White House Issues Following Statement After Meeting Between Obama And Yellen

Tyler Durden's picture

The closed-door meeting between Obama, Biden and Yellen has concluded, and moments ago the White House released the following statement:

"The President and Chair Yellen met this afternoon in the Oval Office as part of an ongoing dialogue on the state of the economy. They discussed both the near and long-term growth outlook, the state of the labor market, inequality, and potential risks to the economy, both in the United States and globally. They also discussed the significant progress that has been made through the continued implementation of Wall Street Reform to strengthen our financial system and protect consumers."

Of course, for the actual transcript of what was said, we will have to rely on some conscientious White House leaker putting it on BitTorrent, but here is our modest attempt at translating what was and what was not said: no market crashes allowed until November.

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HRH of Aquitaine's picture
HRH of Aquitaine (not verified) Apr 11, 2016 4:03 PM

Yellen was given marching orders. Comply or else.

Bunghole's picture

Have they told us the truth once in 8 years?


ejmoosa's picture

They did tell us they were meeting today.  That's the only truth I can confirm.

onewayticket2's picture

She was given a photo of Vince Foster.

pods's picture

They spoke of inequality?  Like giving one class of people the power to create credit money and lend it to the rest of us at interest?  

Or a class of people who have access to unlimited credit at 0% interest?

Oh wait, sorry, same group.


WorkingFool's picture

Imcome inequality or production inequality?

zeronetwork's picture

I think Obama told her that one Hitler is in the making. And she said no one in the history has able to fix these problems, can't help we have to go through this.

Handful of Dust's picture

Obama discussed his further plans for destroying America's middle class. A few of them still have jobs.

DollarMenu's picture

Maybe they were picking the party favors for all the bankers coming to D.C. this week.

Certainly cooking up some kind of stinky shit.

old naughty's picture

"The President and Chair [Yellen] met..."

What happened to Joe?



Not that he matters...

philipat's picture

Joe was too busy dealing with all his success in Kiev? And Janet, for fuck sake get on the phone to Atlanta and tell those Guys to get with the program. Double/Triple seasonal adjustments or whatever it takes. There will NOT be recession (actual or in the data) or market collapse before November.

Money Counterfeiter's picture
Money Counterfeiter (not verified) philipat Apr 11, 2016 10:57 PM

Keep the printing going until I am out of office.  Did I tell you about my new nail gun purchase?

Luc X. Ifer's picture

LOL, exactly what I thought - Bitch, keep the game rolling till the sheeple bring the old cunt Hitlery at the Whores House or else ... nail gun.  

milking institute's picture

Joe's hair plugs have gone to shit,he's mostly busy in his lawsuit against Bosley these days,amazingly he finds time to fight for the common man and to weild his immense influence on the global stage!   bahahahahah....

Mr. Universe's picture

You really think Obama is telling the Fed what to do?

BandGap's picture

That's an interesting thought - what if the Fed is telling the brown clown what he has to do.

Global Hunter's picture

Same people tell the Fed and the WH what to do, Yellen and Obomber (AKA the brownclown) meeting in person is a big act for our benefit.

JRobby's picture

Obama just wanted to know if the crash will happen before he leaves office. The answer is yes. Yellen's answer was "I don't know anymore" (CLUE: She neved did)

NoDebt's picture

"You really think Obama is telling the Fed what to do?"

If by that you mean Obama's walking around the table like Robert De Niro with a bat in his hand talking about baseball, no.

It's more of a "Here's what you're going to do for me and here's what I'm going to do for you" kind of conversation.

monk27's picture

Obozo probably got his marching orders for the rest of this year from his masters, through Yellen's reassuring voice...

Ballin D's picture

What a power play that would be.  You know you have him by the balls so good that you pass his orders through Yellen as a fucking dare to ignore them.

Mr Drysdale's picture

Logged in just to upvote you!

AllBentOutOfShape's picture

"It's more of a "Here's what you're going to do for me and here's what I'm going to do for you" kind of conversation."

Or more of a meeting to discuss the most recent changes/updates to the plans given to them by their anonymous handlers.

Yukon Cornholius's picture

Interpret yellen's face.


monk27's picture

Yellen looks quite relaxed; Obozo on the other hand... not so much.

ejmoosa's picture

What if they are asking each other "WTF have we done?"

JRobby's picture

WTF have we not done?

Osmium's picture

Why would they need to have a meeting?  That fck stick told MILLIONS of people that the economy was fine and that anyone that said otherwise was "peddling fiction"

So is he ready to admit he lied yet again?

BarkingCat's picture

He cannot admit that. To do so he would have to perform an act that he is not capable of performing - he would have to tell the truth.

chunga's picture

They're showing us they're taking this reform on Wall Street seriously.

Jack Lew sent Barky with a message for Uncle Janet to NIRP Lloyd's 5 billion directly to him.

boattrash's picture

Good to see you're back around. I guess you did rip it out of the wall. (for a while anyway)

Antifaschistische's picture

that would imply some level of true understanding of the current dilemma in which we find ourselves.   I don't know that either one of these clown really recognize the tsunami that's still 1000 miles off the coast.

83_vf_1100_c's picture

  The meme has been obama is just a puppet. I believe it. Yellen has her marching orders and so does obo.

mrdenis's picture

chief justice scalia...more like it 

MagicHandPuppet's picture

Summary Headline:  "Obama and Yellen surface from their private viewing of the classified portions of the Zapruder tapes with refreshed affirmations that they are both completely on track with the game plan of our owners."

Mr Drysdale's picture

Do you think that it is "Digitally Enhanced" for a clearer picture?

PAWNMAN's picture

Obumbler....Hey lookie here Granny. We can't have this sucker blow before the election got it? Let the next sucker get blamed for this disaster.

Ol Yeller....Yes Mr President.

Yukon Cornholius's picture

That's what the last monkey face did.

AZLagun's picture

Oh man, now we will have to wait until next years season of House of Cards comes out to find out what was really said in the meeting.

bookofenoch's picture

Agree. Press release total horseshit.

Beowulf55's picture

Hey Bung,


TRUTH is always the first casualty of war.......

Han Cholo's picture

"inequality"?  lol...what the fuck? When shit finally collapses, can I assume negroids are going to play nice with the college snow flakes to make sure everyone gets an "equal" share to survive? No? 

To hell you say...I can't believe it.   


Where's my hashtag? I need to protest.

dchang0's picture

I'm okay with the leftist/progressive white special snowflakes getting what they deserve--they foisted their ideas onto the rest of us, let them suffer the direct consequences of their errors.

They have this insane idea that all persons are equal in outcomes and behavior and that banning guns stops crime--if they hadn't shoved their ideals onto the rest of us, I'd be okay with it and would extend them a helping hand in time of need, but they felt their ways were superior to everyone else's and that they are justified in using gov't force to make us comply.

For that they deserve every pain the criminals will inflict on them.

bookofenoch's picture

Yep. Snowflakes reap what they sow.

BarkingCat's picture

when the heat is on, all those snowflakes are going to melt.

10mm's picture

Sounds like Germany right now. Oh well, get rPed

Squid Viscous's picture

"I ate an old jew furburger"

and LIKED it...

Saddam Miser's picture

Disgusting. But realistically accurate. +1.