Anyone Using New York City Roads After 2:30pm Will Be Arrested

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Congratulations New Yorkers: moments ago not only did your local authorities ban all travel starting at 2:30pm...

  • CUOMO: PORT AUTHORITY ISSUED TRAVEL BAN ON G. WASHINGTON BRIDGE
  • CUOMO: PORT AUTHORITY ISSUED BAN ON LINCOLN, HOLLAND TUNNELS
  • CUOMO: PORT AUTHORITY ISSUED BAN ON BAYONNE, GOETHALS BRIDGES
  • MTA TO SUSPEND LIRR, METRO-NORTH SERVICE AS OF 4PM
  • CUOMO: PORT AUTHORITY ISSUED BAN ON OUTERBRIDGE CROSSING

... but the local police announced that anyone using New York roads after that time will be arrested on the spot, like the vile criminal filth they are.

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Sat, 01/23/2016 - 14:48 | 7086170 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

LAND OF FREE SNOWFLAKES!! *lol*

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 14:51 | 7086185 KesselRunin12Parsecs
KesselRunin12Parsecs's picture

Do Not Pass Go... Do Not Collect $200!... Bitchez!

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 14:52 | 7086192 Looney
Looney's picture

I hope Hillary decides to drive today  ;-)

Looney

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 14:56 | 7086204 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Why, she wouldn't get arrested anyhow.  She is above the law.  

Clearly Global Warming is out to destroy New York.  Thank God for that.  

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:30 | 7086217 johngaltfla
johngaltfla's picture

You have to go to Twitter and zoom in on the actual Tweet for the foonote:

* - (unless you have donuts or hookers, then you're good if you share)

Sun, 01/24/2016 - 09:04 | 7088782 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

<Snowstorm = greater threat safety

<Cops = greater threat to safety

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:14 | 7086266 Roevskalle
Roevskalle's picture

Yes, that is proven already. An über-criminal, and still allowed to run for president. And what is worse: people are supporting her like crazy. Frontrunner to presidency. That says it all. It is like most americans ACCEPT the elite to be above the law. Unbelievable.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:05 | 7086521 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

So if I'm driving before 2:30, do the cops just beat the crap out of me and let me go?

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:27 | 7086617 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

4WD pizza delivery trucks are excepted.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 17:26 | 7086903 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

New York on lock down , if you try to travel with or without your papers you will be shot , suck it up bitcheeez.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 17:37 | 7086957 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Ha! DeeBlazio can't even control murders there forget this Snow BS:

 

 

Bloody weekend in NYC puts rising murder rate in spotlight (Sept 2015)

 

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/09/21/uptick-in-murder-rate-has-...

 

That's what happens when DeeBlazio lets da peeples free to express themselves.

 

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 19:20 | 7087423 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Fuck New York already.  Cut off the water and the power and execute every motherfucker on Wall Street.  The country will be much better for it in the end.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 21:00 | 7087773 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Great opportunity for more martial law practice. Just like Katrina and Boston bombing.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 23:01 | 7088148 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Cut off the water and the power and execute every motherfucker on Wall Street

 

Looters need to be shot.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 22:34 | 7088071 Illegal
Illegal's picture

No driving! You need reindeer to make the deliveries.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 17:45 | 7086991 madmax1965
madmax1965's picture

That's some funny shit sixsigma!  This really is ridiculous!  Could be because I grew up in Buffalo and survived the blizzard of 77.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 20:12 | 7087632 DCon
DCon's picture

Impossible to tell without knowing your ethnicity and skin color

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 22:06 | 7087984 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

White snow obliterating black tarmac.

Somebody has to protest this.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:33 | 7086643 TheDanimal
TheDanimal's picture

With all the propaganda people consume these days, by choice or otherwise, to me it's no surprise.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 21:29 | 7087866 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"And what is worse: people are supporting her like crazy."

Says the lamestream media.  The truth is that the polls have favored Bernie Sanders by a large margin from the beginning.  The "news" outlest are loyal to the Clinton's, don't ever forget that.  They try to shape the politik by innuendo and lies.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 18:39 | 7087252 In Ze No
In Ze No's picture

I dunno. Outside Ithaca and Albany, upstate NY leans rather right. Off and on dreams of succession mentioned in the local news website chatter. Lots of hate for NYC and Albany libs as they like to refer to them.  I'm a MA independent that used to lean toward fiscal responsibility before that party started looking like a circus act. Now I just sit back and eat popcorn.  Anyone?

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 23:53 | 7088271 TheWorldAsYouKnowIt
TheWorldAsYouKnowIt's picture

I've started an introduction on why we don't need Governement, what Agorism is, and the difference between Anarchy & Ochlarchy.

