Rio Declares State Of "Public Calamity", Warns Of Total Collapse In Security, Health And Transport

Tyler Durden's picture

Earlier today, the IAAF announced that Russian track and field athletes would be banned from the Rio Oympics due to allegations of systematic doping. Rune Andersen, who heads the IAAF task force overseeing Russia's attempts to reform, said that a "deep-seated culture of tolerance, or worse, appears not to be materially changed". "No athlete will compete in Rio under a Russian flag," he said.

Perhaps instead of fighting this decision, Putin's response should be a simple "thanks" because just hours later, and just 49 days before the start of the Olympics, the Rio state government declared a state of "public calamity" (yes, that's the technical term) warning of a risk of total collapse in public security, health, transport and virtually everything else, because as the local government explained, the financial crisis is preventing it from fulfilling its requirements for the Games.

In other words, the money is gone... all gone, and as we jokingly predicted some time ago, as a result of the ongoing economic and now political catastrophe in the country, the 2016 Oympics may never even happen in the country gripped by what may be the worst depression in its history. Oh, and then the whole Zika thing.

As Bruce Douglas adds, the Rio state government fears "total collapse in public security, health, education, mobility, education, environment" due to financial crisis, and that Rio de Janeiro "will adopt exceptional necessary measures to rationalize all public services, with the aim of realizing the [Olympic] Games."

It was not clear what would happen if the rationalization fails. Finally, by declaring a state of public calamity, the state government of Rio de Janeiro aims to get access to federal cash.

The question is whether there is any left.

And then, on the background of this dire assessment, some humor:


The silver lining: no matter how bad Brazil's economy gets, it will always remain rich in natural resources

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MagicHandPuppet's picture

Apparently, they did not get the memo that Obummer fixed everything.  Green squirts abound!

The Alarmist's picture

Makes one wonder there Brazil got enough money to bribe ... er, convince ... the IOC to have the OlympicsTM in Brazil, but I guess like most of the third world they conned it out of first world pension funds.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Lesson from Sochi Olympic Game, first running water, and THEN open for business.

Shemp 4 Victory's picture

The state of calamity there will be the basis for some sort of diversionary event. During the distraction at the Olympics, the US will again fuck up bigtime in another juvenile attempt to taunt Russia.

Considering what happened at the same time as the 2008 Beijing games and the 2014 Sochi games, I'd have to conclude that it's some sort of bizarre State Department ritual.

D Nyle's picture

Put all the leaders of the world in a gladiator pit and fight to the death. Winner gets one more year to rob his country blind, rest of the world saved

NoDebt's picture

I thought these countries were supposed to collapse AFTER the Olympics.


bonin006's picture

It's different this time.


wee-weed up's picture



Is there any way one can "short" the Rio Olympics?

I can't think of a more losing proposition.

DirkDiggler11's picture

I guess you could short the dumb-ass companies that paid big time to be Olympic sponsors and paid for tv ad time.. I would start with shorting Coke...

ufos8mycow's picture

A smart man would go to the Olympics with a suitcase full of toilet paper and clean up down there.

Silver Swan's picture

I think that would be browned upon.

SilverSphinx's picture



logicalman's picture

The olympics are just good cover for a chance for the chosen country to give favours, in the form of lucrative contracts, to the cronies.

Makes it all look above board.

Whenever there are large amounts of cash being thrown around by government, you can bet corruption is in the middle of the front row.

Fuck the man in the street, who ends up being forced to pay for it all.

Bunch of people running about and throwing shit, pretty much. Have to admit to enjoying the archery, but then, I do shoot a bow.

Circuses..... unfortunately for Brazillians, there's not much bread to go with them.

Interesting times.


Lore's picture



MalteseFalcon's picture

The olympics will go on regardless.

The global media, mainly NBC, will pony up the funds.

But if Brazil completely collapses, then they'll move it to London.

Unless WWIII.

Then see you in 2024.

In a bunker somewhere.

LowerSlowerDelaware_LSD's picture
LowerSlowerDelaware_LSD (not verified) MalteseFalcon Jun 17, 2016 8:31 PM

I'm just here for the click-bait.

Excellent job this time.  A three-fer!

Whatta's picture

three-fer? That's a warm 6-pack!

Small Government Is Better's picture

This is the greatest idea since sliced bread.  

It should also be televised.

That would likely make it the highest ratings show ever on television.

Thank you D Nyle for a great idea!

knukles's picture

Now now, let's not be getting with all the negative vibes.  His Lordship of Unicorn Skittle Shits and Universal Happiness will shortly announce that Rio (Our closest brethren, the original NordAmericanos who had to escape to South America centuries ago because of global warming.) is 100% safe for the Olympics and prove it by wash his two kid's hands in a bowl of pre-triple-filtered sterilized water from Rio.

Has anyone but me noticed that just about everything is going all to shit?

PS  At Obammy's rate, the US of A will be the only country participating in Rio.
Fucking awesome, we'll win all the golds!

