Deutsche Bank Spikes Most In 5 Years (Just Like Lehman Did)

Tyler Durden's picture

Rumors of ECB monetization (which would be highly problematic in the new "bail-in" world) and old news of the emergency debt-buyback plan have sparked an epic ramp in Deutsche Bank's stock this morning (+11% - the most since Oct 2011). This extreme volatility is, however, eerily reminiscent of 2007/8 when headline hockey sparked pumps and dumps on a daily basis in Lehman stock... until it was all over.

"Deutsche Bank is fixed"?

 

Or is it?

 

Things are already fading...

 

We suspedct every bounce will be met by opportunistic selling as an inverted CDS curve has seldom if ever reverted back to life.

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Latina Lover's picture

Short covering, nothing more. Most of their assets are impaired, and their 75 Trillion Derivative book can blow up at any time.

Haus-Targaryen's picture

We just neod for Cramer to say DB is a good buy for us to start the 6 week count-down.

My bet is this is simply people taking money off the table, booking profits, and staring at their computer screen figuring out how many zeros to add to their next short order.

Gotta be careful with this though, if the ECB steps in the shorts will take a bath. 

walküre's picture

Even Gorden Gekko wouldn't be stupid enough to short this CB controlled casino.

There is however a real game of passing the bag going on between relevant DB shareholders. Who wants to be the last one out? But getting out all at once is not possible either.

DB is going to the chopping block. Even with a recovering share price. That last chapter is written already.

ECB buying DB stock? From which funds would they do this and then what would they do with the fractional ownership when the ponzi unwinds? ECB may be clueless but even they are not that stupid. Was good for a rumor or tout though.

European banks are fucked.

EscapeKey's picture

the ECB are neither clueless nor stupid. they know exactly what they're doing. it's just that they don't serve the interests of the population as a whole.

never underestimate your enemy.

walküre's picture

exactly right! the people who own and control the CBs are sitting at the BIS and they can by DB for cents on the Dollar. Why drive it higher unless they're offloading to whoever is stupid enough to try and make a buck in this trade?

slaughterer's picture

We already sold our DB purchase from yesterday during German open trading.

walküre's picture

Ze Germans vil take your name and expose you as nasty speculator! Jawohl!

KnuckleDragger-X's picture

DB is burning money to maintain liquidity, so undoubtedly when they are completely broke they'll be infinitely liquid.......

slaughterer's picture

DB thesis: buy the double bottom (sell quickly), and then buy the "Q" version of DB later.  

EscapeKey's picture

better prepare some more "leaks".

market manipulation is legal when it's done by "impartial" central banks.

101 years and counting's picture

the ECB can buy a pile of shit.  doesnt mean that pile of shit is worth "investing" in.

EscapeKey's picture

does that matter? if our benevolent dictators of monetary policy decides that it's in "our" interest to buy worthless assets, then that's exactly what we shall do.

and there shall be no oversight, legal recourse, or appeal process on the matter, whatsoever. because they operate in "our" interests, and you're a criminal if you doubt that.

Dr. Engali's picture

Shorts reloading for the kill.

HardlyZero's picture

Will they Put it or Pull it ?

buzzsaw99's picture

Yes, Lehman was worth moar before it was worth-less.

R.R.Raskolnikov's picture

You don't understand, this time is different. It's the economy 3.0. Long NYSE:DB. Bullish!

venturen's picture

they die when the other crooks lose faith in them. Those criminals trust each other less than we trust them...so the death spirals are starting.

pods's picture

Don't worry DB, those buzzards circling overhead are not for you, honest.

-Lloyd

If I were DB I would watch that scene in Goodfellas where Tommy was gonna get made.

pods

savedeposit's picture

Looks like a defibrillator is used multiple times without success

TradingIsLifeBrah's picture

Nothing but blue skies ahead according to US equity markets.  Need some sunglasses, the future looks so bright...

Panic Mode's picture

It is always one step forward, two steps back. 

NEOSERF's picture

Runnin' them Stop Doggies...nice job algos...everything is fixed..

NEOSERF's picture

Personally I am in no hurry to see the upcoming Joad Depression so the more the markets want to pretend, we should all be happy.

MopWater's picture

I just want to watch it burn.

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

The Banksters are used to eating their own, but this time, they may get some indigestion and heartburn from consuming DB.

medium giraffe's picture

reminds me of the shit I took this morning, that bounced off the bottom of the bowl too.

