Here's A Chart You Won't See On CNBC

Tyler Durden's picture

What goes up, comes down considerably faster.

For global stocks, Bloomberg notes, the way down ($15 trillion lost in 7 months) has been much easier than the climb up ($30 trillion added in 4 years).

Source: Bloomberg

With markets from Asia to Europe entering bear markets this month, stocks worldwide have lost more than $14 trillion, or 20 percent, in value from a record last June amid worries over global growth and deepening oil declines. The pace of the drop has been so fast that it has already unraveled about half of the rally since a low in 2011.

And here is a bonus chart from Bank of America, which looks at the S&P on an equal weighted basis, to avoid such aberrations as the collapsing market breadth phenomenon, also known as FANG. Spot the symmetry.


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LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, the "markets" broke-out a while back...

KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Broke Back Markets, where the screwing never ends......

nyse's picture

I wish I could quit you...

Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

 Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, Janet! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. I can't make it on a coupla high-amplitude bullish rips once or twice a year! You are too much for me Janet, you sonofawhoreson bitch!

DownWithYogaPants's picture

Sounds like the audio of buttsecks.  Dude is screaming as though sumpin hurts!

Flatchestynerdette's picture

Which is why the treasury dept and  TPP is ready with the lube to ease the pain. We're up big from the lows. I can only imagine they actually pull this turd into the green at close.

techpriest's picture

Is it finally time to start saying "Gold Bitchez!" Or do we have to get through one more monkey hammer?

Bunghole's picture

I cant wait to say Rhodium Bitchez and see the return to $10,000/ozt.

The current price of $780/ozt seems like a steal.

Temporalist's picture

With common core math this works out exactly right.  Thanks Obama!

Soul Glow's picture

The economy is stronger than it's ever been!

manofthenorth's picture

You're just "peddling fiction" ;-)

DeadFred's picture

Gotta love that head and shoulders though

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I like the rolling over part in your emoticon when flipped 90 degrees left.

SuperRay's picture

Ya gotta admit the fucktard in chief knows how to come up with a memorable phrase. Now if he could just learn how to think

conscious being's picture

Just to be fair, his predecessor came up with "Mission Accomplished".

Supafly's picture

Change you can be leavin'

Gazooks's picture

'Gotta love that head and shoulders though'



looks like Atlas shrugging to me

Keyser's picture

And the next leg down is going to be YUUUUGE.....


Fullthrottle's picture

Barack the Magic Negro will save us. 

gatorengineer's picture

I honestly believe that he thinks he is.... One world giverment is going to be for your own good.

CheapBastard's picture

His major accomplishment?

Getting those darn Confederate flags removed from Walmart and changing the names of a few buildings on campuses.


That's something, right?

Cadavre's picture

Knuggle guy said, "Broke Back Markets ...".

During my initial read, a cockroach pittering about under an "out of order"  50 cent washing machine at the "upside down sign" laundromat, known (locally) for it's self emptying used syringe  recycling bin in it's bathroom, at the corner of Skid-row Dr and Dead End Cemetery Rd, where Soylent Green Kimchi factory is being built, asked me if I prove "1 + 1 =2" (but was really attempting to pimp me 20 minutes of his girlfriend amour if I would pull the rotten tomatoes out of the garbage can where the turds were thrown when the potty in the syringe recycling room stopped up.


Anyways, as Gorillaz Clint Eastwood faded an oldie with a chorus that screamed "I WANT TO BALL YOU" and reminded of cheap windowpane and pimpled sausage casing wrapped tubby girls with wads of semisolid fish-ish bouquet-ed wax for their periodontal braces taking shape in in the pack pocket of the double knit stretch pant's move bequeathed them before she ran off with the meth dealer ... I thought (if that is possible) Knuckles print said (and it mades sense too) ...

"Broke Black Markets".  

A vain shame of ignorance began to wash through URS true, like smack hot out of the spoon, and I realized:

Black Markets Never Break - that's why they be illegal.

Then a nano moment of burning grey matter fueled a suspicion that Knuckles was shucking some kind of Senator Lacy Lindsey Graham "through the teeth and over the gums yummy yum yum .." backdoor Flaunting American Girlyboy Suck-ass dandies that the Diebold, not too unexpectedly, mind you, machines told us we hired to manage our authorities. 

"I Want to Ball You " faded to a radio pitch to participate in a medical study, and Alex Jones busted into my ear with the false logic of his "I'm not a "flat-rather" or a "hollow earther" or a "seven gods of chaos", trust me, I'm like everybody else, I be saying anything for moola moola - and - after not switching off the mic, he askes his producer if he's seen his one gal pop corn bucker with the hole in cut into the bottom ... then sizzzzzzzzz,

... and as the gain is upped by the driver of a 1976 Monte Carlo locked onto a barrio AM's replay of "Low Rider", and the blah blah blabbering politico-sychophant-psycho-excrement shart of the conceptually  meaningless of Donald Trump Vs Hilary Vs Rand Paul blather fades like memories of a quack's back alley, root canal quack who sidelines redecorating a 12 year old girl's uterine wall so she can punch in with the rest of the crew for a more cud chewing love in the mud of Epstein's flying joy stable.


