Armed Man Breaks Into Venezuela's Central Bank - Crime In Progress

Tyler Durden's picture

In addition to violent, and often deadly, looting taking place at virtually every Venezuela venue that still has food, moments ago Reuters reported that - in what appears to be a crime in progress - an armed man has broken into Venezuela's central bank, and employees were hunkered down in their offices, two sources inside the institution said on Monday.

"An armed person got in," one of the sources said by text message from the office in downtown Caracas. "We're shut in our office. We don't know what's happening."

There was no official word from the bank or other Venezuelan authorities.

There was also no official word on what if anything the armed robber was hoping to find inside the bank which has been as looted of any valuables by the Maduro regime, as virtually every other place in the devastated socialist nation.

Then again, once the robber lands in prison for what will surely be a lengthy prison sentence, he will at least have a bed, a roof, 3 square meals and all the toilet paper he could need, much more than his impoverished peers, and all provided for by that socialist archetypal ideal: "other people."

In retrospect, not a bad plan.

Developing story

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froze25's picture

Get the metal, leave the paper! (the metal has probably been gone for some time now)

waterwitch's picture

I bet he was looking for bread.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Hey, you in the bank. Yes, you!

All you'll find in there is useless fiat paper. The Gold is long gone.


Now, if you had tried this a few years ago...........

<At this point, better late than never doesn't cut the mustard.>

Ghost of Porky's picture

Looking for toilet paper. Found fiat bills.

Left happy.

TradingIsLifeBrah's picture
TradingIsLifeBrah (not verified) froze25 Jun 20, 2016 3:23 PM

Joke is on him, that shit is emptier than a Venezuelan supermarket.  They will likely have to kill him so he can't tell the tale of all that he did not see (like gold)

Berspankme's picture

Does he look like Bernanke? Fuck You Ben

N0TaREALmerican's picture
N0TaREALmerican (not verified) Jun 20, 2016 2:59 PM


Lot's of normal looking traffic for a country in chaos. 

youngman's picture

That building looks

Central Banky....

silverer's picture

Looks like lots of parking, no money.

silverer's picture

Is there any thing in the bank worth stealing? Toilet paper, maybe?

froze25's picture

I love the movie Dumb and Dumber.

Emergency Ward's picture

They would step over the cash to reach the TP.

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Quick! Call Harry Callahan!


The 'Armed man' obviously reads Z/H and went to the appropriate banksters in charge of his long term starvation, eh.

Tall Tom's picture



Note that the scripture does not say "Vengenance is God Almighty's and belongs to Him alone."


The prophet says, "Vengenance is MINE", says the Lord your God. "I WILL REPAY."


The prophet declares that God authorized him to exact vengenance.


Most misread that for some reason.


When I read that in the King James Bible I always assumed vengeance was God's alone so that's why I always ask God to let me in on his vengeance just in case. Interesting that you mention that Biblical tid bit given the Oiligopoly, and 1%ers, of late. They do deserve to hang in the streets en masse IMHO. I know God expects me to 'love thine enemy' and all, but when it comes to the 1%ers that's pushing it a bit too far, methinks.

Tall Tom's picture




I write with snark at times....venting.


The instructions were to the prophet...not me. Isn't it interesting how the authorities twist the words?


We are in evil times. We may be in the actual End of Days.


I am just working at getting it right.


Always can use prayer. You know?

Tall Tom's picture





He needs to set it on fire and shoot those rats as they try to escape...


At this point it is not about money. It needs to be about vengenance.

shovelhead's picture

Just what we need.

Another religion nutter going Jehadi.

css1971's picture

Good man. Now that is how you deal with bankers.

I have a question though. Why does the central bank building look like a car park?

Pulp Culture's picture

I hope they have at least $100 or he's gonna be really pissed.

silverer's picture

I don't think he could carry out the US equivalent of $100.00 in that currency without an accomplice.

Bytor325's picture

cant be, guns are illegal in Venezuela.

the.ghost.of.22wmr's picture
the.ghost.of.22wmr (not verified) Jun 20, 2016 3:25 PM

One man's criminal is another man's freedom fighter.

Salsa Verde's picture

What's the point? a giant duffle bag of that currency couldn't buy a Happy Meal.

Benjamin123's picture

Facepalm quote: "Then again, once the robber lands in prison for what will surely be a lengthy prison sentence, he will at least have a bed, a roof, 3 square meals and all the toilet paper he could need, much more than his impoverished peers"

The author does not know Venezuelan jails. Ever saw Prison break? Remember Sona?

Able Ape's picture

He Probably was looking for toilet paper and the first thing that came to mind was the Central Bank...

PhiBetaZappa's picture

It may get serious if he pledges allegiance to Hello Kitty.

kanselier's picture

He had a debt problem, he was looking for "expert" advise.

bobbbny's picture

Armed bank breaks into Countries financial system.

Crime in progress on a continual basis.

dwilso39's picture

How ironic?! Banker (aka dis-Armed Robbers) break into this own facility...this is getting really weird

short screwed's picture

I would imagine there aren't even gold plated tungsten bars left (they've probably had to sell the tungsten). It's probably a vault full of wood blocks with a gold spray paint finish.

Wow72's picture

We finally got one headed for the RIGHT PEOPLE!!! GO BUDDY GO!, GO!, GO!, GO! GO!

kev the bev's picture

Must have been listening to MSM too much!

teslaberry's picture

and his name was .........eduardo einstein.

Mr. Big's picture

While you're there, cram your impoverished cock in a banksters ass...with no grease.

bigfire's picture

You're assuming they feed prisoners in Venezuelas.  

TheAntiProgressive's picture

Kill em all, let God sort it out.

Clashfan's picture

"Break your back to earn your pay. Don't forget to grovel. Daddy was a bankrobber."


vegan's picture

I can only guess that he's looking for a wheelbarrow.

oreo's picture
oreo (not verified) Jun 21, 2016 12:14 PM