Exposed - How Two Janet Yellen Phone Calls Saved The World

Tyler Durden's picture

Thanks to the just released February diary of Fed chief Yellen, we now know exactly when she called Bank of England Governor (and former Goldman Sachs employee) Marc Carney and ECB President (and former Goldman Sachs employee) Mario Draghi.

Can you guess when?

The answer:

 

This marked the exact bottom in the market. As someone suddenly decide to panic-buy stocks right as Carney's 40 minute conversation was over - and all amid spiking CDS, collapsing bank stock prices, a Deutsche Bank which even the "serious" media outlets said was near bankruptcy, surging Yuan vol, and "real" crashing earnings expectations:

 

And that is how, with just  two phone calls, Janet Yellen saved the world.

 

Unrigged, efficient markets for all:

 

Did we just get the closest glimpse of Keyser Soze the global Plunge Protection Team communication by phone call? Only the NSA knows...

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KnuckleDragger-X's picture

It's only collusion and conspiracy if WE do it......

Money Counterfeiter's picture
Money Counterfeiter (not verified) KnuckleDragger-X Apr 1, 2016 1:47 PM

Janet’s phone book.  16 year old kids looking in on the high school JAP’s date book.

SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Just another to add to the long list of coincidences. They're trying their damndest to turn us all into conspiracy nuts.

nope-1004's picture

I love that, "President Mario Draghi....."

President of what?  And since it is supposedly a public institution, when were elections held?  Can we revote on that one?

These bankers are sure a self-proclaimed bunch.  They create their own 'councils' and 'board of govenors', then elect their own who are always ex-Goldmanites.

SOOOOOOOOO f'n corrupt.

Hang'em all, Saudi style!!!!

I MISS KUDLOW's picture

I could be wrong but aren't the top guys running swiss and canards central bank g Sachs guys too, wtf

JRobby's picture

they went too far a long time ago. This is just what they do now to keep stocks from crashing and apparently it is all they do anymore.

back to basics's picture

Repeat after me, THERE ARE NO MARKETS, these criminals own it all. 

Casanova's picture
Casanova (not verified) back to basics Apr 1, 2016 2:51 PM

It's like putting lipstick on a pig. Yellen's yelling from the inescapable Disease >> http://bit.ly/1QysFHv

SafelyGraze's picture

when she calls *me,* she sounds incoherent.

SafelyGraze's picture

slack remains in the

slack

the influence of lower energy markets

slack

influence of lower energy

lower goal

full unemployment

slack

<gurrp>

hugs,
misteryellens 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJ2UAYgIXG8

 

Manthong's picture

Well the good news is that I am one of the 180,000 honest, confirmed, genuine salivating soon to be recipients for a new coal and NG burning Tesla Model 3.

Dame Ednas Possum's picture

Apart from knowing that you are referring to a car... I don't know if what you say is good or not, or if it is a joke or not?

Can it be used as a tractor to push/ pull or a digger to dig/ load/ fill?

And can you maintain it yourself?

thesonandheir's picture

Good to see that the Chair of the most powerful bank in the world still has to seek advice from her London paymasters. 

 

 

Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

As a courtesy, you always call your best clients ahead of a market-moving announcement.

Luc X. Ifer's picture

Did anybody noticed that *both* calls duration was exactly *40 min*. Random coincidence, correlation?

EarthShine's picture

Would be more strange if they were 33 minutes long..

eatthebanksters's picture

No wonder they are scared shitless at the Fed about being audited...imagine the shit that goes on there on a daily fucking basis.  And we all know that they call their favorite banker buddies to pass along the news so that they can have their institutions make the moves that are required to 'boost' the asset prices.  In their effort to save the world they make a very few vey rich whilc the rest of us are totally fucked.  No wonder Obozo likes redistribution, when his central planners make his buddies ridiculously rich they expect something back from them, eh?  Nothing like a rigged market.

new game's picture

hank the crank will tell ya all about it. all in monday morning, 700 billion bailout. watch citi dip to .97 on live trades. monday up 70 percent, 5 bagger within month...