And Alex asks: Who more of of a bad boy, Crosby or Billy? Who the fuck cares. 

TRUMP - THAT'S a RETAIL NO - NO FLUFF HEAD BOY - PITCHING a SALE, based on your competitors negatives is basic junior college marketing 101. Bill's pimples are not the issue. Hillary's gout is not the issue. The issue is will any of you fat cats and the common's employees your fact cat paper bribes visa vi a big pot and a truing of losing hand in a Watergate BJ Hive, be a begging the stakeholders that own the lump of rock for a pass when the livestock trucks deliver your sweet tender meat ripe on the bone to the Solyent Green Factory at the end of cemetery road.

Why are the lease's of our RF frequency pitch to be president to stop the inflow of Mexicans. Mexico's GDP is more attractive is better than mirror in the matrix motel attempts to pump the pitch that nothingness has substance. F -em all.

The first candidate that says America will go to paper ballots in cheap clear plastic box with a slot on top that never gets removed or locked away from the commons view.

Bad mouthing a known asshole through a suspected shill like AJ. How much did you pay for that advice fluff head? You wrote book DT? Really ... as images of Kurt Vonnegut doing Rodney Dangerfield's term paper in "Back to School" dancing like shadows of demon tentacles in a street dregs dreams crashing from bad meth.

We don't have patriots who are willing to set a piece of their life aside to serve the constitution and the commons running for presidents. We have shape shifting entertainers and media whores pitching a produce t that will never exist.

Wanna get rich. Pay me and be an "Instant Water" franchisee. Easy to to demo, All ya need to do is empty the packet of instant water in a glass AND just add wage - viola. (quantities available while supplies last. Not sold outside the US where people can still take a shit without missing the fucking toilet)

T H E  - F U C K I N G - Q U E S T I O N -  I - H A V E - I S:

Are expected interest income from notional swaps derivatives (notional means the term structure does not risk countepartyany principal. The notional principal is used to compute the interest on the swap (currency swap, currency fixed-float rate swaps, rate swaps). Twas long ago, after a tedious stint in the over the counter bond brokerage that my little fixed income [actual] accounting solution and a tedious-er read of a fat handwritten  notebook filled the algebraic redux of the quant I needed to forward price LIBOR and the cofi-s so my partners could pitch a merger.

The counter-party arrangements, if brain fog and Monsanto Gout, have not disrupted my Ginkgo dosing (did you know that dinosaurs ate Ginkgo leaves - and they're still eating in paradise inside our hollow earth (_|_)) , could term one party as the payer and the other as the receiver, or both carries could be a payer and a receiver. There were even contracts where both parties could structer as floaters in a currency rate swap.

Are swaps even registered with the SEC - or is it all dark pool transactions? If things gets so bad the party with the USD float underly can't pay fixed CAN party - so fucking what - a doom and gloom of assets not risked, like the notional principal to mark the payouts on an opff the book bets don't matter to me.

Donald just said he'd bomb the shit out of ISIS's oil crackers and then have have Exxon - some bad-ass american company that borrows from the fed to pay stock dividends to share holders ain't someone I'd depend Donnie. You can go bankrtupt all you want, Donnie babe, as long as it ain't my money or my neighbors money bailed in to cover your casino losses when some sex tour industry country goes belly up.

What we need fluff head face is to the same weapon Ic eland used with double extreme prejudice.

(trump said "we never win any wars" and that the "media sucks" - two thing - Ya wanna a war Donnie Floff Boy, you pay for it and you have your children ex-wives political consultants and your garrisons madison ave girly boys wearing kneepads under their pantaloons - America did not come into this world to win fucking you fluff coiffed bitch - America came into existence to feed the blood lust of my criminal and indentured ancestors with Aboriginal American lukecytes with a hope that breeding beyond their European Master's barnyard  Indian flesh

I don't even know if swap contracts go through a custodian. Do they?

How does book something that does not exist, liked a swap contract flavor marked for computational purposes to a notional principal cost?

When the talking heads, including Max, bomb the bandwidth with "be very afraid of the 200 Trillion Leveraged derivative gorillas in the room. what are they talking about? Are any of those contracts structure with real principal or  collateral underlies that is anything more than a signature on a paper with a law firms logo printed.

That's why alien's are coming to earth from Gronobulax. The economies of Grunobulax must be fueled by conversion of hadrons to Higgs particles used to make the printing ink for paper with a legal letter head.

that can be seen


In reality, I suppose that all paper is a derivative bet, even thUSD

(ain't all bets outside mom and pops fence, ain't the jizz derivative bets.


