Deutsche Desperation & Twist Talk Save Stock Sheep From Slaughter

Tyler Durden's picture

What a day... this seemed appropriate...

Dow futures show the utter craziness of the intraday swings today as Japanese collapse led to panic-buying on "Rock Solid" Deutsche comments which led to dumping on oil's collapse after IEA supply glut issues which led to panic buying at the open (amid chatter of Operation Twist 2 by The Fed) followed by panic-selling as oil careened lower only to see stocks ripped higher again as DB unveiled a desperate bond buyback plan... which ran stops and then utterly gailed...

Small Caps were worst on the day... and Trannies ended green...

Much of the day's late-day exuberance was after Deutsche announced a half-hearted desperation play - buying back its "cheap" debt with its scarce liquidity... It failed to even get the stock green on the day...

As we detail here...Deutsche Bank may very well be in trouble.

Late last month, Europe’s most systemically important bank reported a truly epic loss of $7 billion, the first annual loss since the crisis and since then, its CDS spreads have been blowing out as the market begins to contemplate the unthinkable.

 

Meanwhile, the stock is trading near all-time lows and as we said when John Cryan announced the official results for Q4 and 2015, don’t be surprised to see the equity trading in the single digits by year end.

 

Even as the likes of Wolfgang Schauble proclaim there’s nothing to worry about, the bank’s own actions tell a different story. As FT reports, the bank is now set to buy back billions in senior bonds to shore up confidence. “After European banks suffered a second consecutive day of sharp falls, Deutsche Bank is expected to focus its emergency buyback plan on senior bonds, of which it has about €50bn in issue,” FT reported in Tuesday afternoon. “

 

“The bank’s shares still fell 4 per cent, taking the decline since the start of the year to 40 per cent.”

 

The plan doesn’t involve Deutsche’s CoCos, which have come under heavy pressure over the last several days with yields soaring as the market increasingly doubts the bank’s ability to make good on its subordinate debt. Deutsche will need to make coupon payments in April.

 

“Deutsche Bank has plenty of scope for a bond buyback, with €220bn of liquidity reserves,” FT notes. Of course the bank’s  liquidity  position will be diminished thanks to the buyback and the buyback is only necessary because the market is concerned about the bank’s liquidity. So there’s a bit of a chicken-egg scenario going on with this truly absurd attempt to calm markets by reducing debt

 

In any event, we seriously doubt this will do anything to restore some semblance of confidence in the bank which, you’re reminded, is sitting on a derivatives book equivalent to 20 times Germany’s GDP.

Bargain?...

FANGs kept falling today, breaking a key trendline...

The collapse of credit risk continues to signal more pain to come for US equities - especially the more credit-sensitive small caps..

Oil's collapse weighed energy stocks down... with financials managing to get back to unch on DB's news...

Financial credit risk spiked to its highest since 2012...

And Energy credit risk hit record highs...

Bonds weren't buying the equity craziness...

Treasury yields were mixed with a weak 2Y auction (after Twist 2 rumors) pushing front-end yields higher and long-end lower...

The Dollar limped lower once again, with early JPY weakness fading and Swissy strength leading the way...

Despite USD weakness, commodities were lower across the board but it was crude and copper that were clubbed...

Charts: Bloomberg

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Kaiser Sousa's picture

todays market wrap brought to you courtesy of “WHEEL OF FORTUNE”.
cause as they r nothing but a fucking joke - why the fuck not?????

*AS ASIAN MARKETS CONTINUED THEIR COLLAPSE REFLECTING THE TRUE STATE OF THE DEAD MAN WALKING GLOBAL ECONOMY, THE FUCKING DOW AND S&PISS _ R_ P_ _D ON THE OPEN IN NEW YORK BUT THEN MAGICALLY R_V_ _ S_ _ COURSE.

*SIMULTANEOUSLY THE P _ _ _Y PAPER PRICES OF BOTH GOLD & SILVER WERE
_ _ M_ _ D AT THE OPEN OF TRADING IN _____  ______.

*THEN IN THE ________ HOUR OF THE TRADING IN ____________ , BOTH INDEXES WERE R_ _ P_ _ OFF THE _______ ON NO FUCKING POSITIVE ECONOMIC _______ or ________, WITH THE FRAUDULENT DOW RECAPTURING THE ALL IMPORTANT
_ _ , _ _ _  MARK TO CALM THE FEARS OF AM _ _ _ D _ _ _ BS.