Sokhmate's picture

You asked: "President of what?"

Answer: Stimpy's Fan Club.

https://youtu.be/p7Pe4TiHp34?t=18
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Hahahha, that was the first thing that came to my mind!

o r c k's picture

I'd like to see a statement from the Justice Dept. explaining why they are ignoring these daily felonies. Maybe everyone here could make a similar request. They need to be reminded again that they truly do work for us. Not for the TBTF Banks.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

I believe they are doing exactly what is in their charter, which Congress has deemed to not be illegal.

What does that tell you

PrezTrump's picture

FINALLY! after weeks of endless FUD we get some real chart porn!

 

TradingIsLifeBrah's picture
TradingIsLifeBrah (not verified) KnuckleDragger-X Apr 1, 2016 2:03 PM

I'm pretty sure its the people she called who's names DON'T appear in that diary that really matter.

orez65's picture

WTF!!

When the Federal Reserve can manipulate markets with capital that it pulls out of its ass, there are no free markets.

XAU XAG's picture

Surprise

 

Politicians have pension funds that own stocks and bonds

 

1 or many politicians's made the first call

 

 

LetThemEatRand's picture

But I thought the rig count was way down?  Oh right, different kind of rig.

LetThemEatRand's picture

And of course all of the kiting schemes.  We need to figure out how to get rid of all of these kites and riggers.

Conax's picture

Ha

I saw what you did there.

jus_lite_reading's picture

No PONZI HERE folks. NO CORRUPTION at all. No no no! Nothing to see here! Now go back to Kim Fuckdashian and your reality TV!

ANestIOS's picture

so true... not at all sure what ZH is insinuating, surely not that CBs invented anti-gravity

farmboy's picture

coordinated action will bring coordinated failure.

Groundhog Day's picture

what will they do when they chase everyone out of the casino for good?  trade amongst themselves?  who will be the victim once all the sheep are fleeced and no one is left?  I know at least 10 people who have cashed out hundreds of thousands from their 401k and refuse to buy regardless of how high the markets go

BoNeSxxx's picture

'WHEN' they chase everyone out of the casino?  I think we've passed that point.  The CBs are sloshing their own printed money back and forth already.

Mintcoin's picture

They print as much as they want and need to buy and inflate, and then convince people  that in order to protect against the inflation, they must borrow from them more of what they print out of thin air. Borrowers are slaves. This cycle repeats, over and over and people never seem to get it. Wake up. If you take out a mortgage or participate in any fractional reserve banking scheme you are just as guilty of perpetuating the system. Repent. Get out of debt. Refuse to borrow. Don't take their money.

optimator's picture

Friday afternoon is always a great real news day.

When the Bank Bail ins start and you can't hold cash where else do they think the sheep will put their money?  What can they do about holding gold is the question.

Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

I am almost 100% out of equity and debt markets.  The magnitude of corruption, manipulation, and fucktarded macroeconomic policy is laughable.  These days, I invest in Bank O'Mattress and Bank O'Mine.  I live on my wealth (land) and generate income 3 different ways from it.  

mkkby's picture

Stupid sheep WILL NEVER leave the casino.  Just look at vegas.  Everyone knows the odd are stacked against you and they play/lose anyway.  Idiots always think they'll be the lucky one.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, that is in fact the plan. The sheep will not accept a global "solution" if there is no global problem.

stant's picture

And to think there were jokes about " get so and so on the phone" here on ZH . Jokes always on us

Seasmoke's picture

I believe Jamie Dimon bought his stock too. February 11 has become a very bad day for The Truth. It's over. No sense fighting it any more.

 

I think April Fools Day, is the perfect day for Seasmoke to stop posting on ZeroHedge. No matter how much I believe it in my bones. It's been a total waste of time. Peace to all @ ZeroHedge. 

mkkby's picture

Most likely Dimon and/or Blankfien ordered it all.  Janet was just the employee assigned a few tasks.