Google's "SkyNet" Robots Are All Grown Up, And Terrifying

Tyler Durden's picture

The last time we looked at the fascinating robotic products of Boston Dynamics, a company which Google prudently acquired quietly in 2013, it was a cute petting zoo of clumsy robotic "animals" including a "big dog", a "wild cat", and a "cheetah." They could barely walk for a few minutes without collapsing or suffering some terminal failure.


Barely over two years later Google's robots, no longer cute little animals, are not only all grown up but judging by the progress revealed in the company's latest progress video, are a few months from being full 5'9", 180 lbs humanoid automatons who can not only walk, pick themselves up, open doors, and carry heavy loads, but are this close from replacing millions of workers in menial, repetitive occupations as well as forming an army of robots best seen until recently in the science fiction section of your favorite streaming movie provider.

Worse, they are downright terrifying because after watching the clip below we can't decide which flashbacks are stronger: to SkyNet or RoboCop.

This is how Boston Dynamics intros the following disturbing video:

A new version of Atlas, designed to operate outdoors and inside buildings. It is specialized for mobile manipulation. It is electrically powered and hydraulically actuated. It uses sensors in its body and legs to balance and LIDAR and stereo sensors in its head to avoid obstacles, assess the terrain, help with navigation and manipulate objects. This version of Atlas is about 5' 9" tall (about a head shorter than the DRC Atlas) and weighs 180 lbs.

In other words the "Atlas" is cheaper, faster, more efficient, and never complaining version of you, and will soon come in "battalion" and "mechanized infantry" versions.

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Mr. Fix's picture

Resistance is not futile.

TideFighter's picture

Marco Rubio, is that you?

Hitlery_4_Dictator's picture

Humans, especially the ones that created this shit, are retarded and deserve to be destroyed anyway. 

Took Red Pill's picture

Technology can be used for good or evil. Seems like we always choose the evil.

nuclearsquid's picture

Unfortunately, despite all the advances, they are powered by glorified weed wacker engines.  Nothing says dissonance like the deafening whine of two stroke engines as the cutting edge robots come to steal your organs.

nuclearsquid's picture

I bet this thing has only a 30 minute endurance with the current battery technology.  nothing beats ICE.  Nothing.

Manthong's picture

I saw this crap coming years ago, but I thought I would be dead and buried before I would need to worry about it..

I seem to be too old too quick, or Moore’s Law is running amok.

BTW.. I sold a 5 Mb 10 inch platter Winchester drive to a nascent IT department for $30K…about 35 years ago.

5 Tb  at Costco goes for about $140.00 nowadays.

Guess what.. even considering HD pics at a meg or two.. nobody really needs 5 Tb. 

End game.



quintago's picture

with not to mention perfect aim....

Manthong's picture

Oops.. my bad…

Nobody but the state seems to need  google-plexes of storage.

“Hi, you’re on Candid Camera” …. 24/7

Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Just wait until the local pigs get one of these to bust down your door. It will probably be given all the “rights” as a human too, just like the canine unit. And the gun-grabbing nutters wonder why we need bigger guns...?

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Getting the patent on the "robotic semen receptacle /orgasm relay switch" might be the smartest thing I ever did.

mtl4's picture

I can see it now, on a hunk of junk that big everyone's going to be aiming for the lithium pack just for a little fireworks show.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



In the end, we can always cum together with robots.

Wonder Robots

If she ain't real...its a wonder!

I am betting more money will be made on robot sex than on robot war. 

This is a near certainty in Japan. 

The fatter people become, the more likely it is. 

What fat and ugly 20 year old man wouldn't pay $20 to have sex with a robot that looks like a young Nicole Kidman?

Troll Magnet's picture

Coming to a local PD near you.

Fuck this.  I'm going to go buy more guns and ammo.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Begun, this clone war has. -Yoda

ParkAveFlasher's picture

I can think about 50 different low-cost boobie traps that render this kit useless.  Keep in mind that the thing is an idiot, and so too will likely be its operators.

CuttingEdge's picture

McCain must be jizzing his pants at that video with one thought in his pea brain - weaponize the motherfucker.

KesselRunin12Parsecs's picture

So when the world is populated with cyborg robots, whose money are the jew bankers gonna steal from?

Manthong's picture

OK ... I am doing this for narcissistic fun....

Don’t hate me because I am honest : - )

I am beautiful, too.

The Chinese graduate more engineers in a couple of years than all those such techs who are working in the US.

They will engineer near perfect sex-bots.

Ladies, beware.

I just don’t want it/her to have a Tb of memory.

A L I E N's picture

Lol at the guy in the video.  Robot trolling may become a past time until they become more advanced and self aware then it may be the other way around..

Luc X. Ifer's picture

Resistance is futile. AI is the next step in the evolution of the human kind specie. Get over it and wake up to what the elites known for millennia, there is no god, there is no immortal ghost trapped into your decaying meat carcass, It is the step when intelligence detaches from the decaying meat carcass and moves forward evolutionary. That's why elites don't need anymore the sheeple. They will have immortality and they want a nice and pristine planet to enjoy it not a garbage dumpster the earth has become today due to the overpopulation with mortal losers.


leftcoastfool's picture

I consider myself to be a rational thinking scientist.  I, and probably many others who have experienced a NDE, used to think the same thing.  Having glimpsed the "other side" 13 years ago even my persistant monkey brain cannot convince me to go back to that belief.  If you seriously look at the evidence it's difficult to explain away NDEs as "chemical reactions in a dying brain"...