ExploitedCitizen's picture

I'd love to short the market, but when the derivatives start to crack, we'll have two weeks to get out of the monetary system.

My broker takes 2 weeks to clear money, so even making money in stocks is risky when considering systemic risk.

PTR's picture

Dead bankers don't bounce.  Or talk.

E.F. Mutton's picture

Expect Cramer to announce how he "bought DB before the rally", lol

Latitude25's picture

Who gets DBs gold certificates and who gets the pet rocks?

gcjohns1971's picture

Deutsch bank is one of the shareholder banks of the Federal Reserve.

It was traditionally owned and controlled by various corporate vessels belonging to the Warburg Family. 

The creation of the US Federal Reserve Bank is a combined venture between the Rothschilds, the Warburgs, perhaps the Rockefellers, and these families various deputies.  At this point it appears certain that JP Morgan's organization succumbed to the weight of their british investments at some time in the past...and have since been in the Rothschild's orbit.  You can guess for yourself whether the Rockefellers are co-equals, partners, or deputies.

I have read the apparent divergence between the Fed and certain Euro-area banks as a dispute on policy between the Warburgs and the Rothschilds.    I do not doubt that there is also collaboration.  However, if viewed through the prism of effects on their putative investments, combined with pushes for very different policies emanating from the relative centers of their strength, it certainly appears that they are not all in accord.

If I were to guess, I would guess that the Rothschilds have wanted to establish a 'Good Bank' in China, and thence allow their western holdings to default, and the performing assets transferred East.   While, again a guess, the warburgs seem more centered on Eastern Europe and Russia. 

Another guess would be that they'd previously attempted the same thing with Japan...but it did not grow adequately with the huge infusions of currency, leading to a deflationary environment sooner than expected, and much, much too early to allow transition out of the US, Britain, and Euro instruments.  

Now it appears China is repeating the Japan paradigm.  Time will tell.

The Warburgs appear to be centered on simply riding thing out through control of energy.  But, again, a guess.   This would seem to put them on both sides of the Syria conflict.

If so, then the 'Refugee Crisis' in Europe and the 'Immigrant Crisis' in the US - strangely symetrical and simultaneous for unrelated events - would, as a hypothesis, be useful for allowing the broadening of the social base in their respective spheres such as to delay the inevitable debt collapse.

Of course.  This is really all just fiction drawn from disparate bits of information that could separately be interpreted a thousand different ways.  It is complete speculation, without a shred of proof. 

But it does provide an interesting, if unproven and unprovable, framework for understanding events.

 

Bopper09's picture

Best to understand why this shit happens.  Like the BIS funding both sides of WW2.  It's like sadistic entertainment to these fuckheads, making governments look like fucking clowns.  If we want to solve anything with a war, it will be to send an army to the next bilderberg meeting.  But, give it time, they will be thrown back into the pit that they came from.

walküre's picture

too close to the truth

expect ZH to go offline again soon..

kelley805's picture

J.P. Morgan analysts wrote that the three best leading indicators for recession have been credit spreads, the shape of the yield curve and profit margins.

Here are some signs of a coming recession.

1. U.S. distress ratio started 2016 at 29.6%, the highest since July 2009.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/oil-price-slump-sends-us-distress-ratio-to-heights-not-seen-since-great-recession-2016-01-26?mod=MW_story_recommended_default&Link=obnetwork

2.  Orders for durable goods fell a seasonally adjusted 5.1% in December 2015.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/durable-goods-orders-decline-could-mean-economy-shrank-in-fourth-quarter-2016-01-28?dist=tbeforebell

3.  Investors in high-yield bonds are expecting to see their first negative return since 2008.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/deteriorating-junk-bonds-flash-warning-signs-for-stocks-2015-12-07?dist=afterbell

4. Default risk spikes

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-10-02/us-financials-default-risk-spikes-2-year-high

5. Iron ore prices tumble

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/iron-ore-prices-keep-crashing-adding-to-global-growth-fears-2015-11-30

6. Baltic dry shipping index lowest ever

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-02-04/worlds-biggest-containership-hard-aground-baltic-dry-crashes-below-300-first-time-ev#comment-7142125

 

Here is how to prepare.

http://michaelekelley.com/2014/10/16/8-things-to-do-when-recession-happens/

 

Here is how to get your mind off this stuff.

http://michaelekelley.com/category/humor/

 

Good luck!