 

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 18:39 | 7087253 In Ze No
In Ze No's picture

I dunno. Outside Ithaca and Albany, upstate NY leans rather right. Off and on dreams of succession mentioned in the local news website chatter. Lots of hate for NYC and Albany libs as they like to refer to them.  I'm a MA independent that used to lean toward fiscal responsibility before that party started looking like a circus act. Now I just sit back and eat popcorn.  Anyone?

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 19:12 | 7087392 Jim Ludwig
Jim Ludwig's picture

Thank god some people actually understand that weather and climate are two different things. Weather is out your window; climate wraps around the globe.

Apparently that would take some thinking---which most Americans avoid at all costs! Just go with your gut on beliefs you know nothing about.

 

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 19:33 | 7087484 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Careful ...

Anything positive about Climate Change

on ZH seems to piss off a huge number, mostly ignorant of facts but with conspiracy theories galore and willing to overlook anything scientific - just see below in about an hour.  Of course this is down in the thread, but watch, enjoy, wine's on me.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 22:10 | 7087996 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Ignorant of facts.

Look into the multiplier effect and get back to me on "scientific".

If you give me something good I have a case of '05 Certan de May, I will send you a bottle.

 

On second thought, I will drink it and you can get stuffed.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:02 | 7086221 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

So, you are free up to 2:30PM? Then arrested thereafter? hmmm... That sounds like those designated, and roped-off areas known as: 1st Amendment "Free Speech" zones.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:10 | 7086252 vollderlerby
vollderlerby's picture

It's like the move The Purge. The purge will start at 2:30. Fucking Nazis.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:15 | 7086273 stant
stant's picture

Anyone with a 16 oz will be shot twice

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:24 | 7086324 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

These orders are illegal. Fuck them

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:37 | 7086398 Badsamm
Badsamm's picture

It is conditioning, and they have got big plans.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:43 | 7086426 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I don't recall this ever happening before.

What fucking madness.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:48 | 7086443 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

It's a cesspool up there anyway, so who cares.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:53 | 7086464 1033eruth
1033eruth's picture

I CARE BECAUSE THE MADNESS IS SPREADING.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 17:27 | 7086907 I need more asshats
I need more asshats's picture

NYPD "trained by israel".

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 18:06 | 7087086 boattrash
boattrash's picture

If you like your city,

you can keep your locked-down city...

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 18:17 | 7087137 g speed
g speed's picture

if I lived in NYC  i'd drive just to "cry havok and unlease the dogs of war" ----whos going to say fuck--not some wrapped up fat female cop sliding down the street in some in a NYPD squad car---Let um try to catch that liter snow scooter---lol --lots a luck with that flat foot

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 18:47 | 7087287 I need more asshats
I need more asshats's picture

Get'em, g speed. And don't let up when they beg those #FBI faggots to help catch you. That's when you put on your snow tires.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:51 | 7086456 Implied Violins
Implied Violins's picture

Sounds like conditioning for FEMA camp roundups. Don't move until we tell you to, sheeple.

FUCK THEM. I don't consent to being treated like a damn criminal by criminals.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:58 | 7086770 toady
toady's picture

16 oz of what? 

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 23:55 | 7088276 TheWorldAsYouKnowIt
TheWorldAsYouKnowIt's picture

Silver Bullion Coins or Bars. What else would he be talking about?

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:30 | 7086625 pilager
pilager's picture

Chance of rain showers today.... Anyone on the street
Billyclubed and tossed in the hole

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 17:02 | 7086785 Enki Anu
Enki Anu's picture

Jade II is practicing the human domain.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 21:02 | 7087782 GotGalt
GotGalt's picture

@Looney - c'mon now, everybody knows that Hillary rides a broom, no automobile needed

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 16:11 | 7086557 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

They hate us for our freedoms.

Make no mistake, if you don't believe that, you're peddling fiction.

We curfew'ed some folks.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 14:51 | 7086190 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Back when I was a kid we had a phrase for situations like this.  "Even the drug dealers aren't out today."

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:04 | 7086230 chunga
chunga's picture

Not to be outdone, tireless public servant Chris Christie has ordered that anyone seen on NJ's bridges will be shot on sight.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 15:11 | 7086255 vollderlerby
vollderlerby's picture

Breaking News - Christie ordered a traffic study on NJ bridges to avoid the shootings

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 19:39 | 7087509 mkkby
mkkby's picture

All the NYC stores are empty, perhaps without power.  Too much snow for police patrols.

Go get em, looters.  Everything is free today.

Sat, 01/23/2016 - 22:08 | 7087991 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Looters need to be shot on sight...especially on Wall Street during business hours.

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