Would You Hire It: China's "Resume" Revealed
After the worst two-week start to US stock trading in history, bulls need some cheering up. So here, courtesy of Citi's Brent Donnelly, is some levity: this is what China's Curriculum Vitae would look like if it was applying for a job. It is also a great summary for those who need a simple cheat sheet of where China was, where it is, and where it is going.
So would you hire it?
(14 votes)
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A bear landing?? Had too much beer?
Crushing the Former Soviet as well.
"You're fired."
TRUMP 2016!!!
No problem, under BLS, 450 million are not in the labor force.
When do we see the USSA resume, I am sure its at least 1000 times worse
Let's put the Fed resume' up there, too. Let's see how they have done with the U.S. currency and economic stabilization.
Wall Street Resume by Ceri Shepherd:
A customer once asked me what is the City Of London really like. I replied that behind the flash glass facades and the fancy suits it is really like a casino on the outskirts of town, run by the mob, frequented by all the local hustlers and fraudsters, full of flea bitten prostitutes, where all the tables are bent and the cards marked. Wall Street is the other lower class establishment.
Wall Street in reality is the only place whereby a man can glide into town in his new Rolls Royce, to take financial advice from somebody who each night goes home on the subway. Nowhere on this planet does the old Latin saying CAVEAT EMPTOR = BUYER BEWARE apply more than on Wall Street.
http://news.goldseek.com/TrendInvestor/1205820420.php
Did you ever meet Ebenezer Scrooge? He had a chair under the clock at the 'Change.
If Scrooge is about despising lies and stupidity, I can live with that.
By the way, I do not despise Christmas but I no longer celebrate it. I do hate Christmas in Brazil because it’s too hot. Best Brazilian holidays are Carnaval and New year eve. My favorite holiday in the US is Thanksgiving.
They have done very well. It has been ALL by design since 1913.
The Donald.." You're Fired!"
China... "Wa Fo yu think i do no..
The Donald.. " I said you're fired, Hable no speak English?
China..Ok, i like u, fucker..
The Donald... "leave, just get out of my site "
China. .. "ok, ok, you tough, I like u...
A beer market produces epic pissing contests.
Well, it beats the hell out of Russia's resume. THe last line on Russia's reads: "Returned to kleptocratic autocracy and fell into economic death spiral"
How's the weather in Tel Aviv? Isn't today Saturday? Aren't you supposed to be at the synagogue?
yovatti = yomutti
duh
just as stupid
I'd hire 'em. I'd stick them in the "Fruad Detection Department" Think of the movie, "Catch Me If You Can"
Fraud - the 5 letter"f" word
China makes Arthur Andersen look like a cub scout with dimples and a beanie.
Chinron accounting is an AA legacy
My dad was a well known accountant in his day. He really wanted me to take over his business. I couldn't stand numbers and didn't want to mess around with other people's money. And in particular didn't want to have to constantly keep up with the changing tax landscape......( I learned the insanity of that early on when I used to have to swap out pages in the multi-volume tax register books with changes in local, state, and federal taxes.....every single week).
Not long before he retired and when I was in a down and out period in my life he offered to help me get a job with Arthur Anderson. I turned him down. I'm glad I did. I'm also glad he died before seeing A.A. go down in flames.
Poor AA. After that firm was put down, Detoilet Douche got caught in the Parmalat fraud and was declared TBTF.
Only if they buy lunch every day, chop suey with a side of fried rice.
No, I wouldn't hire China.
The resumé's hopelessly incomplete for one thing. I'd want to know what China had been doing for the whole 20th century.
"So, could you name a challenge you faced working for Chairman Mao and how you dealt with it?"
"Finding food was one. Rat is pretty good with a side of steamed grass."
"...we'll let you know."
Qualifications: Hundreds of millions of citizens who shit in the river and lack electricity.
That's India.
Low Maintenance.
Arnold...close, but no bullseye. India embraces CHAOS, Thailand embraces ORDER and China embraces THEFT.
Fixed it for ya!
Huge human reserves.
Hundreds of millions of illiterate peasants aren't much of an asset, unless you're into slave labor and organ harvesting.
Oh wait...
Sleep with whores you get US STDs.
what is missing is the chinese own their money. the pboc is a state bank, not a private one like the west fell for. as such their internal banking allows a bottomless abyss of a balance sheet. the only money that matters is the external exposure but how many people own yuan? even that doesn't matter since the pboc can just print its way out of any fiat shortcoming and satisfy any counter party risk or just say "fuck you, no yuan for for you" and collapse the western private central bank ponzi scheme.
i think the chinese just won the game of go....while the usa thought they were playing checkers. they should have gotten a clue when the chinese ignored their shouts of "king me! king me! goddam it! don't you know how the game is played!?" as they trapped them in a box with little white disks while snickering, "ha, ha, dumb americans thought they were playing chinese checkers. ha, ha."