*HOWEVER, AFTER THE LONDON PUMP FAILED YET AGAIN, THE INDEXES THEN ASSUMED THE PREDICTABLE _______________ SHUFFLE THRU MOST OF THE REMAINING TRADE.

*OF COURSE THE PAPER PRICES OF GOLD AND SILVER WERE D_M _ _ D AT THE
_ L _ _ OF TRADING IN ____ _____ AND ON BULLSHIT GLOBEX ALGO TRADING SHOVING BOTH OFF THE HIGHS & ERASING ALL OF THEIR GAINS FOR THE ENTIRE DAY.
http://www.kitco.com/charts/livesilver.html
http://www.kitco.com/charts/livegold.html

*THEN SUDDENLY IN THE _______ 2 HOURS OF TRADING & 14 UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, MYSTERIOUS “INVESTORS” P_ _ _ D INTO THE FRAUDULENT FUCKING DOW AND S&PISS TO _ H _VE THEM BACK UP & OFF THEIR _____ , PUSHING THE DOW ABOVE THE MYSTICAL MARK OF 16,000 ON ITS WAYS TO INTRADAY H_ _ _S. AGAIN…JUST LIKE EVERY FUCKING DAY EVERY FUCKING WEEK AS FAR BACK AS CAN BE REMEMBERED.

*IN CONCLUSION THE SAME FUCKING BULLSHIT JUST A DIFFERENT FUCKING DAY.

D_ _T_ TO T_ _ F_ _K _ _G _ON_YC_ANGER_………

disclaimer: if you are able to accurately fill in the blanks of all the above you should know that you r not a “super trader” or market genius like some proclaim here on Zero. You r instead an “idiot” like myself who has witnessed the same fucking lame ass fraudulent trading by the Fed & Exchange Stabilization Fund day after fucking day and don’t have your head firmly lodged up your ass.

Soul Glow's picture

Let's help keep Zero Hedge online during all-times - 

http://www.zerohedge.com/donate

Durrmockracy's picture

Did Deutsche Bank Dastardly and Deliberately DDOS Zerohedge Offline in a Sign of Deepening Desperation?

Soul Glow's picture

Operation Twist 2?   I thought the Fed ownder everything at the long end of the curve already.

Also, Operation Twist 2 would actually be Operation Twist 3, and for anyone counting that means QE4 is actually QE9....

By The Time Operation Twist 1 Is Over, The Fed Will Have Quietly Completed 40% Of Operation Twist 2 As Well -

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/time-operation-twist-1-over-fed-will-have-...

tc06rtw's picture

   
 You know, all this  “saving the world”  shit is VERY stressful on all those poor saviours of humanity,  day after day after day after day after day…
   
 Sooner or later, one of them  really is  going to go  “postal”.

Manthong's picture

Gotta’ have good sea legs to work this market.

Amalgamated Tang's picture

What are the Chinese doing right now? I don't believe Xi and gang are at the beach or a perfect-ghost-replica of Disneyland with no lines and no waiting. 

How are they going to respond to Deutsche Bank?

How are they going to respond to a 900pt Yen crash?

How are they going to respond to Twist 2?

How are they going to respond to gold at 1200?

They get an entire week to come up with something, while no one is watching them and nobody seems to care. They are the lynchpin of collapse and yet they are hiding in plain sight.

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

Get ready girls, the Yellen reversal is coming.....shorts better watch out....you are about to get crushed by a grandma wearing a skirt

walküre's picture

so what? can her jawbowning resurrect over half of Europe's failing banks? bring WTI back to life?

what the fuck can she do other than keep with the program and raise rates

nobody ever said this wasn't going to hurt ... the PERMABULLS!!

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

She can bring WTI back to life in dollar terms, which will send stocks soaring because as we now know, oil and stocks are directly correlated. That's the Yellen reversal. 

jerry_theking_lawler's picture

So, how much does it cost per bbl to pump it out of the ground than then pump it right back down an adjacent hole?? aka, when the inventory is full, prices will go to 0 in all terms (dollar, yen, frank, euro, sing, you name it).  This is the real threat now....physical inventories are telling the real picture and financial engineering cannot hide this aspect.