Antifaschistische's picture

HA!!  too bad Brazil isn't a Muslim country.   Obama would have sprinkled a few Billion dollars on the place to ensure success, happiness, and to build a few dozen new Mosques.  

zero_wedge's picture

Funny how "mosque" and "mosquito" are similar words. Which one spreads the most disease?

WayPastCaring's picture

I haven't watched the Olympics since just after the start of the 21st century. I got fed up with the corruption in the IOC, in judged events, in the interminable 'Up Close and Personal' segments on the athletes, on time-delayed broadcasts when the fooking media in the U.S. shoved the winners down your throat before you knew they won, on doping scandals, on professionals (sensibly) deciding not to enter and so not getting the best athletes in the games, on idiotic events, on the enormous taxpayer resources wasted on the Games' infrastructure that is wasted, on the horrible locales they've been choosing - Rio just the latest. Too bloated, too long, comes around too often (Winter and Summer staggered). I loved them in my youth but this old man ain't having any of it any longer.

Bay Area Guy's picture

Wow.  You lasted far longer than I did watching the Olympics.  I stopped when the US started to send the Dream Team to the games.  I figured if I wanted to watch professional basketball, I'd just watch the NBA.  Even before that, I soured on the games when too many additonal "sports" that required judging came into existence.  I mean, they're geat athletes, but I don't think gymnastics or synchronized swimming should be considered sports.  Most objective points scored, fastest or farthest.  That's all I care about.  It got ultra ridiculous when I was watching ski jumping one year.  (I always hope to see the calamitous crash live, like they used to show at the start of Wide World of Sports.)  I saw the first jumper go down, and then saw that his score was a combination of distance and "style points".  That was that for the Olympics.

Nobody For President's picture

It ain't a sport if it can't kill you. (Skydiver saying.)

Nobody For President's picture

Works for paragliding and hangliding, too.

Ness.'s picture

So if the potential to die is now a prerequisite for new Olympic game, does that means I can tell my friends that even though it looks to them like I'm going to have a heart attack as I shovel this 12" of snow,  I'm actually an Olympic athlete in training?  I like that.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Voting on the winner = not a sport. Ergo, Div I College Football....not a sport.

Top Martian's picture

Scuba diving & rock climbing as well.

Victor von Doom's picture

Agree. I don't watch any sports anymore - sick to death of the global corruption pandemic.

I'd rather see the Olympics resurrected as it was orignally intented - a gathering of the world's best soldiers, competing in events that are linked to their martial skill, competing for victory laurels and being named greatest warrior on Earth.

I'd watch that.

True Blue's picture

Well, anybody in Central or South America who can run, jump or swim is here, so...

Amicus Curiae's picture

ROFLMAO ;-) +++++ well said ;-)

divingengineer's picture








Actually, you're right, EVERYTHING is fucked up. 

logicalman's picture

What do you mean 'just about everything'???

Victor von Doom's picture

Keep 'em. You can have all the mosquito plague and rabid starving masses as well, while you're at it.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Russian athletics team seems to banned from Olympics. What looks like a curse may look like a blessing soon enough. Obama should rejoice though, he fixed relations with Russia to the state of absolute unrepairability - alternatively gifted character all the way.

Antifaschistische's picture

If I were Putin, I'd let a few hundred of my finest hackers loose on Rio.  

ps. I have nothing against Brazil and these comments are intended to be taken as a bad sense of humor...I'm frequently told "___, THAT'S NOT FUNNY!)

froze25's picture

Rio doesn't get to choose, this is made by the Olympic folks, international body (NWO) controlled. 

divingengineer's picture

You have to lobby like hell to get it.

Hookers and Blow, 5-Star Hotels, $12,000 bottles of Champaign, Kobe Cheeseburgers, the whole nine yards.


espirit's picture

"If I were Putin, I'd let a few hundred of my finest hackers loose on Rio."

If I were Obama, I'd let a few hundred of my finest hookers loose on Rio.

There, fixed it.

Oh, wait...

Victor von Doom's picture

Your critics are lying to you. That is funny.

Squid Viscous's picture

Obozo would have so much action in Rio, he'd have to bring a spare asshole.

shovelhead's picture

A bit off topic but I can't resist the contrast with Obama's relations with Putin VS. Trump's opinion.

Trump responded to Putin’s praise in December by saying it’s “always a great honor to be so nicely complimented by a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond.”

“I have always felt that Russia and the United States should be able to work well with each other towards defeating terrorism and restoring world peace, not to mention trade and all of the other benefits derived from mutual respect,” Trump said in December.

Which seems more Presidential and represents the relationship America should have with Russia?
AdolphLustig's picture
AdolphLustig (not verified) shovelhead Jun 17, 2016 6:29 PM

Yup, trump will say anything to get elected, and you fools will follow him to hell.

divingengineer's picture

Name on person who is a serious contender that is not a total dildo-head.

Victor von Doom's picture

Trick question. You have to be a dlldo-head in order to be a serious contender.