Luc X. Ifer's picture

all what i can say you didn't kept updated with the latest research in cognitive science and NDE or you are not a scientist as you claim.

NDE is well understood as of today and it is nothing else but brain chemstry. for a scientist you show a tremendous lack of due dilligence 

trough your statement.

Manthong's picture

For whatever it is worth...

It is the patriotic duty of a real man to be able to drop one of those things at distance,.....

...and a .223 or a .416 won't do it. is not flesh.

johngaltfla's picture

Ya know, that movie had such a cool ending.

Terminator 3 was awesome. Oops, not so much.

iRobot was neat. Oops, not so much.

Space Odyssey 2001. Oops, not so much.

The Matrix. Oops, not so much.

Never mind, Google can kill the world. I'm too old to give a fuck if you millenials are assfucked by a robot anyways.


Dave Thomas's picture

LOL If I was taunting a robot with a hockey stick and heard it's cooling fan ramping up like that I might get a bit nervous. It's either loading it's combat system, or premtively cooling it's death ray heatsinks!

Manthong's picture

.. a .50 BMG can disable an F-35 on the ground with one round..

at great distance.

Luc X. Ifer's picture

When I'm letting you know something better listen if you want to make it alive together with the few smart enough.

If you don't, it means you are just too fucking stupid for the benefit of the specie and good riddange to the dumpster of genetic garbage.

White House Economists: Robots Will Replace Low-Wage Workers

Extinction Is Rule, Survival Is Exception


thesonandheir's picture

Yeah, would have pissed myself if the robot would have told him to fuck off before punching the annoying cunt.

Luc X. Ifer's picture

you can punch a tongue into my ass, dimp dick.

OverTheHedge's picture

Not bright, but in vast numbers, linked to drones for full overview and support, and they will be given a GPS delineated box - free-fire zone. Anything organic gets attacked until it isn't organic any more. We know what tptb think about "collateral" damage, and civilian casualties. This will just exacerbate the problem. Of course, anyone inside the box will be terrorist, so that's ok.

You could run some interesting Schrodinger's cat experiments. I can't wait.

Manthong's picture

....  understatement of the millenium.  :-D

Cacete de Ouro's picture

I think Atlas was trying to do the Riverdance in the snow....has he been hanging out with Michael Flatley in Boston?  

Luc X. Ifer's picture

nope. we are on an awesome path, the path to a clean, not overpopulated planet, the path to the peak of the biological evolution. 

snr-moment's picture

close.  I don't QUITE have that much 50BMG ammo yet, but yeah, close.

Bananamerican's picture

It moves like a Wal-Mart greeter and attracts pranksters like flies on crap...


Mr. Universe's picture

This version does. I hate to think of the 5th gen model coming out in say 5-6 years.

True Blue's picture

I am betting more money will be made on robot sex than on robot war. 


We have been using robots to kill for a half century or more already; two examples being self-guided missiles and torpedoes. The robo-sex industry has a lot of catch-up to do -and do you really want to entrust your family-jewels (now Frankfurt-Schooled into "junk") to a machine?

snr-moment's picture

TPTB will get you off when it profits them, and off you for the same reasons

Manthong's picture

OK.. just for fun…

I have a Heath kit vacuum tube tester next to the old analog scopes in the bunker.

But the scary thing is that I bought a function generator app for $3.99 on the Play Store.

True Blue's picture

Hey, OT, but I need to find some help with a couple old tube-jobs; any advice?

Manthong's picture

what tubes?

pwr,,  audio or what?

old stuff...   look for dried up caps..

replace at will..  works for a lot of old stuff.


True Blue's picture

Yeah, audio and power tubes on two old push-pull jobs from the 1940's. Replaced the caps, resistors, and crunchy wiring with new, everything glows but not even a 60 cycle hum from the 8 ohm speaker... not my field so IDK WTF I'm doing, just decided to do it to expand my horizons... and couldn't stand seeing fine machinery going down the tubes -so to speak.

Dave Thomas's picture

Check your voltages, if your plate and grid voltages are OK and you don't hear anything suspect the output transformer, most likely the secondary is open.  The primary wouldn't be open or else youd get no plate voltage on the finals. An ohmmeter on the windings should show resistance in the order of a few hundred ohms to a few kiloohms depending on how many windings is in that output transformer. Of course do all poking around in the chassis with the power OFF. When reading voltages with it powered ON, stick one hand in your pocket. 600volts can toss you across the room, if your really unlucky it can give you wings and a harp.

Manthong's picture

great advice.. check the transformer.

..but stay isolated.

...if you feel the vibes in your teeth you might be a bit too close to the power.

Speaking of glowing.. try to stay away from old 2MW S-Band radars.