SILVERGEDDON's picture

Yellin lifted up her skirt to reveal the big QE dick she is gonna ram up the ass of the civilized world.

The fed goes all Chinese on the sheeple.

" Wi Fuk Yu. "

Durrmockracy's picture

you beTter buh some goddamn Bitcoin SILVERGEDDON!

Tim Knight from Slope of Hope's picture

You are either the world's fastest typist, or you spend a meaningful part of the trading day composing this, ready to deploy - - -as Tyler might say - - "moments ago."

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

We now look forward to and eagerly anticipate the Kaiser Market Wrap, from Mr Sousa, as opposed to another type of "Keiser Report."

Edward Quince's picture

I sincerely hope not. If we are to maintain the illusion of prosperity, we need you people to spend your time in productive endeavors, hard at work. Visiting and commenting on internet blogs is no way to boost productivity. So please close your internet and get back to work, we are counting on you!

Pool Shark's picture

 

 

 

Kaiser is practicing-up to replace Hilsenrath...

 

SmedleyButlersGhost's picture

If you bothered trying to fill in this puzzle - you're under employed and need to get a life

DutchR's picture

Fill in "Fuck Me" on the blanks and it all makes sence...

stant's picture

They shut down the hedge and still couldn't end green

Mark Mywords's picture

Yes, but the retained S&P 1850 and Dow 16,000 so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Blythes Master's picture

"They shut down the hedge and still couldn't end green"

Whew; Well that's certainly a relief.

I was thinking that the tyler's ass raped me for my stinging comment in the austrian ass rape thread yesterday.

Fuck whomever the muslim monkey is that crashed the hedge with a cactus. Sideways.

Arnold's picture

De Nile Of Service.

Egyptian origin, Watson.

Young Buckethead's picture

The algos are reading ZeroHedge now. They have to turn off Tyler's headlines in order to make the ramps work.

What people aren't realizing, is that as the smart ones cash out, yes, the sheep that are left in are going to lose it all, but their children are watching all this take place - with depth/insight or not - and are telling themselves they will never, ever play this game again. The younger generation will not be investing in 'markets', period.

We are approaching the end of history for 'markets'. No one will want to play, so it will eventually become entirely algos dealing with each other, until finally it all goes dark. And we're not that far away from this endgame. We are watching the end of 'trading' after thousands of years of discovery and innovation, only to be killed off by software and massive corruption/greed.

Yes, there will be war, after the super-wealthy crash everything and buy it up for themselves with all the free money the CB's are giving them (as they've always done in the past), and before the masses are able to rise up and do anything about it. War is the ultimate distraction. Plus, in the US, the alpha males and females will be overseas dying for Wall Street, while the immigrants will be left to populate the workforce and law enforcement. All according to plan.

Take those FitBits off your kids - that's how they're going to prioritize the draft - and teach them to defend themselves.

As the decrepit nuclear power plants start popping off one by one...

 

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

Ouch. Sounds like a Mad Max / 1984 / Water World / Postman / Rambo / Terminator / the Road / Clockwork Orange senario

TradingIsLifeBrah's picture

"When it gets serious, you have to shut down ZeroHedge"

Mark Mywords's picture

Short covering. I'm sure, it was ALL short covering.

LOLOLOLOF'NL!!!!

FreeShitter's picture

Love how the Tribe kept Gold from breaking 1200.00 all day fucking laughable....fuck you and fuck you to who/whomever was responsible for taking ZH offline. You fuckers are getting more desperate. what comes around, goes around bitches.

Chupacabra-322's picture

Yep! About 3 years on this board & never seen Zero off line. These Scum Fucks sure are getting desperate. Hey, Scum Fucks. Cats been out of the bag for years. Your heads are going to roll.

Mark Mywords's picture

Over five years for me on here, and I've seen it happen before.

Soul Glow's picture

It does happen from time to time.  Usually when markets are gaining momentum for a crash (vix was up today substantially for the first time in awhile).  Could be traffic - although today's traffic wasn't breaking records - or it could be the NSA/Fed/gov.

Take your pick.

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

It was one of the longer, more sustained DDOS I have seen on ZH for some time.

Nobody For President's picture

Mark myords - yep, me too, but it is rare.

Do you go into withdrawal pains like me?