Go's Japanese, dumbass.
chinese originally, dumbass. and don't give me that cantonese mah jong crap.
It makes no difference what game you are playing when you have a big gun in your back pocket. If you are willing to use said gun, you pretty much win every game. War tends to be the end game for most international disputes.
Would I do business with China? Do I really have a choice? I buy bulk o-rings direct from China. I could opt to buy them from a US supplier but they will cost 2x and be made in China. Buy any product in the store, odds are it is made in China.
Two huge items not on the resume:
No Jews.
No blacks.
Very Few Muslims. That is a HUGE plus.
give me the gold backed bonds and I am in... Krugman China does not have the guns does it... The clubs and activity on CV is missing perhaps Raised Middle Class or lose head club, Kleptcrocratcy alive at IMF SDR's all for top club.. suppress all competition on monopolies via lawyers and IP rights.
Ps Muslims are getting a patent for all the letters of the alphabet (perhaps why all_CIA_duh Google did name changed thing).... Either way as long as PNAC and Krugman have guns check is in mail
The China model:
Have the world's greatest economy sell out their middle class and grant you the majority of the manufacturing sector.
You still manage to screw it up.
Basically you won the lottery, blew it, then had to file for bankruptsy.
China-
Was given: technology, manufacturing hardware, established US & Europe market, complete cheap financing.
Stole: everything they could connive, discover, copy, coerse, bribe.
Corrupt
Honorless
Insidious
Notorious
Aggressive
are you describing every single government or what? nailed it, but forgot to include all of humanity. such respect i have, ha...
and all done with get-richer quicker enablers on Wall Street and in Congress and WH.
Currently landbanking abroad in USA, Canada and Australia. Once those RE markets collapse, I'm back to roadside fast food.
Some of those Roach Coaches are pretty upscale today.
The braincell that you ticked though, was the grilled cheese sandwich guy.
http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2015-02-05/grilled-cheese-truck-as...
Why would I hire a communist - we have one of those in the Whitehouse and they have F'd the best country in the world in 7 short years.
What's that Phrase, Not the best, Just the Best we Got...
bunch of sad suckers on this planet, but you have to roll with something
....my fave story from Google in Sunnyvale involved all the great coddling their staff received in the way of endless treats and amazing kitchens and to-order meals. Laundry and exercise facilities. Google became the focus of your entire being, to the detriment of those discarded along the way. Impossible to live with a Googler. I know this too well. Iam far from the only one out there cast aside. Googlers have no curiosity how all their toys are paid for. They have bought the MSM version of Page & Co.
Why go home to an empty apartment when there were all these cool people to work with and amazing food?
Chinese engineers were hired and let go---discreetly. No kidding their academic "achievements" were pretty much all fake and bought with the pink envelopes for various teachers THAT HAD TO TAKE THEIR STUDENTS EXAMS in order to get paid and sure---eat. You never pass on a pink envelope in China.
The Chinese (mostly male) engineers are so coddled---call anyone up at Google to hear the backbiting and infighting. A Chinese male as your team leader and you better have a great pot stash on hand in order to survive!
The Chinese engineers dragged over the whole family clan. What you do? Of course they rec'd the grand tour where Google Sunnyvale resembles a huge playpen for adults. Dogs at work, wtf?
The Chinese clan commandeered ALL of Google laundry facitlies. Low hanging fruit. Just funnay-as-hell cultural stereotypes reinforced!
Why pay for capital upfront (expensive industrial washing machine up for the abuse) and the ongoing utility bills of a professional laundromat! The Chinese teenagers stood guard at the banks of washers and dryer. No one else could implore reason to these mainlanders. FAF.
Yeah---send them all of our manufacturing Intel. You get the reap just awards by driving to you nearst soup line ?FEMA camp.
Find a sane HR Rep in the Valley or talk to a Headhunter to the entitled and annointed Tech Companies of the Valley and they will confirm all that you have just said.
Human nature, golden handcuffs and the acceptance ideology of a true believer have not changed since humans crawled out of the first swamps of Africa. History is full of the destruction the ideologically blind have wrought on humanity.
The financial markets are a bit unstable after trillions of dollars in money printing. Now it is China's fault. Give me a fucking break. Just get on with the correction. Fuck the wealth effect. This generation don't deserve it. Save the resources of the planet for generations tens of thousands of years from now. Fuck all you selfish assholes.
Over all periods: Has huge trade surplus in their exchange with the US.
Employ business model creating addiction of american to cheap crappy product that need replacement every two year.
Everyone trying to avert a "financial crisis" when that's exacty what we need.
gangrene took the toe, but instead of dealing with it, and moving on it's been left to spread to the leg.