That's when I learned that Burmuda and New Zealand have different banker holidays.  Who the F cares, right. Well, as we all know, there are anal regents that think their shit smells like Hillary's dic. I am not smart. I hate memorizing. And I am an ass-hole when I work 20hrs/day on a project that (even) outré highest SAT asian engineers said they didn't have the time - they did own any equity or risk assets either. That was weird to guy who earned his dog meat in the FASB patch. . The PITA was an MIT MBA whose job was to answer the phone when I had a question. One day we were chunking through a test of random number, and he asked, "Do you know what the name of that identity is?" (like some admission of  a word urs true was not familiar with would give his cock street creds). He got pissed when I told him "I don't have time to get personal with the math" (my goal is to structure the data and processes so that it take all night to crunch the forward state of the swap)

It was fucking accurate as shit. A predicted price as reliable as accounting print. Price fixed float rates YEN vs GPB 9 months ahead, and it hit YEN/GBP to the into. Of course gave myself, and not the smarty pants prof who gave me the big book, the credit. The merger went through - next move was the pitch to a primary in the WTC. I took stock and built a quant engine that managed carbon and volatile solvents stored, manufactured and piped pumped in the crackers of the oil patch.

The buyer and the lame ass CEO the board appointed, shook hands and agreed to formalize the structure and terms. I shopping for land on Maui. Laying back in bed watching CNN - taking the day off. I was tired - I paid my attorney 15K to negotiate with my PO'd cause they did not own as much stock as I did - then magic planes with wings in foreground that magically disappeared behind buildings in the background on the vids

The bet's I l;poked at were always 100 Million notional dollars. 


SO When one hears there's trills leveraged in the derivatives market, are they talkin ENRON using ENRON paper as collateral. 


I was told by a onetime student of the guy that did the redux was also a one time MIT teacher. MIT cert's are falling out of the trees these daze.


The bass player in my sometime gigging band taught electrical engineering at the MIT factory, but now can afford his artistic-ish hobby with me and a mix of other scalawags attempting to fog the listener's path to the Soylent Green intake chute with disruptive primitive rhythm of thrusting pelvises. 



cheeseheader's picture

Sir Cad;


Not really a fan of Janus, but your feeble (and alcohol-fueled?) attempt to capture a bit of his conjecture and conviviality comes up quite a bit short with me.  No problem tho, as I sometimes log in to assert my own alcohol-fueled wit and wisdom amongst the army here.  Like, now fer instance being a Friday and have been attitude-adjusting for amere three-and-a-half-hours now.


So, kerry own and don't get any on ya, orr jus have a goood daay   ok


GG"dayy matty

ShorTed's picture

I don't understand this "broke out" thing you speak of.  Idiot financial TV only uses that expression when "markets" move up.


Babaloo's picture

Not to be pedantic, but a breakout implies the market is going up.  A breakdown, well, that's a breakout to the downside.

Takeaction2's picture is on the top of their site now.




Down -485 as of this second is trimming losses?  What a CNBC Shit Show.

Wulfkind's picture

I know Amazon and Wal Mart have a little something to do with this....

But Office Depot is down 37% from this time last year

And Staples is down 47% from this time last year.


Green Shoots anyone ?

TeamDepends's picture

Ate 'em. Got any Soylent Green?

Moe Howard's picture

I was in a Staples a week or two before Christmas to use a gift card and a price match on a HDD. I was the only customer for the thirty or so minutes I was there. What is keeping that store open?

Takeaction2's picture

WHen I was at CES I asked one of my friends if he was in stocks?  He said Yes.....and I told him 9 days ago to GET THE FUCK OUT.....He said "Ahhhh...they go up and down..but mostly up over time."  I told him he was absolutley insane.  I offered one scenario.  I said, why don't you park your money on the sidelines, and then when this thing bottoms out, get back in if you want.  I got the blank stare, and then just some random comment like "Ahhh, it will be fine.."  I am itching to call him right now...and say "IS IT FINE NOW???  GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU HAVE SOME GAINS LEFT MOTHER FUCKER....

BlueStreet's picture

Watching this fucking thing crash is the most fun you can have with your pants on. The money is secondary, watching the bubble blowers suffer is the most enjoyable part.  

thecondor's picture

Got my popcorn. Just watching the shit show.  I'm waiting for the jump scenes.   

TRM's picture

PPT, clean up on isle one, two, three .... oh hell just move the bodies out of the way. They are breaking the fall of the next bunch.

OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Or as they used to say at my least favorite summer job: "Code Brown in Produce! Code Brown in Produce!". You figure it out

FL_Conservative's picture

I agree that watching IS fun. But it's MUCH better when you're short the S&P 500, RUT 2000 and HY debt at the same time.  

NoVa's picture

I've been long SPXU since 32.  IF S&P closes below 1860/1857, then off the cliff. 

Also own TLT as money goes risk-off into Treasuries. 


Good Luck -




IMACOINNUT's picture

Been long SQQQ for a month or so now, just lovin it all.

City_Of_Champyinz's picture

I am long volatility only, sold the stocks 14 months ago.  This is a great show!

Hoping to make up all the paper money I have lost over the last year, I have a feeling that I will be doing that relatively shortly plus much much more.  This is an epic shitshow bubble. 

NoVa's picture

2016 volatility will be significantly greater than in 2015. 

Good luck

Bloodstock's picture

Yes! The jump scenes, excellent comment! I feel kinda bad agreeing but, not really! Holy jeebus am I becoming one of them? Nah. Jump you bastards, jump!

Philo Beddoe's picture

Fuck em. They were warned. Fucking idiots never learn. 

Kayman's picture

Never, never go  Full Krugman.

gosh, I miss Leo.