casino and lose $ 100.00 this afternoon....it really isn't lost...it changed ownership.   I'm confused.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:08 | 7051841 Bloodstock
Bloodstock's picture

EXACTLY! Where did the fuckin' money go? Somebody has it somewhere.

And it's happy hour somewhere so I think I'll have another drink.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:09 | 7051849 GrokMarkets
GrokMarkets's picture

I may not be getting this completely right, but I think in simple terms it's something like this:

You go to a car dealership and purchase a new car for $30,000. As soon as you drive it off the lot it looses some value (probably a couple thousand dollars). That value is gone. Niether you or the dealership can ever sell that car for $30,000 again (with some rare acceptions).

So, before you bought the car, you had $30,000 and the dealership had a car worth $30,000, so $60,000 in total value. After you drive off the lot the dealership has $30,000 and you have a car worth $28,000, so $2000 were "lost."

Note that it isn't lost forever. You're car might become a classic and be worth $100,000 some day, but right now it's lost.

Fri, 01/15/2016 - 15:32 | 7051971 Michigander
Michigander's picture

When stocks go up, everyone can wins. I buy at 1, I sell at 2, to you. You sell at 3, to others, They sell at 4 to others. Who lost? No one. A rising tide lifts all boats.

When stocks go down, I bought at 4, sold to you at 3. You thought "its gong up" and buy at 3 but sell at 2. The others think the bottom is in and buy from you at 2 and sell at 1. Everyone loses. That is the evaporation of paper wealth.

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