"I Don't Trust Deutsche Bank" David Stockman Unleashes Truth Bomb: "When The Crunch Comes, Bank CEOs Lie"

Tyler Durden's picture

Following this morning's proclamation by Deutsche Bank co-CEO John Cryan that Germany's largest bank is "rock solid," David Stockman exposed the ugly truth that everyone appears to have forgotten from just 7 years ago...

"in my experience is that when the crunch comes, bank CEOs lie"

Stockman details the Morgan Stanley, BofA, Lehman, and Bear Stearns bullshit that occurred before exclaiming...

"I don't trust Deutsche Bank. I don't trust what they're saying. And there's reason why the banks are being sold all across the world... because people are realizing once again that we don't know what's there [on bank balance sheets]."

Worth considering before tomorrow's European open...


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Cojones's picture

Only when the crush comes? 

Croesus's picture

Lying - the one character trait that all bankers and politicians embrace! 

xtop23's picture

How can you tell a banker is lying?

His lips are moving.

847328_3527's picture

" ... the most transparent bank ever. "

nmewn's picture

"because people are realizing once again that we don't know what's there [on bank balance sheets]."

Has anyone ever tried to actually analyze a banks balance sheet, even a supposedly solvent one? Its fucking impossible.

prefan4200's picture

I was in management in a small-town bank 35 years ago and I knew what every item on the balance sheet meant, I knew the numbers were solid, and I could explain to anyone what was happening with our bank.  Trying to understand what is on these large banks' balance sheets today is impossible.  I believe most, if not all, of the people working within those banks don't even know what some of those balance sheet items represent for their OWN BANK.  Left hand and right hand have different games going.  The big banks are doomed, their counter-party derivative positions risks are going to eat them alive, they are just starting to figure that out, but will never admit it publicly.  Watch them sweat....

fockewulf190's picture

BTW, Stockman continues the truth bomb in this Part II of the above video.  The Bloomberg moderators look to be half in shock.  Well worth the view!  http://jobs.aol.com/videos/advice/oil-in-the-20s-as-far-as-the-eye-can-s...

fockewulf190's picture

In Part III, Stockman gives the lowdown on just where all the toxic assets on the banks books have been shifted to.  Mutual Funds and ETFs!  More shock and awe!  http://jobs.aol.com/videos/advice/mutual-funds-etfs-at-risk-of-a-run-dav... .  Those 3 videos alone should generate enough motivation to cause a mob buying panic down at the phyzz shops

undertow1141's picture

I love how she covers her head like lightning is going to crash down on him for the lies comment.

Mini-Me's picture

I got about a minute into that clip before screaming at the ceiling.  These idiot talking heads brought Stockman on, asked him questions, and proceeded to talk over him every single fucking time.  Jesus H Christ, someone shut these fuckers up. 

Rude, rude, rude.  Someone at this network needs to sit these a-holes down and tell them to ask the question and then shut their fucking pie holes up. 

This is yet another reminder why I threw away my television 20 years ago.

Crawdaddy's picture

Prefan4200 - back then, did you notice you were working inside a rigged system? Or did it all seem legit?

prefan4200's picture

Crawdaddy - It seemed legit to me then, and while perhaps not perfect, it seemed to work.  I had not yet read such horror stories as "The Creature from Jekyll Island".  What went on in our little bank bore no resemblance to what the big banks do today.  I'm not embarrassed at having worked in banking but I figured out after 2 years I didn't want to be in the business.  It was boring as hell back then - "sophisticated" derivatives had yet to be invented !

greenskeeper carl's picture

Except we do know what is on banks' balance sheet - lots and lots of worthless (or soon to be worthless) bullshit. Some worthless energy sector paper, a bunch of ABS where the underlying asset is massively overvalued, and a bunch of incomprehensible derivatives, plus a bunch of other smoke and mirrors that only look good as long as they can get away with the 'mark to unicorn' accounting, which won't work once the underlying assets begin to show their true worth.


We may not know the specifics about their balance sheet, but thats not really important as long as the above is true.

BarkingCat's picture

and it is all Mark To Merkel.


All Risk No Reward's picture

One correction - the TBTF&Jail megabanks are Debt-Money Monopolist weapons to doom us.  The Debt-Money Monopolists have more wealth and more power than ever and the masses are just about as clueless as ever.

Offthebeach's picture

I know someone with a house note frome Deutsch Bank. Hasn't paid his mortgage since 2009. Still living in the house.

El Oregonian's picture

Banks operate under the "Law of Oopsies, You Lose"

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

No, banks operate under the "There's a charge for that" Law.

TheReplacement's picture

Yes.  I usually start by comparing their exposure to derivatives to the bottom line.  Haven't gotten past that point with any of them so far... still looking.

FlipFlop's picture

I worked at Deusche credit risk looking at other banks, approving very complex trades.

We approved complex CDOs of which no-one knew to counterparties we pretented to have a strong opinion. Sometimes trades went wrong with some well published results.

To answer your question, it is impossible to know. Balance sheet and anything outside is fully opaque based on public information.

We knew our own exposures but given the overall level of intelligence in risk management, it did not really matter as it was impossible to turn down a good trade. It was easier (and better for the career) to find a smart sounding reasons to approve anything. Well, based on quasi-analysis :)

August's picture

Certainly, Mr. Richard "Holbrooke" knew nothing whatsoever about anything at AIG.

A seat on the Board of Directors is just friends helpin' friends.

Mr.Sono's picture

Let's see the fed's move tomorrow. I think gold down stocks up till Friday

Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

Fed is gonna buy the market early and often tomorrow.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Technically they're not "lying".  They might be "rock solid", but they never said how deep under that rock is.  ;-)

i_call_you_my_base's picture

What he meant is that they have a hard on for more taxpayer cash.

Squid Viscous's picture

the bloomberg cunt was literally pulling her hair out, like throwing holy water on a vampire

HardlyZero's picture

When a bank holds 40 Trillion of derivatives they probably start to slur meanings...it all must be too much.  There must be so many contrary positions any comment could wipe out a trillion here or there.  The bank is probably paralyzed by now and looking towards exit (B.R.).

Secret Weapon's picture

"Rock solid".  Yep, a foundation made of sandstone.

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

hey, it all sounds good until you realize this moron says go long bonds and US dollars

38BWD22's picture



Mmm-hmm.  Deutsche Bank has been in trouble a long time.

hangemhigh77's picture

Fuck breaking them up lets BLOW THEM UP. With everyone locked inside.

Fester's picture

Once a banker always a banker.

ZippyDooDah's picture

Once a Bloomberg apologist, always a Bloomberg apologist.

HardlyZero's picture

I hear they have an open window policy.

medium giraffe's picture

It's all over but the Cryan.

Squid Viscous's picture

the guy looks like he hasn't slept much in weeks, at least the picture they keep showing...

that alone would make me nervous

venturen's picture

I will believe when I see bankers fly!

SgtShaftoe's picture

You could throw a few off of tall buildings just to make sure.  Better to be safe than sorry. 


CEO of Bear Stearns Alan S. & 'Ace' Greenberg thought there was no problem days before the bear raid and liquidation of Bear Stearns.

Tinky's picture

What does this have to do with Lady Gaga's excellent rendering of the Star Spangled Banner?

CHoward's picture

I wanted to punch her right in her throat!

homebody's picture

I know whats there - a hard drive that has been wiped.  Must be a currency cloud out there somewhere.

stant's picture

Deutchannsalt. Guess ft knox might get a update