Deutsche Bank Stock Crashes To Record Low

Tyler Durden's picture

Moments ago, in response to DB's open querry on Twitter whether the Dax is "overreacting", we highlighted DB's soaring CDS and asked if perhaps the market was not underreacting.

Minutes later the market opined, by sending DB stock to new all time lows.

"Worse than Lehman..."


And that has crushed the entire Geman stock market...

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stinkhammer's picture

the sky is falling, it's falling the sky

BoNeSxxx's picture

How do you say "Jump you Fuckers" in German?

quadraspleen's picture

How do you say jump you fuckers in German


Wechseln Sie Ficker


You're welcome.

BKbroiler's picture

Wechseln Sie Ficker!!!!!!!!!

Dorkface's picture

"Uh oh... Bank CEOs are starting to have to say they are solvent" - Henry Blodget

GRDguy's picture

Seems to lose something in the translation. 

knukles's picture

Just remember kiddies!  That great money making idea you just had has already been discovered and exploited by somebody far smarter than you!
And now they're losing their ass, so don't even think about it.
Have a great day!

Repeat after me:  Cash, long Treasuries, munis and Gold.

No gloating.  Start plotting your next move .... what to do when the fire sale gets here!

Peak Finance's picture

I agree with like 99.99% of all your posts but Munis????   You start drinking early today? 

IS it becuase you think they are TBTF and wiill be backstopped?  


Reichstag Fire Dept.'s picture

If the Munis go bust you could end up owning some cool shit! a municipal airport or a waste disposal service!! :)

-.-'s picture

"Wechseln" sie ficker ~ "Switch" you fucker or "rotate" you fucker

"Springen" sie ficker = "jump" you fucker

Sandmann's picture

Major Shareholders


12. Januar 2016:
BlackRock, Inc., New York, hält 6,70% Deutsche Bank-Aktien.

20. August 2015:
Paramount Services Holdings Ltd., British Virgin Islands, hält 3,05% Deutsche Bank Aktien.    =  QATAR

20. August 2015:
Supreme Universal Holdings Ltd., Cayman Islands, hält 3,05% Deutsche Bank Aktien.  =  Saudi Arabia


Jim in MN's picture

Could it be, finally, simply Scapegoat Time?

Wouldn't it be soooooo ironic and effective if DB and Merkel were the 'stuckees'?

CarpetShag's picture

er I think not.

Springt Ihr Ficker

wechseln = to change (not clothes but anything else)

wildbad's picture

using "fuckers" as a direct translation won't work.  germans prefer the term "wickser" pronounced 'vickser' which means literally 'masturbator', but has a rough equivalance to 'fuckers'  the way we yanks would use it.

spenny's picture

you sir^^^ Not all heros wear capes!!

Ghordius's picture

"Fucker" and "Fuck" is very English. A German would probably say more something like: "Springt, ihr Schweinehunde!"


curbjob's picture

Jumping is so 1930's  ...

drive your Volkswagen into a tar sands pit.

knukles's picture

That's sooooo ecologically incorrect.

CarpetShag's picture

I disagree, but the language use would depend on one's age and the circles one moves in.

Joe A's picture

What happened to your old avitar? Don't believe in the Euro anymore Ghordius?

Ghordius's picture

Joe A, of course Mr. Ghordius and his whole team still thinks that the EUR project is the right thing at the right time

but Mr. G. is off on a task, and we, his faithful employees, are having fun. including a new, more playful avatar. cheers


Rainman's picture


FrankieGoesToHollywood's picture

I just checked.  The domain is still available.

VinceFostersGhost's picture




I got killed for saying that......42 weeks 3 hours ago.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

Perhaps it was your timing.  I got to admit, it really does have a certain ring to it.

EemieMeanieMinieMoe's picture

That would be Douche-Bank....right?

quadraspleen's picture

That's the $64 Billion question.


Don't you mean $64 trillion question?

ghengis86's picture

Noob Pro-Tip: Starting with a quote or italics prevents us from giving you the greens (or reds).  I tried up top on the trans, but no joy. Same here.  +1, but aren't the deratives closer to $70 Trillion?  Ahhh, who's counting anyway it all nets to $0!

DeadFred's picture

What's a few orders of magnitude among friends?

onewayticket2's picture

Yes....but at this stage, "what difference does a few zeros make?"

Jim in MN's picture

We're gonna need more white-out.   LOTS more.

J Jason Djfmam's picture

Don't you mean $640 trillion question?

KesselRunin12Parsecs's picture
KesselRunin12Parsecs (not verified) Feb 9, 2016 9:48 AM

Quick! Get Jim [Bear Stearns] Cramer on the blower!

101 years and counting's picture

nothing to see here.  ECB and Fed stress tests GUARANTEED all banks were safe, even in the most adverse scenario those central banks could fathom.  this is clearly an overREACTION, and now is the time to BFTD!!!

Shibboleth's picture

Fasten your seatbelts. One long mudslide to the bottom.

"Look ma, no hands!"

cpnscarlet's picture

Yep. Hans already nail-gunned himself.

economessed's picture

And still WAY TOO EXPENSIVE at that price.  Anything > $0 is too much.

Ghordius's picture

possibly. and yet, my left foot tells me that buying Douche Bank this week might result in splendid gains, in two weeks. for those who engage in this kind of casino betting, of course


Bangin7GramRocks's picture

And as per custom, a privileged group will get a call, wink, nudge or smoke signal just before the almighty bailout. This amazing group of geniuses will make billions of ill gotten gains and financial media people will fawn over their awesomeness. We all know that this bank will not be allowed to fail.

Huh Reeeally's picture

DB may not be allowed to fail, but can they prevent it?

Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

Thinking like the .govtards, Deutsche needs an acquiror.  Who's gonna take the bullet?  The Morg?  The Bank of Murrica?  

No, no, its Warren/Wells Fargo's turn.  

Warren, take it all in your mouth and hummmm softly.  All 6-tee trillion in derivatives!

TheFutureReset's picture

Yes, but interesting that they won't be leading any bailouts of Italy or Spain anytime soon. Boom. Long Deutsch Mark.